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I saw that whole post before you pulled it. If I wanted to be a jerk I could go back a bit and repost it, but I won't.
Chill out, dude. Very few authors manage to make a good arc on their first try. I'm sure that if you ask anyone here who got a good review they'll admit that their arc went through a lot of rewrites and modifications before they got to be anywhere near "good".
Just remember that you came and asked for feedback and you got feedback. What you do with it is up to you.
Anyhow, only one ambush ever had dialog and that's the one on Dr. Kindred. The one on the Refrigerator had no dialog. Also as for ambushes in the Ruludak caves, those can spawn so far away that you are out of range for the dialog and they seem to come out of nowhere in that fog.
There is very, very rarely a good reason to use that Ruludak map. This story definitely didn't justify it's inclusion, it only made an annoying mission even more annoying.
Arc: Quoth the Raven
Arc ID: 74617
Author: @Sroxah
Number of Missions: 4
Description: When the Rikti attack the offices of a brilliant evil genius, you are called to help. What is the meaning of the mysterious sudden attack, and why are the Rikti involved? All these questions and more are answered in the tale known as: Quoth the Raven.
Notes: There is an AV in the final mission. If it's too difficult, and if he isn't already with you, there is an EB ally that spawns on the map at the same time as the AV to help.
It's my first arc, so any constructive criticism that can help me make future arcs better is appreciated. (As are any suggestions on improving this one.)
I think negativly of my self.
Praise is uplifting but brushed off.
Negatives just comferm what I feel.
I honestly do think I have an inferirioty complex.
Critisim eather ticks me off or makes me want to quit...
honestly... righ tnow I just want to quit trying. All I can imagion is one sucky review after another, that nothign good will come.
YEah... i'm just going go play.
Nice work on your own arcs... Wont' waste any more of yours or anyone elses time.
[ QUOTE ]
I think negativly of my self.
Praise is uplifting but brushed off.
Negatives just comferm what I feel.
I honestly do think I have an inferirioty complex.
Critisim eather ticks me off or makes me want to quit...
honestly... righ tnow I just want to quit trying. All I can imagion is one sucky review after another, that nothign good will come.
YEah... i'm just going go play.
Nice work on your own arcs... Wont' waste any more of yours or anyone elses time.
[/ QUOTE ]
I'm sorry, but as someone who tries to write semi-professionally in the theatre, and who has spent a lot of time writing at the amateur level, if you have a low-enough self image that criticism destroys your world, you should not be submitting your work for review. You may honestly want to reconsider submitting it for play at all, but if you can ignore the feedback coming in, no one minds a few extra arcs up there.
I mean that as advice, not criticism, not everyone has the stomach for exposition, and you are being exposed here.
That said, some of the reviews, and all reviewers are guilty, have come close (just close) to being insults, I chalk that up to the fact that these reviewers are amateur as well. I think all arc authors would do well to do the same.
I'm going to finish this day with a double-feature. First a review that was requested, and then another that was not but of which I want to share with you anyway.
Arc ID: 75386
Arc Name: The Knights of Rularuu
Length: 4 missions
Author: @Vanden
Synopsis: Who would've thought that one of those endless Malta missions would turn up something like this? (1 AV, not recommended for weak soloists)
Rating: *****
================================
Character used: Vikki Vandale, Level 50 War Mace/Willpower Brute
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 50
================================
Mission 1:
Already warned by the description, I grabbed my usual EB killer character and went to meet Justice-Guy.
Already I like him, he recognizes me a big "hero" right away and wants my help. After mocking Crimson and Indigo without mentioning them by name, he askes me for some help again the Malta Group. He has two bases to deal with and wants to save some time.
Justice-Guy lets me know that he's going to clear out one base while I take the other. I used a similar set-up in Portal Bandits, I like seeing it used by others and it makes more sense than a hero just sending you on errands. He also says there will be another hero to give me a hand. Let's do this!
I also liked the little lampshading in the mission blurb about how Justice-Guy called me bro despite Vikki being a girl.
I find Serras, the ally, right in the front room, but oddly she runs off out the front door rather than helping me, saying that she senses that Justice-Guy is in trouble. Hmm...
I found the data files and went to look for the base commander. Along the way I found something even more odd, a friendly Carnie Ring Mistress who Serra somehow sent to help me. Interesting.
Boy, Web Green 2-9-3 likes to shout. Anyway, I take him out while he mentions something about Site 421.
Some more amusing dialog from Justice-Guy and then it's off to the next mission.
Mission 2:
Justice-Guy is going to raid another Malta base and he doesn't think he can do this one alone, so he asks me to come along. I agree and we're off.
I quickly find Justice-Guy in the first room having a standoff with some Malta, as well as Rularuu killing Malta in their own base. We're off to find out what's going on here!
The Malta leader provides no info other than trying to run and abandon the base, but I come across something new, a Rularuu Obliterator. He seems to want to escape the base, making me wonder how he got here to begin with.
Searching a computer terminal reveals that Malta was doing portal experiments, ahhh...
Mission 3:
Portal Corp investigates and finds that Malta somehow opened a portal to a part of the Shadow Shard that normally cannot be reached. A large number of human natives were also found in there and I've been asked to help get them out. Sure, why not?
How hard can it be? Pretty easy in this case.
Justice-Guy is going to take one location while I handle another. The mission is a straightforward rescue of 5 hostages in a cave map (the nicer kind of cave you see in the Shadow Shard), one of whom tells me something about "The Bane". This map has a few more of the new Rularuu too, I rather like their designs, even if they are more humanoid than the regular Rularuu.
So apparently the Bane is a general of Rularuu and was trapped in his own little section of the Shadow Shard along with his troops.
Mission 4:
Rularuu have invaded that Malta base again and this time it looks like Bane came with them. Off to save the world, again!
The moment I enter I find Serras being held captive and free her. This time she decides to hang around (nice since she's Emp/Psi) and around the corner I find Justice-Guy. Having these two rather makes combat more frantic as they aggro and drag you around, but I don't mind being on a Brute. I need the Fury anyway.
