The Hidden Hand #374410 (level range 30-54), is my first attempt at a serious story arc. After getting feedback from a couple of friends, and a review by Police Woman, I've updated it quite a bit. But it still needs help.
This arc has two things about it that I think are unusual.
First is that I've tried to construct a story arc about Nemesis that has him acting as the unbelievably intelligent, competent and dangerous individual that our contacts keep claiming that he is. I say this because in the actual dev written arcs about him that I've played (which I think is all of them) he comes off as an incompetent, mustache-twirling, megalomaniac whose overly complex plans keep getting quashed by every random super hero that stumbles across them. In my arc he has a simple goal and has set up a plan that's as simple as possible, that also takes the existence of super powers into account. And in my arc he feels no ego-driven impulse to intentionally leave silly clues to let the heroes know who's actually behind it all.
The second unusual aspect of my arc is that I use the mission exit pop-ups to tell the story of what's really happening to the audience (the players). Unless your character concept is one of total omniscience there's no way that the character could possibly find out this information, but it shows the players what's actually happening. I think this is where the major problem lies.
I've received some criticism that this second storyline makes the players feel like they've been played for chumps. That's why I need help with this arc. I'm really looking for a better way to show Nemesis as he's supposed to be without making the players feel like they've caught the idiot ball (to use someone else's favorite phrase).
I'm not asking for full blown reviews, but I would most certainly appreciate any help and advice and criticism that anyone has to give on improving The Hidden Hand.
The Hidden Hand #374410 (level range 30-54), is my first attempt at a serious story arc. After getting feedback from a couple of friends, and a review by Police Woman, I've updated it quite a bit. But it still needs help.
This arc has two things about it that I think are unusual.
First is that I've tried to construct a story arc about Nemesis that has him acting as the unbelievably intelligent, competent and dangerous individual that our contacts keep claiming that he is. I say this because in the actual dev written arcs about him that I've played (which I think is all of them) he comes off as an incompetent, mustache-twirling, megalomaniac whose overly complex plans keep getting quashed by every random super hero that stumbles across them. In my arc he has a simple goal and has set up a plan that's as simple as possible, that also takes the existence of super powers into account. And in my arc he feels no ego-driven impulse to intentionally leave silly clues to let the heroes know who's actually behind it all.
The second unusual aspect of my arc is that I use the mission exit pop-ups to tell the story of what's really happening to the audience (the players). Unless your character concept is one of total omniscience there's no way that the character could possibly find out this information, but it shows the players what's actually happening. I think this is where the major problem lies.
I've received some criticism that this second storyline makes the players feel like they've been played for chumps. That's why I need help with this arc. I'm really looking for a better way to show Nemesis as he's supposed to be without making the players feel like they've caught the idiot ball (to use someone else's favorite phrase).
I'm not asking for full blown reviews, but I would most certainly appreciate any help and advice and criticism that anyone has to give on improving The Hidden Hand.