[u]The Love Bug Part 2[u]
Well, said the Wytch, Mistress of the Arcane, its certainly not cursed.
Eutheginia felt somewhat disappointed, this woman was not at all what shed expected. While the green hair and black clothing were possibly moody, even mysterious as a stretch, the Wytch herself behaved nothing like a costumed hero. She was entirely lacking the gravitas.
And if it were haunted thered be significantly more wailing and dripping of ectoplasm. said the Wytch, Master of the Way of the Spectral Hand.
Also it would likely be floating at least three more feet above the ground and trying to kill you.
The teacher looked on as the Wytch prodded the computer case experimentally with a booted foot. Following the reopening of the green line extension, Eutheginia had received an invitation to visit a cousin in Salamanca. First hand experience had taught her that the witches of Croatoa were the real stuff of pointy hats and black cats. Admittedly this woman did have a cat, but it was pink and white, made of threadbare cloth and apparently attached to the shoulder of her t-shirt with several large safety pins.
Also thered be a lot more pumpkins. Probably. Ish.
There werent any pumpkins inside when you opened it?
David from Technical Support mumbled a no. Hed been somewhat subdued since the woman had arrived. Maybe hed met her before in his alternative capacity. Miss Crabtree was beginning to wish that shed leave, some more alone time with the good Captain might yet salvage her evening. Instead, the Wytch continued her interminable perusal of the dysfunctional machine, now pressing a few keys.
Hic! Hic! Hic!
Hic!
The last one was from a grinning Bunny Love, perched atop a nearby table. It caught her a stare that would have turned a Basilisk to stone. The child went quiet and began intently studying her own swinging feet. Perhaps the woman had some power after all, Eutheginia mused, anyone who could keep Bunny under control
Its possessed. announced the Wytch, increasingly impatient Mother of Bunny Love.
Probably a minor imp of some sort
or a Gremlin.
Ah, Gremlins! said David from Technical Support, Well theres not much I can do about that, and you seem to have a firm grasp of the situation
David from Technical Supports finely sculpted bottom disappeared out of the door with unnatural haste. Eutheginia found herself wishing shed been smart enough to engineer such an opening.
Is there anything you could do to get it out of there, Miss Love?
Mrs Love.
There was a Mr Love? The teacher was taken slightly aback by the idea, but she supposed in retrospect that, obviously, there must have been.
Is there anything you could do to get it out of there please, Mrs Love?
Hum, I guess I could perform an exorcism or something
Eutheginia suddenly found she had very little desire to be in the room. Or the building. Wasnt Technical Support based in C block? That would be at nearly the very opposite end of the campus from here.
Might I have a glass of water please, Miss Crabtree
This seemed more normal and Eutheginia was more than happy to comply.
Bunny, one of your text books honey! Math if you have one.
Ys Mom.
Eutheginia filled a plastic cup with water from the small metal sink in the supply closet. What did Math have to do with magic? Still, she was hardly the expert.
No Math on Monday. Will Biology do?
Sure, Honey!
The teacher returned with the water, watching as the Wytch tore a page from the text and began folding it into a something that looked like a cube with three sides. Well, if you didnt look at it for too long it did, anyway. This was fine with Eutheginia who found that looking at it for more than a few seconds made the inside of her head feel like it was on the outside of her head. Finished, the Wytch placed the paper cube on the desktop and began fishing in her purse, retrieving first a stainless-steel lighter, then a black plastic ballpoint with a chewed cap. She placed the lighter on the desk in-between the text book and the cube.
Thankyou, Miss Crabtree
The Wytch drank the water in one long gulp, then placed the pen upright in the empty cup, to the left of the text book. Finally she dragged the computer into a clear space on the floor. Eutheginia began to remember what was about to happen.
Should I leave the room?
Nah, I doubt therell be much in the way of spinning heads or vomit.
The Wytch winked. She retrieved the cup from the desk and stood before the demon infested electronica, cup in one hand and pen in the other.
Plastics far from ideal for this bit, but its the thought that counts.
She waggled the pen back and forth inside the cup, it made a plasticy TokTok Tok noise.
With this Bell I summon thee!
My God! Thought Eutheginia Crabtree, she really believes this. The Wytch took up the text book.
With these Words of Law I bind thee!
There really should be a gale from blowing up from hell, thought the teacher. The room remained defiantly breeze-free, except for a few mild gasps from the ancient air conditioning.
The Wytch took up the lighter. It steadfastly refused to light. The Wytch shrugged and held it aloft anyway.
