ridiculous_girl

you are worrying too much... just put up a promotion thread, post on a few review threads, etc... most people want a EB/AV warning. beyond that it will be up to people whether they like it or not, get it or not. maybe you will get good feedback as to how to better accomplish what you are trying to do.

[ QUOTE ]
*sings* And IIIIIIIIIII wanna beeeeeee Anarchyyyyyyy.

Wow, that's convoluted.

[/ QUOTE ]

welcome to my life...

Arc #161629: Freaks, Geeks, and Men in Black Arc

i played this with obvious girl, my lvl 32 MA/SR scrapper on heroic.

things that i saw and observed while i was playing.

missions one
maybe have clue with the notebook? ah, the notebook clue comes at the end of the mission...
the exit pop up is a little redundant.

mission 2
with the nav bar clue "why are the freakshow here?" it seems to indicate searching all the bodies...
you could give the noise tank a name...
in the crushifier clue it says "deliability' is this on purpose? probably a joke...

mission 3
the mission accept text is "he wrote down an address..." which makes no sense for accepting a mission
ok i am really confused now. who is pete? is he robert anderson? ooops it would seem so... the pwzinator description calls him robert anderson.

mission 4
is the shadow paragon protector the same as the paragon protector elite? in the PP elite description it mentions the other, but falls under the crey group. maybe it is just a confusing description.

mission 5
the ambassador's description kind of implies an escort, though he just runs away.
and what is chavez? an ally? she has not done anything except follow me around. is she on passive? i say leadship powers briefly, but that is all she display or assisted.

ok this is a pretty well written, obviously well edited story arc. i really liked it. it is very content rich and complicated. sometimes i wonder if i can complain if something is too complicated. there were couple of nit picks from an otherwise very nicely done arc.

the first occured last. your last mission is a timer mission. several problems occured in that mission. one is due to the patrols, all the allies with exception of officer chavez were alone by virtue of the wanderering friendly patrols. i just sort of ran into them randomly. i was not looking for them, though i see you mentioned them in the brief. i am guessing that chavez is very injured and that is why she did not do anything but passively follow? but the main problem is that i got chavez, i got the decoy, i eventually found all the allies, i killed off everyone, but still could not complete. this is a problem with a timed mission. i could not figure out what was the last objective was... was it a person? was it an object? i went everywhere. i eventually gave up and let it time out while i did other things. this ended with me failing the mission and the arc i guess... pretty downer for ending of the story. i guess that is what you wanted but it still sucks to fail like that. i have no idea what the final objective was and in a huge mission map like that did not help.

with such a complicated story with numerous clues, which i read, i am still not sure if it all makes sense. maybe if i had not failed the mission it would have all loose ends would be tied up but i do not know. one thing i do look for is original justification... why am i helping this guy? am i just walking down the street and this freakshow that claims to be reformed asks for help with his buddies? it is kind of a stretch for me. unfortunately i cannot reliably analyze the story, since it got cut off. seriously, i am a bit burned with having failing a mission arc because i could not complete the timed mission. it is one thing to fail a mission and then move on to the next one despite the set back. but to set up a player to fail the entire arc? that is a quite a gamble...

despite the big problem that i pointed out, it is a very well done arc and fairly complicated story. people will like that if that is what they are looking for. i did not rate your arc, how can i rate an arc that i failed? it was such a downer ending to a long and interesting play. i did like it. it was worth my time.

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure I want to know -- but maybe I do -- what gets one banned from the UK these days....

[/ QUOTE ]

ok long story short. i live in france under a tourist visa grey area. (this is the boring part...) the schenen visa zone falls in the european union, but there are several EU countries that are outside the schenen visa zone. UK, republic of ireland, romania, switzerland and bulgaria. in the schenen you can get a 90 day tourist visa. but, allegedly, you must leave the zone for 90 days. (this is where it gets interesting again...) so i have been living in france for the past 2 years, almost. every three months i hop out to some non schenen zone country for a week or so. once back to the US, once to north ireland, once to turkey, london several times, etc. the time that i went to north ireland, the belfast immigration gave me the third degree. they did not like my visa shennanigans. but hey... if the french immigration stamps me in each time, i get another three months. they. don't. care. but the belfast immigration officer must have been having a bad day. he called me an "immigration risk" and banned me for 6 months from returning. i eventually returned, but they have been giving me trouble each time. they cannot let it go. same thing again. they look at my passport, which is almost full again, and try to figure out my movement patterns and ask me what do i do, how long, how do i support myself, etc etc etc. my answers never seem to satisfy. i am a travel bum supporting myself with the us gi bill working on an online masters degree and i have been out and traveling for the past 3 years. not the conventional life... but since the french keep stamping me, i am not technically breakng any rule. they still do not like it... the funny thing is that they hate it, but keep letting me in. lecturing me that if the french do not let me in, they would send me back to the UK. that is why they are worried.

