My "I have no idea what I'm talking about" (c) comment would be Great Job except for maybe the eyes...
This may totally be corrected in the coloring but I think the line outlining the eyes is too thick and too consistant. They're still good eyes but in the pencils they are awesome.
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Okay here's what I got:|
Originally Posted by LadyJudgement
I'll critique this with images tomorrow, I'm in food coma from this weekend right now... let me just say it's a BIG improvement.
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Your original is in the upper left, the first version is in the lower left, and the free style version is the big one... Basically I think you need to get yourself 3 sets of pens, a #1 for your thickest lines, ie outlines of the overall figure, outlines of the individual elements, ie the hair, etc... then a # .05 or half whatever the one is, and use that for interior details, like muscle and bone lines, costume separations, etc... lastly you need a # .001 or .005, the superest finest point you can fine, the kind of point you could stick in a fly's face and he'll say "would you get that cannon out of my grill!" That pen is for your eyes, your lip details, etc...
With that in mind, I separated 3 areas of your original that I thought could use it, and blended too much with the overall line weight. I did this to the hair, the emblem and the sash. I also augmented the face a bit, as per Caemgen's suggestion.
Finally the big version, where I went to town. Your marker version is very nice, but using the same approach overall makes you think she's made of metal. When in fact you have a lot of fleshy meaty curves here that could use a bit of oomph! That's the beauty of those little cross hatchings...
They give the viewer's eye a nice delicate break from that bold black! Practice some more of that, and push it, I think you'll get the hang of it, but don't shy or avoid it, the penciller uses them cause he knows they help define form AND texture... as an inker you have at your disposal that bold black ALL the time, which penciller's will frustrate themselves trying to recreate. Some do that " x " thing left for you, which is what I thought you were doing when I inked the big version, cause you left alot of stuff he had already placed in shadow as open to either color later or bold black sooner.
Yes you could differentiate the 3 areas I did in color or color holds, but even under those, you'd fine the thinner line helps to make your bolder ones POP! Anyway, hope that helps...
Bobby
thanks for yet another ensightful critique bobby, I'm going to have to find something new to ink so I can work on the things you've mentioned. and practise my hatching, (I went through 3 comic boards before I decided to skip the hatching and go for the marker look instead 
) I will look at using the equipment you mentioned aswell. 
thanks again! ...er... again!
Biiiiiig improvement! The variation makes such a difference!
And what's so scary about hatching??
Actually, he did a little for you in a couple areas, so you could also have followed his lines.
Great discussion - thanks for the perspective and edifications!
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Well while were at it Ben: you could also use...
A brush pen marker and a few pens large than a 1 so you can color larger areas faster, just make sure they don't bleed through. And if you want that hair effect from the MB video, you'll need a second brush pen that you will have to cut into 3 or 4 times to make mutliple points. You COULD go waaay old school and use a # 1 Windsor & Newton Sable brush, a line art brush if they even make those still... there's more but that should do ya to start. Gees this feels like I'm teaching art again... 
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Heh I can normally hatch alright, but It has been awhile since I've drawn traditionally, I really need to practise.|
Originally Posted by Wassy
Biiiiiig improvement! The variation makes such a difference!
And what's so scary about hatching?? Actually, he did a little for you in a couple areas, so you could also have followed his lines. |
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Originally Posted by Mr. NoPants
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funny movie.Quote:
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Originally Posted by LadyJudgement
Well while were at it Ben: you could also use...
A brush pen marker and a few pens large than a 1 so you can color larger areas faster, just make sure they don't bleed through. And if you want that hair effect from the MB video, you'll need a second brush pen that you will have to cut into 3 or 4 times to make mutliple points. You COULD go waaay old school and use a # 1 Windsor & Newton Sable brush, a line art brush if they even make those still... there's more but that should do ya to start. Gees this feels like I'm teaching art again... |
I will look into trying it though. I have a brush pen I use for large area's (came in handy on cloak and dagger)hehe you feel like a teacher, I feel like a student for a change, I've learned more from you in the last week then I learned during an entire year in my design course
I'll critique this with images tomorrow, I'm in food coma from this weekend right now... let me just say it's a BIG improvement.