It's nice to read what's happening behind the scenes.
But I can see what you mean. It's a nice piece, but it does lack ... 'something'.
It reads a bit, I don't know, bland? As if I'm expecting turmoil beneath the surface, but there isn't any (well, not much).
Perhaps it reads like I'm observing Minako, rather then accompanying her?
To explain that last part...
My character is stable, reserved and a bit cool at times. At least that's what is seen, underneath the surface of that 'controller' exterior there's often a turmoil of thoughts, emotions, ideas and history that I, as the player know is there.
The others are observing, I am accompanying.
I hope this all made some sense, and I hope it does you some good
@ShadowGhost & @Ghostie
The Grav Mistress, Mistress of Gravity
If you have nothing useful to say, you have two choices: Say something useless or stay quiet.
((Story based on IC events in the GG continuity, critique more than welcome, I'm not entirely happy with it and can't work out why))
4th August 2006, Galaxy City 11am
A soft beeping slipped through the fog of sleep overlaying her mind, recalling her to wakefulness far too soon. Minako opened her eyes, looking blurrily around, the room not her familiar pink and lace room at the lab, the furniture unfamiliar.
A hand on her shoulder recalled her to full wakefulness, and she looked up at Juan, his normal eyes closed and his third eye open in meditation. Is something wrong love?
Minako shook her head slightly, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes. Its just the comm, Circe wouldnt wake me unless it was important, Id better check what it is. You keep resting though
Juan nodded slightly and went back to meditating as she slipped out of bed, grabbing a dressing gown off the back of the door. It hung on her like a tent, Sophies, not hers, but it didnt matter, it was warm. She slipped outside, heading for the privacy of the roof before answering her comm.
Hai Circe? The melodious, not quite accented tones of the labs main controlling computer answered her. Miss Minako, I apologise for disturbing your rest, but I have just received an alert from the PCPD that charges have been filed against you.
Minako sat down slowly on one of the air vents, pulling the robe around her more tightly, her voice faint. Charges?
Circes voice comes back, emotionless as ever. Yes, Miss Minako, Miss Pyranah has filed them against you claiming assault when you struck her. The police request your presence for questioning. I feel I should remind you that her actions in provoking you were an attempt to prevent the arrest of her friend.
Minako stared numbly down at her hands. Does that make hitting her any better?
Circes voice took on a faint, though impossible, hint of smugness. In the eyes of the law? Yes.
Minako looked out over the city, the deceptive stillness and peace denying the chaos beyond the war walls. I guess Id better go get dressed then
She dressed quietly, wrapping her shields tightly around herself to hide the inner emotion and turmoil she felt, slipping out the house like a ghost in the night. When she reached the police station, the receptionist looked at her blankly. Can I help you Miss?
Minako bit her lip, her thoughts running wild. She could just walk away, pretend she didnt know what was happening, the receptionist asked the question again, making up her mind. She was proud of herself, her voice not faltering as she said. My name is Nishizumi Minako, I believe Im wanted for questioning
She wasnt sure what shed expected to happen, if she believed the TV shows the cops around her should have pulled guns and slapped handcuffs on her. What she hadnt expected was for a kind-faced woman to lead her over into a room with comfy chairs and give her a cup of tea, although it made it easier to tell her side of the story.
The woman seemed incredulous, until Minako handed over her hero licence, then she spent ages outside on the phone, becoming steadily more and more agitated. Minako stopped sipping at the tea, the cup going stone cold in her hands.
Finally she came back into the room, looking a lot less calm than before. Miss Nishizumi I mean hero Hikari I mean
Minako didnt look up. Eithers fine
The woman looked at her, compassion in her eyes. Youve caused the legal boys a pretty big headache you know, but we wont be pressing charges at this time. Theres a representative from MAGI on the way to see you though, so I have to ask you to remain here
Minako nodded numbly at her, setting the tea down on the table and staring over at the wall. The police detective shook her head slightly as she walked out. Poor kid, she looks way too young to be a hero
Minako looked up as someone new entered the room, a man she didnt know, holding her hero licence in his hand. He looked at her, then waved his hand and a shimmering barrier sprang up around the room, cutting off the faint hum from outside.
The man looked at her, peering over half moon spectacles. My name is Christos, Minako, now, why dont you start from the beginning?
At the end of it, Minako felt exhausted, drained. Some of the questions made sense, questions about Winter, about their friendship, but some of them didnt, questions about the war, about her fathers death, her work, her relationships even. No matter how much shed tried not to talk, shed found the words pouring out, the only thing stopping them an occasional bout of tears.
Christos made notes in a small notebook, uming and ahing occasionally. He looked over to her as it finally finished. My recommendation, Minako, although it will not be strictly enforced, is that you attend counselling sessions before resuming any super-powered activities. If you wish I can recommend a number of qualified psychiatrists used to working with both heroes and young people.
Minako just nodded numbly, and he looked sharply at her. Or maybe I should book you the first appointment. Youre human Minako, and youve been through stuff that most people couldnt cope with. Frankly Im impressed with your restraint, but were here to help you, support you.
One quick phonecall later, and Minako found herself escorted across the city in a car with tinted windows, being escorted into a green baize room with a couch and desk. The far door opened and a youngish woman, her hair pulled up in a ponytail, entered the room carrying a tray. Hello Mina-chan, its been a while. No more nightmares I hope? Do you still have three sugars in your chocolate?
Minako nodded at her, then sat down on the couch and started to cry.