I want to "get" grav
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I'll concede there's a lot a talented grav controller with an understanding team can do in particular circumstances, especially in theory.
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If by 'understanding' team you mean 'not utterly clueless and willing to listen/work together', agreed.
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Wormhole doesn't in my experience place spawns right where you want them safely.
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It does in mine. All it takes is a little experience with the power - pick your target, duck out of LoS around a corner or two, fire the spawn into a nice clump directly into the corner. The only times it's ever failed me have been when running flashbacks with the 'no enhancers' challenge setting so I've missed quite a few mobs, but that's an extreme case.
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Tanking psi AV's - ya, that I'll believe after I see it, and I'll believe it's not a fluke after seeing it a lot.
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Malaise and Mother Mayhem, several times each. Being a /Rad and specced into the Psi epic helps, of course.
A grav/kin was my first 50, after 3 years of playing an near-endless altitus.
How grav/kin works:
You get four single-target attacks, allowing you to take down bosses and lieutenants fairly quickly, and moderate AoE damage by spamming a Crushing Field slotted for acc/dam/rech+procs.
You get graphic effects you (and your teammates) can see through, which is very handy in caves and building maps. You get a pet that'll keep you safe, who will hold your foes while you're held. If you run into a room and didn't see the critters hiding right inside the door, Singy will begin Lifting, repelling, and holding them, while you take care of whatever had your attention when you entered. You can even stand *inside* singy to keep those pesky DE swarms off you.
When one spawn is nearly defeated, you can grab another from across the room and put them down in front of yourself or your team and save yourself walking time. In multi-level rooms, you can pull spawns down from the upper levels and put them on top of the tank or the debuff patches everyone else created.
It's a controller set that looks and acts just a little differently than the others. What is there to get?
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Grav's been one I've wanted to like but I've never been able to grasp a reliable use for it outside of ticking off your own team.
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Trapping spawns inside a knockdown zone (and keeping them flopping)? Pulling spawns and placing them exactly where you want them, in total safety? (For bonus giggles, combine the two - have your teammates set up their Tar/Oil/Ice/Earthquake/etc. patch in advance, then drop an entire spawn onto it and lock them in place). Tanking psi AVs while the Invuln/ tanker makes the run back from the hospital again?
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I'll concede there's a lot a talented grav controller with an understanding team can do in particular circumstances, especially in theory.
However - Knockdown zones do a pretty good job of keeping the targets in them themselves, unless your team knocks them out - which grav can't do much to prevent, unlike the sets with an AOE immobilize that does cause the knockback resistance. So it's a trade in utility and while I can appreciate what grav does get that way, I'm more impressed with what it loses overall.
Wormhole doesn't in my experience place spawns right where you want them safely. It routinely scatters plenty, misses others, and faceplants the grav controller/dominator. I've seen exceptions to that - they're in the minority.
Tanking psi AV's - ya, that I'll believe after I see it, and I'll believe it's not a fluke after seeing it a lot.
I've seen some very good grav controllers doing as well as typical controllers in different and intriguing ways, so there's a temptation. But that's not yet enough of an endorsement for me to try it again.