Nicely written, except for a few points where you repeat certain words unecessarily, such as "the sound of the claws sounded." Also there were one or two grammatical errors, but nothing that, for me, took away from an interesting story.
In terms of storytelling advice, I'd have tried to shorten the piece. The first killing I would have had already in the past, as backstory, with Veskit thinking about it, or using the name of the dead scientist as a threat to Campbell, along the lines of "If you don't want to help me, you can give Dr. Smith my regards..." etc.
On that note, a name for the first victim would have worked very well, and removed the need to use the term "the man" over and over.
The image of Veskit having a pile of bodies was, to be honest, actually quite comical. I'm curious as to how Veskit has carried out several murders, among military science staff no less, and not been caught, or at least pursued. Describing him stealthily breaking into the last lab, dodging patrols of soldiers, ducking away from helicopter searchlights, would have added some nice tension to the piece.
Also, if Veskit has displayed suicidal tendancies in tests, has he not been sent to counselling or kept under watch? I'm just wondering how the people in charge of the experiement managed to let the situation go from "suicidally depressed man" to "remorseless killer," especially since his need for revenge is so great that he kills Campbell even after he's been given what he wants.
I am interested to see what you plan on doing with the character next. He has murdered several scientists and destroyed a building. If any security cameras caught him, an all-points-bulletin will be issued, and other heroes will try to arrest him. If any character a GG finds out, your character's days are pretty much numbered.
A good story, and an excellent first attempt. I enjoyed it and could see some of the dark humour in it.
And to clarify a point,Wordmaker, the scientists weren't killed, but unconsciouss. 
Thanks for the advice, it'll really help for the next time I write something for this character.
As for getting past the guards etc, this is the base where Veskit has to return for routine upgrades, so his presence there wouldn't have been out of the ordinary. And killing them, he would have loved to after 2 years trapped in a living hell, but he did make a promise not to do so, and there's the whole hero code of arresting people and everything, can't go letting standards slip just because the people you hunt ruined your life.
Okay, fair enough, I mis-read.
Still though, assaulting eleven scientists, all of whom are alive to testify against him, is going to mean Veskit will be hunted by these people.
Also wondering how he was able to walk around freely while carrying said unconscious scientists. 
Is this a government/military group, or a privately owned corporation?
Remember, you have to work hard to impress Wordy.
Wow, tough crowd, but Word has some good points, I really should have clarified certain details, probably should have written up a full back story and posted that as well, might have helped a bit.
The research team is a private company, Campbell Robotics' (named after the founder and creator of the Veskit combat suit) which makes various technological goods from artificial limbs to weapon grade tech such as the suit in question, some of the latter being developed for the military, or more sinister customers.
As for walking in and out of the base with limb and most importantly silent bodies on his shoulder, well a simple method is employed, (checked it out with a former army bud, it's a fairly sound method which is nice) he started from the outside, removing the guards one by one. Once the sentries are out of the way it just leaves the puny lab coat wearer's that have caused so much grief. (looks like playing Metal Gear Solid and Ghost Recon finally paid off)
Hope this satifies at least some of the points, if not, please let me know, it all goes towards improving my writing ability so you won't have to yell at me as much next time, lol (but seriously, thanks for the advice I'm very grateful)
Okay, fair enough. It's good that you've got all of those details worked out, but you can't assume the reader knows these things. You do need to remember that the reader doesn't know everything you do.
With those factors in mind, the story works well. Looking forward to seeing the consequences of Veskit's actions.
[ QUOTE ]
he started from the outside, removing the guards one by one.
[/ QUOTE ]
Luckily, all military types are inherently stupid in comic books and never post guards in pairs, or make sure that sentry walkways are overlooked by guard towers, or any other basic precaution to make this kind of thing fail miserably after the first couple of guards are taken out.
Looks like a nice piece of writing. Keep at it.
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
Got to admit wordy, you obviously have earned your name, and I'm not being sarcastic
I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who read this piece, and give a special thanks to Wordy, for all his fantastic advice, hopefully my next piece will be of a higher standard because of it.