Unfortunatley, they are both LT rank so quickly I found I had to rein them both in. We rescued a scientist who told us that we needed to activate the dimensional stabilizers inside the lab and that there was one other scientist further inside.
Kind of odd by the way that this is supposed to be the same lab yet is a different map entirely. I guess it was bigger than I had thought.
We find the second scientist who tells us something bad. Bane didn't just come through the portal, he made it even larger and now it's self-sustaining. He's ripped a whole right through the dimensions. Oh boy.
I'm disappointed that I don't see more of these new Rularuu, maybe the custom group can be reweighed somehow to make them more common.
On the third floor we find Bane, standing right by the control console for the dimensional stabilizer. This guy has the looks that match his name for sure.
I also see that he is Axe/Shield. I hope he's not Extreme/Extreme too like in my previous review, I may have backup this time but they're not very sturdy backup.
Yep, he appears to have Extreme Shield Defense and my two allies were killed 5 seconds into the battle. So begins the clash of the titan and the world's smallest troll. After a lengthy battle Bane drops and I run over to the console, activate the dimesional stabilizers and purge the Rularuu from the lab.
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The Verdict:
So far Vanden is 2 for 2. There is not much that can be found to be wrong in this arc, and it does provide some interesting surprises. I would have liked to have seen more of the Bane Rularuu, maybe the group can be weighed to provide more of them as they were a bit uncommon for an arc that was featuring them so heavily. The allies provided were nice and helpful, but in the last mission I'd recommend making them Bosses. In my experience LT allies in EB fights are so flimsy as to be almost useless. Considering how long it took to kill Bane, I don't think two boss allies would be overpowering. I'm sure less sturdy players would appreciate it as well. 5-stars.
Arc ID: 41565
Arc Title: Astoria in D Minor
Author: @The Cheshire Cat
Description: A mother with a lost daughter. An alien investigating fascists. A disturbed hero trying to save people any way he can. Dark Astoria makes you question what you're willing to do to survive. 20-29, horror arc. Solo Friendly. Note: In mission 4, that's not a bug. You'll know what I mean.
Rating: *****
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Character used: Zetsumei Mitsukai, Level 50 Dual Blades/Dark Armor Scrapper
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 29
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Mission 1:
I've always liked Dark Astoria, even if it's the poor-man's Silent Hill. That zone just had atmosphere and style, shame the Devs seem to have forgotten about it.
So when I saw an arc set in that zone, I just had to try it. The contact is a two-way radio, assumedly found in the street inside the zone. A woman on the other end calls for help, her daughter is missing and she's trapped at 121 Romero Street. I'm on my way.
I enter the building, which is surprisingly clean looking. I assume that this arc takes place right when the "event" happened and the zombies arrived. I find Irene Benson in the first room, surrounded by zombies and trying to hold them off with a revolver. (Nice use of the Amanda Vines model, the headset is a nice touch.) She flees after telling me about her daughter and giving me a photo of the girl.
The objective tells me to find the security computer and see if I can find the girl in the footage. I go off to search for it. It's right up the stairs and upon using it I find that there is another hero in the building, one who looks like a Warshade.
(Slight nitpick, but maybe irrelevant. If this story takes place right when Astoria turned into Dark Astoria, like I'm assuming, then that means it takes place well before Peacebringers and Warshades became known to the public.)
I fight past a number of Banished Pantheon and come across some Unusually Small Zombies. Yes, that's what they were called and boy were they small.
I find the Hero at the end of the office map, his name is Event Horizon and he's surrounded by Pantheon and Council. I free him and he tells me that he doesn't know anything about the girl but knows someone who may be able to help and askes for me to accompany him to the exit.
(Now his description says that he is here to investigate Council activity in Dark Astoria. If it's already called that then it's been Dark for some time, so shouldn't this be an Abandoned Office map?)
Now it's really unfortunate that Warshades aren't actually in the Mission Architect, and it means that Event Horizon cannot help me at all when I get ambushed by Council on the way out. Interestingly, the Council Commander says "The warshade can get us out of Dark Astoria!"
I ran into another Council Commander near the exit who said the same things. Maybe change their dialog so they have different lines?
Anyhow, I get Event Horizon out and he refers me to his contact, Schism. Time to pay him a visit.
(I hope that Event Horizon is a placeholder for when Warshades do get added, the escort doesn't add much to the mission right now.)
Mission 2:
Now this map fits Dark Astoria, the Mother Mayhem Hospital. I find Schism at the door, fighting zombies. After helping him out, he offers to help me find Haley Benson but only after I help him search the hospital for survivors (7 of them).
Schism is aggressive and disturbing. How many heroes do you know who wear blood-stained shirts and barbed wire?
The search doesn't start out good when I find a bodybag only 10 feet from where Schism was. Fortunately the next person we come across is alive and does mention seeing a little girl somewhere inside the hospital.
Soon I find all 7 surivors, although some didn't survive, and Haley as well. Both Schism and I lead the young girl out. Of course she runs right off into the fog, calling for her mother and we lose sight of her.
Mission 3:
I get on the radio again and Irene tells me she is nowhere near me and that Haley could not possibly have seen her and run off to meet her. She then tells me to find her and Event Horizon as well as he has something important to tell me.
I follow Haley to a nearby graveyard, nicely filled with Pantheon, and search for her.
This mission starts to get annoying. I did a search tabbing for allies, find no trace of her. I try looking for a boss but find dozens, all with the same names (Ritual Leader, Dig Leader). And they all have the same dialog as well.
Eventually I find a body bag down in the trench area. It's Haley, and the wounds were not made by zombies...
I find Schism, now hostile and accompanied by Pantheon. I take down the insane hero while he rambles about saving people from fate.
Mission 4:
I give Irene the bad news over the radio, but she drops her radio and vanishes. Still in the cemetery, I decide to investigate a nearby mausoleum that was not open before...
Ack, it's the Ruludak cave. At least this time it's rather justified, with being entered from a cemetary and the entry blurb printed in a rather foreign yet evil looking text. It really looks like a descent into hell right now. Lots of Pantheon hanging out down here.
