What's wrong with this town? (Short, humour)

((Feel free to add on, if you like! This isn't meant to be a masterpiece. ))

"Hey, Hidden."
"Whadda ya want, Fiz?"

Physic Defiance looked pensive for a moment, before responding.
"Do you ever think that this city is a little… odd? There are a few things I've noticed, and it's starting to freak me out."

"You mean the freaks that we arrest up on a regular basis? They creep me out."
"No, but there is something very wrong with this town."
"Elaborate."

She stared around, looking for anyone who might be listening in. The park was empty, thankfully, and the only people in sight was a small group of hellions in the distance.

"Well, for one… Why are there so many bad guys here in the first place? The city is overrun with heroes and longbow, why to the gangs and organisations stay HERE of all places?"

Hidden Incognito thought about it and shrugged. There wasn't really any reason. The villains were always here, and that was what everyone was used to.

"The other day I was in the hollows, searching out Frostfire."
"Yeah, slimy bugger."
"I found him, of course, and sent him off to the Zig."
"Good for ya!"
"But five minutes later I heard a broadcast calling for help to beat Frostfire."
"Humm. The Zig has gone downhill lately."

She stared at her pink companion, slack-jawed at his utter stupidity. She shook it off, however, as she thought of something else.

"Hidden, where are the children?"
"… In school?"

"No, really. Why are there no babies, or children or teenagers. What happened to them?"
"They hang at the mall."
"…What mall?"
"There's no mall?"
"No. No mall." She assured him, with a hint of dark humour.
"A city this size -?"

He seems to be getting freaked out. Good.
"No mall." She repeated. He thought it over.
"No clothing stores?"
"No, only Serge."

"Now that you mention it, Fiz, I can see where you're going… Ever notice the police drones?"
"Ha! Exactly! What's up with 105 North Ave? Why do they always need backup!? I'm telling you, this city is… wrong."

They sat, looking around, working themselves into frenzy.

"Why are there so many abandoned offices and warehouses in such a huge city?"
"How can people be hit by a truck or train, and not even react?"
"Why are there no bicycles?"
"Where did all the washrooms go?"
"Why does the public have access to the sewers?"
"With all the gravity controllers running around, why is there not a shortage of forklifts and pool tables?"
"Why can't the general public be resurrected in the hospitals?"
"How come I don't have any real money?"
"Why is there no rush hour?"
"How come I can't fly higher than the tallest skyscraper?"
"What's to stop the villains from taking over Pocket D?"
"Why don't force fields protect me from being slapped?"
"How many people keep a boom box in their pockets?"
"Why am I pink?"

They stared at each other with fearful eyes, panting heavily. Without any form of communication, they both leapt to their feet and ran toward the base portal.
"Forget this crazy town! I'm going back to Canada!"

[ QUOTE ]
"What's to stop the villains from taking over Pocket D?"

[/ QUOTE ]

((Because violence is physically impossible in the D. Try to attack someone. Try it.
Can't do it, huh?

Aside from that, gave me a laugh))

(( Pretty funny , alot like the City of Zeroes web comic where NPC's have "issues" with Paragon City... like why heroes always know where the enemies will be, and why they have these white brackets around them whenever a hero is looking at them. Very good though do some more ))