ok that was not so short after all... really it cracks me up. because even though they threaten and ban me, they still let me in. just a stern lecturing. but being banned a second is just not so punk rock anymore... i was wondering if they were going to go for something longer. oh well in 6 months i will probably go back. i think i am growing accustomed to their faces...

[ QUOTE ]
Well, it serves you right for your radical views.

[/ QUOTE ]

well, from a country that brought us monty python, you would think they would be more tolerant of ridiculous people. i was even incognito, i tried to look normal...

this is the second time they have banned me, i cannot decide whether i should be annoyed or amused.

[ QUOTE ]
Could you hold off on 161629 until tomorrow? I'm doing some tweaks to it today.

[/ QUOTE ]

will do... i do not think i am going to get much accomplished today anyways. let me know when you are ready.

i am back! london was a load of fun! i did get banned from the UK for 6 months. again. this is the second time! BAAAAANNNED in the UK... i was BAAAAAAANED in the UK... they hate me there... but how ridiculous is that? HAHAHHAHAHA!

but anyways... i will be starting up the rewiews again sometime soon. i will take new submissions again too. these arcs are the ones in my queue to play and review. if i am forgetting anyone let me know...

Freaks, Geeks, and Men in Black Arc #161629
Kung Fu on the Loose Arc ID: 77533
Ashley Porter and the Gorilla War Arc ID: 130809
Return of the Three Fold King Arc 163274

ok i am off for a couple of days. going to london for a few days, so no reviews until maybe thursday. then it will be back to the MA review grindstone again. have fun everyone... i know i will.

celebrity kidnapping arc 1388

i ran this mission with obvious girl, my MA/SR scrapper on heroic.

a couple of things that i saw...
mission 1
the family are 29 and the rest are 32
in paris description... should it be paris' instead of paris's?

mission 3
vincenzo is 32, every other family is 29

well i certainly wish more arcs were as sophisticated as this one was. nice neat story line, simple but really smart cutsom toons. the last mission was the most impressive use of triggered rescue captives, rescue allies and fight bosses that i have yet seen. i guess i will have to try out your other arcs, if they compare to this one they should be great.

the one hiccup that i saw was that the family that i saw were all level 29s, while i was level 32. i am figuring that this is because i was a hero and there is a gap in level ranges for family on the hero side? i have encountered other problems with groups in a similar fashion, carnies for example. the carnies have a start earlier for the villain side of things than the hero side... or is it vice versa? regardless i had a level 30-40 mission and i went in as a 30 hero and there were lvl 40 carnies. obviously this did not work. i suspect the same thing for the family.

otherwise great arc. i guess i will have to put another of yours in my play queue.

please run my hero therapy arc, listed below. that one is my favorite. the other i am reworking right now but still playable, if you wish.

[ QUOTE ]

As I think about it, I'm wondering if perhaps my character just sucks. Ashley's my first high-level Blaster, but I remember some conventional wisdom from a couple years ago, that Blasters become the most sucktastic archetype in the mid-to-late 40s. Like all the other archetypes catch up and surpass them in damage-dealing, but they can all take a punch, while the Blaster still can't. And come to think about it, I've been having a lot more trouble soloing Elite Bosses on regular missions too.

So it might be more that the game hates high-level Blasters than any problem with your arc as such.

I'll definitely give it a try on Heroic, or maybe with a different character, though.