Partway through the cave I run into some more of that "black speech" and know I'm coming upon something. Seems it's a battle I missed and according to the NPC Dialog tab it was between Pantheon and Coralax. Interesting.
A little further in I run into a creature called "The Great Clown", who looks like Schism, only even more disturbing. During the battle he claims that I not only killed him, but Haley as well.
Next I come to "The Great Herald", a demonic version of Irene Benson. She tells me of something coming, that will make angels of us all.
More black speech up ahead. Finally I come to the big room at the end of this tunnel. In the center of it is...a phone. Also there is a portable lab, that gives me a message that invokes more Silent Hill feelings.
Unable to click on the phone, I destroy it. Upon which I get a message...from my own answering machine. It's Event Horizon, trying to get a hold of me and telling me to get Irene and Haley out and... It's best if you read it for yourself.
Mission 5:
With no idea of what had just happened, I leave the mausoleum and find the radio. I get a call from Event Horizon. He heard my report on what happened with Haley and Schism, and tells me that he needs to meet me and tell me that thing I was supposed to hear from him 2 missions ago.
I don't like the sound of the send off message, "You will understand what you have become."
The same office as mission one, and a entry blurb mentioning how it never occurred to me before how nice this building looked compared to the rest of Dark Astoria.
This time the building is filled with civilians, armed with rifles and anything they could improvise. They and the PPD were fighting zombies, shouting to keep them away from the children. Then they attack me.
The weird thing is when they see me, shout "Hey, a hero! Over here!" Then attack me while asking why I'm attacking them when they attacked first.
Finally I find Event Horizon, in Black Dwarf form this time. He attacks and as I fight him and he talks about how I now see monsters as people and people as monsters and... well he stops talking when I am forced to kill him.
After leaving I try the radio one last time, only to get that gives me that message from the cave, over and over and over and over...
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The Verdict:
I can tell a lot of players will have a hard time swallowing that ending. At least now a few things make sense, like how shiny the office building was at the beginning, though I think it might add a bit more to the effect if the building was abandoned and ruined in mission 1 and then all intact and clean in mission 5. The civilians dialog maybe could make a bit more sense, but I'm not quite clear if they saw me as I see myself, or as something else. As for the Unusually Small Zombies...
A five star rating from me doesn't mean perfection, but it does mean that I highly recommend that others play it. 5 stars it is.
Thanks for the review! A few things:
-I did not even remember the headset when I picked the Amanda Vines model. Now that it's pointed out I feel silly saying it was just accidental.
-Event Horizon WAS originally meant to be an NPC that helped you, rather than just a plain escort, right up until the point I found out that you can't make warshades in MA. So yeah, he is a placeholder until they allow that.
-I was planning to change the repeated spawns with similar dialogue (Well, except mission 3 where it would all pretty much be the same anyway). The only trouble is I'm pushing 96% as is so I'm not sure if I have enough room to make some new optional objectives fit.
-The herald is actually meant to be Haley, not Irine, though I can see how you would interpret it as the latter since her costume changes quite a bit and ends up resembling Irine's a lot (The tipoff is meant to be her height). It's not too important though, there's enough vagueness about who they are at all that I'm impressed you managed to pick up on both of them like that (A lot of people I've run it with don't notice at all).
-What exactly is going on in the last mission is meant to be extremely unclear; the point was to evoke a mood of "I can't be doing this/this is extremely uncomfortable" rather than provide any real answers. Event Horizon gives you possibilities, but given that he's not exactly in a healthy mental state it's dubious to take what he says at face value.
-The original plan WAS actually to alternate from a shiny office to an abandoned one (I know you suggested it in reverse, but the reason for this is the shiny "clean" office would give a feeling of artificiality while the abandoned one in the last mission would be what it really looks like), but I dumped the idea for two reasons. Reason #1 is that I don't want to say "They've been people the whole time! PEOPLE!" in the last mission, since I want to leave it open to interpretation and having it push "The illusion is dispelled" too hard would ruin that (Especially because although a lot of people have interpreted it that way, my "canonical" answer isn't actually that you've been killing civilians the whole time). Reason #2 is I couldn't find an abandoned office map with the EXACT same layout as a clean one - it seems trivial to quibble over something like that but when I'm going for something as subtle as "You're in the same place - but it looks different", I think it might confuse people if the building they're now in doesn't exactly resemble the one they were in before (granted confusion is kind of what people feel the whole way through about this arc - but it's confusion over the things I want them to be confused about, not confusion about things that are supposed to be clear).
Astoria in D Minor, a horror arc. Arc ID: 41565 - The Beating Heart of Astoria: A Play in Five Acts. Arc ID: 170547 - Ignition of the Machine, a story with robots. Arc ID: 318983
Captain Skylark Shadowfancy and the Tomorrownauts of Today. Arc ID: 337333 - Signal:Noise, where is everybody? Arc ID: 341194
@The Cheshire Cat - Isn't it enough to know I ruined a pony making a gift for you?
12 second horror stories - a writing experiment.
Captain Skylark Shadowfancy and the Tomorrownauts of Today. Arc ID: 337333 - Signal:Noise, where is everybody? Arc ID: 341194
@The Cheshire Cat - Isn't it enough to know I ruined a pony making a gift for you?
12 second horror stories - a writing experiment.
[ QUOTE ]
The herald is actually meant to be Haley, not Irine, though I can see how you would interpret it as the latter since her costume changes quite a bit and ends up resembling Irine's a lot (The tipoff is meant to be her height).
[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe my perception was messed up in the cave, but I thought she was taller.
[ QUOTE ]
The original plan WAS actually to alternate from a shiny office to an abandoned one (I know you suggested it in reverse, but the reason for this is the shiny "clean" office would give a feeling of artificiality while the abandoned one in the last mission would be what it really looks like),
[/ QUOTE ]
I was wondering if there was a Dark/Light world thing going on like in Silent Hill, where the environment would suddenly get dark and ruined and monsters would appear, only that the office only looked ruined and filled with monsters because of the delusion you were under.
