Latest project - The Big Man Himself
By
ddgryphon,
Posted on: 2008-06-17 19:09 in Multi-Media Fan Creations
Hmm.
*looks*
Well, first off, I've gotta say, I like the pose- very Superman- and the attention to detail is good. Quite good, in fact.
Which is part of the problem; the individual details are well done... so well done, in fact, that the discrepancies are vastly more jarring than they would be otherwise.
Lemme see if I can break this down... (starting from the bottom, because it's easier).
* The small of his back is too far in- shift it out a little, maybe midway (or a touch further) between the existing line and the bit of crosshatching I'm assuming is his cape? Supes is a big guy, not that skinny.
* The right-hand bit of his abdominal muscles doesn't look quite right (well, left-hand side of the page, his right 
). I think (maybe somebody who knows for sure can chime in?) that the abs should be ending sooner- there should be a defining line before they 'wrap' around his body like you have them.
* His arm(s). He looks like somebody hung a small watermelon from a well-muscled shoulder (the shoulders, by the way, are excellent work, although you may want to bump his left shoulder outwards slightly/bulk it up if you follow my advice of shifting the back line out a bit). The... argh, this is where my lack of formal training in anatomy is annoying... tricep, I think? The muscle under the bicep, anyways... flattens out slightly- it's not a rounded bulge like the bicep is. Also, his elbow is... odd. Even on a heavily built guy, the elbow still sticks out a bit, and it's got a visible line- it's not just an indentation.
* The "S" shield is... uhm... flat. It makes him look a bit like his chest has been pushed in a little.
* The neck *might* be a trifle on the long side... looks that way, anyways.
* I'm still trying to pin down what's bothering me about his face; I think it's just the slightest bit too small, making him look a bit alien (... er, you know what I mean). The space between his sideburn (or where it would be, anyhow) and the corner of his eye is too big, leaving a bit of 'dead space' that niggles at the brain and makes his jaw seem too long, even though it isn't. And he's got a huuuuuuuuuge forehead, thanks to the small face. Enlarge the face, but keep the bottom lip where it is.
* A minor nitpick, but maybe fluff the back of his hair out a bit? Right now it looks painted on, it's so close to where his skull would be, roughly (I'm not sure on this one; something about that area is bothering me).
So... once again; good pose, very nice attention to detail, just needs some cleaning up in composition. 
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
Good picture! Reminds me of the original superman animations cartoon 
Wow -- lots of info! Thank you very much for taking the time to write all of this up. I'll go through it.
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Well, first off, I've gotta say, I like the pose- very Superman- and the attention to detail is good. Quite good, in fact.
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Thanks!
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* The small of his back is too far in- shift it out a little, maybe midway (or a touch further) between the existing line and the bit of crosshatching I'm assuming is his cape? Supes is a big guy, not that skinny.
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Good point here. I'm more used to drawing the lithe yet muscular guys (Spiderman for instance). Even most of my CoH heroes get a small waist in the editor. However, I do agree that Superman is more *massive* and should be wider in girth (and I've modified the pic to reflect this). Thanks for catching that!
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* The right-hand bit of his abdominal muscles doesn't look quite right (well, left-hand side of the page, his right ). I think (maybe somebody who knows for sure can chime in?) that the abs should be ending sooner- there should be a defining line before they 'wrap' around his body like you have them.
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Yes -- I agree with this also, but I intentionally left this as is during this phase (perhaps I should've stated that I'm not finished with this piece yet). The reason why is because that defining line you refer to will be made during the coloring (I didn't want a hard line defining that side). You can see what my plan is with this if you happen to look at the original sketch.
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* His arm(s). He looks like somebody hung a small watermelon from a well-muscled shoulder (the shoulders, by the way, are excellent work, although you may want to bump his left shoulder outwards slightly/bulk it up if you follow my advice of shifting the back line out a bit). The... argh, this is where my lack of formal training in anatomy is annoying... tricep, I think? The muscle under the bicep, anyways... flattens out slightly- it's not a rounded bulge like the bicep is. Also, his elbow is... odd. Even on a heavily built guy, the elbow still sticks out a bit, and it's got a visible line- it's not just an indentation.
