Fire_Wa11

I think we are missing one very WEIRD aspect of the new comic and if it is not addressed in this thread I threaten to start a new thread just on this issue.

Statesman gets mad when the others free him from the Vahs and Crey who are whupping his butt.

Statesman said it was helping him meditate. This is cut and dried folks. Statesman is a masochist. That's a fact. He's going to be dating Pin-Head in the next issue. I GOR-ONE-TEE.

I thought about this yesterday. I often wonder what, COH, may spawn in terms of comics/movies. 180,000 people rushing out to see a COH movie or buy a new comic book isn't going to make a hit. Though they did make a sequel to Tomb Raider flick. If there is a market for one COH medium other than the game, even if it is a free comic, this is what it needs to make Paragon seem REAL.

1) What is everyone buying from Crey? How come they have tons of money? Can a regular person on the street by their bio-engineering for a few bucks everyday or do they make a few sales a month worth millions each?

2) How do 9 or 10 villain groups appeal to hundreds of people...people who are probably our sons, brothers, even mothers and fathers?

3) Make it minimal. There cannot be 180,000 heroes running around one town. Also, perhaps rather than every villain group having 100s of members (necessary for the game-play) maybe in fictional accounts some groups are just a few guys with lotsa underworld influence. I picture the Warriors as may 7 or 8 giant, bad mamma-jammas.

4). Fire Wa11. (Just kidding...of my super heroes, I struggle with his storyline the most, though I think the Tourniggens are pretty sexy: http://discussion.thedarwin.com/cgi-...num=1112559100

Can't remember the other things I was thinking. What can I say? It's summer.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 23, 2005

"Cay Man," say Dunnovel. "'Dis Dunnovel. Me work with Bo Bindel."

"Hello, Dunnovel," say Cay Man. "How did everything at the hospital work out? Did you bust out my son okay?"

"Well," say Dunnovel. "We got son out of hospital but police jerk Burt Calloway got him S.W.A.T. Junior miss flight to Carri-whatever. 'Dis getting complicated. 'Dis not part of deal."

"Mr. Dunnovel, I do agree with you on both counts," say Cay Man. "Either way, I am far away from American soil and you are not. It might be in your best interest to do away with the witness as it were."

Dunnogard say, "What him saying?"

"Big-time shhhhhhh," say Dunnovel. "What you saying, Cay Man?"

Cay Man say, "I am saying do what Trolls do. You know. Get rid of him."

*click*

"What did dad say," ask Junior. "Is he sending someone to come get me?"

"Junior better hope not," say Dunnovel.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 22, 2005

Bo not know if it Dr. Neuro-whatever or one of you other jerks, but lately Bo Bindel finding it hard sleeping. Bo Bindel say this 'cause normally Bo sleep like Trollkin ('cept on 'dyne), but lately Bo have nightmare 'bout Julius the Troll.

So, Bo Bindel just say this.

Atta laid off civil engineer. Him big-time demolish buildings in Detroit. How Atta end up here Bo no know, 'cause Atta got him two BIG dogs. Troll ask too many questions, Troll gone. Dogs get BIG-ger.

Now, Troll is Troll is Troll but Julius, him start asking too many question. Better Bo Bindel's way than Atta's.

Go to sleep Julius. You no want to be ghost anyway.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diary
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 21, 2005

Nurse Pellingham:
Doctor! Doctor! There are two Trolls dressed as candy stripers in the front lobby!

Doctor Armstrong:
I can't deal with that right now, Nurse Pellingham. Some sick individual's idea of a practical joke was to let lose a bag of Clockwork Knights on the kidney dialysis floor. I'm going to be up all night purifying those patients' urine by hand.

Nurse Pellingham:
Oh, doctor. You're so...so...HEROIC!

Doctor Armstrong:
I know, Ms. Pellingham. I know.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 20, 2005

(Bo Bindel's Big-Time Disclaimer: Bo Bindel a 21st century kind of guy. What good for goose is good for gander far as Bo care.)

So, Bo Bindel on crapper reading latest Paragon Times and Bo Bindel want to point out a few things about Azuria of M.A.G.I. Bo Bindel went to high school with Azuria, and Bo Bindel here to tell you she was a proud member of V.A.G.I. before turning girl-scout contact whatever.

