Lei_Long

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My retort shall be with held for horrormonal reasons.

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roflmao

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Its a fact of life. Pregnant women love pedicures. One, it makes them feel pretty (at least their feet). Two, its a foot massage that I don't have to give them. Three, its a massaging chair.

Guys should love her getting pedicures. One, they feel pretty (you might get laid). Two, you suggested it/paid for it so your caring and sensitive. Three, she's out of the house for an hour or so and you can play video games or something.

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lol

=@.@=

Green Nail Polish?!?

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I've taught my daughter that it takes only 12 pounds of pressure to break a knee cap, to punch in the throat, not the face and that licking your arm pit is a REAL turn off.

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Some people like that, especially if you lick them there (ewww).

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When I was a kid, all that macho dad stuff made me laugh

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When I beat my sister's boyfriend's [censored] down the front porch and into the street over a penetration joke, all his en vogue apathy and ignorant disbelief that family members will resort to violence made me giggle.

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I'm sure your sister thought it funny too. But probably not. That leaves only two choices for your daughter to bring home. The first: a eunich who will acquiesce to your every whim or 2: the rebel, biker, drug dealer who possesses their own firearms.

Maybe it never occurred to the guys that the girls also want to get laid? I remember my first job, we had a lady working there who was about 80 years old. She used to tell us how well we have it now. One of her favorite lines was, "When we wanted to have sex we had to get married."

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Don't get me wrong, I'm a single guy without children who worked hard to circumvent those fathers when I was in high school. I won't ever be the shotgun-wielding father, but I can sure understand why some are when guys like me come walking up to their front porch.

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iltat - Stop posting on these forums, and start figuring out how you're going to climb out of the Fantasy Baseball gutter!

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By riding Halladay's coattails the whole way.

Now if he can just learn to hit too...

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lol

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...requiring some increased boyfriend defense methodologies...

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If you haven't developed the "touch my daughter and you die" look for her future prospective suitors, you should start practising. It's a father's prerogative, after all.

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Always be sure to be cleaning a Shotgun with a box full of shells nearby when the boys visit.

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My current plan is to meet the kid at the door, point the shotgun at his crotch and say, "touch her with that, and I'll touch that with this." I'll also be passing out business cards with the dictionary definition for "eunuch" on it.

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lol

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...requiring some increased boyfriend defense methodologies...

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If you haven't developed the "touch my daughter and you die" look for her future prospective suitors, you should start practising. It's a father's prerogative, after all.

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Always be sure to be cleaning a Shotgun with a box full of shells nearby when the boys visit.

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I actually picked up a girl for a date in high school while her father was just wandering his front yard with a shotgun. Nothing like that type of introduction to make everyone feel at ease.

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Well, don't you live in Texas?

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...requiring some increased boyfriend defense methodologies...

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If you haven't developed the "touch my daughter and you die" look for her future prospective suitors, you should start practising. It's a father's prerogative, after all.

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Always be sure to be cleaning a Shotgun with a box full of shells nearby when the boys visit.

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I just got home from the doc. He told me that the baby has dropped pretty low. I've been in pain off and on for a week. I could have it any day now instead of August 12ish. I still have to finish cleaning the house (again) and make plans on where to put the kids when I go into real labor. I'm so friggin stressed out, ticked off and exhausted. This has been the crappiest pregnancy I've ever had. Nothing's ready. No one at home seems to give a crap. I'm 127lbs.. when I should be 150lbs by now. I'm too worn out to cook anymore. At least the baby is healthy and strong.. as he's sucking the life right out of me. Thanks for the Rant!

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Sucking the life out of you? He's a dark/dark defender!!

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I was right, an Alien Parasite!!

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Yeah, that's illegal in Canada.. "Washing out mouths with soap is a form of abuse".. GRRRR.

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You'd be surprised how effective Tabasco sauce is...potty mouths and lying. And it's legal!

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Wow! You use that too. Cured my son of his spitting habit almost in one sitting.

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Evil!
I like it!

Wouldn't really work on me, other than the vinegar taste.

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Are you saying you have a profanity problem, or just you can't taste picante?

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I have chewed dried Haberano (sp?) peppers before. So bring on the Tabasco

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Yeah, that's illegal in Canada.. "Washing out mouths with soap is a form of abuse".. GRRRR.

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You'd be surprised how effective Tabasco sauce is...potty mouths and lying. And it's legal!

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Wow! You use that too. Cured my son of his spitting habit almost in one sitting.

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Evil!
I like it!

Wouldn't really work on me, other than the vinegar taste.

Sorry to hear about the loss

shouldn't the internet be shut down from 9p to 5a? instead of 9a to 5p?

ball

<grabs Pepsi before he walks out>
<pops top>
<chugs>

Ahhhhh

Oh I suppose you can be let out now, just no making a mess.

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Pledges Firstborn, 2 arms and 2 legs all from some random street hobo named jimbo-bob
...for Timelord Scarf!*

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You mean you don't have one?

You poor soul.

<shakes the Snow Globe>

<puts Demilion into the Snow Globe>

First Occupant for the reopening.

<Adds Snowglobe to the Shelf>

You forgot to mention that.

pin

Banned for tagging a nuke.

Banned for being the Box Keeper.

pole