Tramontane

*Appears in the center of the summoning circle*

Wha... mmmbzuuuuhhh?

Oh. Oh, jeez, this is embarrassing. Usually I see this sort of thing from the summoner end, not the summonee end.

Um. Morning, all.

*Dons a beret*

Hey, so good news. I finally stopped freezing everything I touched.

Of course, I live in Cleveland, so it's ALL FROZEN ANYWAY. ARGH.

*Sips coffee and snaps fingers*

History? What is history, but the texts written to catalogue the evidence of the world before us?

And how many of those items, as seen in this very thread, are NEMESIS PLOTS?

THerefore, I submit to you that the very threads of history itself are rife with the subtle, insidious influence of Nemesis's twisted machinations.

Luckily, I'm totally not a nemesis plot.

Totally.

Come on. Look at my face. You can trust me.

You could have at least taken the beer. You realize that the stupid can is now frozen to my hand?

*Attempts to pry his hand from the beer can with a popsicle stick, only for the popsicle stick to become encased in ice*

DAMMIT.

*Awakens and looks around in bewilderment, brushing cobwebs from his head*

I'm still here! I swear!

... How long have I just been sitting there with this damn frozen beer? *Checks his calendar* A WEEK AND A HALF? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I am not a daisy!

If anything I'd be an Iris.

A manly Iris.

Very manly.

Virtually brimming with masculinity, is this iris.

... Also snow. *Resumes brushing frost off, then realizes that he's just freezing more frost onto his clothing*

*Extricates himself from the dirt immediately in front of JagBlade's head, brushing bits of frozen mud from his shoulders*

Sorry about that, been busy all week. Anyway, is anybody-

Oh. Oh, sorry, Jag.

Toilets?

Toilets, you say?

Toilets not a Nemesis plot?

I... I am sorry, but surely you must realize the truth. Consider, if only for a moment, that every toilet in the world performs the same function: Channeling waste from our own bodies to a disposal facility.

Now consider the incidence of malfunction.

The hostility this engenders

The neurosis of seeing plumbers out of their rear-view mirrors

The aggravation of the bill

The spiraling lack of money in the world

The rising incidences of poverty and crime, and the overlap thereof

Now, consider what sort of breeding ground Nemesis likes when recruiting minions and peddling the spoils of war.

Still so confident, are you?

But then, we do see the one broader, more joyous implication.

Clearly, toilet plungers are NOT a Nemesis plot.

I say, I could swear I just saw a rabbit dash through and steal a cookie.

The kitty one was sad. I'm depressed now. Thanks a lot.

Are you so certain? I mean, consider the military outposts conquered or used. The bunkers assembled. The secret lairs furnished. The hiding places and weapons caches sealed. The modes of transportation founded upon this simple substance.

Awfully convenient that such a creation just HAPPENS to benefit Nemesis so much, HMMMMMMM?

But then, that is why I prefer my buildings made of wood. After all, consider the humble tree, beautiful in its simplicity, in its simple utility, in its complex creation and organization... how could the tree be a Nemesis plot?

Brief spikes of activity keep happening while I'm not here.

Really, REALLY need to get back ingame soon. >.>;;

Well, my two favorite Masterminds are my Necro/Dark (Unoriginal combination, I know) and my Mercs/Thermal.

My Necromancy pets are all named after members of Oingo Boingo

Zombies: Hernandez, Phipps, and Turner
Grave Knights: Bartek, Avila
Lich: Elfman

The Merc/Thermal one is actually a sort of modern pirate deal, who uses the alias Captain Firebird, so I just gave everybody suitably generic last names and ranks. A bit boring, I suppose.

Soldiers: Ensign Finn and Ensign Byrd
Medic: Dr. Wilder
Spec Ops: Lt. Darcy and Lt. Apollo
Commando: Commander Stone

Yes, I went for a kind of elemental thing.

I love the whole world
And all its forumites

I love my DPS

Incorrect.

The Daaaaaaaleks are servants and creations of Stavros, who is well known to be a part-alien clone of Nemesis, created to assist him in galactic coooonquest

However, unlike your filthy human world, the act of exteeeeeermination is in no way tainted by the touch of the human Nemesis

*Makes an undignified snorting noise, then sits up and looks around him hastily*

I dinnn falla sleep! I dinn falla sleep!

Wha... I...

*Realizes that several wookies have been creatively draped on top of him, and slowly attempts to extricate himself without waking them*

I love my Ice/Ice, which is why he remains my main despite all.

Sure, he doesn't level fast, but between the melee-ranged control abilities and my own tendency to play kind of blapperish to begin with, I sort of have something I have, perhaps unimaginatively, dubbed a Blapptroller.

And a fairly effective one, I might add.

Well, it saves money on Q-tips...

My pet snail bites the poster below me, imbuing him with the powers of a radioactive snail.

Ah, but wait one moment!

Did Mountain Dew not, in the recent past, release a promotional line of beverages known to the market as "Game Fuel?"

And did not this line of beverages market itself as a method of refreshment and game-enhancement while playing online games?

Sadly, it seems painfully clear to me that the Nemesis operatives at PepsiCo have been using Mountain Dew as a way to simultaneously increase our dependence on caffeinated beverages and our use of online media, which increases our susceptibility to media-based subliminal mind control.

Is it not telling that the game which the Game Fuel chose to market with was World of Warcraft, almost as if to direct the attention of consumers away from this game, thereby reducing the possibility that Nemesis will be exposed to his chosen victims?

But then, all is not lost, for I can certainly say without a shadow of a doubt that I am safe! My beverage of choice is pure, ordinary filtered water, which is not, and indeed could not possibly be, a Nemesis plot!