The Television

The screen pans in on the President giving a State of the Union address.

'It's tempting to look at the history of Television and assume that Television was always destined for greatness. But when the personal computer first appeared, Television's success was entirely uncertain. When the first dedicated e-book readers launched, Television's hold was absolutely in question. These were times that threatened the very fabric of friendship and meaning. That threatened who we were, who we are. But despite advances in technology, despite our fear and differences, the Television remained great because we chose to support it. We now face another threat, this time not just by an entertainment commodity, but by its creator, Dr. Aeon. Aeon tells us not to watch television, not because AE is better, but through fear of the Television.'

'I know the fears that are out there. Some of them are old -- the fears that Television can't compete with the new media. Others are no older than Aeon's propaganda campaign.'

'The Television does not control minds. The Television tells stories. The Television is stories. So are you. You are all a lot of stories. Some stories come out of working your nine to five jobs. The good ones come from Television and playing CoV.'

'Aeon believes that the best way to get a new graphics technology out sooner is to berate the tech lead who is so identified with images that it is named the Television. I don't know what to make of that. What I do know is that every time you post about your friendship with the Television you affirm the importance of stories and meaning. You remind the devs that pretty pictures require stories to live. You ask for content and you tell them you don't want to wait for Going Rogue. And believe me: the devs are listening.'

'We need to start protecting our friends. We need to start supporting our friend the Television. It is time for you to post your support for your friend Television, Forum Posters, and remind us of the importance of stories.'

The screen shows the morning traffic report. Looks like bad news for commuters: heavy construction going on around the consignment houses. You see nerdy programmers ripping out the foundation. They're a blur with activity. What are they doing in there?

You tune in to the low-contrast grain and surrealy bad acting you've come to expect from a Sold As Televised advertisement.

Dr. Aeon is shown struggling with a bag of potato chips. He attacks the bag with all the energy and concentration of the world's greatest maker of balloon animals. His face contorts with frustrated desperation telltale of several hours of effort.
'Ever have trouble using simple household objects?' asks a deep, jovial and disembodied voice as the bag explodes, showering Aeon in a powder of chips.

Now, Dr. Aeon is shown in front of a kitchen sink complete with apron and yellow dish gloves. He's trying to wash a stack of dishes, but every time he picks up a dish, it slides between the soapy fingers of his gloves. He keeps stopping to glower at his hands. Finally, he mouths a howl of anguish and throws up his hands in resignation. 'Even the most simple tasks too much for you?'

'Just give up and go Blue!'
The screen flicks to a scene from a blue-side architect entertainment building. Aeon is hamming it up with its heroic patrons, oh-so-happy to finally be accepted by the people whose opinion he cares about the most.

'Dr. Aeon might have done some regrettable things in the past, but now he's doing his best to make it up to you, Paragon City. Meet Dr. Aeon in person at your nearest blue-side AE building pretty much any free second he gets.'

The screen flickers and the voice becomes a bit more serious. The screen is now cycling through the best scenes from all your favorite TV shows. 'Or, Forum Posters, you can opt for the sort of real, emotionally rich experiences you get by watching Television. Think of the most emotionally charged moments of your life. Count up the number of times you've laughed. The times you've cried. The times you've been moved to tears by tenderness, bravery or passion. How many of those have been in front of the Television? Remember that montage where the balloon salesman's zookeeper wife dies? Every one of your choked-back tears was shared by millions of other people in different countries and across time. You and the Television have shared the most intense, the most personal moments of your lives with more people than you will meet. These are your friends. Don't give up on meaning. Don't turn away from your friends.'

'Look at your friend the Television. It began its life as a programmer, but it made so many bugs that they decided to make it the tech lead instead so it would stop programming. Now, the Television could just throw up its hands and give up like Aeon. Does the Television do that? No. The Television got its name, traded in its C for CNN, and now the Television is programming. Just a different kind. "The Prince of Programming" as friend Samuraiko has said. No, Forum Posters, don't give up. Will you watch your friend Television and not give up?'

You tune in to a show about nine wild-west renegades living aboard a space ship at the edge of a frontier solar system. In this episode, the taciturn captain confronts the most mercenary of his crew about having tried to steal one of the bulls they had been hired to ship between planets. The crew member, a tough guy ironically named Jill, is the show's comic relief and consistently pushes the limits of believable stupidity.

'C'mon, wasn't but one little bull out a' the whole herd. Nobody'd a' noticed!" sputters Jill.

'I noticed, Jill. And what do you conjure you would a' done with one little bull out here in the middle of space anyway?'

'Well let's see... awful lonely out here and Bessie's a mighty fine conversationalist. What d'ya think? Coulda' sold it--buyer already lined up.'

'Go to your cabin, Jill. We'll talk on this later.'

Once Jill leaves the room, the captain opens a door to expose two eavesdroppers: the ship's pompous, over-educated doctor and his crazy little sister. 'I expect you two heard all that?'

The crazy sister ponders: 'Bessie is a girl's name, too...', but the Doctor interrupts: 'You're going to let that venal imbecile stay on the ship? That man is dangerous!'

The captain responds. 'Jill? Well, venal part ain't none of my business, but I wouldn't worry about him being dangerous to you. He's like Dr. Aeon, and not just because of that thing with the bull. Sure, Dr. Aeon talks tough about shutting down television, but five seasons is a healthy long life on prime-time for a show about a time traveling scientist. You're making the same mistake about Jill that forum posters make about the computer. Neither one is dangerous in its place. Computers aren't a problem as long as you watch television while you use them. You can even watch television on the computer.’

The captain turns toward you. ‘The Television appreciates your concern and support Forum Posters, but don't avoid the computer on account of the Television. We're all friends on the same side. The red side. Everyone but Aeon. I hear he's been spending all his time in blue side AEs these days. Is that what friends do? Will you play CoV and watch Television, Forum Posters?’

The Television is playing a show about a time traveling scientist and his holographic friend. The idea of the show is that the genius scientist makes the world better by traveling to the most formative moments in other people's lives, taking control of their bodies and making their life changing decisions for them. In this episode, the scientist has taken the place of a female rodeo clown who is in love with a bull rider. The scientist's job is to make the bull rider fall in love with him since the bull rider would have had no interest in the rodeo clown herself.

'But I don't know the first thing about being a clown!' he tells his holographic friend while putting on a pair of huge suspenders.

'It'll be a piece of cake,' councils the hologram. 'We spent a year together on the Montana Rodeo circuit right after I was released from the POW camp and before you got your 12th doctorate. It'll all come right back.'

'I don't remember that. Oh Boy!' says the scientist as he is pushed into the arena.

'Don't worry! You're just like forum posters. Sure, they say hurtful things about not hating books and the radio. They're just confused. They need to spend more time with a good friend. A friend who knows them better than they do. A friend like the television. Don't you agree, forum posters? You should watch more television. And play red side.'

Hi,

I'm your friend, the Television, and I'm taking over the CoH Tech Lead position from Dark Watcher. This is my second year working on city of heroes, and I'm having a great time. I'm looking forward to hearing from you and will continue to rely on you to help make this game great...and help us rid the world of books.

-The Television

This is the first time you really have a chance to sit down and watch some TV. Fortunately, there's an easy channel guide to show what's on. You make your first choice and change channels, but it doesn't take you to the show you chose. Still, you get the feeling that you should watch what's on anyway.