~PlOiNk~
I liked it i really did , the mysterious aspects of it were espically well written 
*BlInG*
* Still need responses plz 
*
I liked it. Maybe it was just the name "Gear" but it reminded me of metal gear solid and how the projects would be described in those games. Which is a good thing. It was probably the name "Gear". 
Ok, first, I have too say that it's great stuff. Much better that what we can usually see.
So, all the following remarks will be needle-picking. Purposelly. As I don't see any real drawbacks to your work, I think that it is what you are looking for.
[ QUOTE ]
Case entry 1.
The Crey Industries have (...) highly acclaimed scientists in the areas of Bio Molecular Science (Dr. Philip North USA, Dr. Raymond Saswell Canada & Sonja Jensen Norway), Nano Medical Technology (Dr. Phd. Anna Mommo Denmark, Dr. Bjorn Anderson Sweden, Dr. Rita Hubert USA & Dr. James J. Dunhill USA), Advanced A.I. Science (Dr. Phd. Gregori Lavrov Russia, Dr. Phd. Kristian L. Amdisen Denmark & Dr. Robert Dunn Great Britain) to name some of the most prominent of the recruited.
[/ QUOTE ]
Not a single Japanese? But these guys are supposed to be among the top in term of eletronic and miniaturisation, I think they would be likelly to have some very good scientist in "cyborg-making" -He, I said I would be picky! 
Plus, instead of: Kristian L. Amdisen Denmark, I would write Kristian L. Amdisen Royal University of Copenhaguen, Denmark it would add a little something I think. You can also use company name (why not using name of certain of the techno stores in Parangon) and put some guys in the same university, suggeting they work together (research is teamwork nowadays). Also, don't hesitate to put people from different country in the same university, scientists tend to travel alot...
[ QUOTE ]
Crey Industries has started an ongoing investigation and surveillance on the Gear Project and will add notes to this report in the future.
End log
[/ QUOTE ]
I like the ...End log, but you don't use it for all the logs... I think you should (Copy-Paste is cheap nowadays)
[ QUOTE ]
Case entry 2.
Surveillance reports show high activity at the Gear Project base of (...) within the Gear Projects compounds.
[/ QUOTE ]
I would add:
within the Gear Projects compounds (Deployement protocole 222C)
[ QUOTE ]
Case entry 4.
(...) included a symbiosis of a Super A.I. and her own brain. The following was attached as working notes in the attained Gear Project files:
[/ QUOTE ]
Here I would do something else...
"attached as working notes in the attained Gear Project files ( cf Document X5B1-DELTA-C90-AxA and Document X5B1-DELTA-C90-AxB
X5B1-DELTA-C90 Annex A
After having heavily seda (...) tasks
X5B1-DELTA-C90 Annex B
Working with Annas body (...) and identification system
It seems more natural for me that the guys would reference the documents (a copy of witch would anyway be conserved instead of quoting them)
Another thing, is that the guy refer at the hero as "Anna"...
Well, it may be on purpose by you as he switch to GearX toward the end of the text (in order to show the character being less and less human and more and more machine...) but I wonder if it would be more efficient to refer to her as "The subject". It would reinforce the idea of a surgically cold emotionless ******* that the guy is... (Plus, I am just thinking of it but why not saying that's this report is written by an ex-collegue of her, working on the same team for years before being recruited on the same project, it would be even more chilling!)
[ QUOTE ]
Unfortunately we had to amputate Annas arms today as they seemed to have gotten infected with some sort of virus. (
)
Accidents rarely come in ones.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well, in these parts, the guys show emotions and subjectivity.
It does not really fit, in my opinion, in the overall tone of the text (the surgically cold...). Especially the second one. I think the guy would be cold and factual. Plus it may be interesting to set the action on future (instead we had to say i appears that an infection... We took the decision to amputate the arm...) I don't know, it's purelly personnal here.
Also, virus infections rarelly need amputations. Amputations are more required for bacterial infections (gangrene is bacterial). It is due to the fact that virus are generally present throughout all the body even if they may reproduce only in one type of tissue... Anyway, I am probably the only one which may notice... If you want, you can use the bacteria Staphilococcus epidermitis (according to scientfic convention, you have to write the name in italic, I have no idea if such a report would follow scientific convention) which is well known for infecting patients after surgery and for colonising prosthetic device (synthetic hip, artificial heart valve and so on). Drawback of that, it is a well-known bacteria and would not require the isolation of the personal as you describe...
You can also make the guy suggest that Anna was treated with immuno-suppressive drugs to minimize the phenomenon of reject and that is likelly to have been a favorising factor in the developpement of the infection (BTW, yeah, I have a medical science background)
[ QUOTE ]
3 days ago (...) device, besides improved line of sight, includes a targeting system, heat scanners
It has come to Crey Industries attention that Gear X has been deployed into the streets of Paragon City, and that something apparently has gone wrong. It is estimated that The Gear Project has somehow lost connection to Gear X and is currently without any control of the Cyborg.
[/ QUOTE ]
I think that you need a more evident indication that the document is over and that you are back to the Crey report, I would had a " Case entry something. . " there
I would also modify it a wee bit:
" It has come to Crey Industries attention that Gear X has been deployed into the streets of Paragon City However, erratic behavior of subject Gear X suggest that something has gone wrong. It is estimated that The Gear Project has somehow lost connection to Gear X and is currently without any control of the Cyborg.
[ QUOTE ]
After analysing these newly attained information Crey Industries have decided to keep spy drones (...) information regarding Gear Xs powers and schematics as well as pictures is attached to this file.
end file
[/ QUOTE ]
Nothing to say about this part.
