Fire_Guardian_EU

Author’s Note:

This is a quick story, designed to get me in the mood for re-starting work on “Dark Mirror”. It’s part of the Guardian Stories universe, but still, of course, considered AU to City of Heroes. It’s only considered AU because I can’t be bothered to research absolutely everything, and any canonological fault is merely because it’s AU. So there.

[u]A CoXmas Carol
[u]By Fire Guardian

Chapter One

December 24th

2:36am

Now I remember why I hate kids.

What with all my adventures, the things I’ve seen and done, there’s one thing that’s always managed to scare me more than anything. Not Lord Tyrant, not those sodding Malta Sappers, and not even a giant single-celled organism called Hamidon.
There’s nothing quite so eerie as the lone, keening wail of an infant.

Emily was out in Atlas Park on business, called in at the middle of the night because some Hero or other had gotten his Jingle Jetpack misfiring, and had got his cape tangled up in the ropes which helped suspend the flag on top of the pole of City Hall. As the City Representative, she had been asked to go down and help him out before he destroyed the whole hall. Since she was out of our home in Overbrook, it fell upon me to go and see what the Screaming Beast of Doom (otherwise known as my delightful son) wanted.
As I walked out of my bedroom, I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the light in the hallway. The light automatically got dimmer – not by the lighting itself, but rather, my electronic eyes recognised the act of me squinting, and turned down the amount of light I could ‘see’.

Rather handy, these things.

I went to what was my office, and was now Sammy’s bedroom, and checked in on him. My two month old son was lying in his crib, sleeping peacefully.
Frowning to myself, I floated out of his room slowly, and wandered down to the kitchen, to make a snack.
‘That’s odd.’ I thought to myself, as I put some mayonnaise onto a piece of bread. ‘I could have sworn that I’d heard a baby crying.’. My thoughts instantly turned back to the short holiday I’d taken with Emily and baby Sammy a few days ago, at the Dimensional Ski Resort. I had been approached…well…harangued, really, into helping rescue ‘Baby Time’ from a long-time enemy of mine, Snaptooth.
As I put some beef into the sandwich, my mood brightened somewhat. ‘I must have been dreaming about that mission. That must be it.’
The screaming of a baby, however, shook my out of my reverie. Glancing towards the stairs, I realised that it wasn’t coming from Sammy’s room…nor was it waking him up. It was, instead, coming from the lounge.

Slowly, I peeked my head around the archway that lead to our ‘retro-minimalistic’ living room, and I froze.
“You took your time.”
I blinked, to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, then stepped into the lounge.
“That was you?”
The person in front of me tilted his head back, and did a passable imitation of a baby crying.
“Ah.”
“Yeah, that was me. Who else?”
“My…my son?”
“What? You finally banged someone enough times you had a kid?”
“Uhh…yeah.”
“Way to go my son!”
“Thanks. Can I…ask you something?”
“Fire away!”
“It’s just…aren’t you dead?”
Sammy Edwards smirked at me. “As a doornail.”

