232910: Dimensional Rift Detected! @Killo
Where can I improve on it? What can I add? What needs to be modified?
Mission 1 is a Defeat All - ominous.
Okay, the contact seems a little tricky to get along with. He's Top Secret, but that's his name, so he's perhaps a joke character. Then he almost calls me a victim, to assist in a crisis.
Joking, in a crisis. He even says "Heh". At this point, I'm hoping it's not a Heroic arc.
So I don't exactly Accept, I ask a question. Which results in my accepting the task, not exactly fair.
Mission 1 entry pop-up: Decay - is that a name? -> Put it in quotes, or -> name: Decay.
So it's a zombie mission (Flesh Fatale). Nope, a demon mission (The Beast).
Demon Thrasher: quick work with -> quick work of
Wicked Howler: through the bones of anyone nearby -> through their bones
Top Secret Kid is described as an authority figure in the "Superdudes", but his dress, name and adrenaline fixation don't really add up to being an 'authority' - perhaps just call him a leader. He's an EB too, hopefully opponents are worthy of that. For now I leave EB to kill stuff, no xp in this mish for me.
Invasion Leader correctly deduces it was me and TSK that encountered him. But some people leave sidekicks behind, so it might have just been the player.
I cleared all, and then the reason why Defeat All sucks - I missed something. Somewhere. I have all the objectives, I've defeated the big-bad, but I'm left searching around for one thing I missed somewhere.On my third pass over the entire map I find the Flesh Fatale that was in a corner.
Reasonable tickets for a story mission.
7:36pm: Return to contact.
Okay, so TSK lets me know what's really going on. I must say, I don't like contacts who keep me in the dark. TSK also knows more about Decay. It would be nice if I wasn't sent in blind to battle zones by my supposed friend.
Second mission. I'm a little confused, so TSK is from another world. Yet there's another rift in Portal Corp, which is in my world. Perhaps it could be a little clearer that TSK has come to help protect my world from the things that terrorize him at home.
Second mission sounds identical to the first.
7:40pm: Enter second mission.
I rescue yet another EB ally from Possessed Scientist. Reasonable use of another faction's critters here, science and magic again intersecting in a scientist's mind.
Zoe takes out an opponent in a single kick. Then I find TSK. I abandon both as they make the mission meaningless for me. And then there's a third ally! I find a A-Max, but the nav says "Find DJ Max!". I promptly lose him.
And then Sonica, ANOTHER EB. And the Invasion Leader too, a LT at Heroic difficulty. Sonica wipes him out before I get very close.
So now another mission done, and I'm left to find the last ally. He's back where I abandoned the first two allies, overlooked as he's dark in the dark and I had to run fast to lose the allies.
Weaken those allies a LOT to make the battle more fun for me.
8:00pm: Return to contact.
M2 return msg: others fights -> others, fights
Ahh, at last, a mission by myself. But otherwise, it sounds identical - defend a lab map from the same custom group from the first mission.
8:02pm: Enter mission 3.
But it's outdoors this time. All I have to do this time is find and close the rift - so I will ignore all the creatures that were Defeat All in the first mission. Perhaps just have the first mission not be Defeat All, if these critters are allowed to live. Or perhaps TSK knows they don't live long outdoors, so he's not worried - or something.
Note that the werewolf description says they live their lives completely in shadow - but it's daylight here. Not a big issue.
Woo, despite the vast, multi-level map, I find the glowie fairly quickly. Zero tickets, but I can get back to the story.
8:08pm Return to contact.
It says those poor people in the area [that I just came from] suffered a horrible fate. They were turned into werewolves by Decay? Or not? Perhaps could be better explained.
M3 intro: one way -> one-way; specfic -> specific
The mission 4 accept phrase doesn't imply commitment - "Uh, I dunno"?
So it's mission 4, after 3 missions of just cleaning up, and now I'm going to begin the process of solving the problem. Perhaps one of missions 2 and 3 are redundant. Arcs don't have to be 5 missions long.
Strange. I have to protect a chest, that registers as a bad-guy - but I can't hit it. Seems it was just a bug, by clearing around the chest I complete the mission. For a monster Oranbega map, you chose a good way to do a hunt, since the object spoke to me as I passed it. It's still a huge map for one objective.
8:22pm: Return to contact
And off to the inevitable big-bad confrontation.
I collect all my allies, but they never get involved in combat. I cannot beat the AV alone. I realise this arc has never been tested right through. I give up.
So far this looks like a collection of author's heroes, a collection of custom creatures, and a loose story to sort of tie them together. No plot development until mission 4, and mission 5 is broken. I included suggestions along the way above. This definitely needs a more complex plot if it is going to be more than 2-3 missions.
//airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
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Well I did finish it myself.
And I did have a feeling that it needed more work in plot development. I completely rebuilt it.
And I will tone down the EBs a bit. However, the big baddie, I will see what I can do. Of course when the server gets back up.
The personality aspect of TSK is actually correct. I should however, explain the structure of the Superdudes hierarchy in story. Sonica, Zoe Dexter, Factor, A-Max (or DJ Max. Long story there), and Top Secret Kid are all part of a counsel called the Power Prime. Yeah... I should add this.
And will probably make that one mission with all of the allies much more difficult.
PLEASE NOTE: It has been Unpublished for more tweaking.