A Different Kind of Paragon Story

Just a bit of fun, hope you enjoy.

A New Kind of Hero

I really don't know what happened. I often go around Paragon and see the heroes of the city doing their bit for peace and good. I dreamed many times of being like one of them and to have powers to heal or control or maybe I might grow claws or something.

I got rejected from the army. I hoped to become an expert in the assault rifle and devices but it appeared I wasn't A1 , and found out that I had bad cholesterol and high blood pressure so I walked out the medical centre with my bottom lip dragging on the ground feeling inconsolable and worthless.

This is when my life got even worse. I was standing at the roadside a few weeks later, near to Miss Liberty. I had a chronic crush on her, and had been gazing at her for about half an hour as new heroes popped next to her. She did something weird to them that appeared to grant new powers or enhance existing ones. Giving up on my hero worship, I was going to cross the road to head home. Suddenly some outcast shot at a passing truck, with a sawn-off shotgun, hitting and bursting a tyre which in turn caused it to tip it's load of marked canisters.

The seals came off them as they fell into the road, and the worse bit, the canisters openings were typically pointing in my direction.

I tried to dive for cover but there was none and the next minute I'm swimming in a sea of yellow liquid. Was it urine ? maybe sewage ? I hoped not. Best news of the day was that it didn't appear to be any human waste. I had held my breath but risked a sniff on what had drenched me to the skin and it seemed to smell like chip fat. I looked at the diagram on one of the nearest canisters and blast ... Radioactive Material ! Also a small label saying to wear protective garments when handling the material. Did radioctive material truly smell of chip fat ?

The cleanup operation started then. Heroes cleared the way in minutes and I was sent to a medical centre for study, but nothing seemed to show up on the tests. Nothing was in the paper of who the material belonged to either, or what it was. Could have been a cover up I suppose, or maybe a joke and the contents were actually chip fat after all.

How wrong was I ...

A few weeks later the changes started to happen. My body mass and skin texture changed, my skin got darker and rough textured. and weird rumbling sounds seemed to come from my middle. I was constantly hungry for baked beans, cheese and chile or curry sauce. One morning I just chomped on a block of full fat butter in a matter of seconds. Weirder and weirder. That's how things started and it's got to where I am now.

People tend not to think of me as a hero, they usually wet themselves laughing as I stomp down the street to be honest, but maybe one day it'll be different.

But you will know me, oh yes you will. My deeds will be glorious.

I,Baked Potato Man, will triumph.

Squirting villains with mashed potato and many burning selections of toppings. They will beg for mercy or drown in a sea of melted butter. Death by curry sauce is not pleasant I assure you ...

This is my vow.

I thought it was serious at the beginning. But you fool me Great story

Thanks for leaving a comment and glad you enjoyed it.

I tend to do a lot of thinking and imagining, sometimes with some weird images. For some reason I had this vision of a Mr Potato Head running around the streets of CoH and the idea sprouted (pardon the pun) into mind. He certainly wouldn't be sued by Marvel for copyright although Hasbro might have something to say.

I always intended it to be funny, though it started of seeming serious, I just didn't see it till it was finished but as it was done in an idle half hour I was quite pleased.

Thanks again for the comment, who knows what's going to go through my head next and require me to purge it from my brain ... hmmm brains *starts pondering*