The other possibility I had thought of was that I had become a zombie or monster but still believed I was normal and that was why the people were attacking me. (Like that HP Lovecraft short story where a guy arrives at a party and wonders why people are running and screamed, then finds a mirror and sees that he's become a zombie.) Though in that case it'd make more sense if their dialog made it sound like they saw me as a monster, but clearly they didn't.
Thanks for the review Lazarus! I really appreciate it!
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I would have liked to have seen more of the Bane Rularuu, maybe the group can be weighed to provide more of them as they were a bit uncommon for an arc that was featuring them so heavily.
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I can absolutely do that. In fact, I think I will!
Issue 16 made me feel like this.
Warning: This poster likes to play Devil's Advocate.
Arc: Rave Against the Dying of the Light
Arc ID: 14910
Author: @Inazuma
Number of Missions: 4
Description: Help the Carnival of Light survive against a Praetorian plot! Contains a couple EBs, but you get helpful allies against them, so it should be soloable by anyone. Level range is high 40s, due to all enemies being Praetorians.
Arc: Death to Disco!
Arc ID: 84420
Author: @Wrong Number
Number of Missions: 2
Description: It's 2009; Dr. Disco Fever has somehow altered the timeline so that Disco never died. The Star Spangled Banner is played to a Disco beat! Sporting events start with people standing up and "getting down" for our national anthem. Restore the timeline or be stuck Boogie Oggie-ing forever!
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
Arc: Chocolatier Wars!
Arc ID: 1153
Author: @Electroanagesia
Number of missions: Three
Description: An upset at the World Chocolate Exhibition made European chocolatiers targets for villainy! The one who controls the creative confectionary geniuses controls the Future of Chocolate! Every chocolate lover has a stake in that! (EB in third mission, but an ally to help with it.) SFMA
Maps are medium, small, medium, with two custom groups. King Midas is only out to obtain quality chocolate because he has a big sweet tooth, but to Maestro, whose operation to restore his hearing went wrong, giving him sonic powers but not his sense of hearing, it is a battle for the freedom of chocolate creativity! Chocolate is one of the only great pleasures he has left to sense!
Arc ID: 2922
Arc Title: Hunting the Dark Dragon
Author: @Acid Zero
Description: The Circle of Thorns attempt to bring powerful dragons into this world to aid them against the heroes of Paragon. However, they might get more than they bargained for. In the end, the decision will be yours to make.
Rating: **
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Character used: Kathode, Level 50 Electric Melee/Electric Armor Brute
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 50
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Mission 1:
Ah, Peter Stemitz. I haven't seen him for a long time and the author did do their homework a bit in getting his dialog pretty right. However I never liked this guy, mainly because he hung out in a spot where Nemesis snipers often spawned on the rooftops right above him.
So anyway, Pete tells me that the CoT are summoning dragons. I tell him I'll check it out.
I immediately recognize this map as the Vaults of Mu, after all Kathode is the second villain I have to choose Scirocco as their patron. I also know right away that this mission is going to take a little while. Better get the Fury rolling right away.
I also run into the first dragon right away, who looks rather small and humanoid. Also wears a red shirt and jeans, is named Rynn, and has a biography full of info that somehow I know. I wonder how she gets that shirt on and off with those big wings.
Regardless, the Thorns seem to be just as puzzled as I am. At least Rynn is friendly.
She's also an Elec/Elec Brute and a bit of a leeroy, at least the author had the sense to make her boss-rank.
Next I find another dragon, Office Blake, who is apparently a cop and both Fire Melee and Mind Control. Then I ran into Player, who has Super Strength. What makes him annoying is his use of Handclap.
I also really start wishing a small map had been used. I had already found 3 of the 4 dragons listed and was nowhere near the end yet.
I reached the end and fought Hollister, who was an Archmage of Madness. Even with the three allies he took a while to kill, mostly because of the buggy melee ally AI which made them often stand there and do nothing or take turns fighting. He ranted on about needing dragons to fight "The Dark Dragon" for him.
I also was at the end and missing a dragon, so I had to backtrack. Don't know how I missed him on a map this linear, but back near the beginning I found Pik in a pool of water. He ran off to try and get a cellphone signal, good luck with that buddy.
Turns out that all 4 of the dragons were accidentally summoned from a rock concert, 2 of which were in the band, 1 was a guard, and the last was in the audience. No wonder Archmage Rollister was pissed.
Apparently one of them gave me his guitar, I must have missed that because Pete didn't.
Mission 2:
Now oddly Pete doesn't tell me anything about the 4 dragons after the end of mission 1. Did they get sent home or what? Are they still hanging around? Inquiring minds want to know.
So Pete wants me to get out to Thorn Island in Nerva and check out the Thorn Tree as apparently the Circle like to summon things there as its magic field covers things up, or something. Then suddenly Pete can no longer sense the Thorn Tree (wait, since when could he do that?) and I have to run out and check on it.
Of course if you're a villain, the mission subtitle "Operation Weedkiller" should be a huge giveaway as to what you're going to run into.
Of course it's Malta, and the main reason I brought Kathode. I was in the mood to laugh as Sappers poked their sap-stick at me impotently. The Assault Bots hanging out without a Mastermind nearby was a bit of a novelty though.
So I have a survivor to find and soon enough I find a CoT Guide being held hostage. I free him and he tells me about how they summoned the Dark Dragon here, and the Dark Dragon decided to somehow call Malta down on them and then left. Anyway, I got some Malta to wipe out still.
Along the way I take out a Gunslinger and find a clue telling me what I already know but what heroes probably won't, that Operation Weedkiller was often thwarted in the past by villain groups but somehow succeeded this time. I also found a book on dragons along the way, saying something about how they long ago left out world and went to 'Lanerbalan'. Hmm, that was the name of the place those 4 dragons said that they came from.
Anyway, I now have the annoying task of finding the raid leader inside the thorn tree room. However, I don't find a single boss in there.
If this is really a defeat all, you'll be finding a severed dragon head in your bed in the morning.
After circling the room for the 4th time I finally triggered the boss's unaware text and found him. Problem was I defeated him and the mission did not end. I defeated his guards and ambush, it didn't end. I defeated all other Malta I could find in the room, ANNOYING as they were hard to see in the dark areas of this room. No mission end.