You didn't hear it from Bo Bindel, but Azuria seen more "crystal balls" than a stock boy at the Wizard's Well and been stuck more times than a voodoo doll. So, if you father expecting daughter, do yourself a favor. Don't give daughter just one name. Azuria VanDooseldorf or Madonna Schlordonowski probably gonna be better than just first name, or she gonna be getting her orientation into V.A.G.I. under Skyway High School bleachers too.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 17, 2005

Steve:
This is Steve.

Bo Bindel:
This Steve's Bar?

Steve:
Yep.

Bo Bindel:
You got still ol' bluesman on Friday who sit in corner with acoustic guitar, got him CDs you no have to buy and guitar case you no have to put money into?

Steve:
Who wants to know?

Bo Bindel:
This Bo Bindel. Bo Bindel figure he ask Mary Helen go when she after work tomorrow.

Steve:
No, Troll. The blues-man or anyone else...is never...playing here...ever again.

*click*

Or more accurately, what would a prionic's powers look like?. I created a character TheCardinal as kind of a behind-the-scenes tyrant to TheExorcist. In some of the creative writing I've done, I've made him someone who can put images into your mind (mind control), create loud thunderous noises in your mind (Mental/Psionic Scream) all of which can leave you feeling a bit drained (kinetic).

But I rolled him in game as a kinetc/psionic defender over a mind controller because Exorcist is already a controller and I wanted my second alt to be different. On the plus-side, it's more fun and made me a better player, on the negative side, it is up for speculation whether a psionic can do the things I've written Card doing.

What do you think a psionic's powers would look like in real life? Is a psionic more someone who can read minds rather than make you see crazy crap? Is a psionic Jean Grey and a mind controller Dr. X? IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A PSIONIC TO DO THIS.... (NOTE DONKEY KONG IS TheCardinal if that's not terribly obvious):

From the confidential files of the Paragon Archdiocese
on Father Brody Brunello of Our Lady of Virtue in Independence Port
April 11, 2005

Nightmares of a dead neighbor's ghost...hazing from Hellion's over missed meetings...the very real possibility of a 1st-degree murder conviction.

"And now, I'm suppose to go to calculus?!" thinks Tony.

He ditches after lunch and tries to think of a place with no problems, street-gangs or bad memories.

"The nickel arcade in Talos," he says to himself.

He walks up the wharf and into the game room, and he hears.... Snippets?

The childhood song on tv.... Who knows what it was ever promoting, but the song is as recognizable now as when it was serving as a bridge between commercials and afterschool specials, before there was such a thing as X-box or nickel arcades.

Tony wants to say mushrooms, but they were closer to the wallpaper print of his grandma's old musty apartment. Digitized...pixeled in the brightest colors. Shifting to left and right, out from the walls over the gameroom floor, up the ceiling, before Tony just inches, then back again. All moving to this breakbeat, bastardized version of a song from a simpler time.

Tony didn't back away. He wants to embrace it. He wants to stay here forever with his grandmother's wallprints broken down into horrible squares. He wants to dance with these bad graphics forever. At least until the case surrounding his dead neighbor is gone.

Then...him! The master of ceremonies, presiding over the nickel arcade's surreal remodeling: Donkey Kong. His legs contorted into an impossible diamond shape as his oversized pixels shift to the rhythmn. The funny white hat on Donkey Kong's head didn't even phase Tony...as if Donkey Kong always wore the Pope's hat. The blue eyes like light-beams, only slightly brighter than these happy new surroundings!

"Hi, Tony! I'm Donkey Kong! Remember me, Tony?" in the same voice that every costumed kid's character has, low, kind of gruff, but warm, hospitable and ingratiating.

"Yes, I... I remember you, Donkey Kong. You're... You're...," replies Tony.

"Hi, Tony! I'm Donkey Kong! I'm looking for my friend Ben! Donkey Kong gets lonely without my friend Ben around," says the Donkey Kong in the Pope hat. "Have you seen our good buddy Ben, Tony? ...our bestest buddy in the whole wide world!?"

