Text Adventure Fun Time!

I'm sorry. Name is not a valid direction.

You stand in your bathroom. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], And [A PEN]. On your sink, you notice a oddly placed [TOOTHBRUSH]. There is a door to the North. What will you do?

>GET toothbrush

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You take the toothbrush.

You stand in your bathroom. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], And [A PEN]. On your sink, you notice a oddly placed [TOOTHBRUSH]. There is a door to the North. What will you do?

>EAT toothbrush

You eat the toothbrush. You now have a minty fresh esophagus.

You stand in your bathroom. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], And [A PEN]. There is a door to the North. What will you do?

>LOOK mirror

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Biggest Troll on the forums? I'll give you a hint:

You look at the mirror, and note your brilliant teeth.

You stand in your bathroom. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], And [A Pen]. There is a door to the North. What will you do?

>TAKE pen

You take the pen.
You stand in your bathroom. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], And [A Pen]. There is a door to the North. What will you do?
Take out pocket watch to check the time, you notice your late.

Take out pocket watch to check the time, you notice your late.

You stand in your bathroom. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], And [A Pen]. There is a door to the North. What will you do?

>PONDER existance

You ponder if any of this stuff really matters. Is there a God? Is there an afterlife? Do I have to start at the beginning if I die in this game?

>ACTUALLY BOTHER to leave the bathroom. It's getting cramped with all the gnomes inside.

You ACTUALLY BOTHER to leave the bathroom.

25 gnomes jump in your pockets.

You stand in a small hallway, running East and West. There is a closed door at each end. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], and [25 GNOMES].

>WALK East

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Biggest Troll on the forums? I'll give you a hint:

You walk East and the gnomes weigh you down

You stand in a small hallway running East and West. There is a closed door at each end. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], [MATCHES], and [25 GNOMES].

>LIGHT matches

You light entire book of matches. They are too hot and you drop them, setting your foot on fire.

You see a [VASE WITH WATER IN IT], a [BLANKET], and a [FIRE EXTINGUISHER]

>USE fire extinguisher

Uses fire extinguisher on the cat for fun, then grabs the water in a vase and puts out the fire.

You then see your cars keys.

> Get's in the car to go to strip club cause you are bored.

You arrive at The Fox Hole, a reputable source of fine adult entertainment. You can go NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, WEST, UP, DOWN, THISWAYS, and THATWAYS. In your pockets you have a [POCKET WATCH], [A SMALL TOY CAR], and [25 GNOMES].

>ask gnomes for cash

A gnome answers that they have a brilliant plan to make money, and that they would be happy to give you money once they achieve Phase 3. For the moment, they are currently at Phase 1.

> EAT gnome

<《 New Colchis / Guides / Mission Architect 》>
"At what point do we say, 'You're mucking with our myths'?" - Harlan Ellison

You EAT the gnome. It is crunchy, and has a Caramel-esque flavor to it. You gain 7 health.

In your act of cannibalism the 24 Gnomes, the Assorted Patrons, and Voluptuous Ladies of The Night are disgusted and horrified. All run away, except for gnome 17. He is currently calling the police.

> ENTER THATWAYS in an attempt to evade the deadly Azberjanni Police Force.

use>A TABLE WITH A BOTTLE ON IT LABELED "DRINK ME"

you drink the strange liquor, which taste strangely like moth balls, and find on the bottom of the bottle..

A [key to a mystery box] and a [pill that will change you into a farm animal]

You are in a maze of twisty turny passages, all alike.

You see [AZERBAIJANI POLICE CAR], [A GRUE], A [key to a mystery box] and a [pill that will change you into a farm animal]

>feed pill grue