Finally I decided to kill all those Auto Turrets I always ignore, and the mission finally ended.
Do everyone a favour and set that condition to "Kill just the boss".
Anyway, stars are already being deducted. The rest of this arc better be damn good to make up for this aggravating mission.
Oh by the way, the Tac Ops boss said that the Dark Dragon had technology and told them he has spaceships and will hire out some of this mercs to them, or something like that. I kind of forgot that detail with all the frustration I was experiencing in the Thorn Tree room.
Pete Stemitz thinks it all sounds preposterous too, until he remembered the dragon rock band. Once again, what happened to them?
Mission 3:
Pete called up Crimson and Crimson tells me to go to Warburg and check out the Malta base there for info. Sure, ok. I get to ride in a stolen Arachnos Flier as well, they're so neat and shiny!
I arrive to see Malta and Knives of Artemis, nothing special or challenging so far for this Brute. I smash around for a bit outside until I find the door into the warehouse and head on in. I hear a Malta patrol say something about creepy armored guys, they I beat up Sister Hecate and take some security code from her after she tells me that the Dark Dragon is already gone.
Down the hallway I start hearing some foreign language from some guys called Space Pirates. Looks like things finally might get interesting.
I see Ninjistu Stalkers, good thing I have a +perception IO. What will probably be more annoying is those Force Fielders, as there is no defense again Detention Field.
I decided since it is the last room to just pop Hasten and Power Surge and charge them all. Fortunately none of them think to use Detention Field, but if you ever wanted to be reminded how annoying it can be to enter a room and already see triple-stacked Dispersion Bubbles, here's an example for you. Good think I carry the big Insights.
I enter the security code into the safe and find the blueprints of the Arachnos sub base under Faultline. Guess where I'm headed to next.
Mission 4:
The thing I always hated about this map is that while it has a cool final room, the tunnel leading up to is so long, drab, and boring. Along the way I freed an Arachnos Commander who was being cornered by Space Pirates and mention Mako was coming. He took off once freed. At least this mission had a little warning in the briefing about an upcoming AV.
Anyway, the objective still says to find the Dark Dragon. I get to the sub room and see a glowing console, so of course I clear the entire room of Malta first before clicking on it. I get a message from the Dark Dragon saying "go ahead and arrest the Malta, as I don't need them anymore. Oh and take on Mako as well." Then Mako spawned right next to me, oh joy.
Actually, he's rather a wimp in EB form. With Power Surge up he could hardly scratch me. Even funnier was that he thought that this was meant to be a trap for me, until I stomped him into sushi.
Mission 5:
Ok, so the Circle is weakened, Arachnos's plans are foiled (though I have no idea really what the plan was ) and the Dark Dragon is still eluding me. He's used Malta to weaken the Circle and Arachnos and then me to weaken Malta.
Well, apparently he has finally been tracked to an old building in Faultline and a beacon that somehow means that he will be leaving in 30 minutes. Do I go get him or not.
Of course I go and get him, [censored] played me after all.
And walk into the most utterly aggravating boss battle of all time.
First a question, if he has no use for Malta anymore, what the heck are they doing here defending him on the first two floors of the building?
Then there is the boss room itself. I lost count but I think it was 7 or 8 of those Bots/FF LTs. There was also some LT guard I killed so fast I didn't notice him. Then there was Commander Arek, a Ice Melee/Willpower boss who has INFINITE REZZES! Then the Dark Dragon himself, a Bots/Ninjistu boss.
This entire battle was a parade of WTF.
So after popping Power Surge and Hasten, then eating all my Insights, Lucks and Enrages, and popping Force of Nature I find that I still need Build Up to even TOUCH the bosses with all the stacking Dispersion Bubbles around the room. I give up on them directly and go taking out all the Force Fielders and then turn my attention on Commander Arek. I killed him, Power Surge crashes, and he rezzes and kills me.
Ok, at least the mission is not failed yet. I hit the ticket vendor and stock up on inspirations, hit Hasten again to get Power Surge back up and re-enter the mission. I get back to the boss room, get Arek alone, and kill him again. He rezzes AGAIN. I kill him for the third time and finally he stays down.
Most annoying was that even with +Perception I have to get at least halfway into the room to even see the Dark Dragon. I use some Mu Lightning to pull him to the far side of the room, away from the elevators in case he runs. I then Lightning Rod around him, pop all my inspirations and do my best to keep him cornered. At 1/4 HP he hits smoke flash and starts running, but I already had Thunderstike queued and smashed his scaly face into the floor.
Pete had nothing to say about me beating the Dark Dragon really. No resolution whatsoever. It's like he didn't even care. To hell with you Pete.
================================
The Verdict:
Let's see. We got plot holes: Where did the dragons from mission 1 go? Why are Malta still helping the Dark Dragon in mission 5 if he left them for me to defeat in mission 4? What was the Arachnos plot?
We have annoying critters: Claws/Ninjistu, Bots/FF, and Extreme Willpower boss, and a Bots/Ninjitsu boss.
We have some maps that are much larger than they need to be: Was there really any reason to use the Vaults of Mu over any other Oranbega map?
We have an annoying boss hunt in an annoying room: Malta just blend into the dark areas of the Thorn Tree room so well.
Malta may not have been an annoyance to me (more like pushovers) but you know squishies will hate them as they always do. Not much that can be done about that.
Including note-taking time, it took me nearly 2 hours to finish this arc and I have no intention of spending any time on it again.
Final score: 2 Stars
Also, the following submitters still owe me feedback on any one of my arcs:
@Rampager
@Yumii
@Inazuma
Sorry - please take me off the list Lazarus; I'm probably going to be quitting CoH again in the near future and am not in a good state of mind to be doing critiquing.
I'd planned to do it; but other things have interfered.
Sorry.
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
[ QUOTE ]
Also, the following submitters still owe me feedback on any one of my arcs:
@Rampager
@Yumii
@Inazuma
[/ QUOTE ]
Dang! My apologies! I thought I did but when I reviewd the posts here I guess I didn't. You will get one from me tonight since I have been away from the game for a few days. Again my apologies.
