Very nice. I felt really drawn in. Could use some more detail (expanding on the gut feelings to heighten the suspense, for instance) and a little more flow, but overall I very much enjoyed my read. 
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
Short, sweet and simple, "A Natural Hero" is a compelling portrait of a young hero coming of age in the City of Heroes.
Sure it could have been stretched a few more chapters, allowing us to meet Leese's parents or the Mighty Millionaire, but that is the beauty of super hero fiction. There is always next month's issue to anticipate.
This story is perfect. Bravo!
I see by your handle that it's probably a story inspired by one of your in-game heroes. I'd like to recommend that you think about Derek as the "hero" here and consider where else this might take you. This is a great way to explore a side of the game that we take for granted and seldom think about, yet one which is really quite important from the in-game lore standpoint.
IMO, the length was right, the story was right. As I said, Leese may be the superhero, but Derek is the protagonist; the "hero" of the story. We don't really need to know more than that about Leese, at least not from this narrator and setting.
I'd be really interested to hear more about Derek's stories and/or those of the other origin-related organizations.
Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate it. I agree that the gut feelings could be done a bit better. I'll see if I can improve them, thanks.
Yes, this is inspired by my first level 50, but the idea originally came to me back when players were invited to write short pieces for the KoA backgrounder. Also, thanks to her costume and use of the Weapons pool, Leese has been mistaken for a KoA by her teammates in the middle of missions before. But I think I agree with you SlickRiptide in that Derek's part may be more interesting. I really enjoy writing more minor characters and fleshing them out. (once wrote an anime fanfic about a character who has barely 20 seconds screen time!) I don't have any plans for Derek in the future, but I've got a germ of an idea for an Azuria story.
Or I could continue with Leese. I've got her backstory pretty well planned out, and a few adventures and mishaps that I think'll be unique to her.
Anyway, thanks for the comments.
You should definitely write more about Leese (It seems I'm always left hanging with all these fanfic stories! Definitely need the origin story[this could quite possibly be Leese's origin story, it just has that feel about it!])
Go with what you've got planned already!
Wow, this was really, really good! You had me reading to the very end, and I was mesmerized from beginning to end. I look forward to whatever more you have to write!
My name is Derek Amberson, and I'm just an ordinary guy who meets a lot of extraordinary people. Maybe not as extraordinary as some of my colleagues... scientific geniuses, ancient sorcerers, robots and other freaks of nature rarely even notice my office is there, but the skills of those I encounter are no less remarkable.
I work for ELITE - Enhanced Logistics for Insight and Tactical Excellence. Yes, it's a dumb name that stinks of being an obvious backronym but at least we're doing better than SERAPH - in my opinion their mythology-based acronym has never seemed to be appropriate for a scientific group. You can reach me day or night, practically living out of my office in Galaxy City. My job is simple, on paper... I'm a liaison between ELITE and any heroes who have been classified as having a "natural" origin. When they step off the train and squint up at the war walls for the first time, I have to give them purpose, show them the ropes and familiarize them with the city. When they bring in that first big collar, ELITE can help them deal with the fame. When they take that first big injury, ELITE has a part in helping fund their recovery. When they are sued or arrested, we can supply aid if appropriate. When they die, I have to fill in a form.
Most heroes will never need us. Most heroes outgrow us. But we're there if we're needed, not just up until you pass security level 5 and I send you on to bigger things.
It's a good life, aside from filling in those terrible forms. ELITE is not the biggest of the five organizations that support heroes. We're under-represented in all of the common types of hero classifications except "scrappers." Most of the time, those who can throw ice or turn to stone or control others minds didn't get those powers "naturally." The natural human body simply can't muster the resilience to survive a train crashing into them, and doesn't have any way to electrocute enemies or suck the light from a room without depending on items that land them in MAGI or DATA.
I can look out my office door any day of the week and see a rookie fire blaster almost burning down Gregor Richardson's office, or some battle-suited bozo stomping though Caitlin Murray's place, the vibrations from his footsteps shaking objects off of tables. I, on the other hand, typically get individuals who - while often possessed of a certain lack of caution in battle - arrive fully in control of their abilities thanks to the rigorous training they've undergone to get this far. These men and women have worked hard, training their bodies and minds until they are the peaks of physical perfection, the true elite, and as an athlete myself I can respect that.