***

“I don’t understand it.”
“You don’t understand [censored].”
I glared at my long-dead friend. “Your mum.”
“Ahhh, another handsome retort from the living.”
“Look, shut up. You’re dead.”
“You’re ugly.”
“You’re dead!”
“You’re still ugly.”
“Sammy!”
“…What?”
“You’re dead!”
“Hey, Jay? Guess what?”
“What?”
“I boned your mum. And you’re ugly.”
I sighed and sat down. This could take a while.
“Anyway, look, I’m here for a reason.”
“You’re dead.”
“No [censored], Sherlock. Now, look…”
“No, -you- look. There’s no way you can be here. Absolutely no way. You died years ago.”
“Jay, I’m trying to get to my point, but…”
“This has to be a nightmare. Or…an allergic reaction!”
“No, I’m here. You can see me. You can hear me. Why’re you so against what your eyes and ears are telling you?”
“Because something might be deceiving them! You could be a bit of indigestion, for all I know. That must be it!” I pointed at Sammy. “There’s more of Bisto than of Beast about you!”
Sammy’s ghost stared at me. “Are you done ripping off Charles Dickens yet?” Another thought occurred to him. “Wait…do you even get Bisto over here? Maaan, I would have done the mum from those old ads.”
I glared at the spectre in front of me. “Well…I give up.”
“Good. Frankly, you’re being a dick.”
“Hey!”
“Now, look. Jay, you’ve done some good in the world. You’ve also done some serious bad.”
What?
“What?”
“You heard me. I was right by your side for some of them, and I’ve done some bad things myself…that’s why I wear these for all eternity.”
As Sammy stretched his arms out in front of him, I could see that there was something restraining him…something dark, and evil, and…
“Are those fuzzy handcuffs?”
Sammy looked down, and blushed. At least, I think he blushed. He got even paler around the cheeks.
“Damn, I knew I should have finished up before I came here.”
“Ya think?”
“Anyway.” Sammy floated higher into the air. “I have summoned you here for a purpose.”
“That’s great, Orson Welles. Get down, will you? I don’t want ectoplasm on my ceiling fan.”
“What?” Sammy looked up, and saw the fan, in full motion, inches from his head.
“Oh, [censored]. No time!” He moved closer and closer to the fan.
“Youregonnabevisitedbythreeghostsfromnoonbye!”
I blinked.
“Uhh…wanna say that again?”
Sammy glared at me. “Youregonnabevisitedbythreeghostsfromnoonbye!”
“Yeeaaahh…” I scratched my head. “Still didn’t get that.”
“I [censored] hate you.”
“Good. Because you’re dead. Now try it again, and slower.”
“You’re going to be visited by three ghosts. The first one will be coming for you at noon.”
“Ahh.” I frowned. “Hang on. Noon on Christmas Eve day? Sod off.”
“Jay?”
“And who’s ripping off Charles Dickens now, dead boy?”

Whatever answer Sammy would have given, I wouldn’t know, as the ceiling fan tore him to shreds, and splattered ectoplasm all over my lounge, and me.

“Ugh!” I tried to scrape the Sammy-gunk off me, when I heard a voice whisper, “Expect the first ghost at noon…”
“What the hell?”
I looked down, and there was a large splatter of ectoplasm on my Power Belt, which had a shape on it, which looked somewhat like a mouth.
“Dude,” it said. “I are on ur belt, chatting up ur laydies.”
As I felt the room spin, and watched it get darker, I could only part my lips slightly. But it was enough.
“Motherfu…”
And then I passed out.

Maybe it wasn’t enough.

---

Since I can't enter THIS contest, even though it's right up my alley, I decided to pen a little something in the Christmas spirit.


T'was the night before Christmas
And through our fair game
Not a player was stirring
Which was really lame.

The newbie who got it
As an early gift
Was spamming for teamplay
And getting quite miffed.

He used his new Jump-pack
From Good Versus Evil
And tottered and teetered
On the globe like a Weeble.

"Why is no-one here?"
He cried in alarm
"I've a Blaster to play
And Enhancements to Farm"

When, all at once
There arose such a stupor
And Heroes arrived
Who were very Super.

The Scrapper with Claws
In spandex so yellow
The Blaster in red
Who was very mellow.

The Controller sure
About her Containment
The Tanker who laughed
And Taunted to contentment

Stasis stood proud
And Weasel beside her
Infernius near
Drinking nearby cider

DreamWeaver stood poised
And ready for action
Xanthus was moaning
'Bout PvP Factions

Chiefette in bikini
The male players swooned
Not knowing that Catz
Would leave them marooned

On islands of desert
All covered in snow
With bumps on their heads
From a hammer blow

FG was still missing
But somewhere around
Armed with christmas music
Melodious sounds

His morning show prepared
He sat very smug
Remember to tune in!
(Gratuitous Plug)

Raz there in Atlas
His wings flapping round
As the Newbie stared at him
And jumped to the ground

His health bar dipped down low
He was in the red
But luckily falling
Would not make him dead

When someone jumped out
Of the City Hall
Affected by Confuse
And ready to brawl

He smacked the poor Newbie
Once twice, three times!
The newbie then faded
To some safer climes

And Spawnus then cackled
(For yes, it was him)
As players petitioned
He said with a grin

"I got you, young Newbie!"
As others turned glum.
"Merry Christmas to you,
And I've had your mum!"

