PLAY MINE - I'LL PLAY YOURS - Catalyst TF

Noght · 07-11-2009 05:32 AM

I tried, I really did....this is not very good.....sorry to report.

I'd ask you to try mine, but I'm afraid you'd retaliate with a poor rating...heck you'll probably find it an do it anyway.

I only got through 2 missions then quit:

Mish 1: Tedious as previously mentioned. I get Catalyst Defenders as Sword/Shield and the Amazon powersets but Archers as Archery/Dark Maisma? Sparrows as Mace/Lightning? Too Many..and the payoff is saving a Snowman?

Mish 2:
Typos in intro (no biggie actually), but it appears to be bugged. The Catalyst mobs and Longbow mobs are stacked on top of each other, not fighting each other...so we get Longbow on top of Catalyst debuffs...sigh.
The Longbow EB is bugged...He is spawning as lvl 40, my Mastermind is 32...guess what happens next.

Sorry, I wanted to try it but it's not working for me (or as intended I'd guess)

Noght 50 Scrapper Broadsword/Invulnerability
Fire Umbra 50 Brute Dark Melee/Fire Aura
Impulse Cry 50 Blaster Sonic/Energy
Internist 50 Mastermind Poison/Thugs
Ice Omega 50 Corrupter Ice/Radiation
Prickly Heat 50 Dominator Plant/Fire
Champion Server

Dalghryn · 07-11-2009 07:58 AM

American_Angel, I've run into the same problem with edits not sticking. I think the problem is twofold, and both have been mentioned. 1) Make very sure you're editing your published arc and not your local server version. They are two separate beings, and don't interchange. You can't even publish the local version over the published version. If you try, you'll publish a second version of the arc. 2) As previously mentioned, use the "Republish and Edit" button and not the "Republish" button. They both seem to do the same thing, anyway, but the second is unreliable.

And, just in case the previous, well-intentioned, poster has you flustered, I'll just give you fair warning that some opinions will surprise you, some will bother you, and some people just take great pride in being cruel. Keep the constructive and positive ones in mind, and don't let the negative ones get to you. If you can get something from their comments that helps, great. If not, don't sweat it. And, again, this is no reflection on Noght's post -- I just thought now would be a good time to give you some support.

OK, if you'll run Consequences of War (227331), I'd be honored. In the mean time, yours is on my "to do" list.

The SOLUS Foundation - a Liberty and Pinnacle SG

"The Consequences of War" - Arcs # 227331 and 241496

Noght · 07-11-2009 09:02 AM

I wasn't trying to be mean...in fact we chatted online this morning. I REALLY wanted to complete the arc.

Difficult missions don't bother me but Bugged Missions do. I don't think the missions are intentionally bugged but he needs to know if he wants to have a reasonable arc.

Easiest fix would be to use Bosses rather than pre-made EB's that auto set your level...only rare arcs have EB's popping out everywhere...with MA, regular bosses are rare and EB's more common..go figure.

I want enjoyable playable arcs...not the kind that are kind of like "lets pawn the player to show how uber my arc is" which Catalyst's minions are almost bordering on...almost.

Noght 50 Scrapper Broadsword/Invulnerability
Fire Umbra 50 Brute Dark Melee/Fire Aura
Impulse Cry 50 Blaster Sonic/Energy
Internist 50 Mastermind Poison/Thugs
Ice Omega 50 Corrupter Ice/Radiation
Prickly Heat 50 Dominator Plant/Fire
Champion Server

Dalghryn · 07-11-2009 09:10 AM

OK, I'm busy taking care of a five month old baby who gets first priority over everything, so I'm just going to take your arc a mission at a time. Here goes:

First, I'm running it with a level 50 Energy-squared blaster on Heroic. This mission wasn't quite a cake walk, since it did require me to use my powers strategically, but it wasn't terribly hard.

General thoughts -- Though it's another "save the world from the invincible ancient evil" story, I like what you're doing with it. Very few ideas are actually "new," it's just how they're presented that makes some different. I like your custom group very much. It's obvious you've put thought and effort into the characters. Your '60's hero clones are particularly interesting and well-done. DC Comics fan by chance?

This definitely has the potential to be one of the better arcs.

My first critique would be in your use of ellipses. I happen to be a fan of them, and make use of them in my arc, however, you're *way* overusing them. They should only be used to indicate a pause or interruption in speech, and overuse of them tends to be an amateur mistake. I'm not at all calling you an "amateur," but I am saying it is perceived that way. I'd suggest single periods at the ends of phrases, and substituting commas or hyphens whenever you can. I started listing specifics as I was running the mission, but finally just decided to make this blanket suggestion.

Now, for specifics.

In the arc description, you say it's recommended for levels 40 - 50. Now that you've set the levels to 40 - 54, is that necessary?

