Be careful with who you fall in love with.
By
ActionmanIII,
Posted on: 2004-06-11 02:55 in Roleplaying
amen to that preacher
Firstly, people are probably going to yell at you and be generally trolly... Dont let them get to you, because your concerns are valid and presented maturely.
Part of the problem, I think, is that people have varying levels of role-play experience and expectations... and a lot people get way to wrapped up in what happens in game. Anytime you role-play something more then a friendship (and sometimes even then...) things can get a little weird, esp. if you and your character are drastically different.
My method of solving this is to be very upfront with people, and be sure that those I play with often establish a certain OOC rapport with me as well. Im not really interested or looking for long lasting RL friendships, but talking ooc about stuff from time to time is a nice dose of reality to remind people that you arent your character. In addition to that, if any sort of In-game relationship does develop, I try to be very clear about what it is and isnt... normally things like that sort out the people with issues and those that just want to tell good stories, (even more "mature" ones.)
Its tricky you know, but I think being upfront is the best policy for everyone involved. If they are going to blow up and be immature about it, better to do that sooner rather then later.
I wish there wasn't a need for this kind of post on the boards, but sadly enough there are certain people who take things too seriously. It's easy enough to get caught up in how one's character feels, as they are certainly a part of yourself, but some people don't know where to draw the line.
I totally agree with you, Ripper. I've cross-gendered in my time, and have been blessed by not having any weird girls get crushes on my male characters. (Though I have a faint recollection of some girl ignoring me after I told her OOC I was female... 
) It's tricky territory to begin with.
This babbled supportive post brought to you by 3am. 
"The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right."
- Mark Twain, Notebook, 1898
and
- Bart Allen, aka Impulse/Kid Flash/The Flash, Teen Titans v.3, #6
Frankly, I'm amazed so many people are able to roleplay with one another without ever talking to eachother OOC. Sure, it breaks the "vision" of the game for some people, but I always feel weird if people don't know at least a little bit of info about the guy controlling the character they're interacting with.
Having said that, the few times I've played non-male characters and roleplayed with anyone, I usually always establish my real-life gender. I don't actually come out and say, "By the way, I've got a.." or anything. But I drop hints that even a baboon could pick up on.
I'm not saying that's a precedent I would set for everyone, because many people will simply feel that their gender is no one's business. But, I kind of see it as a common courtesy to other players. I've met many people online who get burned when they put their heart into these kinds of things, only to later find out something that totally shatters their worldview. It's never a pretty picture, and I wouldn't want to be the cause of that for anyone.
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Firstly, people are probably going to yell at you and be generally trolly...
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Heh, heh. Have you seen my signature...
I don't fear the Trolls, I AM the Troll, mister.
Thanks for your support, and I will keep playing my female characters regardless. It's all part of the fun of role-playing. Besides, as I live in Australia, I doubt any American players will fly out here specially, just to meet me. 
Presently my one female char is on the test server. So I don't have that problem.
How can people harrass/fall in love with you, if you never see anyone?
On that note, with the char cloner in place I'm hoping that I see more people on test.
On the other hand, I hope they don't hit on me.
I personally only have 2 chars in the game as of this moment (yeah, I'm a nub), both of which are female, and yes, I am male. I personally chose female characters because I like their outfit selection more, and no, I don't play the lets see how slutty we can make this look game. I dunno, other than the suit that they have for male characters, I don't find others appealing at all.
Whereas I find Fox quite dashing!
With ya there! I'm a het male and I find my character Galactic Jack to be damn sexy. Sometimes after logging in I think he's so damn sexy that I find myself wanting to go touch myself... or stab him with a pair of tongs. :P
<clicks his tongs at Jack>
Gonna getcha... gonna getcha...
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and no, I don't play the lets see how slutty we can make this look game.
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My test for whether a female character is actually being played by a male: Does the char look like she pays for her super hero gear by streetwalking?
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and no, I don't play the lets see how slutty we can make this look game.
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My test for whether a female character is actually being played by a male: Does the char look like she pays for her super hero gear by streetwalking?
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As a male player who occasionally makes a female character, I somewhat take offense to that. 
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<clicks his tongs at Jack>
Gonna getcha... gonna getcha...
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Jack suffered a freak tong incident that nearly claimed his life at the age of 1252, it is his super hero weakness... oh wait no, his super hero weakness is earth women in bikinis.
I myself have a single female character... as in one character... not looking to meet people single... single = one... dammit... anyways, yeah, she's dressed up in buckles and leather topped off with sleek glasses and bright pink pigtails... but that's all because everyone from Tri-Sol Major is damn sexy... just look at Jack.
If she's anything like Jack, her and Sly should hit off very well indeed
As one who enjoys the roleplaying aspects of the game, I find no need whatsoever to divulge anything about the person behind the keyboard.
What does it matter who sits behind the keyboard? I don't care. All that matters are my reactions to and from those heroes and heroines my characters interact with.
I'm not looking for buddies nor am I looking for a love interest through this game, to me and many of those I play with, it is all about the roleplaying.
As far as OOC, I might tell you my age and certainly my part of the world I live in so that I can find others my own age and time zone to game with.
I have played PnP role playing games for over half my life, and have GMed/DMed more often than not. I too play females here on CoH, but I play guys too. Heck I even have a non-gendered robot (although the body type is a 'huge').
We're with ya mate. Hear hear to your post.
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My test for whether a female character is actually being played by a male: Does the char look like she pays for her super hero gear by streetwalking?
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A female friend of mine says one of the best tests is to see what they're doing during their downtime. If they jump all over the place - or simply just jump a lot at any time - they're usually guys.
I've started paying attention to that, for players I know of both sexes, and it does seem fairly true...