I'm truely grateful
No problem, Veskit, and thanks for saying it. It's nice to know my advice is appreciated (and a relief to know people don't hate me for it 
)
As for earning my name? I studied English at University, it kind of stuck
No, we do hate you, we just hide it well.
Disclaimer: The above may be humerous, or at least may be an attempt at humour. Try reading it that way.
Posts are OOC unless noted to be IC, or in an IC thread.
It's true! I'm already sharpening my katana ready for Bristol!
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Mine is sharpened but I won't be going so I must rely on FFM's fighting skills.
Damn it, I havent got a current pasport to go that far south 
Ok, first up, this isn't a back story as such, I never found time to write one up between GG time and generally hitting things.
Secondly, this is my first ever work of pure fiction based upon my character, so any advice and criticism for future pieces will be extremly helpful.
Thank you for reading the fruits of a late night's labor
Veskit's Release
"Put me down, this isn't helping you know."
With a shrug Veskit let the man drop to the floor and waited for him to stand and dust himself off before he continued his questioning.
"Ok now you're down, start explaining. What do you mean you can't turn it off, you turned the damn thing on?"
The man was one of the research team responsible for the creation of the Veskit Mk1 nanotech combat suit, the thing that had held the man now known only as Veskit prisoner for the past two years. And the man was shaking, "The nanotech has kept you alive since you started to use the system, it is now part of your body, it's connected to every part of you, if we turn it off and it shuts down it will kill you, as it's the only thing keeping your heart beating, your lungs working and just about any other organ you name to mention, turning it off will be the same as turning all those parts of you off as well."
The lenses that served for Veskit's eye's began to glow a deep red, "And your point is? You think I want to live like this? I've been in this thing too long now, the contract I signed was for a 6 month test period, that was 2 years ago, I've had enough, either end the test or end me." suddenly the fighting claws burst from the back of the suit's hands, "Or you can take the third option."
"Um, wha, what's the th, third option?" the researcher's eye's darted from the helm to the claws and realised that was a bit of a redundant question
"Well the third option," if only the poor man could see the grin on Veskit's face, he'd have probably soiled himself, he was shaking so much he was almost a blur now, "the third option is I end you, then go find someone that will pick one of the first two options, so which is it going to be Mr.." glancing at the mans security tag pinned to the front of his coat "Richmond, one, two or my personal choice, three?"
"Y y y you wouldn't, you can't kill me, what hope would you have of getting out of the suit if you killed me?"
"There's always more of your team, maybe I should just go with public opinion and decide who to ask next." A chuckle came from the helm, and it wasn't one that sounded infectious, this was out right fatal "Nice talkin' to you, with any luck I'll be meeting you in the next life real soon."
With that Veskit grabbed the man again and pulled back his arm, poised to drive the claws straight through the man head, but as he swung his arm forward, the claws vanished and he landed a heavy, yet non-fatal, blow to the side of the man's head. "That was the tenth one so far, this wasn't going quite as planned, are these people stupid?" he muttered as he dragged the limp body out of the door to the hill behind the base, tossing it onto the pile with the others, oh well, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. And with that merry little thought Veskit went back into the base to find someone else to talk to.
It didn't take long, a simple trip to the lab where he received his upgrading soon had him helm to face with the man who had designed the suit, Professor Sialas Campbell, a technological visionary, robotics wizard, and if he didn't answer the questions correctly, a limp form in a body bag.
"Ahh Veskit we meet again, it's still a week until your next upgrade session, what brings you all the way out here?"
"You know why I'm here, I want out of this thing, and who better to get me out than the person that put me in it? And before you start I already know that if you turn it off there's a damn good chance you'll be turning me off at the same time, but to be honest I'm past caring, so make with the button pressing and get it over with, or do I have to explain option 3 to you to?"
