Origins
Okay, not to be harsh, but having read this, I hope I can give you a few pointers that may help improve your writing;
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Name: Alexander Night
Occupation: Peregrine Island
Job: Portal Corporation researcher
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I think instead of occupation, you mean location ? For Occupation and Job are one and the same thing. What you are writing now, means that your job is to be the island. :-)
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It was early morning when Alexander woke up. He made himself breakfast as he did always, he dressed up and went out. When he left his apartament building, he saw two heroes fighting some Nemesis troops, he always liked heroes and their way of "clearing up" the city. It was still early morning when he came to Portal Corp. main building. All people he saw were few security guards. As always he went to the main portal room and started to look at the data that came to the main computer over night time.
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You've used the word 'always' about 3 or 4 times, nearly in every phrase. Try to write it with a little more colour. The usual rule of 'show not tell' applies here. Trust me, many a writer has fallen prey to it, myself included. But for example, you could perhaps consider the following;
It was early morning when Alexander awoke, just after dawn. He got up, and as per usual, made himself some cereal for breakfast before popping into the shower. Once dressed, he checked quickly that he had all his belongings for the day, and left the apartment. On his way to his work, he spotted a couple of heroes engaged in combat with some Nemesis. He stopped in his tracks to watch from a safe distance with a certain awe. Since he had been a young boy, he had liked heroes and the way they cleaned up the city.
But he couldnt spare much time, for he had to be at work on time, and with a soft sigh, Alexander made his way over to the Portal Corp. building. Since it was still relatively early, the only people he came across were a few security guards. He greeted them with a nod and made for Portal Room 4 for his routine tasks over overlooking the data that came in to the main computer over night.
This is just an example.
Also, you say he ends up in Atlas. How did he get there? What kind of costume did he make, how long did it take him, what was his plan of operation?
Try to think as your character, see what they see, use details to make your story come alive.
I hope this helps you.
Name: Alexander Night
Occupation: Peregrine Island
Job: Portal Corporation researcher
It was early morning when Alexander woke up. He made himself breakfast as he did always, he dressed up and went out. When he left his apartament building, he saw two heroes fighting some Nemesis troops, he always liked heroes and their way of "clearing up" the city. It was still early morning when he came to Portal Corp. main building. All people he saw were few security guards. As always he went to the main portal room and started to look at the data that came to the main computer over night time. He didn't expect to see anything unusual, he was working in Portal Corp. for over a year now, and all he found in the multiverse was a portal to an old warehouse where Skulls had one of their bases. That morning he saw some anomaly in the data. He verified the data three times before he believed it. What he saw on the printout were coordinates of a new dimension. He decided that he could get promotion he needed soo much if he would discover a new dimension by himself. He took the printout, deleted the coordinates from computer and ran into the portal room. He put in the coordinates to portal computer and turned it on. The portal started to turn on as Alexander waited impatiently. When the portal finally opened a door into unknown dimension, Alexander saw a dark place full of demolished buildings. There were destroyed cars and crashed military tanks on streets. He couldn't see anyone. Then suddenly, dark tentacles came through portal, caught Alexander and started to glow in light white color. Alexander quickly turned off the portal, and the tentacles were cut off. They fell on floor wriggling, and slowly disappeared. Alexander wanted to check if he was ok, but as he leaned on the portal to catch a breath, the portal started to cover in darkness, and as Alexander came away from it, its parts fell apart. Alexander quickly ran out of portal room and then back to his apartament. He didn't know what happened to him, he fell tired and went to sleep. The next day, he woke up, and felt strange. He was still sleepy, and tried to turn on TV to see if his recent accident in Portal Corp. made it to the news. He tried pressing the switch from his bed, but he couldn't reach it. As he tried, the switch suddenly was enveloped in darkness and pressed itself so the TV turned on. Alexander didn't know how that happened, but as he had clear mind, he started to think logically. He figured that his yestrday's incident gave him new abilities. It was as if his dream came true, he could join the legions of heroes and save Paragon City.
-In Atlas Park:
He made himself a costume and went on street to try out his new powers. He saw a group of Hellions on street. He enveloped one of thugs with darkness so he couldn't move, and he blasted second one with blasts of negative energy. After short time, both thugs were teleported to prision. He liked the job of a hero, and went to Atlas Park City Hall to start a life of a hero. He filled out a chart and was accepted to become a hero, all he had to do was reserve a name. He tried many different names, but all were reserved already. Finally he tried "Night Watcher", but that was reserved also. He was outta ideas, so he wrote:
"Night Wacher". The computer asked if he wanted to be called like this, Alexander answered yes, and since he couldn't find a better name than Night Watcher that would suit him, he decided to be called Night Wacher, because it sounds the same, and it wasn't reserved. From that time Alexander is known as Night Wacher, a hero in Paragon City.