Hey mate, how's it going?
Um, this is a story, right? Well, under that assumption, I think you may need some help.
Firstly, the length might need to be worked on. One paragraph won't do much in anyone's mind, so I may be able to help you flesh it out.
All of a sudden Energy Attacker and 12 Longbow jump out in front of us. "Stop in the name of the law!" Yells Energy Attacker.
Here, let's add a bit of description.
Coming from the blue, 12 Longbow agents surrounded me, training their weapons upon me and Dr. Theed. A thirteenth, more unique character, joined their group, his eyes hard and focused on us.
Settling back into a fighting pose, I flexed my hand experimentally. A worried look crossed some of the newer Longbow recruit's faces, but the Captain settled them down with one direct look.
Tension filled the air, Dr Theed shuffled restlessly next to me, his outstanding mind go through various scenes and possible strategies to get us out of this mess. Catching my eye, he nodded twice, giving me a signal we had agreed upon before we had entered into this melee. Moving at impossible speeds, I quickly knocked out two Longbow Agents and spun wildly, searching for my next victim.
"Stop in the name of the law!" The strange, thirteenth member of the Longbow group said. A memory sparked in my mind, and I quickly assumed that this was the hero called Energy Attacker. Leaping for me, his hands began glowing as he manipulated the energy flowing through the air, intent on causing me harm.
Dr Theed reacted quickly. Pulling a small laser gun from his pocket, his sent two, small concussion blasts into the chest of the hero, throwing him into the air and away from me. While the Longbow agents were watching their hero fly for the first time, I used their distraction to disarm, knock out, or in the case of one, unfortunate Longbow, kill.
Satisfied, I smiled evilly, sharing a triumphant look with Dr Theed.
"Mission complete."
See how I fleshed that half of the paragraph into roughly three paragraphs? It can be as easy as that. Describing how things look, feel, sound, taste or smell can increase the length by tons, keep the readers interested and other people smiling.
C ya!
Guiding Spirit
[ QUOTE ]
I'm DARK-Bot 1. Part of Arachnos Project DARK (See Arachnos Project DARK). My contacts tell me that Longbow has set up a base in Mercy Mercy. I've brought my teammate, Dr. Theed to help me clear it out. I've also heard that the hero, Energy Attacker is there. Right now we're on the first floor. Longbow is crawling all over the place. Coming from the blue, 12 Longbow agents surrounded me, training their weapons upon me and Dr. Theed. A thirteenth, more unique character, joined their group, his eyes hard and focused on us.
Settling back into a fighting pose, I flexed my hand experimentally. A worried look crossed some of the newer Longbow recruit's faces, but the Captain settled them down with one direct look.
Tension filled the air, Dr Theed shuffled restlessly next to me, his outstanding mind go through various scenes and possible strategies to get us out of this mess. Catching my eye, he nodded twice, giving me a signal we had agreed upon before we had entered into this melee. Moving at impossible speeds, I quickly knocked out two Longbow Agents and spun wildly, searching for my next victim.
"Stop in the name of the law!" The strange, thirteenth member of the Longbow group said. A memory sparked in my mind, and I quickly assumed that this was the hero called Energy Attacker. Leaping for me, his hands began glowing as he manipulated the energy flowing through the air, intent on causing me harm.
Dr Theed reacted quickly. Pulling a small laser gun from his pocket, his sent two, small concussion blasts into the chest of the hero, throwing him into the air and away from me. While the Longbow agents were watching their hero fly for the first time, I used their distraction to disarm, knock out, or in the case of one, unfortunate Longbow, kill.
Satisfied, I smiled evilly, sharing a triumphant look with Dr Theed.
"Mission complete."
Thanks Guiding Spirit
You done bumping your own thread?
Sort of... you know... illegal.
I'm DARK-Bot 1. Part of Arachnos Project DARK (See Arachnos Project DARK). My contacts tell me that Longbow has set up a base in Mercy Mercy. I've brought my teammate, Dr. Theed to help me clear it out. I've also heard that the hero, Energy Attacker is there. Right now we're on the first floor. Longbow is crawling all over the place. All of a sudden Energy Attacker and 12 Longbow jump out in front of us. "Stop in the name of the law!" Yells Energy Attacker. Thinking quickly Dr. Theed shoots him with a laser blast and I send the Longbow flying with a super punch. The heroes down and all of the Longbow are cleared out. Mission complete.