Need a fresh set of eyes...

So while I can't officially enter the FArt battle (as i couldn't think of anything for round 1), I was inspired by the current month's contest to do something... cheesecake-like...

I just finished the lines, but some things are still nagging me, but i'm too tired to figure out what. So if anyone could offer any help or advice on this, I'd appreciate it:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...FebFARTWIP.jpg (image removed, but link remains for posterity)

The big thing that I've been having problems with is how to pose (and accurately draw) the bottom girl's hands. I -think- I've got it, but again, a second (or third and fourth) set of eyes would be invaluable!

EDIT: Please see the picture lower down in the thread! it's the most recent version!

Is the one falling male or female? Looks kind of male except they seem to have breasts...

Oh, snap! XD it's a female, but a rather tomboyish and cheesed off female! I should probably lighten the abs (maybe only render them in the coloring stage?) and try to feminize her face a bit more. Thanks for the input!

And not that it matters because there's no way to tell, but she's being telekinetically hoisted around against her will (hence her expression), just for the record =)

...Huh, hadn't thought of that, and you're right, it IS hard to tell (heck, i even accidentally made her smile when drawing her...) The gag is that she's supposed to be keeping her shirt from falling off, so I guess i'll need to find another way to pull that off... Thanks!

AND holy**** i just checked that link and that is one FREAKY optical illusion! I can't make myself see it right! Agh, stupid brain! *bonks head*

Naw, they're torn jeans and combat boots. I'll just have to give her a different pose =)

As for miss bottoms-up, i think i'll have to redo her, also. Too many problems... but good call on the perspective, i think that's the thing that was bugging me most that I couldn't figure out! Though her head should be fine from that angle... maybe it should be lifted instead of just turning? hmmm... thanks!

Perhaps you should have someone flip you upside down in front of a mirror. The natural response to try and right yourself, first by moving your neck and then twisting at your core. perhaps you can use that to help define your falling fem's discomfort. perhaps she ought to be reaching out a bit more I understand she's in motion but i think the tendancy is to stop your fall then realize you are being exposed.

For balancing seal girl unless she's wearing paint i think the bottom should be less defined. The pants, even stretchy pants, aren't going to give that definition, from that angle.

Otherwise, looks like a fun piece I'd like to see the final product FART or not...Since last month was not an elimination month i don't see a reason you would be locked out for the whole year. But you'll have to moan to wassy about that (I'll help if you ask though)

Actually, she's being telekinetically held in place, but you're right, she should probably be trying to get herself rightside up. I've already started conceptualizing how to get the gag across using anothe angle, so i'll keep that in mind!

As for "seal girl" (XD), you're absolutely right, but i needed to make sure i knew where everything was. I'll probably make the butt crack a lot more subtle in the final piece. Thanks for the advice!

Nice to see you hear in the best part of the boards! I like your piece o' artz and looking forward to seeing it colorized!

Thanks Vexx!

Also, I just realized (while watching soem work out videos to see if any of them have a pose i could refence)... the perspective is totally messed up! The "camera" is ABOVE the girl lying down but yet we can see her lower back? Yikes, I'll have to scrap her completely and start fresh!

Okay! Here we go again:



The psi effect and the floating girl's legs are really just placeholders. I'm not quite sure what i want those legs doing. Also, her one arm is just kind of... there. I'm not happy with it. Any ideas? Does she at least look a bit more feminine now? (i see that compressing the picture kind of negates all the detail, bleh...)

And I know the girl on the bottom seems to be missing an arm, but in every photo I could find of someone doing something like that (especially from an angle and not straight-on), the other arm was almost always hidden from view. Mweh.

Thoughts and ideas?

This is a huge improvement on the last image! Some suggestions for your two questions (from someone with no formal right to give suggestions):

1. Floating-girl looks good being twisty. Head-torso-hips seem to keep twisting, but then her right leg is twisted back. Perhaps have it twist further (sort of behind-the-ankle perspective) so it looks like she's sliding down a spiral chute. Sorta.

2. The girl on the ground could be given a second arm by showing her right shoulder does exist, and perhaps having her right thumb show on her torso. That would mean her right hand isn't providing the same kind of support as her left, but that would possibly explain why there seems to be a bit of a twist to her hips as well (viz: if her right arm is concealed by her left arm, why isn't her right leg concealed by her left leg).

Nice work so far!

Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

I'm not an artist and know nothing about the medium, so take anything I say with a grain of salt.

It seemed you wanted to have the TK'd one struggling to hold up (or is it down?) her shirt, so you might want to have one of her arms holding the shirt, though I like the second one a lot better. (I thought she was laughing too!)

I agree that not seeing the other arm looks odd. Maybe she's holding it out to help act as a counter-balance or something.

edit: Although rotating the bottom girl a bit would solve this problem as well.

Quite an interesting forum you all have here.

Airhead: I like that first idea a lot, consider it done! Thanks! The second one though... it's a trick of perspective. I know you want to see a second arm.. heck, so do I. I want to DRAW one... but at this exact angle, it'll be hard to pull off. I'd show the references i used, but some of it isn't exactly work safe >_>

Tonality: You may not be an artist, but sometimes it's best to have an "outside" opinion. After all, if even an "untrained" eye can detect a problem, then that's all the evidence one needs to know that a problem exists! So your input is especially welcome! Anyway, when i was sketching this picture out, she WAS turned (was trying to get a nice butt-shot in), but then her face started getting hidden. She actually is at a bit of an angle right now, but it's trying to find a happy medium that's got me vexed. Guess I'll have to keep trying... thanks =)

And oh yeah, welcome to the fanart and screenshots forum =)

perhaps her pose needs to change. The problem is you want the seal's back and front, normally to see both sides we need a mirror or a glance over the shoulder. To do it whilst upside down...we need a chinese gymnist...or luke skywalker with yoda, training.

Perhaps you could sacrifice one butt for another. I think it's important to mention that these are all heroes...more or less so something that is a challenge for mortals, single handstand or similar could be effortless for miss seal :P

I think floating girls looks pretty good. too suddenly find herself floating it's natural that she is trying to stabalize herself by throwing out her arms. If you want you could certainly rotate her a bit more to get her bottom in frame.

definately tell us when you've got what you want :P we'll sit here all month and critique every revision, so don't let us do that you've definately made a great effort to capture so much motion in a single piece. well done.

Hhhrrrmm, I'm beggining to think that the floater's pose is as good as it's going to get, bending both legs just looks too unnatural and messed up =/

The problem with "seal girl" is that if she were on the RIGHT side of the page, the pose would look fine... maybe if I just twist her around or something, hmm...

I think a sky-diving reference may help you if you get stuck.

Hmm... Too lateral and boring to use in my picture, but i'll search out some other pics for more dynamic poses! Great idea, thanks!