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Posts
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Joined
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Remember, if you get more than 3 GB of RAM you need a 64-bit operating system. 32-bit systems can technically access up to 4 GB, but in practice (in Windows at least) can only access 3 GB of RAM.
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*Bursts unexpectedly into thread again*
NOBODY expects the Troll Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: threadjacking, flames, ruthless ad hominems, an almost fanatical devotion to our posts, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! -
*Bursts unexpectedly into thread*
NOBODY expects the Troll Inquisition! Our chief weapon is flames ...flames and threadjacks...threadjacks and flames.... Our two weapons are threadjacks and flames...and ruthless ad hominems.... Our *three* weapons are threadjacks, flames, and ruthless ad hominems...and an almost fanatical devotion to our posts.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as threadjacking, flames.... I'll post again.
*exits thread* -
This is the greatest and best post in the world. . . tribute.
Long time ago me and my brother QuiteAmerican here,...
we was postin' down a long and lonesome thread.
All of a sudden,
there shined a shiny troll...
in the middle...
of the thread.
And he said:
"Write the best post in the world,
or I'll flame your souls."
Well me and QuietAmerican,... we PMed each other,
and we each said...
"Okay."
And we wrote the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Post in the World,
it was The Best Post in the World.
Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two,
two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
and the grass doth grow oooh
Needless to say,
the troll was stunned.
Whip-crack went his whippet tail,
And the troll was done.
He asked us:
"BE you Mods?"
And we said,
"Nay.
We are but posters
Rock!!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahn,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!
This is not The Greatest Post in the World, No
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Post in the World, No.
No!
This is a tribute, oh,
To The Greatest Post in the World,
All right!
It was The Greatest Post in the World,
All right!
And it was the best mother effin post,
The Greatest Post in the world!
And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the post we wrote on that fateful night it didn't actually read
anything like this post!
This is just a tribute!
You gotta believe it!
And I wish you were there!
Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, ****!
Good Mod, Mod lovin' ,
So surprised to find you can't stop me, now.
I'm on fire--
(The actual song "Tribute" by Tenacious D) -
You wanna post with me? You posting with the best! You wanna post with me? Okay. You little cockroaches... come on. You wanna play Forum Games? Okay, I post with you; come on. Okay. You wanna post rough? Okay! Say hello to my little flame!
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Sleestack Jr.- ShoNuff, ShoNuff! Why is he /ignoring us daddy?
Sleestack- Because we have to troll him.
Mod- Ok, We’re going in, Go, Go, Move!
Sleestack Jr.- He didn’t do anything wrong?
Sleestack- Because he’s the mayor CaH/VC deserves, but not what it needs right now. So we’ll flame him. Because he can take it, because he’s not our mod. He’s a not-so-silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Dark Tackler! -
General: The forum is heavily modded and carries a flamepower greater than half the boards. It's bans are designed around a direct, large-scale trolling. A small one-line poster should be able to penetrate the outer bans.
Gold Leader: Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are /jrangers going to be against that?
General: Well, the Studio doesn't consider a small one-line poster to be any threat, or they'd have tighter moderation. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Arcanaville has demonstrated a weakness in the forum. But the approach will not be easy. You are required to post straight down this thread and spam the tl;dr to this obvious point. The target area is only two pixels wide. It's a small hot air exhaust post, right below the main post. The "logic" leads directly to the facepalm system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction facepalm which should destroy the forum. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction facepalm. The "logic" is flame-shielded, so you'll have to use witty rejoinders.
Red 2: That's impossible! Even for a computer.
ShoNuff: It's not impossible. I used to bulls*** n00b rats on my N-64 back home, they're not much bigger than two pixels.
General: Then man your keyboards. And may the Farce be with you. -
You Maniacs! You threadjacked it! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
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[clang]
Bring out your dead horse!
[clang]
Bring out your dead horse!
[clang]
Bring out your dead horse!
[clang]
Bring out your dead horse!