[ QUOTE ]
Also, the following submitters still owe me feedback on any one of my arcs:
@Rampager
@Yumii
@Inazuma
[/ QUOTE ]
Whoop, slipped my mind. I got a dozen Arc IDs written down to play through. I jump into one of yours today.
EDIT: And now I have...
MacGuffin Delivery Service
Arc ID: 1567
As the only villainous arc, I chose this to play through with my 50 Stalker (whom I've been using for all my MA play). I found it to be a fun, well-crafted crime caper.
I was impressed with the use of spawns in the first two mission, how they creatively popped up only when the story called for it. Made it feel like the mission was happening because of me, instead of just waiting for some PC to walk into a map full of baddies.
Story-wise the use of CoT and Orenbega makes sense, though that didn't stop me from groaning when I saw what the 3rd mish entailed. Still, the various book titles were entertaining.
The final mission felt like a little bit of a letdown. It was just a find the glowy mish, and it kind of paled after the creativity of the first two missions. Maybe it might have been more of a challenge if I hadn't ghosted most of it with my Stalker, but it still felt like it was lacking something.
Overall, I like it. I gave it 4 stars. Very good, but not mind-blowingly awesome. I'll have to play through it again sometime with a different villain.
[ QUOTE ]
Sorry - please take me off the list Lazarus; I'm probably going to be quitting CoH again in the near future and am not in a good state of mind to be doing critiquing.
I'd planned to do it; but other things have interfered.
Sorry.
[/ QUOTE ]
Sorry to hear that, your arc looked interesting.
[ QUOTE ]
The final mission felt like a little bit of a letdown. It was just a find the glowy mish, and it kind of paled after the creativity of the first two missions. Maybe it might have been more of a challenge if I hadn't ghosted most of it with my Stalker, but it still felt like it was lacking something.
[/ QUOTE ]
That is rather the point really. Everyone is so busy fighting that you have the option to avoid them all and ditch the artifact. The real twist is in the debriefing and souvenir.
Just a reminder, feedback on my arcs goes here so as to keep this thread organized.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The final mission felt like a little bit of a letdown. It was just a find the glowy mish, and it kind of paled after the creativity of the first two missions. Maybe it might have been more of a challenge if I hadn't ghosted most of it with my Stalker, but it still felt like it was lacking something.
[/ QUOTE ]
That is rather the point really. Everyone is so busy fighting that you have the option to avoid them all and ditch the artifact. The real twist is in the debriefing and souvenir.
Just a reminder, feedback on my arcs goes here so as to keep this thread organized.
[/ QUOTE ]
Added my review there. And the souvenir was excellent. 
Arc: The Cold Wind
Arc ID: 4552
Author: @Sayaki
Number of Missions: 5
Description: Cold Wind has sought for years to find a way to bring his family back from the other side of death. Now, he's finally found a way, and those who believe in him will stop at nothing to see to it that he succeeds...
I can't wait to see how this goes for you in it's current form Lazarus
Best of luck, and be careful of the AV in the last mission.
__________
@Sayaki arcs:
--The Cold Wind: #4552
--The Exhibit: #8647
Arc: Death to Disco!
Arc ID: 84420
Author: @Wrong Number
Number of Missions: 2
Description: It's 2009; Dr. Disco Fever has somehow altered the timeline so that Disco never died. The Star Spangled Banner is played to a Disco beat! Sporting events start with people standing up and "getting down" for our national anthem. Restore the timeline or be stuck Boogie Oggie-ing forever!
Rating: ****
================================
Character used: Zetsumei Mitsukai, Level 50 Dual Blades/Dark Armor Scrapper
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 50
================================
Mission 1:
This began rather amusingly when I got summoned by the Deity of Rock to the Hall of Rock in order to save Rock and Roll! That's a lot of Rock and I like it!
Anyhow, Dr. Disco Fever has somehow altered the timeline and is attempting to erase Rock and Roll, the Deity (I'm just gonna call him Rock) has pinpointed the beginning of this change to 1977. On a day in that year President Carter mysteriously introduced a bill to re-theme the nation anthem (should be "national") to a disco beat.
Examing the President's schedule, Rock found that Carter made an unexpected stop that day on the way to give a speech. I'm teleporting to that location to check out what happened at that stop.
(Debriefing typo: should be "For the love of Rock...")
I arrive at a dingy abandoned lab and have to find President Carter and defeat a man named Sauer. To my surprise when I opened the front door, I came face to face with a squad of Crey tanks. I wonder what they have to profit from this change to the timeline.
I clear my way through a couple floors of Crey with the assumption that I may have to escort the President out, but fortunately I don't have to one I free him from the energy field he is contained in. Nearby I find Crey Mad-Scientist-for-Hire Sauer, who is surprised by his instructions to reprogram President Carter to love Disco.
Unfortunately, Sauer nor President Carter gave me any clues as to what was going on. I had hoped for some monologuing from Sauer at least. At least Rock knows that Dr. Disco paid Crey to somehow go back in time and brainwash President Carter.
Mission 2:
The timeline is restored, but Dr. Disco Fever is making another attempt by going back with some henchmen to prevent the Disco Demolition event and the beginning of the "Disco Sucks!" movement. I have to follow him back through time and defeat him, as well as destroying every Disco record, cassette, and 8-track tape. That last part sounds a bit extreme if you ask me.
Whatever, DEATH TO DISCO!
I arrive in an outdoor area and see some crates surrounded by the foes with the names: Diva, Disco Prince, Disco Queen, Disco DJ, Kung Fu Fightin, and...Disco Granny? Diva and Kung Fu Fightin are self-explanatory and nicely designed, however I wonder why Granny has a bow, DJ has a frankengun, and Prince carries a katana.
I saw a few fighting with Hard Rockers, who carried Axes. /rimshot
After smashing several crates of Disco music, Dr. Disco Fever himself arrived to try and stop me. After a quick search I found him. According to his backstory, he was a big name back in the days of disco until it ended and fell on hard times. Working as a janitor at Crey, he got his hands on some super serum and hopped into an Ouroboros portal that some hero carelessly left open. Still doesn't explain the Crey troops in mission 1 really.
