Except for a few typos, he's an interesting villain... You might want to look at BAS guides, do a search for Back Alley Scrapper on Deviant Art. In his scraps folder are several examples of excellent guides for artist's to use, this looked more like a writer's guide to me, as the images are much too small.
Here's a good example of an artists guide 
Yeah, Speedy's guide is really nice.
The thing about artist guides is that you have to take into consideration that they're artists, not writers. Generally, artists don't care much for backstory and whatnot. All we really want is to see what the characters look like, maybe a couple random tidbits of information like powersets, personality, and character. History and whatnot is generally just extra reading.
yup yup
Better?
I kept the story but I got a bot more in depth with te screenshots. Also covered the details a but more.
Personally I like the more extensive backgrounds. Makes it easier to get a grasp of the character and what situations he might find himself in. A fun character anyways and I think the guide is enough to work from.
It's looking good so far. The new version is a good improvement. I would make a suggestion: When you take your screen caps, make sure you are in good lighting. What you have now is ok, but next time, I'd try to be in a place that was brighter. You can also add things to the artist guide that you would like to see on the character, but character creation doesn't allow. Like you said you make him as skinny as you could (an awesome thing to include in you guide), but you can also say, you made him as skinny as you could, but envisioned him skinnier than that. Just, don't go crazy with it, and most artists should be willing to work with little changes like that.
Well actually the character creator did him right, butr I've seen many many times where a person will have a skinn character and for some reason artists want to add bulk.... My point was he is meant to be skinny, not bulky
You might want to splice on the skinny "reference model" of some comic book character to use as the guide, ie: plastic man, mr fantastic, or one of those metal men.
hmmm.. A lot of the refrence was based on things I liked on certain artists... I wanted him to be a skinny shirtless rocker... Like Tommy Lee without the tats (although his stage outfit has an anarchy tattoo). And the face was meant to be like a younger version of an older Keith Richards if that makes any sence. I wanted to give the feeling that this was still a fairly young man, but looking at his thin face you would feel as though ou were staring into the face of death. The Top hat reminded me of slash.
But then again, I really like the wa the game engine makes him look and I think it's a great refrence for how the character is supposed to look.as I literally created him from the ground up in the editor.
I was going to start getting commissions of my main Luptonius.
I just want to know how this would do for an artists guide.
Theres a few people I'm planning on getting stuff from, I just want an opinion on the guide, and any changes I could make to make it better.