POSTER: Here's one -- nine posts.
DEAD HORSE: I'm not dead!
MODERATOR: What?
POSTER: Nothing -- here's your nine posts.
DEAD HORSE: I'm not dead!
MODERATOR: Here -- he says he's not dead!
POSTER: Yes, he is.
DEAD HORSE: I'm not!
MODERATOR: He isn't.
POSTER: Well, he will be soon, he's very over-discussed.
DEAD HORSE: I'm getting better!
POSTER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MODERATOR: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD HORSE: I don't want to go in the Suggestions and Ideas forum!
POSTER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MODERATOR: I can't take him...
DEAD HORSE: I feel fine!
POSTER: Oh, do us a favor...
MODERATOR: I can't.
POSTER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MODERATOR: Naaah, I got to go on to PvP Zone -- they've lost nine today.
POSTER: Well, when is your next round?
MODERATOR: Thursday.
DEAD HORSE: I think I'll go for a walk.
POSTER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
DEAD HORSE: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[beats dead horse]
POSTER: Ah, thanks very much.
MODERATOR: Not at all.See you on Thursday.
POSTER: Right. -
Forumite: We have found a troll, may we flame it?
Forumites: FLAME!! FLAAAAME it!
Sleestack: But how do you *know* it is a troll?
Forumite: It posts like one!
Other Forumites: Yeah! It posts like one!!!
Sleestack: Bring it forward.
. . . .
Troll: I'm not a troll, I'm not a troll!
Sleestack: Er,...but you are repped as one.
Troll: THEY repped me down like this.
Forumites: No! Nooo! We didn't! We didn't!
Troll: And this isn't my avatar, it's a false one!
(Sleestack lifts up the avatar to reveal the poster's real avatar.)
Sleestack: (Turning to forumites) Well?
One Forumite: Well, we did do the avatar.
Sleestack: The avatar?
Forumite: And the reputation. But it's a troll!
Forumites: Yeah! Flame it! Flame! Flame it!
Sleestack: Did you rep it down like this?
Forumites: NO! No, no, no, no, no, no...
One Forumite: Yes.
Forumites: Yes. Yes. Yes. A bit. Yes. A bit. A bit.
Another Forumite: (hopefully) It has beat a dead horse...
Sleestack: What makes you think it is a troll?
Forumite: Well, it turned me into a newb!!
Sleestack: A newb?
Forumite: I got better...
Forumites: FLAME it anyway! Flame! Flame! Flame it!
Sleestack: Quiet, quiet, quiet, QUIET! There are ways of *telling* whether it is a troll!
Forumites: Are there? What? Tell us, then! Tell us!
Sleestack: Tell me. What do you do with trolls?
Forumites: FLAAAAAAME!!!!! FLAAAAAAME!!!!! You flame them!!!! Flame!!
Sleestack: And what do you flame apart from trolls?
Forumite: More trolls!
Other Forumite: n00bs.
Sleestack: So. Why do trolls get flamed?
Forumite: (tentatively) Because they're made of.....n00bs?
Sleestack: Goooood!
Other Forumites: oh yeah... oh....
Sleestack: So. How do we tell whether it is made of n00bs?
One Forumite: Build a PL bridge out of it!
Sleestack: Aah. But can you not also make PL bridges out of second accounts?
Forumites: oh yeah. oh. umm...
Sleestack: Does a n00b send a tell first?
One Forumite: No! No, no, it blind invites!
Other Forumite: Throw it into the Rude Tells thread!
Forumites: YAAAAAAAAHHH!
(when order is restored)
Sleestack: What also blind invites?
Forumite: RMTers!
Another Forumite: Broadcast spammers!
Another Forumite: Uh...very small Super Groups!
Another Forumite: Door sitters!
Another Forumite: Uh...badge hunters!
Another Forumite: Farm padders!
Another Forumite: PUG leaders!
Another Forumite: Leeches! Leeches!
ShoNuff: A Jerk Hacker!
