More, please!
"And in this moment, I will not run.
It is my place to stand.
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands."
heh im working on part 5 right now kinda tuff.
Haha, this is pretty good. I won't say anything about the formatting, since you already. . . Whoops. Anyway, I won't say anything else. 
But yeah, it's looking pretty good.
((now mind you its been 4 months since part 4 i thought i chould beat part 4 but i cant *sniff* and yes formatting sucks. Oh and there is 6 parts Part 6 might take at least 2 weeks to do cause it has to be awsome and blow the rest out of the water.))
(The Long Wait)
Part 5
I awoke in the crey capsule or what i thought was the crey capsule.
What it really was, was a med bed new the the paragon hosptial.
News got around fast about my sister and there were alot of heros gatherd for her funeral.
I even got a phone call from statesman pfff like that ment anything to me at the moment.
All i wanted was one thing REVENGE to recluse and all his lackys.
I left the hosptial after throwing all the stupid cards and flowers away.
Im no sap.
It wasnt hard to follow Recluses backtrail he left minion at every stop.
Which was okay with me i needed some good old fashion killing.
I was tired of playing goodie goodie and watching friends die.
Now they pay.
I went into a group of ten archnos killing five quickly by throwing spines towards there necks one came untop of me i stabed him in the gut and pushed down.
But my hunger wasnt done oh no not by far.
Four left i smiled whch one of you dies first.
Three came at me one ran.
I jumped at two of them sliceing them in half threw spines ant the runner knocked him down dead.
Now theres one left i had time to play.
I beat him from a inch from life while questioning him on got the information i needed.
I now know were Recluse is.
He will pay.
I head out towards his bas killing sevral of his servents on my way.
I brake in destroy his gaurds.
Now nothing in the way of him and me.
We lock eyes
He grins.
Looks like this fight has been long awatied eh Mr. Mathews
We start running towards each other my spines at the ready his extra arms at the ready.
Let the fight begin.
(To Be Continued)
Intereshting... Vewy Intereshting...
*Ahem*. I mean, so far, a rather good plot. As you said, the format is sort of messed up, but I am a grammar nazi, so I noticed quite a few missing punctuations, but, hell, I get A+'s in English, and I have never gotten anything less. What do you want from me?!!/1!!!?
*Ahem again*... Continue, for thou art needing to... Continue!
Well, I think most of the grammar "flaws" would be fine if the format was more fluid... Which, by the way, in Part 2 there was a huge improvement in formatting. =)
Sui, you have a wonderful "stream of consciousness" style of writing which really compliments the way you tend to write in the first person, for instance "I" or "Me." When I read your writing I feel like someone is telling me the story, which, in my opinion, is pretty cool.
Just keep practising with format and some punctuation and you'll be top notch in no time.
Thank you for the comments guys please keep them comeing. :P
Looking good Sui, keep 'em coming! 
It's nice to see all the parts so far in one thread, hehehe
((Please all you Rpers out there let me know what you think of the story as a whole and the plot line. i do know it could be formated better but please bare with it.))
From the eyes of suicidearmy)
New to Jagged Legion, I have seen many things good and bad but nothing will prepare me for things to come.
For I know that there is an evil beyond anything I have ever imagined ahead of us.
It has always been there, watching us, when we fight the constant attacks of villians. It has always been there,
when we were locking Beef Cake in the bathroom after he's been in there awhile.
We all feel it we, know it's coming.
The question is are we prapared for those things to come?
(Part 1)
Well, it was Thursday night and we were all doing different things.
Beef Cake was in Recluse's Victory, tearing it up looking for some shiny metal thing.
Loridai was pounding on some poor guy that challenged her, poor guy. And I believe I was with Lazulie, Pro Zack, and Miss Moonlight at the time, beatin' the hell out of some of the Circle of Thorns.
Those [censored] really piss me off sometimes.
Always capturing people, thinking they can do some kinda spell to defeat us, but it usally ends up with them seeing us, and us pounding their faces in.
Anyways, we all got this feeling that we needed to go to Recluse's Victory.