Fall in love.. hmm. Its really just a game, can't establish a relationship with the player.. don't know them, and Role playing is just acting for fun. But I can easily understand how some people may not be able to disassociate the two. Girls, Guys, or just plain non-gendered it makes no difference as long as they can portray the character well enough. I do agree with the OOC chat though, can be a nice way in showing that your still a person, that is different than the character. I find it helps ease off the odd factor when a character players gender is mentioned. Good post, with some good points.. and I agree with most of them.
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I like to play this character for the challenge. I dont get any sexual/kinky gratification in doing this. What I do get is a sense of satisfaction that I can play a character that is so different to me so well, that I am be complimented on my acting abilities. This sort of thing is not uncommon. The Japanese samurai of ancient Japan, for example, played both male AND female roles in their theatrical productions.
So the bottom line is this. If you want to have a fling with another character, and they agree to do it, then please be all means go ahead and have fun. However AT ALL TIMES remember
WHAT IS SAID IN GAME, WHAT IS EXPRESSED IN GAME
STAYS IN GAME!
Just because you have fallen for a virtual babe in game, DOES NOT mean there is that same babe on the keyboard, in real life. Please maintain your perspective, and understand that its a game.[/color]
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I understand where you are coming from, however, I do have a few comments to make... Male actors who play female roles are already known to be male's underneath, and thus stops any heterosexual male audience from being attracted to the actor. A male roleplaying a female is different from a male actor acting as a female character. You simply can't compare because when you roleplay, you are creating a character who socializes with real people and real feelings. A writer creates a character to satisfy a plot. Thus the actor acts to satisfy a plot.
Furthermore, in respects to your "WHAT IS SAID IN GAME, WHAT IS EXPRESSED IN GAME
STAYS IN GAME!" statement, not everyone treats online rpg's as another reality... I RP myself, and when I do roleplay, i do it as if i'm walking into a real life bar pretending to be someone else. I don't treat it as another world. Just think of it as walking into a place in real life and you'll understand it from another point of view.
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Furthermore, in respects to your "WHAT IS SAID IN GAME, WHAT IS EXPRESSED IN GAME
STAYS IN GAME!" statement, not everyone treats online rpg's as another reality... I RP myself, and when I do roleplay, i do it as if i'm walking into a real life bar pretending to be someone else. I don't treat it as another world. Just think of it as walking into a place in real life and you'll understand it from another point of view.
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Thanks for you understanding, it's reassuring to hear. However isn't what you propose a little dangerous?
I've been role-playing in both Pen and Paper and computer games for over 20 years now, and I found you HAVE to compartmentalise you're different characters. You have to be careful that things in the fantasy world do not leak into the real one.
It's a pity, but I have seen real life partnerships/friendships break up over something that happened between fictional characters in a fantasy setting. 
Sure. I all for having fond feelings and making friendships with other characters in game, but you have to have your boundaries in place and realise that this is indeed another world. I mean, as much as I want it, I, myself cannot fire bolts of energy or fly like a bird.
Bottom line... I just want the freedom and pleasure of role-playing my lady characters to the best of my ability, without hurting other peoples feelings if they misunderstand who I really am.
I guess there needs to be some kind of online gaming social ettiquette. I find there are so many views on how things should be and shouldn't be.
One can say if males didn't rp females, then we would all save ourselves the trouble of anyone getting emotionally hurt. But then again, that would take away the joy or challenge some males get from the difficult task of rp'ing a female appropriatly.
So it always seems to be a win/loss or a loss/loss situation.
I guess all my frustrations in these boards (especially over the game mechanics) have spread to the rp seciton... Im a business man and win/win situations always make the best sales, so why doesn't this board ever come up with any win/win resolutions?
sorry for the rant, i needed it...
Put "((I'm a male roleplayer))" in your ID?
now there's a solution that works!
good one!
I agree a OOC in your ID saying your male would be cool.
Ill be adding that in my one female RP toon tonight
As a hard core role-player I have really gotten into the swing of CoH, as a role-playing medium. However I have a possible issue, which I feel must be clarified so that other players do not get hurt by misrepresentations of the character they see in game, with the person behind the keyboard.
First off, my main character is female. I have received a number of compliments of how well I role play with this character, of which I appreciate. On person in particular I have been role-playing with for a number of weeks now. We have built an excellent repour, and I enjoy the challenge of role-playing, which this situation presents.
The last few days however, I noticed that some of the dialogue posed to my character is getting a little heavy. I have said nothing sexual, smutty of erotic, and the dialogue returned to me also does not contain the same, its all clean. However I can sense a certain emotional undertone, which makes me think that this player might want to take this character interaction into some type of virtual relationship.
Now I have no problem with role-playing my characters reactions to this type of thing, but I have to be careful that anything said in game, STAYS IN GAME.
Also the fact that I am a heterosexual, white male makes be concerned, that if this player found out who is at the keyboard, he might think that Im some type of weirdo who gets off on fooling men.
I like to play this character for the challenge. I dont get any sexual/kinky gratification in doing this. What I do get is a sense of satisfaction that I can play a character that is so different to me so well, that I am be complimented on my acting abilities. This sort of thing is not uncommon. The Japanese samurai of ancient Japan, for example, played both male AND female roles in their theatrical productions.
So the bottom line is this. If you want to have a fling with another character, and they agree to do it, then please be all means go ahead and have fun. However AT ALL TIMES remember
WHAT IS SAID IN GAME, WHAT IS EXPRESSED IN GAME STAYS IN GAME!
Just because you have fallen for a virtual babe in game, DOES NOT mean there is that same babe on the keyboard, in real life. Please maintain your perspective, and understand that its a game.