[/ QUOTE ]

i have not played a high level blaster in ages. the original ridiculous girl is a fire/fire blaster. but i brought her to 50 ages ago and then took a three year break. my AR/DEV blaster is the first blaster i have gotten that high since RG. so i do not remember what it is really like at the high levels. that might be that case though. i have been mostly testing with the mid 30s group of toons that i have. when i took SS with my blaster i accidently aggroed her while i was laying the first trip mine. i did not even get one of those off. it may just be the build too. who knows... but i would grealy appreciate it if you played all the way through and came back and told me how it went.

it is funny though with the high level toons... i get grief from high level scrappers on the last boss often. that he is too hard, but it is predominately the high level scrappers that say this. i think people just get so used to playing a certain way that when the boss exploits their particular weakness they are very surprised. this is why i really like the MA system. we can get creative with the custom groups and if you fail to keep on your toes for new combination of powers, you are going to be hit hard. i was also thinking that it is never a good idea to get in a long distance shooting match with a EB level blaster...
RG

Arc #55761 Something to do with Fear by cwthorn

i ran this arc with the locksmith of love, a level 33 ILL/RAD controller, on heroic.


things i saw and obsevations...
mission 1
in the rescue text it says 'DON't'
in the exit brief it says 'used to be this was happening to one, two people at a time...' awkward sentence. i know you are trying to imitate someones speech, but it does not make sense on first reading.

mission 2
in opening brief it says ' He says the Archon left with a bunch of Reynolds' men. We've been keeping tabs on this Archon Reynolds' maybe you need to write out the archon names. i got confused
nightmare and spectral phobia have the same description
ok something is strange. it completed when i rescued the captive. but he behaved like he was a rescue ally. he had a follow/lost text. is he an ally, and if so why complete with him?


ok, there is a lot left to be desired here. you have a decent story here, and it has the potential to be much better.

just as a warning, now... i now am going to be critical and fairly negative... but that does not mean that the whole thing is crap and should be put out with yesterday's garbage. you have a story, you have missions, you have custom toons... you lack oomph. what i mean is you call this a horror/humourous arc, but it lacks a lot of both. you have the some of the elements, but you are missing a couple of things. part of it is that you are missing atmosphere and detailed content. also your arc seemed empty, but this is related to detailed content.

you need the atmoshere for the horror based. while the graveyard is a good start, the other two maps did not really fit. they fit the story, yes... but they did not create a good atmosphere. when i chose my maps for my therapy arc i not only chose them for how they looked, but also for how they sounded. some maps enhance their creepy atmosphere with creepy background sound. i think you need to explore the maps a little more and find one that suits what you are trying to achieve. the first map was an abandoned warehouse. it lacked tension. maybe this was because it was filled with bad guys just standing around. the only dialogue was from the rescue. there were no ambushs, no patrols, no extra dialogue and therfore was a big empty space with some bad guys, a couple of clues and a rescue.

with detailed content, as mentioned, you are sorely lacking. there are so many places you can put dialogue that fill in the great empty spaces that you had. this can both fill the humor and the horror aspects. in the second mission there were multiple battles, but no dialogue. this would be a great place for your humour. i imagine council screaming 'but i don't want my wisdom teeth pulled' while fighting the nightmares would be pretty amusing. multiple different dialogues please, repetition with multiple battles gets tedious. there were a lot of battles, but no action. nothing to fill the space and create the atmosphere beyond the setting.

you have a few monsters in your custom group, but not too many. with three missions, and the number of customs that i saw i am willing to bet that you had a fair amout of space left over. i say use that space till it is almost full. in my three mission arc i have about 13 custom toons. i am pretty sure you did not have that many, maybe 7? this is space that you should be using to flesh out your story. right now it seems like a story that is half finished. you have some good ideas with the toons, but there is a lot more that you can do with them. why not throw a doctor or a dentist in there? or a clown or aliens? who knows? i love my pop-up book of phobias and pop-up book of nightmares, they always come in handy for source material... there is a lot more you can throw in there that would fulfill what you are setting out to do.
but anyways... you have a story, but it is like a screenplay that has not been filmed yet. it is like it is still in reading of the lines phase and not even in dress rehearsal. i did not rate this arc because i did not feel that it was finished and i do not want to render judgement one way or the other. maybe if you work on it for a bit and come back to me and ask me to review it again i will.

try these two arcs that i really enjoyed for some ideas... Laugh? I Thought I'd DIE! Arc #68429 and Arc #51357: Rise of the Drakule. they are along the same kind of lines that i think you are going for. maybe they could provide some inspiration.