The battle with the Doc was pretty easy for a Scrapper despite him being Gravity Control/Electric Armor. (Maybe crank up his secondary, he could use some Knockback protection but then he might be too annoying with the end drain aura.) He does have some fun battle dialog though.
Anyhow, the history of Rock and Roll was safe again!
================================
The Verdict:
This arc was obviously designed to be a short, comedic romp and it mostly delivers on that. I still have a few nitpicks, like how did all those Crey get back to 1977 and how did Dr. Disco Fever hire them? Why didn't any of those followers of his appear in mission 1 at all? Some of the powers of the Disco followers were a bit random and didn't seem justified at all.
I'll still give it a 4 for fun but not something I'd run again or share with friends often. With some more polish it might bump up to a 5.
Arc ID: 28450
Arc Name: The Doom That Came to Paragon City
Author: @Tokamak
Description: Azuria sends you to investigae a magic related accident at a warehouse, but what you uncover is far more sinister than a stray spell or two...
Rating: ****
================================
Character used: Zetsumei Mitsukai, Level 50 Dual Blades/Dark Armor Scrapper
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 50
================================
Mission 1:
I've always been a bit of a sucker for H.P. Lovecraft, so this arc title caught my eye right away. Azuria tells me that someone reported hearing sounds of screaming and breaking glass coming from a nearby warehouse, as well as the stench of "an open grave in summer." The Hazmat teams cannot enter for some reason, so they ask me to check it out.
When Azuria tell you that she has a bad feeling about something, it's not a good sign.
This warehouse is filthy and smells of decay. It is also inhabited by a lot of identical zombified people called "Defiled Slaves" who like to talk about rot and decay and also happen to all be Dark Melee/Dark Armor Scrappers. There is also a LT (Corrupted Shell) that appears to be Dark Blast/Dark Misama.
Already I can see some annoyance potential from this. That's a lot of to-hit debuffing to throw around and there seems to be only 1 type of minion in this "Defiled" group. At least they do have a description. Regardless, I rather like the concept and think that they simply need more variety in their ranks, preferably some that are not Dark-something as it gets old fast seeing your To-hit dropping to 30% and your damage at -30%.
I quickly find an inscribed tablet, one of those kind where the runes are so terrible that they hurt your eyes. I manage to make a copy of them for Azuria to look at later as I cannot read them myself (nice touch).
In the back of the warehouse I find a survivor, Howard Phillips. He tells me that he was moving a crate when it fell over and broke open. Another worker read the tablet that they found inside, aloud apparently, and then all hell broke lose. The crate was addressed to Crawford Industries.
The Hazmat team is able to get in now and clean up. Azuria tells little of the tablet other than how unholy the description was and that it was missing a piece, the piece that tells you just what it was meant to summon.
Mission 2:
As expected, I'm off to Crawford Industries to find out just what they were having that tablet shipped to them for. As soon as I arrive that their offices I am detected by some odd cultists who have no intention of letting me leave alive. First time I've been attacked by office workers with Dual Blades and Willpower.
A note on using Willpower for custom critters, be careful. I see that the minions are onyl on Standard and lack status resist and Rise to the Challenge, but the LTs do appear to have those powers. Rise to the Challenge being a to-hit debuff, and one of the LTs being Dark Blast/Willpower, might be a bit to much for many players.
During my search of the offices I found a shipping manifest and learned that there are more of those tablets (obelisks?) being stored at another warehouse. Then I found the man in charge, Arthur Jermyn.
Arthur is a Dark Melee/Invuln Boss, and apparently an extreme one at that as he threw every power in the book at me. It was a bit annoying that he could use Unstoppable, but at the same time it was fitting as he did it at 25% HP and also did a "I call on the power of..." speech when he did it.
After his defeat, he told me that Paragon was already doomed and then...dissolved. So much for evidence.
The Cult in the office was that of Uzurthelex, of whom Azuria informs me is an ancient deity of pain, suffering, and disease. Sounds like a fun guy, and totally lovecraftian.
Mission 3:
I set off to secure the other obelisks. Azuria gives me some tags that I can put on them so that she can teleport them away (another nice touch) so that I don't have to try to carry them all out myself.
I arrive at the warehouse and find a bunch of members of the Family guarding the crates, clueless as to what horrors they contain. I throw on some stealth and quickly grab all 6 crates. (Slight nitpick, these are high-tech crates, which look a bit out of place in this warehouse.)
So I've captured the obelisks and we're all safe now and...what is it Azuria? Don't tell me it's the MAGI vault.
Mission 4:
Five of the obelisks arrived safely, but somehow the 6th got teleported to the Atlas Park hospital and "went off". This is not going to pretty.
I enter the Charles Dexter Ward (/rimshot) of the hospital, which has been turned into a pretty ugly and scary place. It's filled with Defiled, so we're back to debuff city. I have orders to defeat the manifestation of Uzurthelex and clear the infestation, I hope the second part doesn't mean "Defeat All". To test that theory, I stealth to the end of the map and face Uzurthelex. I find him and he is not happy that only one obelisk was used, but it does mean that he is weakened and only an elite boss.
At least on solo, I then saw some purple triangles. You really need to put a warning in the description then.
So Uzurthelex is a Necro/Dark Miasma AV and puts up a decent fight. I thankfully brought a lot of Insights and Enrages along to counter-attack some of his debuffing and took him down. The somewhat odd thing was that he knew me by name, I don't know if it's a deity power or what.
The mission didn't end with him and his spawn down, so I cleaned out the rest of the room that I had found him in. That didn't end the mission so I went backwards and cleared the entire map of Defiled. That ended the mission.
In a way a clear all for this sort of even is justified, it's just that it does get a bit tough finding them all in this map as there are so many bits of scenery to hide behind. Maybe change it so it's only clear the last room instead.
