Thoughts as I play it, beginning as I'm level 2 (Fire/Kin Corr):
Mission 1: Perfect length for a starter mission at this level. Spotted one typo/omission, very minor. In the Computer Security Logs clue, missing an 'a' or 'the' in front of 'remote server'. One thing that kind of bugged me about the beginning dialog was the contact was superior and made it a point to say that it was an order to forgive him his surliness or what-not, and you WILL do it... then the mission accept text is "Accept", which doesn't seem to flow well with the dialog.
Mission 2: The escort part of the mission was just a little tedious since there was nothing to kill on the way out. Maybe a patrol spawn or two to keep things interesting? The 'return successful' dialog seems a little stilted, but that could just be my perception.
Mission 3: Opening dialog 'implant a virus' seems a little wrong. Again, could just be my perception. Maybe just 'plant'? Ally rescue dialog needs a 'me' or something in there, "Glad you came along to get away from these bozos" doesn't quite work.
I'm being really picky, aren't I? I'm sorry. Before I go any further I want to tell you that I am enjoying your arc, it is a good story.
Still on Mission 3, the virus upload seems to take a little longer than necessary, but I completely understand the reason for this, since there's a nice little bit of Longbow around.
I hit level 4 right before the end of mission 3.
Mission 4, still nitpicky apparently : Every mission accept has just been "Accept". It's not jarring and it doesn't take me out of the story, I just wanted a little more 'flavor' to an already-tasty story.
It's thundering over here so I may lose power, posting this now so I don't lose it and have to start over. I *will* finish this arc later if I lose power - you've got me hooked thus far.
Mission 4: Wow that was short! Killed 2 lieuts and found the safe. I liked the atmosphere of the building, there weren't too many foes scattered about, it felt as though they were stretched thin trying to cover all the areas, and only really came after me once I sprung their trap.
Mission 5: Loving the NPC dialog as I'm zoning in and moving around, adds a lot of flavor to the mission objectives and story. I was expecting more of a fight from Fyre Rain, but she went down fairly quickly once I cleared her guards and the patrols around her.
All in all, a very enjoyable story that I'll enjoy playing again pretty much every time I make a new villain.
Rating: ****
Thank you very much for your review. I'll respond to your feedback one by one. 
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Thanks for pointing out the typo. It has now been fixed. |
Originally Posted by Psychoti
Thoughts as I play it, beginning as I'm level 2 (Fire/Kin Corr):
Mission 1: Perfect length for a starter mission at this level. Spotted one typo/omission, very minor. In the Computer Security Logs clue, missing an 'a' or 'the' in front of 'remote server'. One thing that kind of bugged me about the beginning dialog was the contact was superior and made it a point to say that it was an order to forgive him his surliness or what-not, and you WILL do it... then the mission accept text is "Accept", which doesn't seem to flow well with the dialog. |
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Psychoti
Mission 2: The escort part of the mission was just a little tedious since there was nothing to kill on the way out. Maybe a patrol spawn or two to keep things interesting? The 'return successful' dialog seems a little stilted, but that could just be my perception.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Psychoti
Mission 3: Opening dialog 'implant a virus' seems a little wrong. Again, could just be my perception. Maybe just 'plant'? Ally rescue dialog needs a 'me' or something in there, "Glad you came along to get away from these bozos" doesn't quite work.
Still on Mission 3, the virus upload seems to take a little longer than necessary, but I completely understand the reason for this, since there's a nice little bit of Longbow around. I hit level 4 right before the end of mission 3. |
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Psychoti
Mission 4: Wow that was short! Killed 2 lieuts and found the safe. I liked the atmosphere of the building, there weren't too many foes scattered about, it felt as though they were stretched thin trying to cover all the areas, and only really came after me once I sprung their trap.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Psychoti
Mission 5: Loving the NPC dialog as I'm zoning in and moving around, adds a lot of flavor to the mission objectives and story. I was expecting more of a fight from Fyre Rain, but she went down fairly quickly once I cleared her guards and the patrols around her.
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I appreciate your feedback and am glad you enjoyed the arc.
- Garielle
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Originally Posted by Frosty_Femme
I said "ur" which is not a word. It's a sound dumb people make when you ask them to spell out "you are".
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@GlaziusF
Alright, time to test out this thing's lowbie chops. Running it on a level teens ice/fire dom, diff 1 for authentic lowbie experience.
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Not even past the first briefing screen and I like this guy already. I hope the last mission involves handing him his metal butt in a sling.
Rather short little map, just a quick patrol to set the scene...
Uh oh. Mr. CO's not gonna like this, Yogi. I think we've just found our motivation.
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So the second mission is to fight even more Longbow! This certainly is a representative CoV arc.
I kid because I love.
Anyway, looks like it's time to go kidnapping. And my CO isn't going to impale my body on one of his legs to use as a puppet! Today's looking up.
So did you pick this "long straight line" base, or was it randomly generated?
Anyway, pretty silent and empty in here except for the single captive and the single ambush that tries to save her.
You're right, captive. I don't understand what's at stake here. Maybe if you actually TOLD me you might have something to persuade me with.
Yes, yes, I'm aware I have no idea of what I'd just done, would you like to drop some vague allusions instead of just flailing?
So tell me, when you wrote the Crab, were you keeping in mind that these are the guys Mako trains? Because it definitely fits.
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Hmm. Wait a second. I know that "destined one" is like the VIP badge equivalent, but NPCs call all of us "destined ones" kind of jokingly.
Recluse is breaking into the Zig and pulling people out because of a prophecy that somebody he breaks out of the Zig is going to help him rule the world. That's it. That's all he has to go on.
I wouldn't be surprised that someone out of the hordes Recluse keeps ferrying out to Mercy Island would do something else important. But wouldn't they be, say, working for Vanguard at the time?