Ok, as I say, just little somethings to try helping you making your text even better...
Last remark, I don't know what you are attending to do with the char. And, is the sindicate a real group of villain? I never met them... If not, it may be interesting to suggest that the project was part of a council or a sky raider operation (any group of tech villain). This way you would have real reason for the tension between your char and these guys (provided your char get her memory back). It would let the door open for some interesting roleplay there (my toon have something against the Tsoo for example...)
Ok, good luck, hope some of my suggestions helped you and, once again, well done...
(Ps, sorry I was so long...)
Hi all
I have for some time now been trying to make a bio for my emp/dark defender Gear X. I have already made one for "in game", but due to the length restriction I have never found it to be fulfilling, so I´ve written an extended bio for CreyIndustries.com that I would like some feedback on ... So please feel free to comment ... Thx!
ID : X5B1-DELTA-C90
Crey Industries threat assessment regarding Gear X
Case entry 1.
The Crey Industries have for some time now been aware of a Syndicate influenced Tech Cell known as The Gear Project.
The Gear Project got the attention of the Crey Industries, after they recruited several engineers within a few months. All recruited engineers are highly acclaimed scientists in the areas of Bio Molecular Science (Dr. Philip North USA, Dr. Raymond Saswell Canada & Sonja Jensen Norway), Nano Medical Technology (Dr. Phd. Anna Mommo Denmark, Dr. Bjorn Anderson Sweden, Dr. Rita Hubert USA & Dr. James J. Dunhill USA), Advanced A.I. Science (Dr. Phd. Gregori Lavrov Russia, Dr. Phd. Kristian L. Amdisen Denmark & Dr. Robert Dunn Great Britain) to name some of the most prominent of the recruited.
Crey Industries has started an ongoing investigation and surveillance on the Gear Project and will add notes to this report in the future.
End log
Case entry 2.
Surveillance reports show high activity at the Gear Project base of operations.
A clearance has been given to further investigate this activity. As this entry is being written, spy drones and undercover agents have been deployed within the Gear Projects compounds.
Case entry 3.
Reports from the spy drones indicate that The Gear Project is working on a high tech droid project of some sort. Unfortunately no drone has been able to enter the working labs because of a highly advanced security system not known to the Crey industries. Undercover agents have been instructed to further investigate these security systems to attain access to the restricted areas.
Case entry 4.
An undercover agent has today been able to hack into the Gear mainframe and download vital information regarding the Gear Projects work in progress.
The files show that the spy drones were wrong and that the Gear Project is not working on a drone project. The project is called Gear X and is a revolutionary Nano Medical Technology Defender Cyborg. It seems that one of the before mentioned Engineers Dr. Phd. Anna Mommo has been involuntarily used as a shell for the Cyborg. The revolutionary work on her has included a symbiosis of a Super A.I. and her own brain. The following was attached as working notes in the attained Gear Project files:
After having heavily sedated Anna we started a 140 day work shift operating on her brain to make it function with the newly developed A.I. At first her brain showed no signs of working with the A.I., but after several modifications we discovered that instead of making the A.I. the primary functioning part of the operating system, letting the brain work as a main function with the A.I. as a stop functioning mechanism for unwanted behaviour worked much better. Annas brain accepted the A.I. and has started a rather unique symbiosis spreading to her brainstems and down her spine
The A.I. is now fully implemented in Anna body functions and behaviour and tests are looking good. We estimate that the A.I. will slowly take over more of the brains functions during the next 4 weeks, hopefully ending up with a 80-20 percent relation in the A.I. favour. It seems that we have been successful in deleting all Annas memories except those regarding her abilities in the Nano Medical field
We had our first conversation with Gear X today. It seems that the A.I. symbiosis project has been an unquestionable success. Gear X remembered nothing of its past life, but still had the ability to discuss, explain and carry out extremely hard Nano Medical tasks
In another note the chief robotic engineer writes about the work on using Anna Mommo as a shell for Gear X:
Working with Annas body as a casing for Gear X has proven extremely successful. It seems that given the time her body will appear like no modifications has been done to it. We have been able to implement the different cyborg parts into her leaving only small scars (approximately 2 centimetres long) on her upper body and thighs
Unfortunately we had to amputate Annas arms today as they seemed to have gotten infected with some sort of virus. All personel has been in isolation since the incident and new engineers are currently working on replacing her arms with a robotic device. Fortunately this gives us the possibility of implementing some strong Nano healing technology into her new robotic arms to optimise her healing abilities
Accidents rarely come in ones. 3 days ago we were going to attach Annas eyes to the New A.I. Unfortunately we could not get the A.I. to accept the tissue in her eye sockets. There seems to no way to make these two work together, so it has been decided today that she is to be equipped with the modified Alien artefact recently acquired in the Rikti space craft (See Log ID: 3408.76X6.001Z) The device, besides improved line of sight, includes a targeting system, heat scanners and identification system
It has come to Crey Industries attention that Gear X has been deployed into the streets of Paragon City, and that something apparently has gone wrong. It is estimated that The Gear Project has somehow lost connection to Gear X and is currently without any control of the Cyborg.
After analysing these newly attained information Crey Industries have decided to keep spy drones and undercover agents within the Gear projects base of operations.
A satellite has been deployed to follow and analyse Gear Xs every move in the streets of Paragon to fully catalogue its powers and to attain knowledge regarding whether or not The Crey Industries could have any interest in bringing Gear X in for research purposes.
Further information regarding Gear Xs powers and schematics as well as pictures is attached to this file.
end file