[ QUOTE ]
Well, I just tried Hero Therapy with my 47th level Archery/Devices Blaster, and it's one of several that I've found troublesome to review... because I REALLY liked it, up to the point I go up against an undefeatable enemy.

Despite several tries, I simply couldn't get past the Secret Shame and her 578 point Fireballs. Allies are a good thing in this regard, but the problem is, once they get killed off, they can't come back. Not to mention that she has those little Red Cap bastards with her, too! (Also, I never found the Librarian in that one, not that it would've made much difference.)


[/ QUOTE ]

ok i just ran my arc, twice. once with the locksmith of love, my level 33 ILL/RAD troller, and with tired of it ALL, my level 33 AR/DEV blaster. i did not encounter any unusual problems. i got a second complaint about SS being too difficult. so i checked her out. she is a melee fire blast/fire armor elite boss and both are set on standard. on heroic she comes as a tough boss. nothing unusual there. i really think that what is needed here is a change of tactics. i have taken her with a level 13 archery/psi blaster. all on heroic of course. with my blaster this time she aggroed on me, but came out of the room alone and then the allies kicked in. she went down without too much trouble. i would ask that you go back and try again on heroic, and take it easy. i lost neither of my allies in any of the missions. please give it a second chance, i feel it is worth it.

[ QUOTE ]
Arc ID: 119228
Arc Title: Hero Therapy! (TM)
Author: @Ridiculous Girl
Description: Do you have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta Sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try Hero Therapy (TM)! Start today!
Rating: *****

================================

Character used: Zetsumei Mitsukai, Level 50 Dual Blades/Dark Armor Scrapper
Difficulty: Tenacious (Diff 2)
Level for Arc Playthrough: 20, 29, 40, 50

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you lazarus, i was thinking of whining to you that i was still waiting for a review... thank you for such a glowing and thorough review.

i have just a couple of clarifications...
the hospital map has some serious spawning issues. for a long time the therapist would appear in the last room, with the allies in the front and the bad guy in the back room too. i have tried to solve this.

the librarian is meant to be an LT. the bosses ramp up; LT, boss, EB, AV.

the little nightmares are much better with more than one person on a team. they tend to focus their siphon on one person. once the get that boost they are a sight to see... if i could remove that heal from their set i would. the part with the knight running pell mell is both funny and not. there is not much i could do about that except maybe making him defensive. not sure if i want to do that...

the nightmare ambushes are triggered off of a battle in one mission, a battle and a captive, and a one destructible object and one recover object. i am fair with the ambushes. it is too bad you got one of the triggers the first time off. i kind of like destroying the unhappy memories...

SS has always spawned in that last room, so i have never had problems with reaching allies in that mission.

i thought i fixed that final room. they are patrols in that mission and one or two would spawn in that room which would make it crowded, to say the least. i thought i shifted the patrols to middle, rather than any where they would be trapped. now that i think about it there might be a battle that gets mixed in too. i will look at that.

i will look into those changes. your play and review are greatly appreciated. thank you.
RG

[ QUOTE ]
Well, I just tried Hero Therapy with my 47th level Archery/Devices Blaster, and it's one of several that I've found troublesome to review... because I REALLY liked it, up to the point I go up against an undefeatable enemy.

Despite several tries, I simply couldn't get past the Secret Shame and her 578 point Fireballs. Allies are a good thing in this regard, but the problem is, once they get killed off, they can't come back. Not to mention that she has those little Red Cap bastards with her, too! (Also, I never found the Librarian in that one, not that it would've made much difference.)

But I love the overall concept and the execution, and how "dreamlike" the settings are.

The Little Nightmares... those things are NASTY, but appropriately so in this case. I'm not actually sure what they *are* (ambushes? patrols?), and they come out of nowhere, apparently, which is quite appropriate. Unless I was prepared for them, they'd kick my butt.

Anyways, here's mine:


[/ QUOTE ]

hey suedenim, what challenge level were you playing? SS is a tough one, i even toned her down to /fire armor standard awhile ago. with that mission you only have 2 allies, vanity and the SYL. were you looking for a third? if you were looking for the second and could not find her, that would be odd since it is a small map and i have not encountered that problem yet. but, yeah, once you lose the allies it is a pain. if you were playing anything other than heroic or rugged, it would have been nightmarish for the solo, semi squishy, player. i did tenacious with my lvl 50 tank, which was tough but not impossible. i have tested it at most levels and archetypes, though i do need to run it with one of my squishier controllers. if you were playing it at a high setting i would encourage you to try again on heroic. then you can smell the roses. but your feedback is appreciated, i am glad you gave it a try. i will put your arc on my list. though it may take me until late next week to get to it, since i am off to london for a few days.

