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When a player deliberately (and consistently) makes the game unfun for other players.
Usually this consists of things like:
Harrassment
Deliberately preventing others from completing missions/gaining xp
Finding ways to kill/injure non-PvP players (training high-level mobs onto low levels, etc.)
Using exploits in the game system (things that weren't intended) to kill/injure/harrass players
Deliberately preying on players in PvP who are hopelessly outclassed (spawn camping/sniping newbies, for example)
Broadcasting insults about x player, x hero, lamers, etc.
Generally griefing is pretty obvious -- you step into an area, BLAM! get wasted before you can do anything, and then get a tell about how you are lame and so-and-so is superior because he just worked you because you are lame -- well, that's griefing. It can be a little trickier than this but it's like what Justice Stewart said about pornography -- "...I know it when I see it."
One of the goals as a designer is to create systems to make it hard to do griefing -- without being overly restrictive. It's not easy.
It is important to remember that we, as players, are a community and the game is about community play, even if you do nothing but solo. Just doing what you want at the expense of the enjoyment of other players (not characters, but actual account-holding players) is not in the spirit of the game.
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Oh please say it ain't so... I am gathering from your response that you are considering allowing Villains to communicate with Heroes (and vice versa) in local and area channels. Please note, that many of the types of griefing you mentioned can't be pulled off without negative communication.
Or were you referring to other MMOs....
Camdar