I suppose that's part of why I've always had trouble with one girl.
Her name is Leese. She was originally discovered by another hero whose name I forget. A seemingly ordinary schoolgirl, fighting off wave after wave of Clockwork by herself. She had stumbled on a site where they were constructing one of their monstrous clockwork Paladins, and came out of the melee without a single scratch or burn before the other hero airlifted her out of there and called for backup.
Several days later, realizing she was special, she turned up on Freedom Corps' doorstep and asked us why.
"A Natural Hero"
A story of the City of Heroes
by SJS
City of Heroes and it's NPCs are the property of Cryptic Studios and NCSoft. Leese was created by me.
At first glance there was very little that was remarkable about Leese. Fourteen years old, with short blonde hair, she seemed scrawny and very small for her age. It was only with testing that she gave up her secrets.
She knew nearly every kind of martial art. We tested. I called in dozens of heroes to spar and meditate with her. After seeing the first few moves of a kata, she could join in and then finish the kata by herself. After being handed a weapon, she could assume the correct stance and slash out at the air with perfect poise. She moved like water, incredibly difficult to land a blow on, and she subconsciously channeled and focused her chi to increase her strength and speed. At one point, I took my epee down from the wall and tried to test her myself. Even with an Olympic gold medal on my side, she embarrassed me despite never having fenced before.
She was unnaturally gifted. She was obvious hero material. And she didn't fit in anywhere.
GIFT analyzed her blood, and found no evidence of any kind of mutation. "Nothing to do with us."
DATA took x-rays, saw that it was obvious she had no cybernetic parts. "Nothing to do with us."
SERAPH didn't even consider her. It was obvious that she was "Nothing to do with us."
MAGI said they could find no magical basis for her abilities. They tested for reincarnation, enchantment, divine gifts and a multitude of other influences. All tests turned up negative. "Nothing to do with us."
Which left ELITE, the only organization that could accept her, despite her skills being almost the definition of unnatural. After much argument I added her to the roster with a smile on my face and sent her to rescue a journalist from the Council, but the truth was I was not happy to have her, for two reasons.
Firstly, I couldn't respect her. Unlike most of ELITE, she had not earned her skills though training and sacrifice. She lacked the maturity and experience to use them properly. She was rash, impulsive and - I felt - a liability.
Secondly, she was fourteen years old. Underage heroes are trouble. At the best they mean extra paperwork. At the worst... nobody likes to think about that. A little known fact about ELITE is that we have the highest fatality rate. We are, after all, only human.
Yet I knew it was impossible to stop her if she wanted to be a hero. Those who come to this life seem like they're born to do it, but what they're really born to do is use their skills. If denied the chance to use them for good, they will use them for evil. So in the face of doubts about her competency and worries about her safety I coddled her, and steered her away from the truly threatening enemies of Paragon City.
She found her way to them anyway, and cut a swathe though them.
Now, a year later, she sits in my office. It looks like she just came from a mission. She's wearing her costume - black and blue armored pads, black bandanna, black face mask, short black skirt. Stealthy and easy to move in. She's worn that regularly ever since she first met Agent 6 in a tunnel under Founders Falls and gained a new role model.
It's our regular weekly interview. Since she's underage, she's required to check in with me every week. We go over her actions over the past week - the contacts and teammates she's been working with, the villains she's fought. I make suggestions to pull her away from more dangerous enemies, try to steer her toward more reliable teammates, limit the contacts she should be working with. That would be easy, has been easy in the past, but...
"I'm security level 44, Derek," she says, and I can hear the familiar frustration in her voice. "Ms MacIntyre came to me and asked me for my help! Anyone else would get to help her, why can't I?"
Because I don't want to explain to your parents why your body has been lost in an alternate dimension and can never be recovered...
"I just don't feel it's the most important thing you could be doing right now," I say, trying to be supportive. "There are lots of dangers in the city that need a hero like you. Isn't your friend Jacintha having problems with the Tsoo? You could help her."
Leese snorts. "The Tsoo? I know Jacintha can handle them by herself..."
"The Tsoo are a major threat to this city, Leese," I retort. "Where the Family is falling behind, they're stepping in. Somebody needs to stand up to them. Every victory against them is a big deal."