"I... I..." listless, reality is breaking down to Tony.

"What's wrong, Tony?" the character inquires. "You can tell your friend Donkey Kong anything."

"I... I... I killed Ben, Donkey...Donkey Kong," sounding less relieved than incognizant. Now, his fears didn't matter. His secrets didn't matter. It is just a game now.

"Ooooooooh, that's okay, Tony! Hey, maybe now that Ben is gone. You can be my new friend, Tony? You want to be friends with Donkey Kong don't you?"

"Yes", says Tony. "I do. I do want to be your friend Donkey Kong."

"Oooooooh, happy day. Donkey Kong likes making friends! We need more friends at Donkey Kong's party, Tony. Do you have a special friend, Tony? Someone you trust more than anyone in the world? Someone you can tell all your secrets to?" the game asks.

"Bruno, er, Father Brunello," the young boy replies. "He's a priest."

"Wooooooooow! That sounds terrific, Tony! That makes Donkey Kong so very happy," it replies. "Is the priest coming to come play with us soon, Tony!"

"Yes, the priest is going to come play with us very soon," the boy answers to the Donkey Kong in the funny hat dancing, dancing to....

'SNIPPETS!'

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 16, 2005

WPNN, Paragon's leading news network, has secured this exclusive one-on-one interview with Paragon Police Chief Burt Calloway.

Jon Arcroft: What leads do you have on the huge Troll heist that took place at the end of May?

Burt Calloway: Well, I've been working with a team of top-notch sketch artists to compose a drawing of the master mind behind this diabolical act. As you can see, he has a wide forehead which encloses the brain of a criminal genius beneath. Despite his scraggly appearance, which he wears to blend in on the street, his true evil and brilliant nature is revealed through his dark, beedy, deep-set eyes.

Jon Arcroft: Um, you do know who this is a drawing of don't you?

Burt Calloway: Yes, this is the criminal mastermind behind one of the biggest scores ever taken down in Paragon.

Jon Arcroft: This is a composite drawing of Fyodor Dostoevsky, the author of "Crime and Punishment".

Burt Calloway: No, it's not.

Jon Arcroft: Yes, it is.

Burt Calloway: No, it's not.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 15, 2005

"First off, Troll twins, twins gotta start big-time stealin' cars. Sister car big-time suck. Jimmy Foster once tell Bo Bindel Mary Helen look at three things -- Troll's house, Troll's shoes, and Troll's car," say Bo Bindel. "But mainly it gonna make Bo Bindel money."

Twins agree.

"Secondly, Bo Bindel got him do everything around here. Bo Bindel try to come up with names for Trolls now that you no have Trollkin prefix. All you say Bo Bindel, 'dunno, dunno, duno'," say Bo Bindel. "You new names be -- Dunnovel and Dunnogard."

Twins agree.

"Thirdly, Bo Bindel got big-time first assignment for Troll twins. Bo Bindel got major problem at hospital him got to fix. Need to distract Police Drones with sexy female. Troll twins gonna shave legs and dress as candy stripers."

Twins no agree.

Bo Bindel's Troll
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 14, 2005

Bo Bindel:

Hello. This Bo Bindel.


Oglost:

What Bo Bindel doing? Bo Bindel go rabbit-hunting with Oglost?


Bo Bindel:

Bo Bindel no can. Got him problem with Cay Man gotta fix.


Oglost:

Who Cay Man?


Bo Bindel:

Jerk on island with Swedish bank account.


Oglost:

Cay Man jerk gotta wait.


Bo Bindel:

This 'bout security guard company stuff.


Oglost:

'Dat sound big-time.


Bo Bindel:

Yeah, pretty much. What you hear 'bout Bo Bindel making promotion stuff like that?


Oglost:

What you 'dyne in-take like?


Bo Bindel:

Well, Bo Bindel hanging out with Oglost so 'dyne in-take pretty big-time.


Oglost:

What kind of promotion you want? Ogre got him stone stuff, then there Caliban, Gardvord.


Bo Bindel:

What Caliban do?


Oglost:

Caliban got him smash power, branch up butt power. They kinda combination between what cape jerk call a controller and scrapper


Bo Bindel:

So they like a "crapper"?