With this flame I command thee! Appear!
no!
The voice was greasy and jagged and
small.
With this flame I command thee!
bugger off!
The voice was reedy and tinny, amplified by the metal case of the desktop computer.
Appear!
you must be daft if you think Im coming out there, all unprotected like!
The Wytch gave a deep sigh. She picked up the small cube holding very carefully with just the fingertips of both hands. To Eutheginias mind the woman looked as if she believed it might bite one of her fingers off. Then the Wytch flung her arms wide away from the cube at some speed. Purple space folded and unfolded about the object for what seemed an eternity. A few seconds later a man shaped piece of space hovered in the air before her. Eutheginia found she couldnt recall how it had got there. Mist or possibly steam began to form in the air about the Wytch and when she next spoke the teacher knew not to refuse her.
I suggest you might like to leave now.
Eutheginia left the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
Five minutes later it was, somehow, all over. Mrs Love exited the classroom looking quite calm and, Eutheginia noted approvingly, now holding Bunnys confiscated pink game device. Mrs Love apologised for any inconvenience and left the same way as she arrived by foot through the front door. The classroom, Miss Crabtree discovered to her delight, was now slightly cleaner and tidier that when the woman had arrived. The computer was now fully functional and at it sat an unhappy looking Bunny Love, slowly and deliberately typing over and over the same, cryptic single line of text.
Minor fiends are no compensation for a lack of hand eye co-ordination
That evening Miss Mentalism and Captain Capacitance would enjoy a crisp, cheap, glass of Chablis together.
----
Wytch
Still Mostly Defiant.
[u]The Love Bug Epilogue[u]
Extract from transcripted recording of Incident X159z7362a. M.A.G.I. report archive.
Pg3
Crabtree, Eutheginia exits room. Door slams.
B.Love: Pfft. Laughs.
E.Love: I dont know what youre laughing at young lady; you are in so much trouble.
Laughter subsides.
E.Love: (Addressing construct) Pick up the box.
Noise of metal case being lifted.
E.Love: Ok. Now that we dont have an audience. (beat) Ive just about had it with you. Get the hell out of there right now.
Several seconds of silence.
E.Love: Fine. Well do it my way. (Addressing construct) Shake the box. Hard.
Noises of small object rattling around inside metal case. Small nearly inaudible Oofs and Ows. The ratting ceases. A sound like a wet slap and other Oof.
E.Love: Stop. (beat) Now what exactly do we have here. Youre way too small to be a gremlin. What are you, a glitch?
Hiccup: im a hiccup.
E.Love: Laughs. Good Lord!
Hiccup: if im lucky, ill be promoted to hitch after this.
E.Love: Ha.
Hiccup: perhaps you could put in a good word for me with my supervisor?
E.Love: Perhaps. It was good work, but youre a little outside your field arent you?
Hiccup: tell me about it, humans are one thing, but machines. oy!
B.Love: I think I might go see if Miss Crabtrees
Pg 4
E.Love: Shush Bunny. (beat) This brings us to an important question doesnt it? Just how did you get inside that computer?
Hiccup: thats an interesting story that is. i was minding me own business catching up on the paperwork, theres a lot of paperwork in my business, lot of forms what with the summonings, and the contracts, and the reports. a friend of mine got her i132s and her i145s mixed up just last week and
(beat) sorry. Well anyway I was minding me own when out of nowhere there was this whooshing and im thinking hold up i dont have another summoning schecuduled til next friday week, and just as i was thinking maybe id signed up for overtime and was expecting a nice warm throat,(beat) suddenly ysee i was in this tiny pink box with all these fancy shiny bits inside
Several seconds of silence.
B.Love: What?
E.Love: Bunny?
B.Love: It wasnt me I was just
E.Love: Bunny!
B.Love: It was just that, well I just wanted to beat Ginny at
E.Love: Bunny how many times have I told you. Minor fiends are not toys!
B.Love: But Mom, Ginnys such a cheat shes got these
E.love: Im very disappointed, young lady.
B.Love: I was gonna put him back right after, honest.
Several seconds of silence.
Hiccup: Can I go now. Ive got a mountain of paperwork to catch up on.
Recording ends.
----
Wytch
Still Mostly Defiant.
I like!
Defiant 50's
Many and varied!
@Miss Chief
Class, nice little story Wytch.
Cheered me up on a Monday morning too (which ain't easy)!
Very nice
Very good! enjoyed muchly. Has overtones of Mr Terry Pratchet....love to see more!
[u]The Love Bug.[u]
Dont think I wont see you lurking there Bunny Love!
