Well...
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I'm just fantastically glad you aren't on Union. Please don't refer to that as an 'RP bio.' I quite litterally shuddered when reading it, and that was only partially because you're quite right about your grammar.| As one of the most dangerous and intelligent A.I.'s to currently exist, Ryu cares little for how he speaks or acts around others. That said he has a rather quiet and shy personality, so he speaks little around most people he does not know well, is rather honest for a rogue A.I., and loyal to a fault most of the time. Some think he was created by Nemesis, others say it was the Vanguard. Who ever it was, he now answers only to himself and what ever god he believes in. |
I hope the above version helps. I promise it's as grammatically correct as I know how to make it.
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
The personality conflict is a little annoying, how can you not care how you act or speak around others, and yet be a shy person?
It doesn't make sense.
It may slightly annoy me because I know some one who claims to be like that.
Really don't like that person.
*Grumps*
Brawling Cactus from a distant planet.
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Mild correction to Birdy's version: Whoever and whatever are single words.|
Originally Posted by Ravenswing
As one of the most dangerous and intelligent A.I.'s to currently exist, Ryu cares little for how he speaks or acts around others. That said he has a rather quiet and shy personality, so he speaks little around most people he does not know well, is rather honest for a rogue A.I., and loyal to a fault most of the time. Some think he was created by Nemesis, others say it was the Vanguard. Whoever it was, he now answers only to himself and whatever god he believes in.
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I will say, Birdy, no need to trash someone's bio.
On the other hand, constructive criticism is usually welcomed:
It's risky saying that your toon is "one of the most..." anything, because it practically begs people to prove it wrong. Saying that sort of thing IC, though, can lead to some fun RP, especially if the toon is convinced it's true but actually it's a load of old cobblers.
There are a few contradictions in the bio that might need more clarification - if he doesn't care how he speaks, yet is loyal to a fault, and still further is very honest, what does he say to a friend whose feelings he doesn't want to hurt about something that he knows will hurt that friend?
I love a good blunt and outspoken character as much as the next guy, but it's tricky to pull off right, especially doing it in such a way that proves the toon is still an honourable friend.
It's somewhat unusual for an AI to believe in a divine entity - most wouldn't really understand that very human need. It would be perhaps more useful to clearly define which divine being he does believe in, though, unless you're intending to have him jump religions regularly.
The wisdom of Shadowe: Ghostraptor: The Shadowe is wise ...; FFM: Shadowe is no longer wise.
; Techbot_Alpha: Also, what Shadowe said. It seems he is still somewhat wise 
; Bull Throttle: Shadowe was unwise in this instance...; Rock_Powerfist: in this instance Shadowe is wise.; Techbot_Alpha: Shadowe is very wise *nods*; Zortel: *Quotable line about Shadowe being wise goes here.* Hmmmm I would say an AI could make a logical leap to believing in a divine being, the AI after all knows it is created, if it found it's creator to be lacking in worth, it could come to a pseudo logical decision that it's creation is due to something greater than its human creators.
Brawling Cactus from a distant planet.
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Originally Posted by CactusBrawler
Hmmmm I would say an AI could make a logical leap to believing in a divine being, the AI after all knows it is created, if it found it's creator to be lacking in worth, it could come to a pseudo logical decision that it's creation is due to something greater than its human creators.
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an electric monk ...
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Damn you for giving me ideas for characters, I have enough of them as it is and I've nearly maxed out all the buyable slots on Union...
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Originally Posted by Rock_Powerfist
an electric monk ...
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Battle Unit Omega, mechanical Paladin of Sul Dar the God of Science.|
Originally Posted by Rock_Powerfist
an electric monk ...
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Evidently its creators were divinely inspired, if they were naturally that talented they would not of lost the war against magic and died out.
Brawling Cactus from a distant planet.
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Ryu is a highly-intelligent AI. His intelligence is what makes him deadly: He can learn whilst in combat, adapting and improving all the time.|
Originally Posted by Altyrian
As one of the most dangerous and intelligent A.I.'s to currently exist, Ryu cares little for how he speaks or acts around others, that said he has a rather quiet and shy personality so he speaks little around most people he does not know well and is rather honest for a rogue A.I. and loyal to a fault most of the time. Some think he was created by Nemesis others say it was the Vanguard who ever it was he now answers only to himself and what ever god he believes in.
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His original social programming was basic, which can lead others to believe he is incapable of learned emotion and reasoning. Those who overcome this obstacle may consider that he is just 'shy'.
Somewhere deep within the core of his processor lies a protected memory bank: In it are algorithms designed to instil in the AI a sense of loyalty to [insert whomever is appropriate - your SG, a particular NPC, Arachnos, etc.].
His creation remains a mystery. Nemesis, Vanguard, the list of potential sources is endless and often fuelled by rumour.
But something within this intelligent AI is beginning to awaken to the possibility that, perhaps, Ryu can be its own master.
Okay, I have not checked the word count (being lazy
) but that would be my take on the biography. It's a bit 'purple' in places, but hey: You did ask for input. 