Oglost:

Pretty much.


Bo Bindel:

Bo Bindel do plenty of that without super power.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 13, 2005

BO BINDEL:

As head of naming committee, Bo Bindel big-time call forth Trollkin twins formerly named Attavel and Attagard.

As Trollkins, you big-time repre-whatever Atta big-time well and all 'dat. From hence forth you official Troll names for as long as you be brothers of us Trolls and stuff be...DEVILVEL AND EGGARD!


ATTAVEL:

Oh, man, that big-time suck, Bo Bindel!


BO BINDEL

What you mean?


ATTAGARD:

Yeah, Bo Bindel no name us after FOOD, Bo Bindel!


BO BINDEL:

What you want? That big-time scary name.


SVRGYN:

New Trolls may be right, Bo. Pretty sure new Troll got veto power over own name.


BO BINDEL:

Bo no think so. What you think, Beovark?


BEOVARK:

Those names fine. Pretty much Beovark jus' wanna' bust outta Momma Bindel's basement.


ATTAGARD:

Beovark, you #^$! You big-time #^$!


BO BINDEL:

What official Troll by-law say 'bout Troll name?


SVRGYN:

Trolls no have, by-laws. This whole naming committee whatever Bo Bindel's idea over late-night snack.


BO BINDEL:

So how you know new Trolls got veto power over name then?


SVRGYN:

Well, how you get name Bo Bindel?


BO BINDEL:

Bo no know. Bo think always 'dat name.


SVRGYN:

Well, if Freudel name you, what you name be right now?


BEOVARK:

Probably Bo instead be @#$fjord!"


SVRGYN:

Ha ha ha! Probably we be calling Bo, $#%#@glost"


BEOVARK:

More like jack-@$$fryd!


ATTAVEL:

Ha! Yeah. If Freudel get to name Bo Bindel, his name be @@#*ing @^*@*&#vlard!!


BO BINDEL:

Okay. Okay. Bo Bindel get what you goin for! What smart-@$$ new Trolls want 'dem big-time names be?


ATTAVEL:

Dunno.


ATTAGARD:

Yeah...no know.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 10, 2005

So, maybe you sensitive jerk and think life very simple tree-hugging crap. But life very complicated and Bo Bindel tell you how.

Bo Bindel pull off, 'dat right, big-time Troll heist. 'Dat good.

Bo Bindel pretty sure Oglost get all credit for it. 'Dat bad.

Now, big-time Oglost call and want hang out with Bo Bindel all the time. 'Dat good.

But, Oglost crazy and gonna get Bo Bindel killed worse than kape jerk. 'Dat bad.

Bo Bindel serious about this. Bo Bindel chest getting tight tell tree-huggin' love jerk 'dat this ain't fun and games in Paragon City!! Raaaawwr!!!

[ QUOTE ]
So, here's my idea: The "Incarnate" ability refers to being the power of a god "Incarnate". Statesman may be Zeus, he's incredibly powerful, and can call his lightning. Perhaps Recluse is the incarnate power of some vile spider diety (thus his reference to a "curse", perhaps Statesman sees him being 'cursed' to the incarnate of that evil being). Perhaps when we become an Incarnate we get to pick a unique ability..like Statesma has his lightning, representing Zeus. Perhaps we pick a "diety" and get an ability corresponding to it.

[/ QUOTE ]

In one of the books of the Bible, they speak about, paraphrasing here, let there not be among you a consulter of spirits, a neuromancer, a magician, a fore-seer of times, etc, for these things are an abomination. There is so much magic going on in Paragon that I couldn't resist! I used this for my character concept of TheExorcist. Any magic-based beings ARE the problem with society according to the Voice of G-d, that gives TheExorcist his (grav/ff) controller powers. Thus, he is natural, so that is interesting the point that you have made hereas it has been the basis for TheExorcist.

Another explanation is, how can a controller, emp defender or non-brute player be natural? Well, if we use 10 percent of our brains, than perhaps we also use 10 percent of our bodies, Add up these two 90 percents = a big ol' blast of laser beam coming out me eyes!

