Life in the City of Heroes

FADE IN

EXT - EDEN - AFTERNOON - ESTABLISHING

A bucolic meadow. A primaeval forest towers skyward in the distance. The tranquility is shattered as SYNAPSE runs by in a blur of speed. A herd of DEVOURING EARTH monsters run after him.

The camera pans to the left, where we find SYNAPSE battling the DEVOURING EARTH monsters. SYNAPSE'S PHONE, a doppelganger of SYNAPSE, watches happily in the foreground.

SYNAPSE'S PHONE
(turns to face camera)

Beep! Synapse's Phone here. Synapse doesn't have AT&T, so he gets ZERO BARS out here in Eden. That text message you sent that the judges at Icon's latest supermodel fashion show all caught Vahzilok Plague, and Serge needs an emergency replacement? We're not going to get that message.

SYNAPSE
(pulls PDA out of his belt and looks at it)

Oh, geez! Only 20% done? C'mon, ONE of you guys needs to drop an emitter!

SYNAPSE'S PHONE
(grinning enthusiastically)
We're just going to hang out here and keep on grinding out our Devourer of Earth badge.
(gives the camera a thumbs up)

SYNAPSE

Wait, no! Not the fungi! AARRRGGGGG!

SYNAPSE'S PHONE
(cheering)

Way to go, buddy! Only 293 more!

CUT TO - AT&T LOGO

VOICEOVER

AT&T. More bars in more places.

SYNAPSE'S VOICE

Aw, man! Those were NEW shoes!

FADEOUT

*laughs and promptly chokes on her Chinese food*

Damn it, Slick, now there's Lotus chicken all over my desk!

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

Yeh!

*giggles insanely*

I wonder if I could actually film this...

*sigh*

One more thing to add to my to-do list.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

Are you terminally ill? Has the "medical community" rejected you and consigned you to a premature grave? Is your mind open to new possibilities? If so, then we can help. Reply to box 33333 or send a text message to VAHZ.
---
W4M - I am a busy professional woman with a few extra pounds, but curves in all the right places. You are a self-employed 25-35yr old mechanically-inclined man with a knack for hydraulics and armor-plating repair. I like Walt Whitman, crusing across the Steel Canyon skyline, and reading Miranda rights. You like spanners, moonlight walks by Everett Lake, and old Bogart movies. If this sounds like a match made in heaven, contact me at box 33425.
---
You rescued my purse and stole my heart! You left without waiting for thanks, but the flames wreathing your face ignited a fire of passion. I will be at the Yellow Line tonight. Look for me if you feel the same. Lady in Red
---
Secret Identity Seeks Same - Help! My wife is beginning to suspect that my late-night outings are not just carousing with my buddies. I need to stage an extra-marital affair to distract her from the truth. If you're a female hero with similar problems, contact me at box 99889 and we can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.
---
M4W - "Super-Sized" man who can bench 1260lbs seeks equally endowed BBW for long term relationship and more. Interested ladies, reply to box 15689.
---
Your Personal Ad Here! - Lonely? Frustrated? Just looking for someone to hang out with? Post your ads here! Contact the Paragon Times circulation manager at 555-SUPER.
---
Thank you Pulsar Man! We would be spare parts by now if not for you. God bless you!
---
Are you from another plane? - Lonely extra-dimensional energy being seeks friends, maybe more. Must be willing to travel to the fifth circle of thought. All race, creeds, and genders welcome to reply to box 3333.
---
The photogenic hedgehog prances under the twilight moon.
---
Alice, he knows. Contact me immediately in the usual way. Arctic Thunder.
---
Thank you, St. Jude, for sending Atomic Woman to rescue me.
---
Have you always wanted to be a super hero? Researcher seeks man or woman, five-two to five-eight, HWP, with naturally red hair for late-night experimentation. Should not be claustrophobic. Hair MUST be natural! Reply to box 26543.
---

Yep, it's official, you are trying to kill me.

Note to self: NEVER have anything in my mouth when I open a post of SlickRiptide's.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

lol!!!!!! GREAT STUFF!