So we all formed up with Beef Cake. We were really wondering why we were there, but all we know is that we needed to be here.
So we're looking around and the ground started to shake as bright, red lighting flew from the ground.
It got really loud, I mean really loud. I couldn't even hear myself speak and then boom.
It got quiet, not one sound. It was really, really deathly quiet. And then BOOM!! All hell broke loose. We all flew back and were hurt
pretty badly. There were villians everywhere; Circle of Thorns, Outcasts, Trolls, Rikti, Arachnos... I mean all of them. The sky was darkened with them.
I'll admit I was scared off my [censored] becasue the hospital Reclamator was down so when you're defeated out here you're done.
Finished.
Dead.
Anyways, a group of Rikti come in and quickly tried putting us to sleep but I burst my spines up, formed some in my hand, threw them with quick speed and... Nothing?!
I didnt even hurt it.
I was getting really pissed, I turn behind me and none of us were doing damage to anything. What the hell was happening?!
Then we started falling. First was Lazulie. Then Moonlight. Oh, my god, what is happening?!
Pro Zack was next as a werewolf pounced on him.
Oh, god, not Loridai. Please, god, no!
I turned around and, oh man, Beef is awesome. He was holding of 20 of them! But finally, they took him down too.
As I stood there, alone, all of the sudden untouched, watching my friends die before me, I wept as I tried and tried to kill those [censored] that killed my friends.
And, in the middle off all my rage, frustration, and sadness,
I woke up in my bedroom with sweat and tears on my face. Whew, it was only a dream. Or was it things to come?
(to be conitueed)
Part 2
"...When you think you'll lose, you've already lost. When you think you've won, you're victorious..."
The next day, when I told Pro Zack about my dream, he patted me on the back and said, "Hey buddy, it was just a dream. Relax. I'm going to El Super Mexicano in a few, want anything?" I was so not hungry, so I declined, but thanked him for the offer. Pro Zack left the base with a wave.
So the only two people left in the base were Lazaloo and myself. She was floating in the air, mumbling something, as I plopped down in a chair across the room. I started dozing off when the Com went off. It was the Beef man! He was having trouble, and let me just say for the record, if Beef Cake says he's having trouble, that means its bad. I quickly woke Laz, although I think she was a bit annoyed by it. The smack she gave me might have something to do with it, maybe?
The problem was in Peregrine Island. A Quarry was lured to and was attacking rookie heroes near the ferry. Beef Cake was hurting a little; Laz knew right away. She ran in and with a wave of her hand, Beef Cake was completely healed. Even the wear and tear on his clothes had been mended. Everytime I see that, it boggles my mind. I mean, I have my own regen healing powers, but it has its limits and it only affects me. Hers, on the other hand, sometime seems limitless.
Well, I wanted to get in the battle already, so I focused my senses as spines burst out all over my body and a long sharp spine coming out of each arm. I look over at Beef Cake. Oh sweet! He was doing my favorite attack of his, the one where he twirls his arm. When he made contact with the Quarry, there was a loud crack and the monster was airborne. When it landed, it made a huge crater.
I smiled and said, "Oh yeah, Beef! Watch this!" I ran up the Quarry's body, did a backflip and slammed my spines home. And again, the monster was airborne. Beef chuckled as he looked at me, I saw the familiar smirk, as he said "That's nothin!" He then slammed his foot on the ground and the Quarry went flying for the third time. Finally, Laz came up to us and smacked us both on the behind, and said, "Alright boys! Can we have this pissing contest another time? It's time we finished this..."
Beef and I look at each other, smiled and agreed. Laz finally cracked a smile, as she said, "Hey Sui, time for a powerup!." She touched my wrist with her hands (which were now glowing) and I instantly felt like a million bucks. My spine started glowing red and I felt raw power inside, wanting to be let loose. I looked at Beef Cake and asked him if he was ready. He chuckled again, muttered something about being born ready, and we both went in. Five minutes later, the three of us were looking down at a pile of rubble in victory, so we decided to celebrate at Pocket D. But alas, as soon as we were about to head out, the Com went off. It was Miss Moonlight!