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 9, 2005

This most recent question come from -- jerk guessed it -- Dr. Neuro-whatever:

Question: Helloooooooooo, Mr. Bindel! I am writing to find out if you received our invitation to my super group's annual gala!? It was titled the Society of Do-Gooder's Ho-Down in Hero-Town! Isn't that delightfully rustic yet exquisitely je ne se quoi!? It was such a wonderful time! You simply must come to the next one!

First, the Blue Flash made a joke that since Cap'n Comeuppance has hit level 7, cats in trees has hit an all time low! Then, J'nith'r'a'a'a'a -- everyone's favorite swashbuckling maiden -- said that 'Thank Gawd Lord Rectificator has changed his name so as not to be confused with that Lord Recluse" who is of course, dreadful, dreadful, dreadful.

And in other exciting news from the party, we've decided that you -- Mr. Bo Bindel -- will be our arch-enemy! Isn't that lovely?! So, you know what comes next! You're going to get your come-uppance, Bo Bindel. Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. You wil have your....

ANSWER: Look, Bo Bindel sure Dr. guy real nice crazy kape jerk and all 'dat, but...Dr. Neuro-whatever got him ignore.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 8, 2005

You ever hear of "Building Better Boat Models" by Dynamite Payton?

What 'bout "101 Dynamite Answers to Interview Questions" by Caryl Krannich?

What 'bout "Napolean Dynamite" on DVD?

Yeah, neither Bo Bindel. More importantly, neither Freudel, but betcha buncha Superdyne Atta has.

See, being Troll not always easy. (Svrgyn had real rough first few months.) Atta -- biggest big-time Troll -- knows all stuff 'bout dynamiite, blowing up places, making 'dem cozy. Atta no like other Trolls knowing this stuff. 'Dat just Atta.

So, tonight, when all Trolls celebrating Trollkin twins and new Trolls at hideout, Bo Bindel gonna sneak this smart-guy stuff into Freudel's locker. When Atta find out about Freudel having big-time texts on dynamite, it gonna be bye-bye Freudel.

What? You see Troll with one scary incisor sticking out lower jaw instead of two, that Bo Bindel.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 7, 2005

"Why Bo Bindel have to wear yamaka?" ask Bo Bindel.

"'Cause Trollkin twins making Troll today! They getting Bar MItzvahed!" say Svrgyn.

"So," say Bo Bindel. "Bo Bindel not Jewish."

"Yeah," say Svrgyn. "But Trollkin twins are Jewish and today not about Bo Bindel. Today about Trollkin twins."

"Svrgyn the Troll starting to sound like Julius the Troll," say Bo.

Svrgyn say, "Let Svrgyn put it different way. 'Nana nana no nindel. Janana jana jo jo jindel. Ne Ny no nindel. Trollkin Twins!"

"Okay. Okay," say Bo Bindel. "Bo Bindel wear yamaka. Svrgyn stop singing."

"That deal", say Svrgyn.

Now, Bo Bindel going to Bar Mitzvah thanks to Trollkins twins, in yamaka thanks to Svrgyn, with one incisor thanks to Freudal. Bo Bindel hanging out with wrong crowd.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skywey City
JUNE 6, 2005

Wape werk, swend Mwo Mwindel med cwom pwatch! Do nwow!

Swo, Mwo mig-twime Wutal AN' Bwo Bwindel po' off bwig-time mwoney heist. Mwo Mwindel wubbing it 'n Fweudel's facshe.

Fweudal say big-time mwuppreciate Mwo's idea and mwants help Mwo Mwindel wif toof ashe. Fweudal tie schring to Pawagon monowail. Tie ofeh' end to Mwo Mwindel's toof. Well, turn out Twolls got pwetty stwong teef.

Dat dang twain dwag Mwo Mwindel frough free shities befwah toof come out. Mwo Mwindel fink him in Bwickstown. Mwo Mwindel figeh dat amout 150 Wouncil, 100 Fweak Sho', fifshy Zshig pwisonehs, wand one Twoll. Dat' Mwo Mwindel.

Swo, wend wedcom pwatch. Mwo gif wight back.

