Tomb Raiding for Fun and Profit (Story)
By
Fanservice,
Posted on: 2009-01-20 17:19 in Multi-Media Fan Creations
Curses! I was planning to do something like this for Horizon. Now i'd just be feeling like a shill (Not that it'll stop me doing it though, she's been banging on about it!).
Still it was very good, nice to see the looting of ancient culture is still kept up. It's a time honored tradition you know.
Go for it. The main point of this one was to have Jason turn up as Indiana Jones with a girl pretending to be Lara Croft because she's seen too many movies. The actual tomb robbing was incidental. I could have done it at a fancy dress party. 
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
Oh no, it just means i'll have to think up of an even more insane and unlikely combination for what needs to occur (Or not, depending on the fickleness of players)
I'd love to see someone trying to steal canapes from a party in an overly blown tomb raiding thriller manner incidently.
"You go up the aisles, watch out for conversational traps and death hugs, i'll swing under those tables and try disarm the spiked punch so the drunks will clear out getting us a clear shot at the pastry rolls. Have the motorcycles ready."
Of course when they fail to exchange the snacks for a Tofu alternative without activating the trap the giant disco ball releases and they must run to safety. Oh and go back for the hat if needed.
Tomb Raiding for Fun and Profit
The slim figure paused as a current of air stirred her hair. Looking to her left, she spotted a dozen holes in the stone wall. A trap. Poison darts, perhaps, though the venom was likely long gone. She looked down, spotting the row of trigger tiles on the floor. Was it too obvious? Shrugging, she stepped over the tiles.
There was a soft creaking sound. She dropped like a stone as a huge blade slashed through the space her upper body had been occupying. The man standing behind her sighed as one point of the Poesque axe blade embedded itself in his shoulder. "Laury," he said as the blade swung back, "would you mind being a little more careful."
Laury shuffled sideways and stood as the axe swung slowly to a halt. "I don't know what you're complaining about, Jason," she said, "not like you aren't already healed."
"It still hurts. And tell me again why I have to wear the hat and jacket? And the whip? And you know I don't use guns." The outfit made him look like some pulp-era adventurer, and Jason had spent a happy few years around the war years trying to regain full sanity.
"Have you never seen an Indiana Jones movie?" Laury brushed herself off.
"I don't really do movies. I get enough excitement in my normal life." It was not entirely true, the opinion having been formed when the moving picture had been invented. Besides which, if Laury had not dragged him to Iraq, he would have been marking essays on Dark Age magical history. Looking down at the puncture marks in his leather jacket, he could not help but wonder whether that would have been a better option.
"Remind me to buy you the DVDs when we get back." Laury shone her torch down the corridor, looking for additional axe slots or dart holes.
"Okay, I'm dressed as a film character, though I have no clue why, but at least this is vaguely practical. What's with the T-shirt and shorts?" It wasn't just T-shirt and shorts, of course, there were also walking boots and a pair of automatic pistols strapped to her thighs. Her hair, which was long, and brown, was tied into a pony-tail.
"Not into video games either?" She began to advance down the corridor, Jason following at a respectful, and hopefully safe, distance. "I'm dressed as Lara Croft. She's an English aristocrat who raids tombs to find ancient artefacts and defeat the bad guys."
"Of course, the English aristocracy are noted for it." It did make sense, ever since Jason had known Laury, she had been enamoured of the 'fantasy' side of things. She seemed to live her life in films, video games, even some books. If they were going to go digging for ancient artifacts, then she was going to make sure they looked the part.
"Don't be sarcastic, Jason. It doesn't suit you." She stopped at the end of the corridor, peering at the floor.
"Where do you think the British Museum got half its content from. Found something?" He looked down and followed the light as it crossed the stone, showing row after row of pictograms. "Hold the light still, would you?"
"You can read the cute little pictures?" she giggled prettily.
"If you'll recall, you asked me to come with you on this delightful dungeon delve because I was here when they built it." Jason replied, taking his hat off and crouching down to look more closely. "Not that this is Sumerian. One of the Demonic character sets."
"What does it say," Laury asked, swinging the light about again.
Jason took it off her and scanned it slowly over the text. "Is this Lara as much of an airhead as you? It says," he told her without waiting for a reply, "that anyone going further will spend eternity having their soul eaten by Gothmordek the Soul Ravager."
"All those pictures just for that?"
"Well, it gives Gothy his full title. He always was a bit of a show off. Likes puppies." She looked at him. "Really, he has a huge kennel in a corner of Hell. Specialises in punishing people who mistreat dogs. They probably saw all the titles and thought he was mean."
