The Freedom Test

So, we're going to be inviting EVERYONE to come play our game, are we? The criteria for entry to our formerly exclusive club has dropped from "Willing to pay $15 a month" to "owns a computer and can at least steal internet from the neighbor's wi-fi."

Perhaps this is a leeettle too easy? I mean... what kind of people can we expect with those kinds of guidelines? I propose every person who wishes to play our game for free be forced to take the following "Minimum Requirement(s)" test.

Just so we can weed out the people who really shouldn't play City of Heroes with the rest of us.

1) When you see a female Crey Field Agent fly up and fall down to land with her legs spread wide in that short skirt do you...

a) gasp in alarm, avert your eyes and drape your cape over her until the teleporter takes her away to preserve her modesty.

b) ignore her... there are other Crey to slaughter and XP to harvest!

c) think "oh yeah... she's a tease..." and hit Print Screen.

2) When an Embalmed Vahzilok squats in front of you but out of sight of the squishy blaster do you...

a) shove the the blaster out of the way and throw your body over the Vahzilok to absorb the blast.

b) kill the danged thing before it can blast or at the very least get some damage on it so the xp aren't lost.

c) back off and think this is going to be funnier than that time you slipped the whoopee cushion into grandma's chair at Thanksgiving dinner.

[b]3) Your team mates have all fallen in battle, leaving only you alive, do you...

a) immediately begin encouring them to try again even as you teleport their bodies to safety while passing out wakies to those who need it.

b) gloat about your leet skills at combat while fighting whatever enemies are still standing.

c) walk up to the team member with the star and do the teabag emote; immediately getting upset when it wasn't what you thought it was.

4) You are high level but while running through Atlas Park you come across a purse tug-of-war in progress, do you...

a) stop to aid the hapless woman get back her property and administer swift chastisement upon the miscreant!

b) run on past; no XP = no interest.

c) kill the snatcher, make lewd innuendos to the victim and then take the purse yourself.

5) You decide to play a character on the Villain side of the pond; do you...

a) I would never play a Villain! My flesh hardens to horrified gooseflesh at the very thought!

b) XP is XP; power is power... so long as I can kill something... preferably LOTS of somethings...

c) You call these missions villainous?! I've earned boy scout merit badges for doing worse things than this!

6) Someone announces a costume contest under the Atlas statue; do you...

a) join immediately! You love community building events like this!

b) ignore it. If it isn't earning you loot or XP then it isn't worth your time.

c) join immediately! Then, the moment the judge gets in position to start looking at the costumes, activate an AoE Ice Shield buff... and Glacial Shield... oh... and Arctic Fog for good measure.

7) A low level character needs help crossing The Hollows to get to their mission door; do you...

a) have them wait in the safety of the police barricade while you travel to the mission door and teleport them there.

b) team with them and travel the breadth of the Hollows together, killing every spawn you come across for loot and XP.

c) have them wait in the safety of the police barricade while you travel into the pit, find the biggest nastiest spawn of Igneous you can and teleport them into the middle of it. Perhaps stopping to get some popcorn to much while watching the show.

8) Statesman has asked you to help repel an incoming Praetorian invasion! Do you...

a) gird yourself for war! The clarion call has sounded and there is only one honorable thing to do!

b) leap headlong into the fray! Invasion XP is sweeEEeet!

c) ask him if he only has a half a helmet because he only has to protect half a brain.

9) You are fighting side by side with Sister Psyche and your team when the heroine falls in battle! Your team rushes ahead heedless of her plight. Do you...

a) stop immediately to lend aid while calling to your team mates to wait until she is fully recovered.

b) rush along with your team. Vengeance is not only sweet, it is often profitable!

c) stop immediately while letting you team mates run onwards. Admire the way your drool glistens on her plastic-like costume.

10) You are, for the moment, an unblemished hero. A team is advertising that they are running Vigilante tip missions and are looking for more members. Do you...

a) politely refuse then admonish them for straying from the path of light into the twisted maze of shadow.

b) join in for the XP frenzy; after all... you can just refuse to do the morality mission later on.

c) explain how you're not high enough level to take advantage of the alignment missions. Since the only way you are an unblemished hero is if you were too low a level to get tip missions in the first place.

Gotta be able to read to even know about the game, man, unless you go to cons or have friends who are into the game. Even then, getting the game requires reading, installing the game requires reading, playing the game requires reading. Gotta be a bit more strict than that.