New Story up.


MrsAlphaOne

 

Posted

http://pandora114.deviantart.com/art...ieves-70364811

There we go a little Segue betwen "Interludes" so to speak.

Oh yeah EDIT: NSFW (mostly language and one scene)


@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all

 

Posted

&gt;.&gt; It sucks that bad eh? Lol


@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all

 

Posted

Yes. Even ignoring the subject matter (i don't really want to read a story about your character biting off a Bane Spider's [censored]), it has pretty poor flow and the grammar and spelling are quite bad in places which makes it hard to follow.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Yes. Even ignoring the subject matter (i don't really want to read a story about your character biting off a Bane Spider's [censored]), it has pretty poor flow and the grammar and spelling are quite bad in places which makes it hard to follow.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm editing the story bit by bit as I notice errors.


@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all

 

Posted

Oh yeah and Pantsy has the story in her hot little hands...so it's gonna get all edited nice and shiny. I tried...but my grammar fails...


@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all

 

Posted

oooo.... darling, I have to start writing again or you're going to take my throne!!

I love it =)


 

Posted

YES You do! I Wanna know what happens to Bubble Gum!!! damnit


@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all

 

Posted

seriously.

I see I've a lot to learn with writing, as well.



"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
YES You do! I Wanna know what happens to Bubble Gum!!! damnit

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, as you wish *wink*


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
YES You do! I Wanna know what happens to Bubble Gum!!! damnit

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, as you wish *wink*

[/ QUOTE ]

I've always been a Posi groupie...

*hides*


@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all