Sheesh. Mwo Mwindel hate Fweudel. Swo mush, Mwo Mwindel hate Fweudel.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 2, 2005

Bo Bindel watching the Adventures of Fire Imp #008 & Anonymous Vicious Rikti Monkey. This one gonna be good one too. Cartoons all dressed like Benjamin Franklin Troll and on pirate ship.

Momma Bindel gonna interrupt me with phone call from Cayman Islands for Bo Bindel.

"Yeah, this Bo," say Bo. "What you want, Cay Man?"

"This isn't 'Cay Man', Mr. Bindel. This is Redmond Farnsworth the III," says caller.

"Yeah, so?" ask Bo.

"I was your silent partner in our security guard company venture," says Cay Man.

"Uh huh," say Bo.

"Well," say Cay Man. "My son was supposed to meet me down here in the Cayman Islands and he never made it."

"Bo no care. Bo got him cartoon on," Bo tell Cay Man.

"Well, part of our agreement was no rough stuff. My son was working as a security guard at one of the companies you guys ripped off," say Cay Man. "One of the Trolls beat him up very badly."

"Oh," say Bo Bindel. "Yeah, that probably Oglost. Bo Bindel sorry about that."

"Be that as it may, pretty soon the police are going to realize that what every company robbed has in common is that they all hired the same security company. Then they are going to notice that the owner of said security company, me, has vanished. This will lead them to the hospital, where my son is," say Cay Man.

"Son got COBRA benefits expired too?" Bo ask.

"No, Mr. Bindel. I'm calling to tell you that unless you want my son to sing like a canary, you and your boys better find him a way to get him out of that hospital like yesterday," say Cay Man.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
JUNE 1, 2005

So, Bo Bindel, Beovark and Svrgyn kicking back at the Dirty Duck bar after pulling off big-time Troll heist! No problems. No politics. Just kicking back. Big-time celebrating by Bo Bindel crew.

Beovark say, "So, what Bo Bindel's all-time, big-time favorite weapon?"

"Bo have to go with rock," Bo say. "Bo lift big rock above head, big-time throwing then it gonna be big-time lights out. Who gonna stop Bo Bindel's rock?"

Beovark say, "Beovark have to go with stone."

"Stone?" say Bo Bindel. "How stone gonna be better than rock!?"

Beovark say, "Beovark like him big-time precision. Beovark take rock with one hand, big-time throwing. Pin-point vital area and big-time crush it!"

"Beovark good with hand-eye stuff. Bo Bindel give you that," say Bo Bindel.

"What 'bout Svrgyn?," ask Bo. "What Svrgyn's favorite weapon?"

"Svrgyn have to go with boulder," say Svrgyn.

"Svrgyn no throw boulder," say Beovark. "Probably boulder gonna fall on small-time Svrgyn's head he trying to throw."

"All Troll's life never seen Svrgyn throw boulder," say Bo.

"Svrgyn set up boulder in Hollows as big-time trap," say Svrgyn. "Set lose boulder with big stick. Boulder go rolling down hill and crush big-time stupid super group."

"'That no count. That two big-time weapons. That rock AND stick," say Beovark.

"Okay, then Svrgyn gotta go with brick," say Svrgyn.

That Svrgyn for you. Always the aristo-Troll.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 31, 2005

'Dis reprint without explicit content!

Night of the Trolls
by Jon Arcroft
Special Contributor to the Paragon Times

Five days a week for four years now, Arthur Randall feared the morning drive to work. The tension of Trolls still simmering from last night's Superdyne bender usually clog the long stretches of concrete and scaffolding making up Skyway's functional yet controversial freeway system. On the morning of Friday, May 27th, however, Arthur Randall was relieved to see not one Troll, until he made it into work to learn his storage and warehousing business and the personal belongings of all his clients were robbed by a rowdy gang of Trolls. Estimates put his and his clients' losses at around $250,000 worth of merchandise. Perhaps the greatest loss may be the trust of his customers.

It was a quiet night in the Hollows on Thursday, May 26th. There was the ever-present chanting of the Circle of Thorns and the hovering and posturing of the Outcast mutant population. Still, beneath the city few explosions were heard, a trademark of the Trolls bent on turning our surface world into nothing more than a ceiling sheltering their dirty-work below. Red River ran quietly through the ironic green beauty of the Hollows in the Summer months.

