Made a few edits. First of all, in the first mission there are a few battles. For the sake of the story, one of the groups is supposed to lose every time, and they were usually winning. So I nerfed their effectiveness. I also changed a few animations in the escort in the first mission.
The biggest change though is to the last mission. Even though it contains several AV's it is supposed to be a rather easy mission, but I got a few complaints from people who said they could not complete it. So I added a little more help. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
This review is a few days late, and I appologise as I see you've already made some changes and some of this will probably not apply anymore.
Ran this with part of my gaming group. Should've run it with more people and different toons as it definitely qualifies as a killer arc. Lord Recluse and the patrons are all in the last mission which should be listed in the description. They are very tough AVs that you need high level toons for. Our group was half 30s, a 20 something, and a 48ish. So, we ended up having to quit during the last mission. (From your post apparently this has changed)
The overall arc had the problem of having the first 4 missions being 29-35 and the last mission for 44-50 which until recently meant a group of 45+ toons (which is what you should have for this series) would get no xp for the first 4 missions, or you have our group who couldn't complete the last mission. This is a fairly serious flaw mechanically.
Custom Characters:
The Virtea, a mostly shark themed group. Interesting combo of powers, but I'm not sure of the term virtea, also one of the info mentioned something like dushelegos (misspelled). I'm not aware of that term either. They had their own version of the Sapper which can turn some people off. The costumes were pretty good. The expansion of the Coralax was interesting, but you didn't follow their naming convention. I would personally think that the EBs would be called turquoise; that's just a personal preference though.
Story:
Captain Mako is your contact. In some of the dialog he seemed a little too nuanced and introspective which is not how he generally speaks. Most of the time he sounded fine. The story deals with the Virtea who have been around for 1000s of years and are the slaves of the Coralax. It kind of begs the question of why haven't we seen them before which might not be a big deal to some.
After the 2nd mission I am supposed to feel really really lucky for some reason, but it's not clear why from the clues or dialog up to that point. We learn that they've been looking for some type of messiah to free them like a shark Moses. I come to find out that I'm supposed to be that messiah which I guess is why I feel really really lucky. We free the sharkmen and they're so happy that they'll do anything I ask; this is the real point at which I would feel really lucky and this knowledge should probably be moved up to make the motivation clearer. I'm a villain and freeing people even shark people seems altruistic unless there's a great benefit to me.
Anyway, I decide that I want to rule the Rogue Isles, and how to accomplish that, by destroying the Rogue Isles. umm.... uh.... what? This is where the story kinda goes off the rails for me. I was pretty much fine with writing off the changed canon as alternate universe sort of stuff, but this is a little different. I've heard of taking over the world, destroying the world, and taking over the world by threatening to destroy the world, but destroy the world and then take it over? Basically, this is the villain version of "you can't have your cake and eat it too." This is a big plot problem for me.
Obviously, I never finished the arc so maybe there was some big reveal at the end (it was all a dream/illusion/etc), but hopefully this is still helpful to you.
-Galth
An excellent review, Galth, and my own experiences were similar, although not identical. This review is one day late, so I may have had the help described.
I agree that Captain Mako could be a more vicious contact than how he's written. I understand the subject matter might even make Mako a bit philosophical (millions of years of anthropomorphic fish history) but, from the start, when a player hasn't learned that much, it's hard to swallow.
There's a level switch in the last mission, intended to make you feel "boosted". If you'd exemplared in the first place it will do just that, but then you get to take on opponents who are even tougher still. I played a L50 controller with accolades and lots of purples, and still found mission 4 very hard, and mission 5 impossible. Someone like Galth who played within the original level range would really suffer.
All that said, the first four missions add up to a darn good story. I can see why you're proud of this one. The map choices and plot tie together very well, and do a great job of making the player feel vaguely messianic. I rated it 4-star. It'd be 5-star if you find a way to conclude the story after 4 missions, or try something different in the fifth. Messiahs, historically, are solo, and the background suggests a solo messiah, so the mission would be great if it could be soloed.
Mission 1
The mission has a nice, solid purpose. I'm a lackey to Mako, but at level 25-31 that's fine.
Intriguing entry pop-up. It seems a horrible map to navigate, but after a few times through it's actually not that bad at all. It's one I've rarely seen, so I enjoyed it.
Surprisingly my escort only got stuck on the map three times (in three plays) on the way out.
The escort isn't at the end of the map, in the really cool rooms, but we'll get to see this map again.
Question though - the virtea don't seem very magical, yet they use magical holds. Perhaps their description could bridge this gap.