Also isn't there a Rikti ambassador in Grandville who wants to keep the war going? I know Arachnos are raging against Vanguard all the time in the war zone. So where does my CO get the idea it'll be okay to end the war?
Also he isn't hardly trying to bite my head off when I bug him anymore. The stress must be getting to him.
Anyway, I'm fighting even more Longbow in even more Longbow Base.
One vocal spawn that's guarding my buddy, one computer to click... halfway through the base? Man, was there some patch screwup that made ALL the glowies Back when they should be Middle and Middle when they're set for Back?
I head for the back room anyway to see if anything's shaking but it's all quiet, again.
I like that my buddy's a kin, really helps with the end regen and suchlike. But two little things. First, you can use $Heshe to get the appropriate pronoun capitalized. Second, Longbow really need to hire a better negotiator. Then again they don't really have much to offer a guy they threw in jail but got busted out by somebody else.
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Ah, there's my CO's brutality. I guess it's just not for me since I didn't get captured. But... really? Azuria put guards on something so it has to be her journal about the ritual?
The woman runs MAGI. Presumably she has other things to worry about.
Ah well, mine is not to question why, mine is but to make 'em fry.
So there's this safe in the first room. I give it a click and wait around, thinking "nope, this can't be the one".
Boy, am I surprised! But it's not the good kind of surprise.
I'm kind of wondering, though, why Dycedarg (for the life of me I can't even figure out how to pronounce his mouthful of a name) and now Azuria are all so convinced that the Arbiters are going to wreck us. Arbiters are basically the refs of Arachnos. They break up interfaction or intra-Arachnos fighting by any means necessary. Unless Dycedarg has been stealing from other agents to finance this mad scheme...
And why's Azuria giving away her plot now? What is she, some kind of Republic serial villain?
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I'm not sure Dycedarg should just be trusting his sources here since he got burned just last mission.
Huh. Didn't figure this for an outdoor place.
Okay, you've got patrols saying duplicate things but they're all generally spaced out so I don't get hit with multiple copies at once. Pretty nice. One of 'em tips me off that my inside guy was taken by Wyvern, so of course when I head right to the back to find him practically in Fire's lap he's being gutpunched by... Legacy Chain?
Also he has the default system lieutenant description. (I checked because I had no idea what his power source was. If magic, at least the Legacy had a bone to pick.)
So apparently the Phalanx trust Fire, but not enough to give her the same medical transporter that the scrub heroes who can't stop a bank robbery have.
Actually, I'm not sure what happened to her after she collapsed. I didn't get a system message or a clue or anything.
I'm also not sure we actually got the right villain. I mean, Azuria yanked our chain once, and now Dycedarg doesn't suspect her anymore, so if she put a fake name in that letter (when she doesn't get anything out of dropping the real one) she can act with impunity.
Dycedarg doesn't even consider this, of course. He's just glad to keep his spider-legs outside the armor.
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Storyline - **. The idea's alright, but the progression of the missions rests on such a shaky foundation. My CO has to be eager enough to fall for Azuria's first feint and gullible enough to believe her a second time -- and of course I have to go along with him. He's under the impression that the Arbiters are going to get to killin' if this operation fails, which I'm sure would be news to anybody who's ever failed to pull off a simple bank job, and thinks he's got some kind of deniability, but who exactly arranged for my transport in the first place? Some scrub out of the Zig can't just go "hey you, Destined One here, get me to Paragon City chop-chop". And he seems to think it's completed successfully when there's no word about the fate of Fire, and Azuria could just as easily have put a fake name in that letter and fed some villain's ego to make for a perfect distraction.
Design - ***. The first and last missions are the only ones where there's anything not directly coupled to a required objective, and the third and fourth ones both end very prematurely due to weirdness in glowie placement.
Gameplay - ***. And in addition to that early ending, mission 2 ends with a long, empty slog back through a linear obstacle course.
Detail - ***. The story's weak mostly because of what it tries to lean on, and it comes out alright in the details. But getting nothing about the fate of Fire is a pretty major oversight, and it's generally very skimpy with the clues.
Overall - ***. The links between missions need some improvement, and the missions themselves could do with a spate of debugging and a little more life in 'em.
Up with the overworld! Up with exploration! | Want a review of your arc?
My arcs: Dream Paper (ID: 1874) | Bricked Electronics (ID: 2180) | The Bravuran Jobs (ID: 5073) | Backwards Day (ID: 329000) | Operation Fair Trade (ID: 391172)
Level Range: 1-15
Alignment: Villainous
Missions: 5
Length: Very Long (According to MA Terminal)
Groups: Longbow, Paragon Police
Story Summary:
A team of Longbow agents has infiltrated an Arachnos Base. Dukardugos, an Arachnos Crab Spider and leader of a group known as The Alpha Contingency, asks you to go in and reclaim the base. While cleaning out the Longbow trash, you realize they have used a computer terminal to send some sort of transmission. You wisely grab a copy of the security logs and return to Dukardugos.
This begins your journey to learn what the Longbow Agents were after, a journey which takes you into a 2 different Longbow bases, an office building in Atlas Park, and to the very streets of Paragon City, where you must face your final foe, a Corruptor who has switched teams and is now working on becoming the newest member of the Freedom Phalanx.
Author's Notes:
This is a brand new arc that I just released earlier this week. Unlike the hero arc, this one does include a single custom EB in the last mission. In order to keep the arc solo friendly, an ally is provided to aid you in defeating her.
This entire arc can actually be run somewhat quickly because the only mission requriing you to clear all opponents is the first one, which is set on a very small map. Experienced players should easily be able to clear this one in under an hour. Because a couple of the maps used are actually random, the time can vary from run to run due to the location of mission objectives shifting.
- Garielle