Ask Norma Peterson who hasn't been able to enjoy what is now the Hollows in 5 years and she will tell you the dynamite was blowing up the bank vault where she has been a manager since 2002. Another gang of Trolls made it out of that heist with almost a million in cash.

Police estimate over 900 Trolls, perhaps every Troll and Trollkin in existence robbed 125 businesses on May 26 totaling approximately $3.5 million in stolen merchandise. Everything from liquor stores to post offices were bilked of their property all over Paragon City, even in towns free of Trolls.

Asked what police efforts are underway and Burt Calloway, head of the Paragon Police Department says, "Well, I plan to read all 953 pages of 'Crime & Punishment' by (Fyodor) Dostoevsky. I find that to solve a crime of this magnitude, you really have to get into the mind of the criminal. Well, that and I'm taking a course on Russian literature. It helps to take my mind off of having the worst job in the world. I'm reading (Aleksandr) Pushkin next!"

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 26, 2005

Bo Bindel visualize now crime of century. Bo Bindel ohhhhhhhmmm. Bo Bindel ohhhhhhhmmm.

(Back on Tuesday.)

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 25, 2005

Lord Recluse,

Big talk in secret hideout all over town is that Dr. Recluse big-time coming to Paragon City this year/next year. Bo Bindel writing to tell Mr. Recluse DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! This Bo Bindel territory.

As a matter of fact, Bo Bindel think he expanding his operation down there to South America. Bo Bindel hear you got beautiful women and big-time guitar music. Bo also bet that George Washington Troll stretch pretty far in Argentina. Probably Captain Recluse's little spider legs gonna want to run away, but that rock gonna be flying through the air very fast Bo Bindel throwing.

Maybe Posh Recluse think 'cause Bo Bindel writing that this negotiatiable. This done deal, Baby Recluse! Bo Bindel be eating deviled eggs off your mesa and crapping on your bano this time next week!(1)

Bo Bindel

1) And Bo Bindel know in certain part of South America they speak Portugese, not Spanish, so don't be stuck-up jerk about it!

2) Svrgyn tell Bo Bindel that proper format for end notes is to have at least two, so shut up!

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 24, 2005

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Minutes

Meeting with The Family
Inde-whatever Port
Meeting Held on that Day Star Fire Got Mad Robin Talking to Other Girl (Stupid Robin!)

This spaghetti good.

Who that slurping Beovark or Svrgyn?

Marinara good but alfredo good too.

Why Family use spoon for spaghetti?

Whoever slurping Bo gonna big-time kick under table.

These guys look pretty serious.

There a stain here on notes.

Why Family use fork for spaghetti?

Bo pretty sure that Beovark slurping.

Stain look like marinara.

Family got investor acquiring big-name security company before he disappear to Cayman's. Family getting Bo list of all businesses security company work for. Pickney & Son doing buy-sell agreeement for investor to finalize on May 27. Don't rob businesses til after that. Must steal at least $1 and 3/4 million to cover all costs. Gonna take all Trolls to do it. Deposit $325,000 in Swedish bank acoount #00185895404 by May 31.

Dat does it. Bo kicking Beovark under the table.

Oop...that was Bo Bindel slurping.

Now Beovark thinking it Svrgyn.

He kicking Svrgyn. Bo big-time laughing.

Momma Bindel use Prego sauce. It pretty good.

One of these things Family guy say big-time important.

Bo Bindel hope it not thing marina blocking.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
MAY 23, 2005

Sunday morning Bo Bindel got him comfy slipper, bowl of Chex, and Bo Bindel's second favorite cartoon on, starring Fire Imp and Vicious Rikti money. Fire Imp and Rikti Monkey big-time hate each other!

Bo Bindel's tooth aching. But pretty soon Fire Imp #08 gonna smash Anyonymous Vicious Rikti Monkey with frying pan! Big-time hilarious and Bo not thinking 'bout tooth.

What you waiting for Fire Imp #08?! Anonymous Vicious Rikti Monkey you arch-enemy on Sundays!