Whilst I liked the novel above, I prefer The Adventures Of Super-Rabbi, otherwise known as "NaNoWriMo art", and he came sooo close.

Ahhh. Cast your mind back to late December, in The Hollows. You were teaming with an Fire/Elec Blaster in a horrible brown and bright blue costume called "The Electric Toaster", who saw your name and went "Oooh, KOTOR Fan!"

It was pretty cool. After somewhere in the regions of around ten or eleven hours of playing today, I dinged by doing absolutely nothing. I had a timed mission counting down in the background to give me some extra XP, but I realised too late that it would be far, far too much.

I started playing on December 23rd - and I started playing FG on the 24th or 25th, so it's almost been exactly 11 months spent on one character (taking the occasional break to play in random theme events) before getting him to level 50. There are a lot of people who helped me hit my first 50, and although I don't remember a lot of their names, I still want to thank them. Stas, Weas, Infy, Xan, Spawn, Quilty, Z, Max, Ice Tank Boy, Syra, Aug, Ebon Hawk (the only person I can remember from my first ever in-game team), Chiefie, Catz, Judgement Dave, Spurr, the members of the (possibly defunct) S.E.C.R.E.T SG, which I once belonged to....you get the idea.

And now, the most important question of all:

WHY THE [censored] DON'T WE HAVE POST 50 CONTENT?

Seriously, though, the past 11 months have been an absolute blast, and I'm looking forward to playing my Peacebringer, Jason Tucker (the continuation of FG), or my Warshade, Squiddy Cent (he used to be a rapper, you know) in Paragon City.

Ladies and gentlemen....it is time.

When I first started playing this game, I took a look around and decided I had to do four things in my first year.

Become Creative Genius
Take a character to level 50
Become an Evo DJ
Gain fame (or notoriety) for my singing

I've done all but one of these; ironically, the one I haven't done is the one that's arguably the easiest to do. Over the weekend, I'll be taking care of that, as well. Starting at noon on Saturday (about 12 hours from my post going up) I'll be commencing my Run To 50™. I'm currently hovering half a bar in from 49, and I want to see just how long it takes me to get to 50. Since a lot of people from here are going to Memorabilia over the weekend, we need something to keep the people staying behind going, and I'd like to volunteer my Main as a possible way to do that.

I don't care what AT you play.
I don't care what Powersets you have.
I don't care how you've slotted.

All I care about is if people show up, and team up. Depending on debt incurred, etc, this may take several, several hours, and may run into Sunday as well. A very rough estimate puts at about 20 odd missions with a full team on Unyielding, assuming I don't Plant. I'm sincerely hoping I don't, but no matter if I do.

No nonsense, no garbage, just mission after mission after mission. Let's game the hell out of our toons, and leave a dent on the Mob population, the likes of which will be talked about for weeks to come!

Aardy's already confirmed that he's up for it, so that's one space down, six more to fill. Either reply here, or simply be at Atlas, under the statue, at noon. Be prepared for Malta and Carnies!

They wouldn't work in the Arena, though...

Level One? Hmmm, okay, sounds interesting...

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well.. actually.. He hid in his PFF everytime I had his health down to a sliver...

[/ QUOTE ]
so not so much AR doesn't suck as force mastery is a brilliant pool

[/ QUOTE ]

I shall wreak havoc upon the unbelievers!

No, seriously. Havoc Fang. You don't want him near you, trust me.

It isn't as if I spent my entire time in PFF, popping out for a few seconds each time. I hit PFF after getting my first kill (with the exception of Fire Sword, it was all AR), and after FFM had wandered off to get his bearings (I'd imagine he had a whole 'WTH' vibe going on, too) and I needed to buy some time to safely pop some greens and blues. The second time, yes, I put it on after retreating to save my backside getting seriously kicked, however, it isn't as if I can attack through the PFF. As I mentioned in the Forumites global a few hours before the match-up...

A wise man once said "don't just PUNCH,KICK...use ALL the powrs at ur disposl".

(edited since WTH -H +F is now censored)

[ QUOTE ]
I can't resist supporting an underdog. You can do it FG! Wooo!