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Going back to the *Superman is massive* idea, I purposefully made the arms big. And, yes, you got it right -- that's the tricep. More muscle definition (as well as elbow definition) will be added during the coloring/shading/highlighting process. However, I'll likely be keeping the overall size (just a matter of preference really).
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* The "S" shield is... uhm... flat. It makes him look a bit like his chest has been pushed in a little.
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More definition will also be applied here during the shading/highlighting (look at the original sketch again for reference). I didn't want a hard/black defining line breaking the symbol.
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* The neck *might* be a trifle on the long side... looks that way, anyways.
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Just a trifle, but I also don't see Supes as a no-neck muscle-bound figure (not that this is what you were suggesting). Probably not something I'll change though.
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* I'm still trying to pin down what's bothering me about his face; I think it's just the slightest bit too small, making him look a bit alien (... er, you know what I mean). The space between his sideburn (or where it would be, anyhow) and the corner of his eye is too big, leaving a bit of 'dead space' that niggles at the brain and makes his jaw seem too long, even though it isn't. And he's got a huuuuuuuuuge forehead, thanks to the small face. Enlarge the face, but keep the bottom lip where it is.
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Agreed on the forehead. I had tried to a bit of a receding hairline, but went overboard. I've gone ahead and reduced that a bit. Doing that helped remove some of the 'vast real estate' that his face was showing, so I didn't bother to enlarge the face any.
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* A minor nitpick, but maybe fluff the back of his hair out a bit? Right now it looks painted on, it's so close to where his skull would be, roughly (I'm not sure on this one; something about that area is bothering me).
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I understand your point, but I'll mildly disagree here. I envision Supes with a crew-cut, so I did want the very close-cropped hair. It's probably due to the fact that I'm old enough to have seen the old George Reeves Superman serials 
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So... once again; good pose, very nice attention to detail, just needs some cleaning up in composition.
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Very good critique! Again, thanks much for taking the time. I appreciate it.
Aha... some things explained, some things cleared up... and one or two things that need to be clarified from my end, I think.
- the 'watermelon' comment about his arm was more in reference to shape than size; mind you, looking at it again, I think that particular critique was wrong (although I think I found the reference pic that gave you the idea when I was poking around for confirmation!)- it's not the shape of the arm that's bothering me, it's the length.
... which brings me back to the length of the neck. I did a quick-and-dirty shifting of the head downwards (just copied the pic temporarily into Paintshop, to see)... and it makes a big difference- a lot of the things that were bugging me cleared up. The neck is out of proportion, I think- I agree that Supes is no bull-necked goon, but by the same token, he's not a swan-necked model, either. Try it for yourself- you may agree, you may not. Dunno.
- The S-Shield; it's not the lack of definition that makes it seem flat; it's the fact that you've drawn it in with nearly straight edges, as if it were on a billboard.
And thanks in turn for the gracious response to my critique... I know I can come across a bit heavy-handed at times, which is why I critique so rarely (well, that and I'm lazy >.>. Looking forward to the finished product, in any case
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
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Good picture! Reminds me of the original superman animations cartoon
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Same here, definitely has that feel to it.
They ALL float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too!
@Starflier
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Good picture! Reminds me of the original superman animations cartoon
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Same here, definitely has that feel to it.
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That was exactly what I thought of--the Fleischer Cartoons.
Interesting note on this is that I used no references (other than for the chest symbol).
I'll have to go searching for Fleischer's work since now you al have made me curious.
Thanks for the comments!
So I've finished this (not 100% pleased, but I have other sketches calling me that I want to get to).
Thanks for the previous critiques -- I actually did change the final piece a bit, based on them.
http://rylandir.deviantart.com/art/S...trait-90670567
I'm not sure if this sort of fan art is allowed here, but figured I can always have it removed if it is a problem.
Supes was the one that started it all for me when I was a little tyke. I figured I should pay him a tribute with my next art piece.
http://rylandir.deviantart.com/art/S...-Inks-89001853