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too late i already made one ..
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Originally Posted by Dr_Mechano
Damn you for giving me ideas for characters, I have enough of them as it is and I've nearly maxed out all the buyable slots on Union...
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eeeeep *runs for the hills to avoid the "debate" about gods and science ....
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Originally Posted by CactusBrawler
Sul Dar the God of Science.
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Pious probably already beat you to it. |
Originally Posted by CactusBrawler
Battle Unit Omega, mechanical Paladin of Sul Dar the God of Science.
Evidently its creators were divinely inspired, if they were naturally that talented they would not of lost the war against magic and died out. |
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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Was my original RP character, still remember the good old days of trying to kill the good guy Dr Mechano.
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Originally Posted by FloatingFatMan
Pious probably already beat you to it.
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Brawling Cactus from a distant planet.
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I have a horrible blind spot about bios. Everyone has their problems.
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Originally Posted by Shadowe
I will say, Birdy, no need to trash someone's bio.
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Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
oh thanks everybody for the great help! thank you very much Arctic_Princess for a much better bio than mine i think ill use it if it will let me.
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
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oh here is a few pics of said toon Ryu Kuro|
Originally Posted by Altyrian
oh thanks everybody for the great help! thank you very much Arctic_Princess for a much better bio than mine i think ill use it if it will let me.
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One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
wow that's an amazingly cool costume, gratz on that!
thanks i always do my best for each and every costume i make!
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
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Love the one laser sight eye , and the claws . Cool toon
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Originally Posted by Altyrian
oh here is a few pics of said toon Ryu Kuro
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Originally Posted by Altyrian
oh thanks everybody for the great help! thank you very much Arctic_Princess for a much better bio than mine i think ill use it if it will let me.
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Feel free to. It's similar to your original one, just formatted.
Walls of text actually look 'okay' in the biography window, but AE writing has turned me into 'new subject: new paragraph' man.
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oh i have another biography i wrote for a contest to win the ppd costume token Q_Q but i fail... any way the biography is about my oldest and most beloved toon my ninja blade/ regen stalker tech origin also |
Originally Posted by Arctic_Princess
Feel free to. It's similar to your original one, just formatted.
Walls of text actually look 'okay' in the biography window, but AE writing has turned me into 'new subject: new paragraph' man. |
Alfred T Sulfurous was just like anyone else and he was getting tired of it, so he thought it would be a good idea for a change of pace. He went to the Paragon Police Department and enrolled to be a hard suit beta tester for project TYR an experimental new hard suit for the PPD. The new hard suit was unlike any other before it and while it may look like any other hard suit it was using some of the most cutting edge technology, but it was also very experimental technology! Not only was it able to bend light to make the wearer nearly impossible to see, it increased the regeneration rate to inhuman speeds the suit was outfitted with a special katana they were able to get from the vanguard used for close combat. To help Altyrian in certain rare events when he became unconscious or was poisoned and to repair any damaged armor or wounds he might suffer. it was given an experimental A.I. named sulfear that can bring Altyrian back to life if his wounds are grievous using a nano repair system
thats the shortened version that now sits in my bio his i share his namesake he his altyrian! on the victory sever
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
almost forgot the pic's again
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
Okay, here's my take on it:
Connecting to PPD test site database...
>>Welcome UserDesignation 1856-A to Sulfear
Searching for updates...
>>Systems online
>>Photorefractive field operational... 100% capability... no system anomalies detected
>>Nanite restoration programme active... Biosystems indicate threat status: Zero
Uplinking with Vanguar- ERROR!
>>ERROR! Designated Unit Report 372956-VS-H... Unit reported stolen... please retur-
Accessing Bypass System...
>> Welcome to Vanguard Sword!
>>Weapon systems active: Monomolecular Blade... Authorisation Process Complete!
>>Civilian ID: Alfred T Sulfurous
>>Designate Codename: Altyrian
Disconnecting from PPD database...
Disconnecting from Vanguard Sword...
I could have regurgitated something similar to the last one, but instead went for the Tech theme at full tilt.
As I'm assuming your character is a Villain, it makes little sense to me to just go with the fact that he has access to this technological marvel: a joint effort between Vanguard and the PPD.
Hence me alluding to the fact that this suit is stolen and has been hacked by the user.
once again you have out done your self artic! :3 <3
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
oh i even thought of a song for my toons! its city by hollywood undead!
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.
my grammar skills are mostly guess work mostly
could i get some pro help with my rp bio here is
what i have he's a claws/sr brute with a tech origin and here the bio i wrote
As one of the most dangerous and intelligent A.I.'s to currently exist, Ryu cares little for how he speaks or acts around others, that said he has a rather quiet and shy personality so he speaks little around most people he does not know well and is rather honest for a rogue A.I. and loyal to a fault most of the time. Some think he was created by Nemesis others say it was the Vanguard who ever it was he now answers only to himself and what ever god he believes in.
One by one bunny's steal my common sense for banana's on Ebay.