Been meaning to comment on these...
First, I LOVE how you've taken screenshots and made them look handy drawn... Very creative use of the filters in Photoshop that is, and very well done, looked very 'comicy'.
Now, on to the story. I though it got off to a very good start and progressed fairly well. The only REALY problem I have with it is that you start to incorporate game mechanics and leetspeak in story. Mentioning things that accuracy debuffs, whilst maybe germain to the story, should really not be referred to in the terminology of the game mechanics. Also, I cringed at the first "LOL". Please don't do that, it's the fastest way to destroy a story and I felt like not reading the rest of it at that point... The mentioning of people coming online, supergroups, teams, timed missions, things like that, is all done as OOC material and either shouldn't be in the story at all, or needs reworking to make sense in the story.
Finally, the narrative. I found a lot of it fairly hard to actually see as it wasn't contained in a box, like realy comics are. You might want to try that as it DOES help.
Overall though, apart from the things above, I enjoyed the comic, and like I said, the way you've presented the screen shots is REALY effective. Look forward to seeing more!
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
thank you VERY much. ur feedback means alot to me, i enjoy making these and I will definately rework the dialogue, with your thoughts in consideration.
once again, i'm glad you like it. any particular page your favourite? (i always ask.. no real reason)
PS: do you mind if i quote a part of your feedback onto the back cover?
Well... I'm not sure about a favourite page as such, but I did prefer the first chapter over the others, even with it's slight story faults.
And of course I don't mind if you quote any of my feedback. Glad you found it usefull! 
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
[ QUOTE ]
Also, I cringed at the first "LOL". Please don't do that, it's the fastest way to destroy a story
[/ QUOTE ]
Come to think of it, you're absolutely right..
I better get to it. The sooner I cover this up, the better.
EDIT: You know something? I think I just figured out the main problem.. the story starts IC but tends to slip OOC at certain points. The comic is months old and I must've been blind to this; thanks for the *insight* [PUNCHLINE] Ba-dum pa!
You didn't tell me Tuesday was your birthday!!! /e slap
Happy (belated) Birthday babe. 
Yeah, I also noticed the OOC references, but me being me can never be bothered to do too much feedback.
With the staging and screen-shooting done and dusted, I have mapped out approximately twenty pages for April's issue. (Took me long enough!)
However, note that *every* page is now undergoing a complete rework in storyline and dialogue.
So far, I have Page 1 and Page 2 .
PS: The improvements are a result of Floating's feedback. (Thanks again man, I like the new pages sooo much better, and I'd like to know if you do too.)
[RANDOM] Arrrrrrr! *dances a happy dance*
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You didn't tell me Tuesday was your birthday!!! /e slap
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Terribly sorry! I remember trying to tell you, but then you said a few things that erm.. distracted me
By the way, on tuesday, the forums put a little cake next to my name; It was awesome!
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PS: The improvements are a result of Floating's feedback. (Thanks again man, I like the new pages sooo much better, and I'd like to know if you do too.)
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Looking much better so far! I'm not too sure about the regular emphasis on certain words by emboldening them, but that's more a style thing than anything, otherwise, the narrative panels are MUCH easier to read now.
Oh, one thought occurs. You describe your hero as being tied to Overbrook as if he can never leave, yet later in the story he does. Might be worth just adding a bit so the reader knows he can leave for short periods?
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
[ QUOTE ]
Oh, one thought occurs. You describe your hero as being tied to Overbrook as if he can never leave, yet later in the story he does. Might be worth just adding a bit so the reader knows he can leave for short periods?
[/ QUOTE ]
yeah. I meant for freeza to say so when the girls arrive, but i prolly should establish this sooner.
I was gonna say some stuff, but out resident corpulent, red haired, flying baron said exactly what I was gonna say!
So I'll just say, they look nice, frames are set out well and those are some well taken screenies you used
IN MEMORIUM OF GAYBABY
CRUELY TAKEN FROM THIS WORLD WHILE SO YOUNG
Page 3 : Back Cover : Front Cover
Q: Would you rather I carried on posting these on here or the original website?
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...they look nice, frames are set out well and those are some well taken screenies you used
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ARIGATO GOSAIMAS!!! I've quoted you onto my back cover, is that okay?
[Edit]
wow, 5 stars and over two hundred viewings! *dances a happy dance*
Good work on the comic so far.
I do have 3 comments to make regarding the font and speech bubbles:
-First, I would strongly suggest to alter/change the font of the regular speech bubbles. Using a font that gives your comic more identity. It really looks like you either used MS paint or that you didn't put any effort into it.
I have a couple of comic font variants, pm me if you want any..
-Still regarding the speech bubbles, I would again suggest making the outline a tad thicker. It's way too pixelated and contrasts way too much with the smooth filters applied to your panels.
-Chapter 5 has the best displayed attack names. Keep that up.
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ARIGATO GOSAIMAS!!!
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ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!
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Good work on the comic so far.. Chapter 5 has the best displayed attack names. Keep that up
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Thank you!
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It really looks like you either used MS paint or that you didn't put any effort into it.
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Yes, I've used MS Paint. I found it so much easier to type into Microsoft Word's Word Arts, then paste into MS Paint for any manipulations, and then into Photoshop. Although I have noticed the rather odd contrasts the bubbles now hold.. I will either return to shrinking then slightly or filtering them as well.. or use whatever fonts you can provide me, I will definately have a play around.
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ARIGATO GOSAIMAS
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ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!
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Ah.. thought so.
EDIT: Can I quote your comment on the back cover?
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Yes, I've used MS Paint. I found it so much easier to type into Microsoft Word's Word Arts, then paste into MS Paint for any manipulations, and then into Photoshop. Although I have noticed the rather odd contrasts the bubbles now hold.. I will either return to shrinking then slightly or filtering them as well.. or use whatever fonts you can provide me, I will definately have a play around.
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Gah! no! =P
If you have PS, might as well type text bubbles with that! The editing is by far supperior when integrated in an image. New layer, rotation, expansion, transparency... Of course you do as you please, and I'm not one to /tell/ you what to do.
Have sent you that mail.
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EDIT: Can I quote your comment on the back cover?
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Quote away!
DOITASHI MASITE
:P (altho my spelling is a bit off I think)
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New layer, rotation, expansion, transparency..
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sorry.. what?
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DOITASHI MASITE
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eve, what does that mean?
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New layer, rotation, expansion, transparency..
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sorry.. what?
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-Use the text tool/click on anywhere.
-Type text.
-Use the move arrow and options to make text rotate, skew, etc..
-In the options at the top, change font, font size, font highth and width..
-Under layers, use drop down menu to change layer's master opacity
-Mess around with edit/stroke and voila!
all this assuming you're using PS 7+
Any more questions and I'll start posting screenshots
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DOITASHI MASITE
eve, what does that mean?
[/ QUOTE ]
do itashi masite : 1- You're welcome, 2- not at all, 3- don't mention it.
Thread title changed at the request of Pious.
#1 - The Betrayal
NOTE: I'm going to finish this issue for April's release... but i've decided to post it a little early. I may even have it completed by tomorrow - Tuesday, my birthday
hope you like it, and feel free to check out the rest of the site.