[/ QUOTE ]

I can...and I did. 2-0 win to me. Awesome match, and FFM made me fight hard for both of those wins. Well done to him, and I hope I've proven to more than one person that AR/ is, in fact, hardly useless.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That would be interesting, but in my experiences in there (admittedly few) the map couldn't be chosen, but it was selected at random.

[/ QUOTE ]

Its the only map in Pocket D Arena

[/ QUOTE ]

I beg to differ. The last time I had an Arena match was in the Pocket D Arena, and it took place in the Warehouse map. Granted, they may have changed this, but, coupled with the fact that not everyone has access to Test, doing it on one of the live servers would probably be a better bet, for spectating.

That would be interesting, but in my experiences in there (admittedly few) the map couldn't be chosen, but it was selected at random.

[ QUOTE ]
Im going to say if it were an unskilled power versus power match the Peacebringer would win hands down, but the right tactics here could swing the fight in the completely opposite direction. Though, i have no faith in AR, or Fire, (what Epic do you have?). 10-2 on FFG for the win.

[/ QUOTE ]

Epic? That would be telling. If FFM gets to keep his sets secret, so do I. If you want to know, come along and find out tonight!

[ QUOTE ]
Doesn't /fire have Build Up? Or at least Aim? (I know bushbaby's got both of them on her fire/fire).

[/ QUOTE ]

/Fire has Build Up, but I've limited myself in that the AR/ set is the only Blaster primary (to my knowledge) that doesn't have Aim.

[ QUOTE ]
Or did he just not take it

[/ QUOTE ]

That would be silly.

First FG Attack:

M30 Grenade
Ring Of Fire
Hot Feet
Slug

It's a guaranteed win, babeh!

[ QUOTE ]
Keep talking, laughing boy.. You'll convince yourself yet!

[/ QUOTE ]

And once that's done, half the battle is won.

[ QUOTE ]
PFffttt! I shall need no awakens!

[/ QUOTE ]

Very true. It just means he'd die faster.

[ QUOTE ]
If you want 10 minutes, sure... I guess people WOULD be rather dissapointed in a match that finishes in 2 minutes...

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't be too hard on yourself, FFM. I'm sure you'll do okay.

[ QUOTE ]
For this match, I will not be RPing!! Cause if I did, I'd have to let you beat me up a few times, then go crazy and utterly erase you from existence... And we don't want that, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

The sheer thought of an RP PvP match actually tickles my funnybone, but it'd take too long. In fact, that reminds me. Since it'll probably take a while for a "first to 10 kills" match, shall we change it to a 10 minute match?

[ QUOTE ]
This just a friendly little match, to show people that AR iz teh suxx04z!!

[/ QUOTE ]

You, sir, have besmirched AR for the last time!

[ QUOTE ]
My build is top secret!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

As is mine. However, FFM, if you want to take a five minute break in between the damage I deal you, so you can Roleplay each attack, I perfectly understand.

Maybe. Maybe not. We'll find out in seven hours.

Place your bets now, ladies and gentlemen! In one corner, we have a Level 50 Triform Peacebringer. In the other, we have the most underutilised and much maligned powersets for a Blaster in the game.

Who will win? Who will take the bets? Let's find out!

Yes, come tonight and watch me decimate the reigning Floating champ.

Although FFM has the home advantage, being in Galaxy and all, I'm sure I will emerge victorious. After all, nothing beats Ring Of Fire.

Oh, definately, but I can't think of a suitable replacement analogy for the OP.

Well, the smoking analogy amuses me, because in restuarants, there's a smoking section and a non-smoking section. If you're a non-smoker and you sit in the smoking section, you can't complain about smelling smoke.

I've been in RV a bit over the past few days, to try and get a little bit of Prestige going for my SG (I end up earning more debt than I earn XP, so it pretty much rules out any levelling) and whenever someone comes along and attacks me, I attack them back. Not because I'm obligated to, or whatever, but because it means I get to pretend that any and everyone attacking me is a moron who can't spell (which their smacktalk seems to verify) and I get to kill them dead. When it comes to Stalkers, then yes, it gets annoying when they attack me from being hidden, but that's what Accuracy inspirations are for. And, when it comes to going into RV, I'd never dream of going in alone, because to survive in there for any conceivable amount of time, you NEED someone in there to watch your back.