Creature: Chapter Two


Carnifax

 

Posted

This is the second chapter of Creature. Chapter one can be found here.

Once again all feedback is welcomed, encouraged and may very well influence my decisions on how the story pans out so please feel free to post away



Creature
A Marvellous Family Story

Chapter Two

The police finished cordoning off the crime scene as the couple arrived. They were greeted by a local officer, showed there ID and entered the house.

“It’s all yours.” Said the officer, his accent a thick Bronx drone. “Anything you need you just let us know OK? Oh and,” He tilted his head towards them. “I really hope you find your daughter.”

Entering the house the couple saw the outline of the body on the floor. There was a pool of blood on the carpet, supposedly made by a knife and furniture and papers upturned and scattered around.

“I’m not sure we’ll find anything here.” This was the first time Matt had heard Mel talk this way. It shocked him but he could understand. The loss of their daughter had hit both of them very hard. There was nothing either of them wanted more than to find her.

“What’s that?” Matt motioned towards the screen door. It was buckled, not fitting the frame properly and scratch marks could clearly be seen. Mel opened the door. The marks continued outside.

“You think this is how he got in, don’t you?”

“Possibly,” He ran down the steps to the lawn. “Come and have a look at this.” The back yard led to a large, wooden fence, the corner of which had been broken leaving a hole big enough for a man to crawl through. Mel had already leapt the high fence as Mat was examining the hole.

“Here!” Mel’s call drew Matt’s attention away from the hole. He looked through it to see his wife standing over an open manhole. “I’m going to take a look.” She said as she dropped down the shaft. Matt squeezed through the gap and followed her down.

“So, it came up from the sewers.” Said Matt.

“More than came up.” Mel was stooped over something a short distance ahead. “I think it’s using them to get around.” She held up something. Around it was a dark, smoky aura, the same as was surrounding the creature.

“What is it?” Matt took the object off Mel.

“Looks like a piece of cloth, feels a little like leather.” Mel said as Matt stretched it between his hands.

“It’s slippery too, pliant and stretchy.” Mel was pulling out an evidence bag and Matt slipped the object inside. “Of course it could be its skin.”

“You think it’s shedding?” said Mel; the sarcastic tones did not go unnoticed.

*

There are some things that every junior detective knows, either from reading there ‘my little crime fighter’ pocket books or from episodes of Batman or Dick Tracy. Every junior detective knows for example, the power of fingerprints. They are well aware of the possible uses of the magnifying glass. The mysteries of invisible ink are considered of highest importance for them.

Every junior detective knows to carry a flashlight. It was a lesson well learned by both Matt and Mel as they made there way along the sewer passages.

“I think it went that way.” Matt shone his torch to the left revealing more of the smoking substance. “You know, you might have been right about it malting. We’re seeing more of this stuff.” Bits of smoking substance could clearly be seen lining the walls of the tunnel.

“Look down there.” Mel had shone her torch over to one corner of the passageway to show a bundle of sticks and accoutrements piled up into a makeshift bed. “What’s it doing here, nesting?”

“And it looks like he’s been here for a while too.” Mel moved towards the bundle and Matt added his beam of light to hers.

Without warning the creature pounced from under the pile. This time there was no smoke. This time it’s emaciated frame was clearly visible, it’s glowing red eyes burning in the darkness. Mel screamed in shock and dropped her torch. Matt, surprised, but this time not caught off guard, punched the creature squarely in the jaw. It went down but got straight back up again, making a run for Matt’s stomach. With all the force of before it connected and they both crashed into the curved wall of the sewer. The creature sped off and the couple, quickly recovering from the incident, gave chase.

Running through the sewers, the creature made for the light. The shafts of florescence were barely detectable in the gloom but they were there and the creature seamed to feed off them as it’s pace increased. It could hear the hunter and the hunter behind him and this time it was scared. It needed to feed. Then it would be strong again and could take on its nemesis once and for all.

Matt and Mel rounded the last corner to see the creature zip out of the manhole and onto the street outside. Whilst they had been down in the tunnels day had turned into night. Emerging onto the street, Matt ran off and gestured to Mel to do the same.

“Split up!” He called to her, giving chase to the fleeing monster.

“Oh, yeah,” She called back to him. “‘Cause that worked so well last time!” But she set off anyway, attempting to circle round behind.

Matt ran on through the streets. All the time he could see the trail of the monster in front of him. Wisps of smoke were visible every now and then but it was nothing like the ferocity of his murky cloak of the night before.

All of a sudden the trail petered out. Matt stopped. He was in good shape and the long run had not done him any harm. Matt could run for hours without getting tired, something that his father tried to exploit when he was younger.

He looked around every corner. He checked inside every dustbin. He found nothing. He gave up.

Turning away from his pursuit, he set off to where Mel would be waiting for him. He heard a clatter above him and looked up just in time to see the creature bearing down on him like the ubiquitous bat out of hell.

The world went black.

To be continued...


 

Posted

Its coming along nicely, your action pacing is really well written.

Just a quick note, its safe to assume their daughter has gone missing but due to number of time mentioned since chapter one maybe a quick explanation should be incorporated somewhere in this chapter to kind of give a higher sense of loss and give that connection to the characters.

Nice cliff hanger can't wait to read the next bit.

Keep up the good work buddy…


 

Posted

Thank you for your comments

I didn't want to fill it with references to there daughter but I take your point. Next chapter however you might find out what happened to her

Of course at some point she's going to be in the stoy and I expect alot will come out then.


 

Posted

Nice. I can really visualise the action well the way you write it.

Can't wait for more.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Nice. I can really visualise the action well the way you write it.

Can't wait for more.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you very much I am realy enjoying writing these. Not only is it fun but since gettting Mr and Miss to 50 we don't use them much so it's nice to be able to revisit them this way. See, your character does have a life after 50