Hmmm.... Two for two. I wonder what the odds are of a trifecta?

Voiceover: Like sands through the hourglass. So are the Days of Our Lives.

((Fade-in to parlor in the mansion of the evil mastermind, Victor van Snidely, a handsome and wealthy 24-year-old villain, where he lives with his 45-year-old mother, the beautiful and only slightly less villainous Madame Tussaud.))

Victor: How could you betray me, Mother? After all I've done for you?

Madame T.: Don't you trust me Victor? Surely you don't believe that I called Inspector Clueless and tipped him off about the robbery? What would I stand to gain?

Victor: How many times have you told me, Mother, "It's my nature to be perverse?"

Madame T.: It's difficult to act against Nature, Dear.

((Victor stomps off up a spiral staircase to his bedroom. As he vanishes, a figure in military fatigues, with a wicked looking Frankengun strapped to his back, steps through an open patio door. Major Payne confronts Madame Tussaud.))

Major P.: Your criminal career is over, Madame Tussaud! I'm placing you under arrest, now!

Madame T: Arthur! What are you doing here? Go, quickly, before Victor finds you!

Major P.: I'm not falling for your wiles again, Alicia! You're going to the Zig, and your son is going with you!

(( Madame Tussaud holds her fists before her, wrists touching. She walks demurely towards Major Payne and tosses her hair provocatively as she steps within a few inches of him.))

Madame T: Very well, Arthur. Arrest me if you must! Just take me, now, and leave before Victor discovers you!

((Payne looks into her eyes and grabs her wrists roughly in both hands. He stares at her and his expression softens. Instead of slapping handcuffs on her, he releases her, then places his hands gently on either side of her face as he kisses her, diffidently, at first and then hungrily. Cursing his weakness, he pulls her into his arms and they wrestle passionately. A feral growl interrupts them, and they look up to see Victor staring at them, an expression of hatred on his face.))

Victor: Payne! I'll kill you!

Major P.: Van Snidely!

((He pushes Madame Tussaud roughly aside and tries to grab his gun as Victor, mad with hatred and anger, launches himself at Major Payne from the top of the stairs. They grapple frantically, and the gun fires three times as a red glow envelops Victors hands and he pounds Major Payne relentlessly over and over.))

Madame T.: Victor, stop!

((Victor pauses, Payne held unconcious in his left hand, his right hand raised for the coup-de-grace. Madame Tussaud throws herself bodily between Victor and his prey. He stands over her, a raging tower of barely suppressed fury.))

Victor: Out of the way, Mother. I intend to finish him this time, once and for all.

Madame T: I can't, Victor. YOU can't.

Victor: Why, Mother? Why should I spare him?

((Madame Tussaud lifts a tear-stained face to Victor. The music swells to a dramatic crescendo as she holds Major Payne's cheek against hers.))

Madame T: He's your FATHER.

((The camera zooms in for a closeup of Victor's shell-shocked face, then cuts too... an office somewhere in Port Oakes. The wood panel walls and the crates strewn haphazardly here and there indicate that we are on the docks someplace. Inspector Clueless, a 30-something man with chiseled features and a trenchcoat, and Billy Marcone, a dark-complexioned, classically handsome man of around 28, wearing a tailored suit that screams "Money!", glare at each other across Marcone's desk.))

Billy: If you've got something to say to me, Inspector, you'd better say it plain or take your goons and get out!

Inspector C: I'll have my say soon enough, Marcone. My team has traced the Superadine distribution chain practically to your doorstep!

Billy: "Practically" isn't worth the breath you wasted to say it, Inspector. If you had any real evidence you'd have arrested me by now. Did it ever occur to you that the reason you can't find the evidence is that it doesn't exist? I set up here in the sticks because I wanted nothing to do with the Family business. Whether you believe that or not is your affair.

((A police officer steps into the room, looks towards Inspector Clueless, and holds up his hands apologetically.))

PO: I'm sorry, Inspector. We've searched the whole area and come up with nothing. It's clean.

