Based on feedback I have changed the following:
Mission 1 - I replaced the Longbow with Bank Guards, added an ambush, and "uncrumpled" the note.
Mission 3 - I added a new clue to make the mission have more meaning beyond just do another act of evil.
Mission 4 - I added Victor (Angela's brother) as a hostage. I also took BubbaWheat's suggestion and in the wrap up indicated that Richardson wasn't so bad after all. The clue that I added to mission 3 foreshadows this.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I completely rewrote the mission 1 begin clue. The main problem that people had with this arc from the start was lack of motivation to commit acts of evil. When I rewrote this to be a Vigilante arc, I provided motivation which was to help Angela. Based on Bubba's feedback, I realized that while this motivation was clear to me, I wasn't doing a good enough job of conveying it to the player. I hope the new mission 1 clue now provides an understanding of the player's motivation for doing the things he does.
The last comment I have relates the the arc's title. I got feedback that it was vanilla and I can understand why. I struggled for a long time deciding what the title should be. I finally settled on the Vigilante and the reason for this can be found at the end of the souvenir.
I want to again thank all of you who played, and in some cases replayed this arc. Your feedback helped me so much. 
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest
Oh yeah, I forgot to reply to that PM because I didn't have time when I first read it, but I think the new clue does work a lot better.
Quote:
Thanks, your input helped me a lot!
|
Originally Posted by Bubbawheat
Oh yeah, I forgot to reply to that PM because I didn't have time when I first read it, but I think the new clue does work a lot better.
|
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest
Arc Name: The Vigilante
Arc ID: # 395861
Morality: Vigilante
Creator: @Gypsy Rose
Difficulty Level: 45-54
Enemies: Paragon Police, Longbow, Family, Custom Group
Synopsis: What is good? What is evil? Things are not always as they seem. A mysterious organization called the Greater Good had been recruiting many of Paragon City's finest heroes. Now they want you. Will you join them?
Length: 4 missions - the first map is very small - total play time should be less than one hour
The original version of this arc (The Greater Good) was written for Dr. Aeon's challenge which required me to write an arc where a hero performed evil for the greater good. I received lots of feedback from people who did not like playing an arc in which their hero did such acts of evil. Having spent months on this arc, I decided to change it rather than throw it away.
So, I have used the mechanics and play from the original to create The Vigilante, which I plan to enter in Dr. Aeon's latest challenge. In this version, your hero is a vigilante. Though your contact is the same as in the original, I changed the framing and the dialogue quite a bit. I provided more motivation for your actions and made the clues specific rather than cryptic.
I want to thank all of you who provided feedback on the original version, and I would especially like to thank Glaziusf for his feedback on The Greater Good (Vigilante Version).
I took his suggestion and made my dual briefings into briefings and notes in the form of a mission begin clue and I think it is a huge improvement.
As always feedback would be greatly appreciated.
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest