Hmm, I think I once worked with a 'Walter'.
Waiting for the next one.
[ QUOTE ]
Clearly “soon” meant something entirely different to the Paragon civil service than the common dictionary definition.
[/ QUOTE ]
That alone would be worth stars. That plus Walter is spoiling us.
I'm loving these, especially if they're going to be 2 a week. Kudos
made me chuckle, i should swing by more often 
Plight
I'm glad you liked it.
Part 4 will be posted this evening
(\_/)
(O.O) Bunny: Our time is coming
(> <)
I love you. Can I have your kittens?
Don't ask me about joining Honourable United, I'm lazy. Ask Captain Cathode.
http://www.onthejazz.co.uk/honu/
"If I had a punch, I would so hit that guy." - Millenium (because drinking nail varnish remover is for real men)
Another good story Innigo 
Contact Information!
Twitter: @TonyParkeze
Facebook: www.facebook.com/anthonyjp91
Email: anthonyjp91@gmail.com
From now on all installments will come out on Mondays and Thursdays and for those of you wondering when N00b is actuallt going to get around to some actual heroing... not this episode I'm afraid, but it's coming
Part 3
N00b paced the polished floor of city hall with ever increasing impatience. Hed filled out the forms theyd handed him. Hed submitted all the material hed been asked to bring proving he was who he said his was; which these days involved a birth certificate, drivers license, passport and his social security card. Then hed been fingerprinted and a sample of his blood had been taken for a DNA comparison.
All that had been two hours ago and had been concluded with an assurance that someone would be with him soon. Clearly soon meant something entirely different to the Paragon civil service than the common dictionary definition.
City hall bustled with activity. In addition to the dozen or so heroes cooling their heels as they waited for their hero license application to be processed, others came and went every few minutes, passing through the main hall and down into a corridor marked New Hero assignment. A few glanced in the way of the new recruits but none paused to talk.
In addition were the less heroic and certainly more conservatively attired civil servants, the cogs and gears in the machine of city government. They hurried about giving the finely crafted illusion of efficiency but they seemed to do little more than walk between offices. N00b watched them bustle aimlessly with growing contempt as he continued his own impatient pacing pausing every once in a while to dig part of his costume out of the cleft of his buttocks and as each of the other heroes was called in so N00bs frustration grew?
Until finally.
Mr N00b?
So intent on his own annoyance his name being called didnt register the first time, or even the second. Finally a small bespectacled man stepped directly into his path.
Mr N00b? the little man repeated.
Yes? snapped N00b.
I can see you now.
N00b was led through a door to the side of the information desk and through a short corridor lined with offices. He glanced through the window in one of the doors as he passed. Inside a gaudily attired hero was sitting across a desk from a suited man similar to the one that N00b was following. The next office was a similar scene.
He was shown into an identical room, devoid of anything not purely functional and decorated, presumably, right after theyd done the hospital and discovered theyd ordered too much paint. N00b took a seat and the small man took the seat opposite. As he did so N00b noticed a small badge on his lapel. It said Hi, Im Walter. How can I help you? and was underscored with three small stars. There were holes where two more stars could be plugged in at a later date.
Walter flicked through the file hed been carrying, grunting occasionally but otherwise silent. N00b did his best to wait patiently and after just under three minutes failed miserably.
Is everything in order? N00b demanded.
Walter didnt react immediately, not vocally at least. He did however very deliberately turn to the next page in the file and furrowed his brow as if discovering something that wasnt in order.
The seconds ticked by until N00b couldnt stand it anymore. I said
Yes Mr N00b, I heard what you said, said Walter in a soft but compelling voice. Ill be with you momentarily.
More time passed and N00b suddenly realised his bladder was making its presence felt with a certain sense of urgency. That wasnt good. If wearing his costume he liked plenty of notice, it took over ten minutes to undo enough of it to perform any bodily function. He was contemplating asking Walter for a toilet break when the other man suddenly closed the file and looked up at him.
Everything seems to be in order, he said with a cool smile.
So thats it? Im a Paragon hero? asked N00b all his anger and frustration instantly forgotten.
Well not quite yet, Walter replied. You still have to report to the hospital for a full medical check and once youve been given a clean bill of health come back here and well take some photos and print up your I.D. card. Then youll be a recognised hero.
It came surging back in a moment, rage seethed just below the surface and N00b had to fight to keep it in check. How long will all that take? he managed.
Three, maybe four hours.
Ive been waiting around for over two hours already! N00b exploded. And Ill bet you keep every other hero who comes to the city hanging around as well.
Theres procedure to follow.
Ill bet. Procedures people like you dreamed up to make sure you could feel important. Out there, he pointed at a bare patch of wall which, had N00b designed the building, should have had a window, people are suffering and dying while you and your kind keep us locked in here going through your all important procedures. Just want us to know that while you might not be able to do anything about the crime running rampant in the city youre more important than the people who can do something about it.
Walter appeared entirely unruffled by the outburst although N00bs file was back in his hand, almost as if by magic. He flicked through it idly until he came across something of apparent interest.
He fixed N00b with an altogether too familiar stare and said, Tell me about the burning building.
The fire of rage was almost immediately snuffed by a tidal wave of guilt. The burning building? asked N00b doubtfully. Im not sure what youre talking about.
Oh you remember, Walter challenged. It says here in your in section E4 miscellaneous heroic deeds in your application form which you, yourself filled out that you saved a woman from certain death at the hands of a raging inferno. I, of course, am using your words here. The civil servant glared back at N00b and he felt himself withering. It was the same glare his mother used when he lied about brushing his teeth before bedtime.
Uh, yeah, that, said N00b hesitantly. What about it?
We check these things out Mr N00b and found no record of a fire having occurred within your home town on the dates you gave in you application.
Maybe I got the dates wrong, N00b offered.
Nor of any fire of any note for the last seven years, Walter continued, his voice has hard as his unwavering stare. The last serious fire was an asbestos factory which the fire brigade managed to handle without any civilian interference.
N00b wilted under the ferocity of the stare. Interrogators often shone bright lights into the eyes of those they were questioning. Had it been pointed at Walter the light bulb would have popped.
Em...
Yes? whispered Walter putting his glare into high beam?
It was cat, said N00b mournfully, despite his best effort to resist.
And the house?
It was more of a tree.
And
No, it wasnt on fire! lamented N00b.
I see, said Walter ominously and dropped his gaze back to N00bs file. After a few moments of silence he spoke again, Of course prior hero experience isnt required to attain hero status here in Paragon.
N00b straightened his shoulders as he realised Walter was right. It had said as much in the application form. So he hadnt rescued anyone from a burning building, so what? Most heroes hadnt done anything noteworthy in heroic terms before coming to Paragon. That was why they came to Paragon in the first place, to test their skills and abilities.
Walter watched the hero intently, watched the hope blossom behind the other mans eyes before moving in for kill. However, lying on your application form is sufficient to have you barred from getting your hero license in Paragon for life, said the civil servant with almost innocent menace.
N00b slumped again, his defeat in the battle of wills was almost at hand and he knew it. It was an all too familiar scenario.
So, will you report for your medical or shall we discuss item two in section E4 how you, single handed, broke the back of an international crime cartel.
Im going, said N00b and fled the office.
Walter closed the file and allowed himself a slight chuckle. There was a reason that heroes, despite all their power and determination, werent running the city.
(\_/)
(O.O) Bunny: Our time is coming
(> <)