Eutheginia Crabtree was a twelve year veteran in the war against unruly seventh graders. In a city where super-powers were as ubiquitous as polished smiles were in a boy band, the precognition displayed by teachers around their students was often a more genuine talent. In this case Eutheginia had required none of her natural abilities to foresee that the hall beyond the empty doorway would contain a pink clad pre-teen, likely come in search of her, equally pink, and freshly confiscated, electronic handheld device.
I was just getting something from my locker, Miss Crabtree.
The vacant doorframe spoke in a sweet, singsong accent that was slightly undermined by just a hint of Northern English around the edges.
Bunny, your locker isnt even in this building!
Eutheginia felt the girl edge into view, her attention, however, was focused elsewhere; occupied, as it was, on thoughts of her afternoon lesson plan, her aching calves and of the sculpted, overall clad, rear-end that jutted from below the desk in front of her.
Er I was getting something from Ginny Wellmonts locker?
You have something stored in Virginias locker? Bunny?
Er Yes? said the child, hopefully.
Miss Crabtree wondered if David from Technical Support worked out; his physique certainly seemed somewhat abnormal for his line of work. Of course, this was Paragon City and it was possible, even probable, that his mild mannered and very well toned exterior was merely an alter-ego.
What, might I ask, could you possibly have stored in Virginias locker, Bunny?
Er
Eutheginia had briefly worn the spandex herself, but had soon discovered her interest lay largely with the viewing of men in tight fitting outfits, and that the reality of wrestling them to the ground was significantly more fun in the comfort of her own home, when their intentions were something other than her immediate demise. Given her outfit at the time their intentions had often clearly been something and her immediate demise but that had been a cold comfort.
A book perhaps?
Er Yes, she lent a
Borrowed, Bunny
borrowed a text book from me. a broad smile of palpable relief beamed from the girl.
She had kept the costume of course, and attended a regular dancercise class.
Youd best hurry along and retrieve it then?
The girl started from the doorway.
Bunny, Dear?
How do you plan to open Virginias locker without her locker key?
Eutheginia could feel the girls grimace. Retrieving the offending plastic object of contention from where it lay, amid a myriad of discarded computer innards atop the desk, she proffered it to the child.
Thanyou Miss Crabtree
Returning her attention to more immediate concerns, the teacher used her gift to confirm that loosening the top button of her blouse, had lead to an evening with a bottle of fine wine and David from Technical Supports lycra clad buns. The lycra, apparently would be blue and white, and she was fairly sure that if she leaned forward just so, and feigned a touch more interest in his work, that Captain Capacitance would spend the evening revealing a little more than his secret identity to her.
Perfectly on cue, the repairman finished his work and drew himself up to an eyeful of Miss Crabtrees carefully arranged vista. She found the way he feigned clumsy embarrassment by bumping his head on the desk quite adorable, and the way he adjusted his unnecessarily thick-rimmed glasses was just sweet.
Did you find the problem then David?
The computer had been playing up nearly all the way through her seventh grade English class. So had Bunny Love, until the confiscation of her infernal device.
I believe so Eutheginia The computer genius rapidly forgetting his Clark Kent routine in the face of triumph.
The computer had displayed a variety of odd symptoms starting with a simple refusal to show the page of work she had selected. The system would suddenly, and without any prompt, skip forward several pages. The first few times this happened she had put down to more of Bunnys mischief; but the girl had protested innocence and after a while this had stopped of its own accord. Then, first the lettering, followed slowly by the rest of the display, had turned a shade of sickly green.
As the computer screen flickered back into life David from Technical Support was treated to the kind of look that would ensure neither party would be in costume for a great deal of their evening together. Of course none of this would have happened had the computer responded to being rebooted or hadnt insisted on producing a small Hic noise whenever a key was pressed. Miss Crabtree was now quite glad she had finally been forced to call the IT guy.
There we are! Nothing in days work for Technical Support Man!
David from Technical Support turned to smile at her, in victorious conquest of his foe. He moused over and clicked on Start.
Hic!
Eutheginias perfect evening suddenly drowned in a tide of sickly green.
No! No! No! Work damn you! Ive replaced every damn component! The damn things Cursed
My Mom says you shouldnt swear at inanimate objects
A nearly sweet, singsong voice.
Bunny!?
I was just leaving Miss Crabtree, only
Yes Bunny?
Maybe it is cursed? said the girl in the doorway, looking ever so serious.
And if it is maybe my Mom could help?
----
Wytch
Still Mostly Defiant.