"And that Anti-Matter weirdo isn't a big deal?" she said, raising her voice.
"Other heroes can deal with Anti-Matter..."
"Or, other heroes could deal with the Tsoo, and I could deal with Anti-Matter..."
She's being argumentative. The issue isn't Anti-Matter. The issue is the same one that concerned me when we first met. She has not earned her abilities. That was a concern for me when she joined ELITE, and now it annoys her too. In the past year she's been pushing herself in battle, but she's just not become any stronger. She's not learned anything she didn't already know. She has the satisfaction of doing good, the thanks of the citizens she saves, but no reward of self-improvement, of growth as a hero. After just one year, she's stagnated at a time of her life where she should be blossoming.
So she keeps pushing, looking for the enemy who can show her something new. Just a few months ago she was eagerly thwarting the Tsoo, looking for just one who could show her a technique she didn't already know of. Eventually she just gave up on them, finally figured she outmatched them. Maybe she thinks she'll find someone among these "Praetorians."
"Fine..." I say eventually. "you can work with Tina MacIntyre. But you are absolutely not to try to do it solo!" I saw a victorious smile creep onto her face, and felt the need to squash it. "Speaking of which... I had a talk with Mighty Millionaire yesterday."
Her face fell, and she guiltily averted her eyes, steeling herself for the lecture.
"You did a mission with him on Monday, didn't you?" I looked at my notes. "Rescuing a guy called Dan Irish?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Only... you didn't wait for Mighty Millionaire, did you?" She looked at the carpet. "He says you arrived first, and by the time he got there you'd scared off the Knives of Artemis by yourself, all that was left behind was a few swords and sets of infrared goggles."
It didn't seem right that she looked ashamed for saving a guy's life, but the rules were the rules. She was NOT supposed to work solo EVER. It was just too dangerous.
"When I got there, he was right in front of me," she eventually said defiantly. "Some of the Knives were about to kill him. All I did was use some initiative."
"It's good that you saved him... it's GREAT that you did," I said. "But you have to be careful about your own safety! A world where Dan Irish lives and Leese Stewart dies is not necessarily better off!"
"I thought I was supposed to be a hero!" she yelled back at me, rising to her feet. "I'm not a baby, I'm not a little kid! I'm security level 44, which is 43 higher than you've ever got, and I've got there by saving people and stopping the bad guys! Stop treating me like I don't know what I'm doing!"
You don't know what you're doing... you don't know how you do anything you do.
"OK, OK..." I said, trying to calm her down. "I wasn't saying you were a kid. But you do know the rules under which you are allowed to be a hero in this city. Having a partner - any partner - to watch your back is one of them."
"I know," she said, sitting back down in a huff.
"Good... just remember it in the future." It kills me to be a hardass. That's not really who I am, but its who I need to be with Leese. "How did the mission go, by the way?"
She looks up at me, a little disarmed.
"Your mission, on Monday?" I lean back, playing with the cap of my pen. "If I remember correctly, you've never fought the Knives of Artemis before, right?" I knew she hadn't - I'd been trying to keep her away from them.
There's a strange, nervous look on her face, but she responds. "Yeah. I'd never seen them before. I didn't get to see them much when we were fighting too."
"They're famous for their stealth tech, right?"
"Yep. Makes them really hard to see. I had to go by just sound some of them time."
"So I heard. I also heard a lot of heroes complaining about their caltrops."
"The spikes they put on the ground?" Leese said dismissively. "They're not so bad. I can run though them. You just need to be careful about not standing on them." She said it as if it were the easiest thing in the world, as if noticing dozens of tiny spikes and placing your feet perfectly to avoid them was taught in kindergarten.
"So," I said, taking notes. "You saw some Knives attacking Mr Irish."
"Yeah, I did. It was at the campsite on the Black Sands Nature Preserve."
"I've been there," I said. "Nice place. Wouldn't expect to be attacked there."
"It was pretty nice, yeah. Anyway, I just ran over to them and started kicking. I'd knocked one down by the time they knew I was there. The other two threw down some caltrops, drew their swords and tried to go invisible, but I managed to keep track of where they were and knocked them out. Then I led Mr Irish to safety."
"OK... but, when Mighty Millionaire arrived, you were still on the reserve..."