"Guys!! He's out here in Recluse's Victory!! And he's attacking everything and everyone in sight! Icebox, Dyre Knight, and Jason the X are already engaged in keeping the innocent alive but we need more help!!. I've contacted Pro Zack, Choseone and Mig. They are already on their way, so get your butts over here, pronto!
*sigh* a Heroes job is never done...what was that quote Romatohm said?...oh yeah...A Hero Does as Hero Should...
(to be continued)
Part 3
(To be or not to be, that is the ultimate question)
The disturbance was form a bunch of villians of the stalker and brute types. They had been attacking the hero pillboxes. After several attacks and defeats the villians were thinning in numbers. As my supergroup arrived at the final pillbox, the last of the villians were putting up a good stand. As the rest of my team were engageing a brute in rock form, I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and there was the most beuatiful woman i had ever seen. She smiled and waved both her hands towards me. All at once, I was in love with her and I would do anything to be with her even for a sliver of time. The team approached her, ready to attack her. Why??? I cant let this happen! She hasnt done anything wrong. So i did the one thing I thought I would never do. I stood in front of her, ready to attack my own super group. Pro Zack looked at me angrily and said, "Sui get your [censored] out of the way, she is a villian. A dominator type." "LIES!!! she innocent!" I scream back. Icebox looks at Pro Zack and says, "Damnit, dude, Sui is confused under her spell!" All Pro Zack could say was "[censored]!!!" I was about to charge in with all my fury, as the woman behind me smiled waved and left. But Beefcake was there like a flash grabbing me in a great big bear hug and sqeezing me, saying over and over again, "Calm down little buddy, no one here is going to hurt you." I was getting out of control, spines going everywhere. Pro Zack made the decision that I was a greater risk then the woman, which just upset me even more. Pro Zack screamed at Laz and Moonlight get over here. "Girls, quick!" They came up in front of me on each side. I was screaming at them not to touch me. To get away. Then the girls started glowing, getting closer and closer. I tried to get away and fought Beefcakes embrace, but he kept his grip with ease. Then with a sudden release, I flew foward. Moonlight and Laz caught me, still glowing. They both hugged me and in my mind all I heard was, "Its alright Sui, we're here." And then I saw everthing thing like I had a new sight. I saw it so clearly. "Oh God! What have I done? How can they trust me now?" And then darkness........
"Blake........ Blake Mathews........" I started stirring. It was my sister, Sue (later to be known as Hard Rock Sue). I had worked late last night for the Suicide Squad Division of the Paragon Police Deparment for almost certain death missions. This was a squad for heros with lower powers. What I had was a fast regeneration rate. I got up, kicked my sister out of my room and started getting my uniform on and man I love my beret! I always thought it looked good on me. I was getting ready for a raid tonight on a Crey base that was heavily fortified. It was a solo mission. Simple. Get in get intel and get out, then report. Well, I got there, saw only 1 guard and thought almost immediately that something was wrong, but I ignored it. Being the cocky youngster I was, I got in the base with ease and smiled, "This'll be easy." All of a sudden, all the lights came on and I was surrounded by about 50 Crey. There was no way I was getting out of here alive. "So, I'll go down fighting." I thought to myself. I got into my stance then i heard a whisper, very faint, saying "There is no need to fight Mr. Mathews. We dont want you dead yet." Then bam!!! I was frozen in place. Shot by one of those icey crey pistols. "We have you now, Mr. Mathews. Oh, by the way, you were turned in by your on squad." BETRAYED!!!