I'll try to track down the Freaks unique maps, and the foggy map might work for the first mish. I know I wanted the tech labs for mish 2 & 4 to reflect the idea that you were in a digital environment

the freak map i was thinking of is a warehouse map that is trashed ala freak style. there are a couple of foggy maps that come to my mind. one is the green fog map, which is an office map. the other, though i do not think it would work, is the cave of the shaper. that map is huge and a pain in the [censored] though. the hellions map is burning office and very difficult to see in.

i don't know... it was just an idea. i understand what you mean by the digital evironment. i just thnought the maps could use a little more oomph...

So what will happen at levels 1-4, is that the AV will spawn surrounded by nothing but copies of himself. Which would be very bad.

now that would be cool... though honestly i do not remember what was guarding it. actually i do not remember anything but your custom group in that mission. COT, maybe? i just think the wording is odd in the warning. i totally misinterpreted what it said. now that i reread it, it makes sense.

but other than that i am not worried about the difficulty levels of the AVs, just that you might provide some help. AVs are AVs, hard to begin with. but with my mid level scrapper they were quite a trial. i am just saying...

[ QUOTE ]
No rush. Any feedback at all is appreciated. Most people run through an arc and don't leave any feedback whatsoever.

[/ QUOTE ]
Return of the Revenge of the Son of Drakule Part 2: First Blood by laserjesus, arc #84543

i played this with obvious girl, a level 32 MA/SR scrapper on heroic.

mission 1
foretell is spelled wrong in the opening brief

i played the first arc earlier and this is a worthy sequel. i like this short arc too. i found one typo, so it is thoroughly edited. it has the same custom group as the last time with a couple of new additions. they are fun to fight though maybe a little overpowered. i ran this the first time with mr messy, my level 38 grav/storm troller and had a terrible time and so i switched. their ranged attacks seemed to ignore my hurricaine and mist. so i went with the scrapper.

now i do have one big complaint... while in your description you give the standard EB/AV warning. of which i am thankful for. you do say solo is possible, but not recommended for levels 1-4. do you mean 1-40? the first AV, EB for me, was an extreme necro MM AV, which makes sense for the theme. i managed to kill him, after being cut down once. the second EB/AV was not too bad either, being cut down again once. the third was fine, i took him down no problem. the final one was a pain in the [censored], and he took several tries. while you do recommend teams, i really think you should figure out a way to work in a couple of allies to give your average squishy soloer a little bit of help. maybe some born-again romanians... they were pretty difficult. i am not sure if your warnings are adequate.

other than that this is a good and funny, but solid, story arc. i enjoyed it. it made me smile a lot and laugh a couple times. i can not ask for much more.

I played on a level 24 energy/kin corruptor at challenge level 1.

I enjoyed it a great deal and would recommend it. I did have to get high-level help for the final boss though; my own attacks barely registered. As you warned that it would be challenging in the description I thought that was fair.

ah good, i am glad to have a couple of recent plays on this arc. it is greatly appreciated. i just got another review with someone saying contrarywise for the final boss. on well, i like her so she will be staying the same. i do have to run it witn an very low toon one of these days, though. i ran the hero therapy one with a level 13 and that was fine. this one i have not.

I can't remember seeing narrative voice used in contact dialogue in the regular game so it seemed a bit odd, but I didn't find it jarring, which is a good sign. It fit the story; I mean the sense that you're acting, to some extent, on promptings generated from within your own consciousness... I'm wondering if it would be better if its use were consistent, e.g. briefings always in Ms. Liberty's voice (plus encoded messages of course), debriefings and send-off in second person narrative with the final debriefing as a possible exception. Just an idea though. IIRC you definitely leaned that way.

i like the effect, but i am pretty sure it needs to be refined further. i added the color at a later date for emphasis and readability. it needs fiddling, though i am not sure how yet.

