Blast Burn origin story.

I wrote this earlier, tell me what you think.

Blast Burn – Origin

Tim opened his eyes, lying on the shimmering steel table. He looked from left to right, frantically, desperately, hopelessly.
“H-hello? Is anyone there?” he whispered in his low trembling voice.
His only reply was the buzzing of lab equipment, from what he could see in the dark void there were lots of monitors, but too far away to read anything. There were tools, lots of them, glimmering from the little light there was, as if whispering threateningly into the depths of Tim’s body. Nervously he ascended from the freezing metallic form of the table, edging closer to what he thought was the door, closer, there was someone outside, should he burst out and run? Blood pulsing he charged at the door, and then, nothing.

“BlackDragon, it’s Azuria. Look we need your help, a top technological scientist has been kidnapped! He recently designed a new weapon and we suspect he is in the hands of Arachnos. He must be recovered, according to Longbow the weapon is very valuable.”
Her words rang in his mind as he teleported from place to place, dashing to the aid of this scientist.
“I wonder what this weapon is he’s designed, clearly of great potential if Arachnos are so interested in it, I must get there quickly!” he thought to himself from under his mighty horned helmet.

An agonising wail burrowed through the hallways of the base, Drake Valandil adored the immense pain he was putting his latest victim through. His wild grey eyes adding the final touches to the body of the weapon.
“An incredible design,” he thought wondrously “unfortunate he didn’t offer the plans to us straight up, he would have been dearly rewarded.”
“Mystics! Keep that head alive! If it dies then you’ll have more than me to deal with!” he spat venomously at the mages.

Tim had given up screaming, the pain alone was too much. His head, severed from his body was suspended in mid-air, not being allowed the final peace it deserved. A humanoid figure was being moved towards him, a familiar figure, his creation, Blast Burn.

BlackDragon burst into the base, his blade drawn. It is needless to say that the guards were easily disposed of. Cloaking himself in darkness, he pursued his mission.
“…the weapon is very valuable.”
The words filled his mind, curiosity, greed, power. He fought these desires, it was his mission to protect the weak. An alarm was sounded, the unconscious guards had been found!

Tim lay in his force fielded prison, attempting to use the power now granted to him. The hate welled up inside him, filling his mind, his soul. If only he could use his power, he could break free. His mind focused, his rage pulsing through his new body he roared.

The base shook, an explosion, the dark armoured knight sprinted through the corridors. Someone was on their knees, exhausted, could it be him? Then a man with jet black hair appeared, a high cold laugh, a rifle in his hand he took aim at the traumatised lump before him.

Drake Valandil was standing over his latest experiment, the defining grey eyes glistened delightfully at the thought of torturing Mr. Stevens even more. He took aim, but then he found himself limp. He was drained, he fell to the ground, writhing, covered in shadow.

Tim saw nothing but darkness through the visor, something paced towards him, black and red, tall, towering, it was going to kill him! He crawled away, yearning for energy, the horned shadow advanced menacingly. And then, slumped against the wall, he gave up, it was over.

Nice storyline mate, I little too descriptive for the young ones, but then again do any of the young ones read stories?

I think I got most of it anyway. Again, nice job, keep it up.

Compared to most people on the boards I could be called one of the 'young ones' as I'm only 15. Thanks for the comment .

Sssh, you're not actually allowed to play CoV at that age...

Anyway, nicely done - just two details... firstly, Azuria wouldn't be involved in that affair - she works with M.A.G.I, and this deal would more likely fall under D.A.T.A's perview, or possibly S.E.R.A.P.H... I don't remember who DATA's manager is, but SERAPH's run by the illustrious Jonathan St. John Smythe. (Gotta love that name...)

Secondly, you should tag something more on the end, it's kinda of a cliffhanger for those who don't know us...