I'd add a contact description in the arc info section so you're not just reading the default hologram description when you click on "About this Character."

In the mission send off dialogue the previously noted "activateMisery" is still there.

In the mission entry pop-up, if I'm not mistaken, the proper word would be "whomever," not "whoever," but that's kind of a nit.

If there's any way of explaining the mission goals in the dialogue or mission begin clue, that would help. I figured out what the compass text was telling me to do through trial and error, but some clarification would be nice. I know it's harder to do with the angle you've taken, but it's something to consider.

A couple of spelling/punctuation problems in Abomination's description -- There should be a comma after "strange," You have two periods after "ends," and "step" is spelled "stap."

In his dialogue (which is also overburdened with ellipses ) "unworthy" is spelled "unwirthy."

While I like all the character descriptions very much, I'm curious about how we'd know any of the background info. Maybe you can have the player character doing some research or something that's described somewhere (again, the new Mission Begin Clue is perfect for that kind of stuff, or some other clue.) Yeah, I know the same question pops up on character bios and stuff, but that can be assumed to be taken from Paragon City records or something. Anyway, just a thought.

In the Mission End dialogue, "plans" should have an apostrophe. You might have Catalyst say something along the lines of, "Despite the interference of this era's superpowered beings, my troops recaptured the Abomination and brought him to me." in order to better clarfy that, even though you succeeded, you failed. I also hope that this is the only mission that is a guaranteed failure despite your efforts. If it isn't, players will catch on quick and will be less likely to feel terribly heroic. Trust me, that's *huge* with people that have critiqued my arcs.

Anyway, that's mission #1. I hope to hit #2 after I grab a bite.

The SOLUS Foundation - a Liberty and Pinnacle SG

"The Consequences of War" - Arcs # 227331 and 241496

Dalghryn · 07-11-2009 09:14 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I wasn't trying to be mean...

[/ QUOTE ]
I apparently failed in my attempt to make sure you knew I wasn't really referring to you. Since your post included some negative critique -- which is not at all a bad thing, since it helps us all make our arcs better -- I just saw it as an opportunity to warn him/her that nasty ones could be part of the package.

Yours was not at all nasty, but some people get their jollies by being that way. I was just trying to give him/her a heads up.

The SOLUS Foundation - a Liberty and Pinnacle SG

"The Consequences of War" - Arcs # 227331 and 241496

Dalghryn · 07-11-2009 11:39 AM

Mission #2:

Couple of mistakes in the first dialogue -- "...With the downing (dawning) of hte (the) new day..."

Remember the ellipses problem.

Your accept mission text is too long. It scrolls off the screen.

The use of multiple question marks (Longbow dialogue) is similar to the misuse of ellipses. One will work fine.

Honestly, I have a hard time believing that a quick, "Wait! I'm here to help protect Agent B! Hold your fire!" wouldn't pretty much put a stop to the entire Longbow animosity thing. Maybe you could come up with a better explanation as to why they want to blow your brains out besides your just being there.

The same is true for Agent B just leaving. Her description makes her out to be something special. If she is just going to leave, instead of help, I'd suggest coming up with a better reason.

And, speaking of descriptions. Director Prime, as bad a$$ as he is, doesn't have his own personal description, just the default Longbow Batista one.

The compass text for Director Prime just says, "Director Prime." It's not hard to figure out he wants to make you into paste and you need to make him take a nap, but you might want to explain that better in the compass text.

Oh, and I managed to beat him, after two trips to the hospital and about a half dozen lucks. I'm not sure I'd complain about his power or not, personally, but I can see how he'd be very hard to beat in many solo cases. I understand you're pushing this as a team-style task force, but just remember you'll lose a lot of potential players -- and probably generate additional negative reviews -- if you keep him this tough.

Your mission return text has a sentence fragment -- "In generations past" -- and the ellipses-equipped statement above it is confusing.

In general, my character is beginning to feel somewhat useless. Two missions in a row he's basically failed. Not only has he not stopped Catalyst from getting the DNA he needs, he can't even convince Longbow he's a good guy. As several folks pointed out to me when I first published my arc in a *much* different format -- it doesn't make you feel very heroic. I fixed the complaints about my arc. It'll be your decision whether you stick to your guns or not on yours.

On to mission #3 later.

The SOLUS Foundation - a Liberty and Pinnacle SG

"The Consequences of War" - Arcs # 227331 and 241496

American_Angel · 07-18-2009 07:28 AM

I will be going through it this weekend to do more editting. To be honest I'm a little burned out on all the edits, lol. I took me a month to make as it was, now the edits are taking another month.

I'll do them though.

I also added a special treat for Persons on Freedom Server that play it through...as is mentioned in the MA Souvenir as of today. (would have done it on all servers...but sadly, I don't have the resources elsewhere.