As I was playing I was wondering, "Is my character doing the right thing, or is he going mad?" Is that what you were going for? I didn't have a problem with it on that particular character; after all, he does the wrong thing all the time, but it occurs to me that I might have been uncomfortable with it on some of my heroes.

the story is loosely based off of my experiences with living with a schizophrenic man. you quickly learn the relitivity of reality when you see the same things but interpret them completely differently. he was a high functioning schizophrenic, but very intelligent and very crazy. there comes a point where learn that your reality is a choice, it just is not obvious a lot of the time in your life. i think the key is that there is something going on, but ultimately you have to decide whether he is right on or completely crazy and mixing reality up too much.

The lieutenant-level stalkers were an interesting (and sometimes AGGRAVATING) challenge. I think they defeated me almost as often as I defeated them. They generally used the shuriken for their opening attacks, which was a much less unpleasant surprise than when they appeared within melee range. Were there different varieties for each name at the minion level? I never quite got the hang of which minions did what.

i was going for minions that were difficult to distinguish, hence the interchangable names. the /ninja LTs were much worse when they did not have the ranged attack. i have yet to see them lately though. i need to run through again soon.

How did you get Dime Bag to cower? I thought that animation was deleted during open beta for captives. The only way I could get it to work in my arc was to edit the text file and republish any time I wanted to make a change. I gave up on doing that pretty quickly.

as far as i knew the cower is still there. i will look when i log back on.

Some of my nitpicky spelling, grammar and typo type observations (for what they're worth):

<ul type="square">[*]M2 collection item "You have found not what you were looking for..." -- Is that word order deliberate?[/list]
thank you for those. my english has become a bit odd. it has always been a bit archaic. but i have been traveling and living overseas for the past 3 years. i spent 16 months traveling in central and south america and learning spanish along the way. i now live in south france and learning frehnch. so i find my english, at least written, gets a bit funny. actually it sounds a little like yoda speak... i will fix those typos though.

I'd welcome any feedback on my arc, 55761 (Something to do with Fear). I'm particularly concerned to know whether the villains are too sympathetic.

i have you on my list. i am going to london over the weekend for a couple of days so it may be next week. we'll see... thank you again for the play and review.
RG

thank you eva, i will put you on my list. which is not terribly long for reviews, but i am going to london for a few days over the over weekend. not sure if i will get to it before then. we'll see...

Can You WIN the Internet? MA Arc #85544

i ran this with my level 32 MA/SR scrapper, obvious girl, on heroic.

first, the few typos that i saw...

mission 2
in the debrief it says "sneaking on to discussion..."

mission 3
in the first paragraph it says "more to come.Now..."
in the away text(?), i cannot remember what it is called, the comma after scientific research needs to be in the quotes.
in the mission pop-up motel is capitalized

well, that was a really good arc. i enjoyed it immensely. it was inventive and humorous. there is not much i can offer in criticism. i was pretty annoyed when i entered the first mission with my grand new shiny level 32 power only to realize at the first fight i was level 20... but besides that initial surprise i had very few problems. i really liked the custom groups and fighting them. it is too bad that they are only in one mission. overall difficulty was not bad, even the EB/AV was not too difficult. the text has obviously been thoroughly edited and the grammar is pretty solid.

my one bit of criticism is your choice of maps. i was not big on the 1st or the 2nd maps, the 3rd and 4th were ok. were you deliberately avoiding unique maps? there are a couple that might be more suitable. at least for the 2nd mission the freaks unique warehouse map was the one that came to my mind, for example. maybe one of the foggy maps for the 1st one since they there is some much spam it is hard to see... just a thought... the patrol texts on the last mission got a little repetitive. a little more variation might be nice. actually i like your dialogue a lot, you should try to inject some more if you can.

otherwise it was a great arc and i enjoyed reading all that i could. truthfully i do not have much to offer in way of improving this arc. it is pretty damn good as is. it kept me entertained throughout, i cannot ask for much more.

i ran the arc #167567: "Curiouser and Curiouser" with my lvl 50 tank on tenacious, despite it being a villainous mission. it is a very well written arc, filled with details and quite funny too. i like taking my time and looking at the details that people have bothered to put in and you have bothered. i guess i should run the other one, the one before this one. but since this one had no plays i felt sorry for it and gave it a run. it was worth it. i enjoyed the custom group too. they were well equipped... i also liked the little subliminal message on the computer download.

nice job. this arc gets the Ridculous Seal of Approval! (TM)

all i have to say in closing is... "Time to fry some sausages!"

if you gave my arc a run and review it would be appreciated.

Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV allies provided)

Please give this arc a try... you probably need to. Only 5(!) easy payments! You will not regret it!

*Small print* Failure to complete this arc may result in impotence, baldness, general ridicule from children, a lessening of EXP earning potential, and an overall decline of self respect. For further details contact ridiculous girl. Money will not be refunded under any condition.

welcome... to HELL! ha ha ha ha ha! the review business is fun...

give mine a run, but i do warn you... there are a lot of glowies and such, but they are not primary objectives. just figured i would give you a heads up since this is one of your annoyances.

Do YOU have nightmares about the Vahzilok? Can't sleep because you failed to defeat that Boss over and over again? Do you let your teammates down because you run away from Malta sappers? Do clowns make you have an anxiety attack? Try HERO Therapy (TM)! Start Today! 4 EASY sessions! (1EB,1AV allies provided)

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End Game.arc#17006 by calash

ok i ran this with obvious girl, my level 30 MA/SR scrapper, on heroic.

my thoughts and observations as i was playing...

mission 1
opening brief. it should be name’s, and "you" in place of "your", comma after types, need a period for that sentence. something in spelled wrong.
the initial dialogue is amusing if you are playing a girl toon.
after "end game" the period needs to go inside the quotes.
what lead robot? there is no mention other of robots in the brief.

in patrol MK1 description it need be an instead of a...
in the security mk 1 description is says... "Slightly more intelligent than the battle droids it can summon the MK-1 can dispense low level programming as well as relay communication from higher level androids." needs punctuation. and how can RV steal something after he was arrested? maybe after his time in the zig?

why is there a battle between dark veil groups?

assault bot's dialogue "acquire" and "search" are spelled wrong

the assault bot clue it should probably say that she "should be able to..."

mission 2
in the nav bar, generally your tasks do not need punctuation.
only one ambush? and two terminals are missing two ambushes...

mission 3
in SV rescue text it says "that you, obvious girl." is this a question or should it be thank you?
the dark dwarfs from the rift invasion have the kheldian description...
the all lt's in the rift group is a bit harsh... especially with 6 waiting in heroic. the ally died early in the first fight. it might have been two or more battles in the same room... there were 14 orange LTs.
in the exit brief the flirt text that should be pink is not.

mission 4
who is calash? i know it is you, but this is the first time he is mentioned. more info is provided in the calash robot description.
the invasion is not mentioned anywhere else.
was calash MK II an EB? boss on heroic?

mission 5
the brief should probably say the calash MK II
calash with his fiery aura has no guards, therefore his animation is a bit off...
the healer bot ambush is a little much, along with the healer bot guards on calash MK II.
the multiple healer bot ambushes on the final boss, which is an extreme MM is too much. are the calash MKII and DV both EBs?

ok, i really like this story. it was quite well done and pretty decent story line. the custom enemy group was pretty fun to fight. even the MM minions, which i usually dread, were fine. i liked the use of assault bots as part of the enemy group and not summoned. the use of maps were good and appropriate, i did not have any complaints there. i really like the use of a computer key to trigger off ambushes if it was the wrong computer. though i would suggest maybe altering the ones that are the wrong ones to the one that is the correct one. having to fight an ambush is different than wanting to fight one. know that you were going to get ambushed no matter what you did was kind of annoying. i would suggest that maybe putting text like "you are not sure if this is the right one..." or "this is probably the wrong one, but..." for the triggering computers. " the real one could say "you are pretty confident this is the right one..." putting a little caution and skill into the process to give the player some credit rather than randomly mashing buttons to get a result.

there were several problems that i encountered though. let me start off with the big one. i have no problem with vanity pieces, but... having an EB extreme MM as the final boss with multiple ambushes of healing mobs is not terribly fair. all the fights that lead up to this point had been reasonably fair. with exception of maybe the dark dwarfs... but that is another story. one ambush with your calash MK II and the "real" calash was a little much. 4 would appear on heroic. i made it through that with one death. but after two deaths and two ambushes and no progress with the MM boss, i gave up. it was not a rage quit, it was more of a disappointment. it was not a fair fight. even with the help, he was inadequate in the fight at holding and maintaining aggro. which is what you certainly need with an extreme MM and 6 minions, not including the waves of EB/EMP minions. that fight was way out of proportion of the rest of the arc. so serious tweaking need to go down with that fight. some more help and maybe nerfing the boss a bit. if they were EBs you also should note that in your arc description.