In the return message, Mako says, Only the Strike Force leader survived? thats not true, as most of the arachnos seem to survive their battles; they even win some of them without me. Youd could force the arachnos to con as grey (use a custom group of standard low level arachnos) if you want this to be true.
Mission 2:
Nav says 9 bookshelves to search, which might cause some people to give up. Just list the 2 required objectives (as described by Mako), even though there's irrelevant bookshelves as well. Less onerous-sounding...
The Prophecy of the Descender Clue is very cool, and is perhaps what Galth missed, regarding your luck.
On my return, Mako says, "No luck huh?" - but I did have luck. If I am holding something back from Mako then my exit pop-up could indicate that.
Mission 3:
Nice mission introduction. The busy text could suggest that prophecies don't go away, so no rush. The generalising pot-shot at religion doesn't help much.
The allies look very cool. I collected them for fun, but it wasn't much fun trying to get them to negotiate the map. Such is life. The challenge was trivial (perhaps since I had holds) but it gets better.
Okay, so I figured I had a lot of allies, and Confuse, so I could just confuse the villain's pets and let my allies finish him off. It didn't work (good, I shouldn't get credit for being stupid) and I should have finished him off earlier. But now, a problem. Once I lose my allies, I cannot touch this guy. So many pets! I decide to quit the game, come back in, and restart the mission. This is a problem with arcs that rely on allies.
I beat the big boss, and another one appears! It's entirely within the storyline, but boy, was that a scare. Luckily, my allies were still there to bail me out, and we defeat the pretender to my destiny. WAY cool.
Mission 4:
This is a villain arc extraordinaire - destiny fulfilled, I get to go splat stuff. It's not really an anticlimax, since I enjoyed playing fish-god and just bashing lots of stuff. I swung heaps of battles in favor of MY fish. It's a little bit of a stretch to still have Mako as my contact at this point, but I think I let it slide.
Mission 5:
Okay, so now I go bash Mako (and friends) for my contact, Mako. At this point, I felt it was a gratuitous multiple-signature-villains arc. These were legion back in the earliest days of Architect Entertainment, and I know this arc dates back that far, so it's almost excusable. Except that it doesn't quite fit with the storyline (the contact) and ultimately, is unbeatable, solo. That's fine, I think it's meant to highlight I'm not quite ready for that level of invincibility - but there's no way to end the mission without winning, and even if I could it'd be the crappiest way to end an arc where I got to feel SO cool.
Incidentally, this mission would at least do better if the allies would shout out when they get left behind. For reference (determining which version I played) I had 3 lieutenant allies and an EB ally. I was on level 1 difficulty, that may have reduced them from Boss/AV status.
Overall, I think this arc is on the verge of greatness. I really loved the first 4 missions.
Typos:
M1 intro: Sharkhead isle -> Sharkhead Isle
Description of Virtea Mako: missing a period on the end
Description of Virtea Hammerhead: inteligence -> intelligence Also, perhaps "compensated" is not the word you're looking for here - maybe "balanced" or "offset".
Prophecy of the Descender Clue: need period on end of second paragraph.
M3 intro: Is -> is
M3 Nav info says '3 Chieftans' -> Chieftains?
[NPC] Redjaw: Why do you leave me Descender! -> ? on end
M3 return: Sharkhead 'isle' again
M4 return: bothers -> brothers
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
I made a few edits following PW's review. First and foremost, the Virtea are now tougher. For the story to work, they should win most every battle they get in, and with their bump up, now they do. Also, I completely overhauled the last mission. No more claustrophobic submarine map, and no more clunky abyss wells system. Just a big ol' battle on the grandville beach.
First of all I would like to say that this is indeed an old arc. It was originally published shortly after I14's release, and recieved a respectable amount of attention. However, I had to remove it to make way for my 3-part arc "The Lost Choir" (which is currently nominated for best Multi-part arc in Bubbawheat's player's choice awards). I recently bought additional slots, gave it some more polish, and republished it, but I only got one solitary play. I put far too much effort into this to just let it sit at one playthrough.
That being said, I think this might be my strongest arc. It benefits from being through a TON of revisions, as well as one complete rewrite. It's a villainous tale, and a very villainous one at that. Be sure to leave your moral compass at the door in other words.
One other thing. I am currently pondering making a sequel to this arc, and I would like opinions on wether I should go through with it. As it stands the ending is somewhat open ended. Would you like it to stay that way? Or would you like an exploration of the events proceeding the world-shattering events of the arc.
Please check it out, and I hope you enjoy!