((Inspector Clueless steps to the desk and jabs his finger pointedly at Billy's chest.))

Inspector C: Don't think I won't find the evidence, Marcone. You may have fooled Alicia van Snidely, but you don't fool me. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

((The two adversaries glare at each other through narrowed eyes, as the music builds dramatically. Each of them leans across the desk until they are inches apart.))

Billy: Remember this, Inspector. If a man goes looking for trouble, then trouble has a way of finding him.

Inspector C: Is that a THREAT, Marcone?

Billy: Consider it... a WARNING.

((The two men's eyes bore into each other as the camera cuts too... A high-tech installation. We know it's high-tech because of all of the cabinets covered by flashing lights and CRT screens with 8086 assembly code scrolling over them. This is the secret supergroup base of Excessive Force. Two twenty-something women, a blonde and a brunette who might have stepped straight out of the pages of Supers Fashion Monthly, are chatting near a large computer monitor that changes its display every few seconds. Dynamo Girl, the blonde, holds a wedding gown up over her hero costume as Miss Terious, the brunette, looks on admiringly.))

Dynamo Girl: Isn't it just gorgeous, Becky?

Miss T: You'll be the talk of Port Oakes, Jen. No doubt about it.

Dynamo Girl: I can't wait to see Billy's face when he sees me wearing it!

Miss T: I can't wait to see how long it takes him to get you out of it!

((The both laugh and Dynamo Girl folds up the dress to replace it in its storage box. Miss Terious abruptly turns serious.))

Miss T: Have you told Billy yet?

Dynamo Girl: Shhh! Do you WANT to ruin my wedding?

((A raven-haired, 30-year-old woman walks by. She is dressed completely in black, with a white skull and crossbones on her chest. Her pale skin and full red lips contrast beautifully with her uniform. Overhearing the conversation, she stops behind a computer console, unseen, and tilts her head to better hear what is being said.))

Miss T: I just think it will be better for Billy to hear it from you than to hear it from the rumor mill.

Dynamo Girl: That night with Major Payne was a one-time fling! He was broken up about Madame Tussaud's latest escape and I was heartbroken over Billy threatening to never speak to me again, after I arrested his Uncle Vito. Nobody knows except me, you and Arthur. There's no reason for Billy to ever find out!

Miss T: It's a good thing that Vito talked Billy into taking you back. He's a strange man.

Dynamo Girl: There's nothing strange about Vito. He just wants to see Billy make it as a legitimate businessman. I almost felt sorry about arresting him. On the ride to the jailhouse, he wasn't threatening and blustering. He was giving me recommendations on who should cater the wedding! Can you believe it?

Miss T: Maybe Arthur can arrange for a supervised release for him to attend the wedding.

Dynamo Girl: That would be wonderful!

Miss T: I still think it's dangerous to keep this a secret from Billy. Can you imagine if someone like Darqueness found out?

Dynamo Girl: That witch! She's been after Billy since the day she joined Excessive Force. I wish Arthur would just find an excuse to expel her.

Miss T: Jen...

Dynamo Girl: Not another word about it! It's over and done and I want to keep it that way!

Miss T: Alright, have it your way.

Dynamo Girl: C'mon! I want to show you the invitations that I've picked out.

((The two girls walk off chatting. The woman in black flattens herself against the console as they walk by and they pass without noticing her. As their voices recede into the distance, a predatory smile spreads across her face. She thinks for a moment, then the music swells dramatically as she takes out her cell phone and punches a series of numbers.))

Woman in Black: Hello. I'd like to speak to Alicia van Snidely. Tell her that DARQUENESS has some NEWS for her.

((The camera fades out to commercial))

Voiceover: Days of Our Lives will continue... After these messages.

Around the Town

License Plates

• 2SUPR4U
• UPNAWAY
• IMACAPE

• My other car is a raptor pack
• I brake for catgirls

• That light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming fire tank
• You can have my frankengun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers
• Blasters give the best build up

[ QUOTE ]
I brake for catgirls

[/ QUOTE ]

Funny, I push the pedal further down...