"I don't think I'll be needing the explanation, but maybe i can interest you in some hot off the press information?", the slight smile on his face spoke volumes
"Go ahead and talk, it'll give me time to think of some really nasty things to do to you if i don't like what I hear, running out of options for originality after playing with your little assistants, so you go ahead and let me know what you know, in your own time professor." and with that he pushed him down onto a chair and then stood with arms folded waiting for what was most likely to be a whole load of bull, but he had time, he had plenty of time.
"The others were right, if we turn it off you WILL die, end of story, however, after your last visit when you asked for us to kill you or get you out, again, we tried it during your upgrade session, and as you can tell, you're not dead. The nanotech won't allow us to shut it down, the AI that I programmed into the system was too advanced, it's now actively running self defence systems for both the user, which is the suit, and for itself, and because of that we can't deactivate it, it basically wants to stay alive, in it's own perverse way." the sound of the claws emerging sounded deafening in the quiet of the lab, the professor started to speak as fast as he could while still remaining coherent "We can't turn it of, but we can get it to partially disengage, we were going to try it on your next session here, but why not try it now, what have you got to lose?" The sound of the claws retreating was drowned out by the professor's sigh of relief as he sagged further into the chair
"what do you mean, partially disengage? Start talking specifics here, What will that do?", And after a moments thought he added "And i want the exact details this time"
"Well, if I'm right, based upon previously collected data, and my own computer simulations, I should be able to upgrade the implant as usual, and this time you'll be able to control the suit's activation and deactivation with a thought, just like the claws, in all the testing Ive done it works, but there will be a period of time after the change during which you'll be unable to reverse the process, and thats the only problem, it could be an hour, it could be several hours, or it could be seconds. It all depends on how the nanotech has interfaced with your body, which is an unknown factor since we can't get data like that without a blood sample or tissue sample, and we can't get those due to the suit's current state of activation. So I leave the choice to you, you'll still have access to the full combat system without the suit, but will suffer more regular injuries and that will slow down the healing systems of the nanotech. But in order to attain peak combat potential you'll need the shell active, you still won't need to eat, drink or sleep as is the case now, but you'll be able to, and the internal systems will metabolise this new chemical input and clear your system with a mere thought."
"Whats the catch? This is sounding too good to be true?" He'd been fooled before, and 2 years inside a tin can gives you plenty of reason to be paranoid
"There is no catch, consider it compensation for the troubles that you've faced during your time testing the system, you'll be keeping the system of course, there's no way for us to remove it, so you get to carry on fighting the good fight as you put it, but we would be grateful if the difficulties we had with the system initially didn't come to light any more than they already have. Do we have a deal?"
"I'll be needing a place to live, some where to call home, I assume that was part of the deal?"
"Indeed, just locate a suitable place for your self and then contact us with the details."
"Ok lets give it a shot, like you said, what have i got to lose."
An hour later Veskit walked out of the main door's of the base, the professor slung over one shoulder, and in his free hand was a small box, about the size of a cigarette, as he passed through the doors he pressed a button on the side of the box, and the silence of the night was shattered by the sound of an explosion, then another, and another, the sounds continued at regular intervals while Veskit walked to the mound of bodies on the hill, dropping the unconscious professor onto the pile he turned to survey his greatest work so far in life.
Flames had begun to billow out of the door, and a cloud of smoke rose high into the night sky, yet more explosions rocked the base as the fires spread to the flammable supplies held in the storage rooms. It's amazing what you can find in Paragon City, nice people, amazing scenery, and warehouses full of Outcasts and their weaponry supplies. Those remote mines wouldn't have gone to good use in their hands, but Veskit had given them a truly noble purpose, this base was where they created the hell he'd had to suffer for 2 years, he didn't know his real name, where he was born, what his mother looked like or even what he looked like anymore, but he did know where he belonged, Paragon City, the place he's come to call home, and now he could begin to really enjoy the place, sample the food, have a drink with friends, and sleep in a real bed, but first he'd need to go shopping, his first set of clothes for 2 years, this was going to take some getting used to. And with an outburst of laughter that was full of unrestrained joy, he leapt into the air and set off to make a new life for himself in the city.