The Forum Freaks Super Booster Pack!

Announcing the newest of Steelclaw Stu... er... Paragon Studios' marvelous booster packs: The Forum Freaks Super Booster!

This Booster will provide you with no in-game powers or changes, but is instead intended to enhance your Forums experience a hundred fold! Just look at the marvelous benefits you'll receive with your purchase:

* The Time Crawl Power: Do eventss always seem to be moving too fast for you to keep up? Well now you'll never have to worry about that again! Activate the new Time Crawl Power and suddenly the Dev team will announce a fantastic new expansion or hint at some incredible, long-awaited, addition to the game you love. Just watch as time slows to an agonizing crawl as you wait for tidbits and crumbs of information! Feel like a lame snail in the Arctic Circle as you struggle desperately to reach the release date! Whenever THAT is.

* Billy Goats Gruff Armor: This toggle power will render you resistant to trolling here on the forums. That's right, you can read those posts with abandon, never feeling that urge to call the poster an idiot or to scoff at their ill-conceived arguments. However, in an effort to maintain forum balance, this power has the new Whiplash functionality. So, while you can safely read any troll post, your personal fury bar will build up behind-the-scenes. Should the BGGA Toggle ever drop you will find yourself in complete Troll-Rage and will blast the first even slightly disagreeable post you read... THAT will teach those ba***rds to bad-mouth the five layer cake cave!!

* Emoticons are now Emot-I-Cans!: Fully animated smileys are now available for your posting pleasure! Watch your detractors writhe with jealousy as you hit them with the "roll-eyes-pat-on-the-head-condescending-smirk" smiley... Express your anger with the "shake-fist-flip-bird-spew-obscenities-while-stomping-enemy-avatar-flat" smiley. Yes, nearly every emotional outburst is available right at your fingertips! Please Note: Inflammatory posts are against the ToS; use of these Emoticons in such a manner is grounds for account cancellation.

* Forum Stealth Mode: We here and Paragon Studios understand that many of our dedicated players access the forums at their workplace and play the game when home. In an effort to accomodate those workplace commandos who look at the web page while deep within enemy territory, we proudly announce the Forum Stealth Mode. Purchase of the Booster Pack will add the option to run the Forum in Stealth Mode. Checking the appropriate box will render the web page to appear identicle to a standard office document. Use the radio buttons to choose Word, Excel, or E-Mail appearance. From a distance it will look like you're actually doing work! You'll only get caught if they are right behind you reading over your shoulder!

* The Thread Lock Temp Power: Ever wish you were a Moderator? Now you can be! This temp power allows you to lock any thread you find objectionable. The recharge time on this power is one week, so choose your targets carefully. Is there someone you absolutely can not stand? Perhaps they think they're funny when they're not. Maybe they continuously flood the forums with useless, meaningless joke posts. Maybe they constantly waste everyone's time with silliness or recycled City of Heroes jokes. Well, now you can put a stop to it! Now you can finally....


THIS POST HAS BEEN LOCKED BY TEMP MODERATOR 663.

I WANT this!