"I went back once he was safe, to see if I could find any more. But there weren't any." Her face here was inscrutable. She was looking away from me, obviously very nervous. I could just tell... she wasn't telling the whole truth.
"That's all that happened?" I asked.
"Y-yes, she said.
"Are you sure?" I asked. It was obvious she was hiding something, but I couldn't tell what.
"Yes, I'm sure. I didn't see anyone at all until Mighty Millionaire arrived." she said woodenly.
"Leese..." I said gently. "You don't sound very sure. If you won't tell me the whole truth, then I can't..."
"I'm telling you the truth," she said, raising her voice again. "I didn't meet anyone at all!"
"Right," I said weakly. It seemed like she was lying to me, for the first time in a long time. It was far more transparent than she thought. But she was determined to do so... and I couldn't imagine why.
"It's after 6," Leese suddenly said. "I need to get home or my mom will freak."
"Oh, of course," I said, still lost in thought. She wanted to go, and I couldn't legally stop her. I could continue this at our next meeting... with a little time to prepare, I could have a line of questioning that would encourage her to tell me her secret.
"I'll see you next week," she said, still a little angry.
"Yes," I replied. "Tell your parents I said hi."
She nodded, and started walking toward the door. As she did, my eyes were suddenly drawn to her belt. There was something new - a small pouch, hanging from it.
"Leese?" I said, and she paused at the doorway. "What's in that bag?"
"Oh, this?" She looked down at it. "I picked these up yesterday. Thought it would be good to have a little backup.
She reached into the pouch and drew out a caltrop.
"I can dodge them easily, but other people have more trouble. I thought they'd come in useful, since you won't let me use any larger weapons."
"I suppose they might," I said, my mind turning over. She slid the caltrop back into the pouch and opened the door.
"I'll see you next week, Derek," she said, and left.
I watched her leave and slumped down at my desk, my brain going into overdrive. I immediately regretted allowing her to leave - I suddenly had some important questions to ask her now, some dire suspicions to work out. Dark suspicions about a girl alone with an all-female mercenary group known for its brutal killings and brainwashing. But even if I could bring her back, I suspected she would only deny any theories I put forward, I could only anger her with any accusations I made.
And suddenly, I felt very wary about angering Leese.
"She hasn't..." I mumbled. "She wouldn't..."
I needed more information, and quickly. I grabbed my phone, opened up my address book and found a mobile number I'd never expected to call. It only rang twice.
"Who are you, and how did you get this number?" a brusque female voice asked. I introduced myself, and explained myself, and at the end she had only one thing to say.
"I see... leave it to me."
Then she hung up.
I didn't see Leese for another week, as usual, but I couldn't stop worrying. I called the woman several times over those days, but she wouldn't tell me anything, only that she was taking care of the situation.
When Leese arrived at my office to report in that Friday afternoon, I couldn't help but notice that she seemed unsteady on her feet. For most people that means falling over... for Leese it means merely balancing like a normal person. Consequently I wasn't as worried as I should have been.
"Hello Leese," I said cautiously as she arrived. She mumbled a hello to me and sat down, almost falling onto her chair. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," she said, but she seemed distracted, far from her usual firey self. "I'm just fine..."
"Good," I said. "I hear you've been working with Ms MacIntyre this week," I prompted, beginning to take notes on her activities.
"Yes..." she said, seeming to brighten up. "I did some work to find out how Crey were trying to develop their own portals, and I stopped Anti-Matter from making a portal that led here. I went to the dimension the Hydra originally came from... that was messy but I helped Dr Sheridan study them. And then Crey started attacking a Portal Corp lab, and I stopped them there..." Her tone was rising as she spoke, drawing back to her usual confidence. "And today..." she started to say, but her voice cracked and she stopped.
"Today?" I asked. Her eyes were darting around the room. I think she wanted to cut and run, but she didn't.
"Today... I started working with a new contact today. She sent me to... to..." I saw her shoulders shake, and she looked at the carpet. "To a law firm..."
Her shoulders shook again, and she slumped forward. I caught the slightest glimpse of tears in her eyes.
"Leese?"
She shook again and hunched over, covering her mouth with her hand, and I heard a sob. She rested her face in her hands, and let out a wail as she collapsed into tears.
"they killed everyone... they killed everyone... even the cleaners..."