"You," she said, "take all the horror out of dark, ancient crypts."
"I am sorry to have damaged your concept of fantasy reality," he replied wryly. "Shall we proceed?" He flicked the light left and right, and took the left branch.
"How do you know which way? You can't be remembering it." She waited with her hands on her hips, chest thrust forward defiantly.
Flicking the light at the wall, Jason revealed a small panel of markings. "'This way to the tomb,'" he read.
"And you believe it?" she asked incredulously.
"At this point, if you were dumb enough to continue, they were happy for you to run to your fate." He shone the light down the corridor to an elaborate stone archway at the end. "Additionally, they would not waste that on a fake."
The walked slowly down the tunnel, Jason stopping them a few feet from the arch. Close up, Laury could see a dull, red glow coming from the stone. No, rippling over the stone like a fluid. She wondered what it looked like to Jason. "What is it?" she asked quietly, as if it might hear her.
"It's a demon gate," he replied. "And no, not a gate demons come through, it's a gate made out of a demon."
"You're kidding," she said. Almost involuntarily she edged closer, peering at the stone arch. The red fluid-light shimmered and seemed to shift toward her and she lurched back. "It's alive?"
"Demons have no fixed form, really," he said, nodding. "They have a shape they prefer, but when summoned they often conform to the expectations of the summoner. A skilled demonologist can make use of that in creative ways. In this case, if you don't know the correct pass-phrase, the demon rips your soul out."
"Right... And you know the phrase?"
"No but there's more than one way to skin a demon." He reached into his satchel and took out a notebook. Flipping pages, he found what he was looking for and recited a series of sounds, which Laury thought sounded like a mammoth clearing its throat. The light flickered and died. "There, that should hold it for a few hours." He marched on into the chamber beyond and Laury followed quickly.
This was it, the final room in their quest. Jason scanned the torch over the place, finding a lot of naked stone and one stone throne upon which was sat a tall skeleton still showing a few traces of the armour it had worn when it was placed there. Resting across the arms of the throne, with a skeletal hand still gripping the hilt, was a sword. It was in perfect condition, the blade unmarked by rust, even the leather grip was intact.
"Why don't these skeletons dislocate when the flesh rots?" Laury asked, quite reasonably.
"In this case, because the sword is holding it together. You remember the legend?" He looked at her like the college professor he currently was.
"Yeah," she replied. "The sword makes you invulnerable. Didn't work for him."
"Most die if you cut their head off," Jason replied. "It took an entire army to bring him down. And, in the end, it took me and a big axe. After which I created that gate to keep this thing locked up and the locals built the tomb around it."
"You the sword in here?" Laury stared at him. He had neglected to mention that when they had been discussing the legends in the Barrington Club. Jason nodded. "Then why are you helping me get it out?"
"Because you'll use it the way it was intended," he replied. "It was forged to fight evil. Unfortunately, they neglected to screen their candidates for ownership carefully enough." He prodded a finger in the direction of the skeleton. "This guy couldn't handle the power. I'm pretty sure you can, and I hope I'm right."
"Well, yeah, you don't want another one of these running about," she said, her eyes on the skeleton and the sword in its hand.
"Oh, it's not that. I simply don't want to be the one entombing your headless corpse down here. Go on, it has to be you who takes it." He reached out and pushed her forward.
Gingerly, Laury uncurled the stiff, bony fingers and slid the sword free. Her own fingers curled around the soft leather. She lifted the word, momentarily surprised by the weight of it. She raised it until it was point upwards and a flicker of blue flame lit at the very tip. "What's..." she began, but the flame suddenly brightened, shooting down the blade and engulfing her. There was a brief moment of pain, and then the magical fire was gone.
The skeleton on its throne collapsed, spraying bones at their feet.
"It accepted you," Jason said. "The sword, and its power are yours. Unto death, as it were."
The sord felt as light as a feather now. Laury swung it experimentally. She clipped the arm of the throne, raising sparks and shearing off a corner. "Oops! Sorry," she giggled. "So, like, I'm invulnerable now?"
Jason chuckled and started for the gate. "It'll take a while for you to learn to wield the power effectively and," he paused, turning to look back at her, "do you even know how to use a sword? I know can't shoot straight." He nodded down at the twin pistols.
"Well, I, um, did a bit of fencing..."
"Oh great," he said, starting the trek back to daylight, "I've handed one of the most powerful magic weapons of its age over to a novice..." Their voices continued to echo through the silent halls for a while, and then the tomb returned once more to its state of pitch black quiet.
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.