This belongs in the roleplaying forum.
"Ben is short for Frank."
-Baffling Beer-Man, The Tenacious 3: The Movie
[IMG]http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa10/BafflingBeerman/teamjackface1.jpg[/IMG]
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yeah i figured much comment on the story tho? :|
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Originally Posted by BafflingBeerMan
This belongs in the roleplaying forum.
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It's forcing something on a canon pairing, where we don't really have any right to tread.|
Originally Posted by Blpup
yeah i figured much comment on the story tho? :|
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It's like re-writing the past between Stefan and Marcus (Recluse and States).
The general tone is...well, adolescent. They don't sound like soldiers.
There's also some real need for capitilisation in 'i' and general grammar checking.
Sorry, but I'm a huge fiction and story fan, but, as with games, that means I'm brutal and honest when it comes to feedback and critiscism. Pretty much what I ask and expect of my own work, too.
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Originally Posted by Zwillinger
GG, I would tell you that "I am killing you with my mind", but I couldn't find an emoticon to properly express my sentiment.
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Originally Posted by Captain_Photon
NOTE: The Incarnate System is basically farming for IOs on a larger scale, and with more obtrusive lore.
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Sorry that my grammar and spelling is bad.|
Originally Posted by Techbot Alpha
It's forcing something on a canon pairing, where we don't really have any right to tread.
It's like re-writing the past between Stefan and Marcus (Recluse and States). The general tone is...well, adolescent. They don't sound like soldiers. There's also some real need for capitilisation in 'i' and general grammar checking. Sorry, but I'm a huge fiction and story fan, but, as with games, that means I'm brutal and honest when it comes to feedback and critiscism. Pretty much what I ask and expect of my own work, too. |
I blame the fact that i left america when i was 11 and now live in a non english speaking country.
And i thought i was a good story telling how GW got her powers cause it doesnt say how she got them just that she got them from death
This is a Exented story of how Ghost Widow and Wretch came to be friends and how they got there powers/abilitys.
I was born in ~~~~~. I really didnt know much about my parents since
they abandoned me at birth. So the Night Widows of Arachnos took me
in. There the widows there named me Belladonna Vetrano. Belladonna
was another name for deadly nightshade. The widows taught me how to
be somewhat normal. During my training i met this man named Paolo
Marino. He was a Wolf Spider novice. I still remember our frist
conversation.
"You Widow!" Said Paolo.
"Yes?" replied Belladonna.
"Widows suck and Wolf spiders rule!" Said Paolo.
"Sure..." replied Belladonna.
"Ok then rival! we will see who is better in the end! Who ever can get a nickname out of Lord Recluse wins!" Said Paolo.
"Its on." Belladonna replied.
Thats how i met Paolo. Years past of being rivals and good friends. Then one day Lord Recluse personaly asked me to investigate Nuclear Disturbances in Baumton. I assembled a team of 8. Paolo suggested he come too to play one of our favorite killing games. So Paolo,I and the rest of the team went to Baumton to check things out.
"Lord Recluses orders are to find the nuclear source and disarm it and bring it to the
nuclear lab for testing" Belladonna said strictly.
"Where are we headed bella?" Said Paolo.
"Crey Industries." replied Belladonna.
"Nice i get to gun down some crey!" Said Paolo in a cocky tone.
After hours of searching we found it...
"This looks like the place" said Belladonna.
"Well Lets go in and bash some heads!" Paolo said confidently
We explored the crey base and surprisingly there was no one there.
"Aww did everyone leave cause they heard i was coming?" Said Paolo
"No, I think your ugliness scared them away" Replied Belladonna
"....." replied Paolo
"You have fallen into my trap arachnos! now die with the rest of thisPathetic town!" Said a Crey Officer on the inercom.
SYSTEMS ALERT: SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED
"!!!!" replied Paolo,Belladonna, and the rest of the team
SYSTEMS ALERT T-MINUS 10.......9.........8
"We dont have enough time to escape!" Paolo screamed
"Even if we did escape the amount of nuclear and explosive devices here the blast radius is as big as Baumton....." replied Belladonna.
"We will use my Helicopter telleporter it may not get us out of the city but its better than ground zero!" Paolo replied.
......5......4......3
Then Paolo used the transporter. Even tho we were 600 feet away we still would be caught in the blast radius.
"See you on the other side Bella" Paolo said sadly
"heh...." Replied Belladonna
....2.......1
Then the bomb went off. It was the biggest explosion i have ever seen. I thought this would have been the end of my story......but i was wrong.
I felt a strange force surounding my body it was power and energy i never felt before.
"Ugh...where am i?" said belladonna.
"You are here and you are there" Said a mysterious voice.
"This is the ripple between life and death" said the mysterious voice.
"What am i doing here then?"Said Belladonna.
"Something beyond even my own powers is preventing you from dying" said the mysterious voice.
"Legilimens Desmatia!!!" Shouted Lord Recluse
Then i was at Lord recluses tower with several healers and Lord relcuse himself hovering over me.
"Welcome back.....Ghost Widow." Said Lord Recluse
As i was given the nickname i knew i was finally acknowledged by Lord Recluse. But something in my body didnt feel right i felt the crys of the fallen.
As i looked to my right i saw Paolo who didnt look the same as before and Lord Recluse also gave him a nickname Wretch.
Now i am in Lord Recluse's 4 Generals Commander of the Night Widow Legions
As for Wretch radiation hit him before the explosion did and was mutated and now he serves under me not just as a comrade but as a good friend.
~Writen by blpup~