Unfortunately while I am told that I saved the city, I am not told just how that obelisk got teleported there by mistake. (Plot Hole)
================================
The Verdict:
I do like this arc, it has a nice story and good enemy designs for the most part but those Defiled do drag the rating down a bit. The author went a bit overboard with the Dark powers, as well as setting them a bit too high (those Corrupted Shells were obviously using Dark Miasma on the Hard setting). I think tweaking those Defiled to be a bit less debuff heavy would be a welcome change, especially for characters who are not IO'ed for extra accuracy and to-hit like Zetsu is. Overall rating is 4-stars.
Arc ID: 47143
Arc Name: The Galactic Protectorate
Author: Unknown Hero
Description: An alternate-reality Synapse contacts you to help him fight a new enemy who threatens his world and may one day threaten yours.
(Oddly, the description given in MA doesn't mention any of that. Better fix that as right now it's not anything that would grab someone's interest.)
Rating: ***
================================
Character used: Zetsumei Mitsukai, Level 50 Dual Blades/Dark Armor Scrapper
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 50
================================
Mission 1:
Synapse appears as the contact and seems to be confused. Apparently he is from an alternate universe and is not happy that he connected to an arcade system. Anyhow, he has reprogrammed the AE system to somehow teleport me into his universe so that I can help him fight some unknown threat to it. Sure, why not?
I arrive in a demolish, burning Atlas Park and am tasked with rescuing 4 people of whom I've never heard of before. I also see some enemies from a group called "GP - Division 0" of which I assume is this Galactic Protectorate mentioned in the title.
Already I am going to tell the author something: don't give Energy Drain Energy Aura LTs! Made that mistake myself once and it is not a power that should be used on common enemies. It drains a lot of endurance, is auto-hit, and teams will lynch you when a couple LTs can sap the entire team dry in seconds. Even solo I am running into pairs of them and if I didn't have some resistance to end drain I'd already be quitting this arc.
Fortunately the author was nice enough to trap the hostages inside energy fields so that they could be spotted from a distance. After freeing all 4 I find a clue, a newspaper dated from the future showing the signature heroes in from of a demolished Grandville, yet they don't look happy.
There is a lot of dialog in this mission and descriptions on all the enemies and hostages, I can't really summarize it all but apparently this Protectorate is not here to protect us as far as I can tell.
Anyhow, from the debriefing I get the impression that the heroes are really the bad guys in this reality. (Subtle as a truck, that Synapse, accidentally referring to the people I rescued as prisoners before stopping himself mid-word.)
Mission 2:
Now Synapse is asking me to infiltrate one of the GP's bases. It's a communications hub and he wants me to copy whatever information I can and destroy anything that I cannot. Simple enough.
I decide to stealth this mission, mostly because of how annoying some of the enemies can be. Especially those Energy Dancers, Gravity users, and Stormies. Another thing, giving enemies Energy Melee and then giving them Build Up is not that good of an idea either. I'm not sure if you're going for a challenge arc here or not.
Then there is the objective-fest in the nav bar. This is where the plural nav text is nice to have. It should be "3 Computers to find, 3 Mainframes to destroy" not "Find Computer, Find Computer, Find..." Also, don't turn up the interact time on a glowy unless you have some good reason to do so. I just makes things take longer.
So after running through that base I found four clues: the location of a GP base, access codes for that base, some classified orders that for some reason I cannot read, and a log entry mentioning that Earth is a Level 5 Occupation and that resistance is expected.
Mission 3:
Turns out this other base is right in the center of the former "Arachnos Empire" and that the GP is about to execute Manticore in the next 30 minutes. Off to the rescue I go.
Synapse is in debt to Manticore for his life? I wonder what happened in that Universe as I don't remember these two ever getting along in ours.
Stealthing through, first thing I do is find the computer that I can use to falsify the report of Manticore's execution. (Why is this computer so slow?) I got a good feeling that without Stealth I would not finish this mission in time.
I get up to the top floor and find Manticore in a very crowded room. After using Blackwand to pull out a couple groups I'm able to go in and free him. Fortunately he is not an escort, and oddly says that he owes me one...again.
The clue Manticore gives says that he knows where the GP general is hiding (I was looking for one?) but the mission is over. There is also a non-required and thankfully not-so-slow computer that gives a partial recording of the Last Battle of Arachnos. I get the impression from it that Positron may have exploded, given that he doesn't appear in that newspaper picture.
With that the arc ends and Synapse tells me that they might have more need of me in the future.
================================
The Verdict:
I have a few issues with this arc as it stands right now. There is definitely a story, but not really enough to get me hooked and if this is meant to be part 1 in a multi-arc story then it really needs more work to get you interested in seeing the rest. Right now I wonder if there really is enough story to make more than one arc when there was barely enough to last three missions here. It would help if we were at least given some background on the Galactic Protectorate and the circumstances of how they arrived. It seems odd that the arc is named after them yet we find out nothing about them.
Then there is the Galactic Protectorate itself. Nice visual designs, though I wonder why they're all female. Problem is the selection of powers and their settings. Two Energy Melee LTs set to Extreme? Dark Miasma minions? Storm LTs? Three different types of healers? Extreme Energy Aura LTs? They definitely can use quite a bit of rebalancing otherwise they will prove to be very annoying enemies to fight, especially for a squishy player.
For now I can only give it 3-stars. It's just not finished enough in its current state.
(Deep Breath) OK, here we go...
Arc Name: The Galactic Protectorate
Arc ID#: 47143
Author: Unknown Hero
# of Missions: 3
Description: An alternate-reality Synapse contacts you to help him fight a new enemy who threatens his world and may one day threaten yours.
Technical Details: I would suggest bringing a solo-friendly character to this Arc. While there are no AVs or EBs, the minions and lieutenants have VERY good synergy and can overwhelm you if you aggro too many at once. I usually go through this Arc with my DB/WP Scrapper at Difficulty Level 2 with no problems, so if you're using a Scrapper, Tanker, or Brute, you shouldn't have any trouble as long as your difficulty isn't set too high. The first mission is, indeed, a hostage rescue mission in an outdoor map, but the good news is that I've designed it so that the hostages are farily easy to spot. There are no "Defeat All" missions, either.
All right, with all that said, I'm going to go try out one of your Arcs now. I look forward to your review; please don't be too hard on me
Supplemental Galactic Protectorate Fanfic