[She returned to the nature reserve, and looked around. There was no sign of any more of those Knives of Artemis around... but as she stood there, she heard the sound of clapping all around her, and a dozen women appeared out of thin air. They did not attack her.]
{She walked into the law firm of Beecham & Becksley, and looked around. There was nobody around... nobody behind the reception desk.}
[Completely outnumbered, she showed a little restraint, and listened to their leader as she talked.]
{Completely alone, she crept though the corridors of the office, listening for any signs of life.}
["You are a superb fighter of remarkable skill, but we both know you are wasted here. We can show you a new path, one that will bring out your true potential."]
{The first body was a man in this forties. He had been stabbed several times in the chest. His shirt and suit were coated in his own blood, which pooled in the carpet below him. Leese recoiled in horror.}
["These fools do not value your efforts. Among us, one with your abilities would rise to the highest rank faster than she could imagine."]
{The fifth body was one of the cleaners. Her throat had been cleanly sliced open. There were spots of blood on the wallpaper. Leese nearly threw up.}
["We can give you time to choose, but until then we present you with these gifts, a promise that when you join us you will be welcomed as an equal." A long blade was stuck into the ground, and a full leather pouch was hung on the handle.]
{The eleventh body was in Mr Beecham's office. Mr Beecham lay slumped on the floor, his seven-year-old daughter knelt and screamed next to him. A tall woman stood over them. The blade of her sword was covered in blood.}
["We believe you have the strength needed to be a worthy member of the sisterhood. If you want to use that strength and not squander it, you will join us."]
{The woman struck the little girl with the flat of her blade, instantly knocking her unconscious. She bundled her onto her shoulder, saying "you will do well as a sister or a sacrifice, child." And Leese recognized that voice. Overtaken with feelings of rage, hatred and horror, she pounced.}
I thought you understood... I wanted to believe you... I thought you could make me stronger...
I like Founders Falls. Sometimes I think I don't get out of Galaxy City enough. Galaxy City is nice enough, but it can't compete with Founders' natural beauty - even when that beauty is blighted by the Devouring Earth.
I got off at the new monorail station and walked out to the memorial near the gate to Eden. My target made no attempt to hide - she leaned nonchalantly against the statue wearing a purple top and black skirt, tossing something from one hand to the other, and I wondered if she really was the infamous super-spy she was reputed to be.
She seemed to recognize me as I approached.
"Funny, I thought you'd use the phone," Indigo said.
"I needed the fresh air," I said as politely as I could, trying not to let my anger show. Time to get to business. "Don't you think that was a little extreme?"
"She needed to know," the woman replied. "She needed to understand what the Knives are, before she made a terrible mistake."
"But... we didn't need to traumatize her. We could have found ways to keep closer tabs on her, keep her away from them..."
"Would not have worked," Indigo said. "Any attempts to limit her freedom would have just validated what the Sister said. Some day, she'd have got tired of it all and slipped out of your hands, and that would have been the end of her. The Knives have some powerful brainwashing techniques. Nothing would have been left of her after a month except for a horrifically powerful assassin, a new Champion of Artemis."
There was a strange tone to her voice. I tried to catch her eye, but she seemed lost in her own world.
"How is she now?" she asked.
"She won't leave her room," I said. "The full shock didn't hit her until she was in my office. They told her she would make a good sister... I think she's afraid she'll become a psychopath some day, like them."
"When she feels better," Indigo said, "I'd like to apologize. I deliberately sent her into a hopeless situation. It was a job for coroners, not heroes. I also have a few jobs that I think might suit her."
"I'm not sure she'll want to see you," I said levelly. "And frankly, I don't think I want her to either."
"Just as I thought, and understandable," Indigo replied. "But think about this. If Leese never fights the Knives again, they will always be the enemies that tricked her, scared her and almost stole her soul. If she fights them again, with a legitimate chance of success, and wins... she'll be the master of them."
I mulled this over for a while. "I'll think about it." I turned my back to Indigo. "Alls well that ends bad, I guess."
"Yes. But she'll recover."
"And at least, in the end, she did the right thing."
"She did," Indigo said, as she tossed a black pouch full of caltrops from one hand to the other.
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Thanks for reading. I adore comments, and any criticism is really appreciated.