Originally Posted by TheFrog_NA
Once, in the faraway land of DoubleTree, the lords and ladies of NCSoft gathered to them the friends of their realm, and it was good. There they discussed the future of their realm, and made merry with the good folks who had supported them for so long. It appeared that nothing could dampen the spirits of the revelers, nor would they find any reason for distress.
But the revelers were not the only ones in the land of DoubleTree that day, and a powerful evil force lived within its borders, in a place known as The Night Club. This evil was only known as "The Cougar," and she preyed upon the gamers of HeroCon with a hunger that could not be sated.
One such gamer was known as K Nut, and he was possessed of a kind spirit and a polite manner. So when he first encountered The Cougar, he said kind words so as not to offend her, and then went on his way to meet with his fellow revelers. He thought nothing more of the incident, and went on to enjoy himself with his friends, believing nothing would ever come of his encounter.
Sadly, that was not to be. While K Nut was sharing drinks and stories with his friends, The Cougar emerged from her den in The Night Club, dragging behind her her most recent prey. But her encounter with K Nut was not forgotten, as she loudly proclaimed, "I thought you were gonna warm up the dance floor for me!"
K Nut, stunned, could only stutter and attempt to reply, "I was going to, but it was too expensive to get in!"
The Cougar would not allow for such excuses, or even a full sentence from K Nut, however. Before he could finish his statement, she shouted, "I thought you were gonna warm up the dance floor for me! But that's OK...I found me another man!" and pointed to the prey standing a respectful distance away from the spectacle. For his part, the prey looked less than comfortable with the attention being drawn to his choice of companionship for the evening. "Isn't that right?" The Cougar asked her prey.
"Uh, yeah..." stammered the prey.
The Cougar continued to rant, and K Nut struggled to figure out a way to resolve the encounter. Being a polite soul, his instincts told him to apologize. And so, he looked at The Cougar and began, "I'm sorry, ma'am..."
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?" exclaimed The Cougar.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," repeated K Nut.
At this point, a few of K Nuts friends realized that they were receiving calls to nature that they really should not put off any longer, while others were attempting to maintain their composures so as not to laugh, fall out of their chairs, or in some other way draw the attention of The Cougar.
For her part, The Cougar may not have noticed, for her ire was leveled squarely upon the head of poor K Nut, and she was ranting so swiftly, that some witnesses were not entirely sure she was speaking English anymore. The tirade was merciless, and as a result, K Nut shrank over a foot that day.
The moral of this story is two-fold. First, while it is well and good to be polite, never encourage a Cougar with kind words. And second, never call a Cougar "ma'am."
The End
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