They had me laid out in a capsule the whole time. All I can think of is revenge to the Suicide Squad. That was my drive, that was my will power, that is what kept me from screaming from the hours upon hours of testing the crey were giving me. Then they started pouring poison gas into my capsule. I would choke, gag vomit, and pass out. But my regenaration powers kept me alive every time. They were done. They had picked me up, taken some blood, sprayed me down and threw me back in the capsule. This went on for 6 mounths. My body became immune to the poison and started producing its own. The next day, the regular routine on me continued, but something was different. It hurt, not my breathing, not my eyes, but my whole body. My skin was burning like nothing I had ever felt before. It felt like something trying to get out of me. Trying to poke out of my skin. And then it happened. Poison spines burst from my body, over and over again. Going everywere. They went into to the machines, destroying them. Suddenly, they went into the Crey employees, killing them instanly. A few of the armored gaurds came in, loaded to the teeth, but there was no stopping these spines. These spines were hungry and they wanted revenge. I was shot with a crey pistol and the ice started forming over me. "Not this time punk." I screamed as I broke free. A long spine in each arm grew out like long swords. Some even formed in my hands, like darts. I threw some at the man who had shot me. He died instanly without even a grunt. The other 3 tried to form up on me, but I took two more out easily. The last one charged at me. I did a backflip and sliced him in two. I looked around at what I had done and laughed like a mad man. Then as quick as they had come out, the spines withdrew. The pain was so intense that I passed out.
Sui... Suicidearmy... I awoke with a sudden slap to the face. It was Dar Kin. He told me that the base had been attacked by Captain Mako and Ghost Widow. Everyone was fine and gave chase. I looked around and the base it was in ruins. Even my favorite chair was in pieces. Dar Kin said, "It is time to go, Sui." I nodded and we headed out for yet another battle.
(to be continued)
PART 4
( I was blind but now I see )
Dar-kin and I had arrived in the heat of the battle. They were all
fighting
Captain Mako, Ghost Widow was no were in sight, and then my comm went
off.
It was my sister.
ksssssk Sui kssssssk need help kssssskk No way I can hold them!
Kssssssssssk. I left the battle without telling a soul. It was my
sister
who was in trouble. I arrived in the hollows near a cave and saw my
sister.
I asked her what was wrong, but she only looked at me, gave me a hug,
and
then pointed around the cave. It was Lord Recluse himself!!! Oh, how
I
hated this villain of all villains.
Sue looked at me and said, Lets go get him big brother.
I agreed.
We ran in towards him and as soon as he saw us all he did was smile and
say,
Everyone welcome the Mathews family.
Sue and I quickly dispatched of Recluses minions and came face to face
with
him. He was laughing and quick like lightning he destroyed my comm
set. He
chuckled again, No need for that. I dont think youll be leaving
here,
Suicide Army!!! He came in upon us, quickly throwing Sue 50 feet
before
she could even respond. Oh how that angered me. I burst my spines and
charged. We went back and forward several times until finally he
stopped me
by a double uppercut. It was like being hit by a building. As I laid
there
injured Recluse came down with the final stroke but Sue was there!! In
granite form.
Lord Recluses robotic arm just made a screeching noise as it came down
on
her chest and then Recluse started getting mad. He was feverishly
attacking
Sue, breaking pieces away from her bit by bit.
I know there is a soft spot under all of this!! growled Recluse.
Sue looked down to me, smiled, and took her com off. Then she slapped
it on
my wrist. I started crying and kept saying, No, no, no, no Just give
me a
sec. Ill be fine. But I knew that wasnt true.
Sue said, Hey big brother, it was fun and I love you but my time is
over.
I will always be in you heart. Tell Myst that she was right. Then
she
laughed, ..and tell Lori nanner nanner she never got me. With that
she
pushed the emergency teleport button on the wrist com. I screamed with
sadness.
5...
She grabbed Lord Recluse and forced him back. Go Sue!!!
4.....
She uppercuts him and he falls back.
3......
Oh no, Ghost Widow is here in the shadows.
2......
Ghost Widow grabs Sue with the souls of the dead, lifting her in the
air.
Recluse was laughing like a mad man
1 .
I I love you big brother. I loved you all
Recluse came down on her with the finale stroke. I teleport. I came
back
into the base crying. No one was here. Sirens were going off all over
the
place. What the hell was going on?? But I didnt care My sister
just
died for me.
Why for me?
I passed out... I awoke in a Crey capsule. Oh god not again!!!
( To be continued )
(