"Bridger had recently been spotted in a series of commercial for Anusol, the haemorrhoid cream, where he espoused the necessity of anal well-being for effective crime fighting."
I almost choked to death laughing at that.
I'm glad. I was quite chuffed when I came up with that gag 
(\_/)
(O.O) Bunny: Our time is coming
(> <)
Life can be hard for a hero, especially if you have to make money. Even the one in Hero Corps can't make too much, because I tried hiring one and I couldn't find a place to contact them. Even the Hero Corps representatives couldn't tell me where they were (but they were more than willing to pass comments on my reputation around).
Loving these installments, didn't notice them until the 4th issue and then missed 5 and 6 until I saw this one today. Great reading for a quiet night shift.
[ QUOTE ]
I'm glad. I was quite chuffed when I came up with that gag
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I do hope you checked with him first!!! It's never good to made a boards mod disinclinded towards you!!! 
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I didn't actually, but in my defence it'd Bridger the toon, not the moderator 
Lets hope he sees the funny side. Assuming he reads it of course.
(\_/)
(O.O) Bunny: Our time is coming
(> <)
I guess he will do a search on his name several times a day, but I also think he can take a joke.
Oh I'm sure he'll see the funny side... Being a roleplayer, I just never use other people without permission... It's godmodding! 
It was a damned funny joke though! 
@FloatingFatMan
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Anal well-being concerns -everyone-! He's doing good work.
A day early but since last Monday's was a day late I thought it only fair.
Part 7
<Fiery Wench>: Ur making this up
<Ickle Hero>: Honest, Its true
<Fiery Wench>: How do u know? Sounds like some1 pulling ur leg
<Ickle Hero>: Cassandra told me and shes pretty reliable
<Fiery Wench>: Still cant believe any1 can be so dum
<Vernita>: Whose dumb?
<Fiery Wench>: Some guy called Amazing N00b
<Vernita>: What he do?
<Ickle Hero>: His mum got knocked up by some guy calling himself The Inseminator
<Badar5e>: Zomg!!!!! U kidding!
N00b tossed the herocom away in disgust. It had been nearly a week since it had gotten out and the broadcast channel was still full of it. Ironically it had given him what hed been after; celebrity status. Everyone in Paragon knew his name now. Everyone sniggered when they met him for the first time or made snide comments. It was a nightmare.
He gave the Atlas statue a wide berth now. He didnt dare show his face there. The last time hed found himself surrounded by heroes all clamouring over one another to make a fool of him. It was like being back at school again and all the old wounds of that dreadful part of his life were being torn open.
With his hero career appearing to be in ruins and the awful truth of his father revealed N00b had, in desperation, turned his attention to his other duty; earning money to send home to mother. Hed considered getting a normal job, but he had no skills of any value and was facing minimum wage. This was out of the question. It would take too much time out of his week from earning influence. He needed to make more significant amounts and do it quickly.
Of course there were avenues for heroes to make money. Statesman was the front man for Cocoa Cola, whilst War Witch had signed on with Pepsi. It was even rumoured that Lord Recluse had just signed a multi-million dollar deal with Microsoft and was going to be the face of Windows Vista.
It wasnt just the upper echelons that gained lucrative sponsorships deals, some of the more minor heroes had opted to turn their image into dollars. Bridger had recently been spotted in a series of commercial for Anusol, the haemorrhoid cream, where he espoused the necessity of anal well-being for effective crime fighting.
N00bs first delve into the potentially lucrative world of sponsorship had been somewhat less dramatic four hours of walking up and down the streets of Kings Row wearing a sandwich board informing everyone of the meaty delights that could be found at Ted the Butchers. It had nevertheless earned him a healthy $50. Once a week and mother would be, maybe not satisfied but, appeased. Hed wired the money to her immediately.
But it was further humiliation he could well do without. Several heroes had stopped to laugh at him and then, upon realising who he was, laughed even harder.
A knock on his door interrupted his self-pity. He knew who it was. It couldnt be anyone else and he considered ignoring it, but eventually he called out for his visitor to come in.
Tuffy entered wearing the same sympathetic expression he now habitually wore around N00b. N00b didnt know what was worse the ridicule or the pity.
A group of us are going to the Hollows to take on Frostfire. I hear hes a tough customer and we could use all the help we can get, said Tuffy. I thought youd like to come. Itll help take your mind of things.
Ill pass.
Come on. Bust some chops, crack some skulls and help make the city a safer place. It doesnt get any better than that, Tuffy pressed. Then he leaned in conspiratorially and said in slightly lower volume. If youre worried about anyone saying anything, dont. These are all good people who are very sympathetic to your, um, situation.
I dont want their sympathy.
Of course you dont, but you dont want to be ridiculed either, Tuffy countered.
N00b grunted noncommittally.
And helping to bring down Frostfire will do wonders for your reputation. Hes a formidable foe. Not to be trifled with. Without you we could all be looking at a trip to the hospital and in the Hollows thats awfully inconvenient as of course the nearest medical facility is in Atlas so once you get out of the hospital you have to cross half of Atlas and then you have to run however far across the Hollows to get to Frostfires base again and you can just imagine how long all that
Enough!! roared N00b suddenly with a ferocity that visibly shook the smaller man.
Tuffy fell silent although N00b knew it was only a temporary reprieve.
If I go will you promise not to talk. No, scratch that, said N00b realising he was asking the impossible. Will you promise to talk less?
Cross my heart.
Good enough, lets go then.
By the time they arrived at the Hollows the rest of the eight-man team was already waiting outside Frostfires hideout and the two men were facing a tough trek across the Hollows alone.
Ill ask for a teleport, said Tuffy. Although I dont know if anyones got that power.
I can make it, said N00b before lumbering off. Hed be damned before he accepted anyones help.
His path was heavily populated with gangs of trolls and outcasts and he gave them as wide a berth as possible. A few glanced in his direction but none made any aggressive moves. It seemed they were willing to leave him alone if he did likewise and that suited N00b just fine and soon his caution gave way to confidence.
The shotgun blast took the legs out from out both him and that burgeoning confidence. Quickly he rose to his feet to see a large group of trolls descending on him. Bullets filled the air along with bolts of ice and fire and N00b realised immediately he wasnt getting out of this one without a trip to the hospital.
But hed be damned if he was going to make it easy for them. Summoning all his strength he leaped up and over their heads and landed in the middle of the group. At least, that was his intention, an instant before he came back down to earth the world around him shimmered, faded and then back at full strength.
N00b landed in a fighting pose but of the trolls there was no sign. The road was gone, replaced by a car park, but that didnt register immediately. He whipped around just in case the trolls had somehow managed to all get behind him. But they were gone and in their place were Tuffy and six heroes and it was only then N00b realised hed been teleported.
Right, were all here, said the tallest of the group. And I suggest we get inside before his friends turn up. He gestured out across the car park at the group of trolls N00b had left behind. They were heading directly towards them.
They must want an autograph, said another hero and sniggered.
N00b noticed Tuffy give the second hero a hard stare who, astonishingly, seemed to wilt under the glare.
..sry, said the hero quietly and quickly retreated into the building.
Glad to have you here, said Tuffy. On a mission like this we really need someone who can soak up most of the damage.
Yeah, sure, grunted N00b and then after a brief pause ran over what Tuffy had said. Sorry, can you run that past me again?
(\_/)
(O.O) Bunny: Our time is coming
(> <)