Forumites: (in amazement)ooooooh!
Sleestack: exACTly!
Sleestack: (to a Forumite) So, *logically*...
Forumite: (very slowly, with pauses between each word)
If...it...blind invites the same as a Jerk Hacker......it's made of n00bs.
Sleestack: and therefore...
Forumite: A troll!
All Forumites: A TROLL!!
Sleestack: We shall use my Empathy Defender alt!
Sleestack: Right, log into the game!
(a blind invite comes from the suspected troll)
Forumites: A troll! A troll!
Troll: It's a fair cop.
Forumites: Flame her! Flame!
Sleestack: (to ShoNuff) Who are you who are so wise in the ways of forums?
ShoNuff: I am ShoNuff, Mayor of the Comic and Hero/Villain Culture Forum.
Sleestack: (kneeling) My liege! -
Took you long enough to post here. Took you ten years to post in my thread. Huh, what's the matter? You don't like my thread? Does my thread stink? That's right-it stinks! I didn't have no posts from you! Don't flame around me. Postin' about your prime. What about my prime, Ocho? At least you had a prime! I didn't have no prime. I didn't have nothin'! LoLs are goin', everything is goin'. Nobody's postin' no nothin'. Guy comes up, offers me a thread. Big deal. Wanna post the thread? Yeah, I'll post the big thread. I wouldn't wanna post. Know what's gonna happen to me? I'm gonna post that! I'm gonna post that! And you wanna be ringside to see it? Do ya? You wanna help me out? Huh? Do you wanna see me get my thread locked? LoLs ain't workin', nothing's workin', but they go, "Go on, flame the troll." Yeah, I'll flame him. Get my thread locked. And you come around here. You wanna post in here with me? Come on in! It's a nice thread! Real nice. Come on in and post. It stinks! This whole thread stinks. You wanna help me out? Well, help me out! Come on, help me out. I'm postin' here!
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Hello. My name is Sleestacko Montoya. You flamed my father. Prepare to be banned.
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Have you ever posted with the troll in the pale monitor light?
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"I can't do this, Sleestack."
I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be posting here.
But we are.
It's like in the great threads, Mr. Ocho. The ones that really mattered. Full of trolls and flames they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the forums go back to the way they were when so much trolling had happened?
But in the end it's only a passing thing, the trolls, even flames must pass. A new thread will come. And when the images are posted they'll shine out the clearer.
Those are the threads that stayed with you, that meant something. Even if you were too n00bish to understand why. But I think, Mr. Ocho, I do understand, I know now. Posters in those threads had lots of chances of lurking only they didn't. They kept posting. Because they were holding on to something.
"What are we holding on to, Sleestack?"
That there's some good in this forum, Mr. Ocho. And it's worth posting for. -
Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and post just one for the Gipper.
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It was the best of threads, it was the worst of threads; it was the age of flames, it was the age of n00bs; it was the epoch of scooped!, it was the epoch of tl;dr; it was the season of bans, it was the season of fix'd; it was the spring of LOL, it was the winter of
; we had everything to post, we had nothing to post; we were all going directly to the Forum Cartel, we were all going the other way.
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Listen, and understand. That troll is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop posting, ever, until you are banned.
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Hold your thread! Hold your thread!
Forumites of Paragon City, of The Rogue Isles, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. The day may come when the courage of forum posters fails, when we forsake our posts and break all bonds of flaming, but it is not this day! An hour of woe and shattered image tags when the forum servers come crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we post! By all that you hold dear in these good forums, I bid you post, Forumites of Comic and Hero/Villain Culture!! -
Good morning. In less than an hour, posters from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest flame war in the history of forumkind. "Forumkind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty trolls anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is Thursday, and you will once again be posting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from bannination. We are fighting for our right to post. To flame. And should we win the flame war, Thursday will no longer be known as a day before the weekend, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the three-day ban!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to post on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate Thursday!
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What is best in the forums?
To crush the trolls, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.