there were also some story plot holes that need to be addressed. one that stood out immediately is the rift invasion at the portal corps. that came out of left field for the mission only but was never mentioned anywhere else. it was like going to las vegas. i do not even think the ally mentioned, other than the mission plot point of shut down the generators. it was kind of random, though fun. and why only dark dwarf LT's? the back story of minkia is incomplete too. missing as to why he thought she was too much trouble. later on suddenly you mention the calash robot, when we have no idea who this person is. he is just introduced at random. there is some filling in with his description in the mission, but in the brief it comes out of nowhere. which also brings up who built the calash MK II? it not really said, or the intro is not clear enough...

i began looking for typos, but i quit by the second mission. you need someone to go in and look for typos for you. that is not my job. i will help clean up loose typos here and there. but your text needs a lot of cleaning up. do what i do. i nagged someone for a week until they went over my arc with a fine tooth comb and sent me a detailed email. i still get a few here and there in feedback, but it helped enormously. your text is riddled with typos and grammatical errors. i know how it is, looking at the same text hundreds of times. that is why you need someone outside to clean it up for you.

otherwise, it is a very good arc and i enjoyed it. there was nothing glaring wrong with the story and it flowed well. i did not rate it, nor did i complete it. but that was for my reasons stated above. hopefully you will address some of those things and this well turn into a really good arc.

hey SS... i enjoyed the arc a lot. i am not going to add much more than what i have already said. but i wanted to share my thoughts with you on the countdown on the self destruct... usually, in movies with countdowns there is usually a discontinuity of the flow of time. you know... there are 30 seconds left in the timer shot, and two minutes later of movie action there are still 10 seconds left. my idea was to have some bare bones of a countdown. maybe not even numbers. maybe ones that say something like "all non essential personnel must evacuate." maybe repeat this as it goes down in health and then switch to "all personnel must evacuate, destruction imminant." then when it is destroyed say something like "you had only 6 second left" or "the timer reads 00.00.03." just an idea...

(edit) oops... this was a defend object... in my head i was thinking destructible object. it might still work though...

hercules, i really feel bad when i give what i feel is a bad or negative review to something that i know someone has worked hard on. i want to reemphasize that it has potential. with a lot, in my opinion, reworking it could be interesting. you seem to have a lot of the issues worked out, but some were not clear to me. my two problems with all of this are 1) lack of details and 2) inconsistent story line.

lack of details is a difficult one. i know what it is like with threads that are at 99.99%. i have 2 of them. in both i had to severely cut back on the number of toons in the custom group. while this may be difficult to do in your head, adding finer details by far adds to the story. one custom toon removed and you could probably add descriptions to all you other toons. nuclear adam, for example. he only appears in the first mission. cut him out and you probably will find yourself with an extra 6% of space. of course, you do not have to do this. but players appreciate this kind of attention to them. on my hero therapy one i tried to put descriptions on everything. surprisingly to me, this is one thing i get a lot of positive feedback on. i am even contemplating throwing out the custom group to free up even more space so i can add more detail. this is why i was suggesting splitting the story up into two parts. one for germany and one for japan, two separate campaigns. that way you reduce the number of custom in each story, but allow for much greater detail and story.

yes, the 2nd mission is out of place, you admit that. but as i mentioned, all the stories maybe go together in a general sense. the thing is that there was no sense of one really leading to the next. with exception of the first and the last, the middle three could have been in any order. they were side missions, but did not add or subtract to the momentum of the story. i am not sure what to suggest in the way of tying them all together better, it is your story. but they need to be brought together closer somehow...

but anyways... i feel that if you made some revisions, along some of these lines that it could be a much better story. i would even be willing to run it again, if you came back to me and said that you made some revisions and would like me to give another shot. i am sorry you wanted me to do your other arc, this one just appealed to me. we can do another quid pro quo. welcome donut world needs more feedback since i made some revisions. but seriously, if you ask me to run it again after some revisions, i will and review it again if you want.
RG