((I'd like to mention that, if you have time, could you tell me what you think of it? Granted, it's not finished, but still... I would like to know what people would critique- What I'm doing badly, what I'm doing good...ly... And the like.))
Well, if you'd like a critique...
I've no idea what anything looks like, except for the chair - or at least I wouldn't if I didn't already know. Is the sky orange? Is there even a sky? Is the General a midgit? Does have have a moustache?
I don't have any idea what anyone sounds like. Does John Ballard speak calm, relaxed, and perfectly chipper, or does his voice carry more of a sad undertone at times? Is the General excited, impressed, or just downright stoic like a rock?
I see the dialogue. I don't see the setting or the people. Otherwise, good start.
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
The ever-continuous serpent portal closed as the figure stepped through, shaking his head and dusting himself off as he had the past few centuries. Granted, being able to hop from the 1900's to the 1200's in a split-second sort of made that wording rather useless.
"The assignment is done," he said, approaching the large crystal in the main building, the only building, actually, "Your family is fine."
The general nodded, looking relieved- "I was sure those Arachnos thugs were going to out-pace you there, Mender Ballard- Hell, they almost did. What kept you?"
"I had to stop some other time-hopping freak from going pyromaniac on a warehouse containing explosives and other assortment of technology needed for beginning Crey Industries," Mender Ballard replied, sighing as he sat down on a gold and silver chair, "I almost had to take a side-jump back to SAVE the weapons. Very unneeded."
"Indeed. Well, it was good of you to stop him- Less problems for us. Did you manage to find out what time you let the Rikti in?"
"Not yet," This was Ballard's reply every time the question came up.
At some point in the past, Mender Ballard, first name John, had opened a portal he had created. It had opened another portal with the same styling and technological level as on the Rikti Homeworld. They poured through, allowing 2.0 to barely escape alive. Steel Canyon was almost taken over before Statesman and other heroes stopped the incoming group.
Experiment had gone on the run, unable to come to terms with himself- HE had escaped, but his sister and sidekick had not. They had died in the event.
According to Ourobous records, this did not happen in the normal timeline- somebody had meddled with it, and caused the tragedy beyond Experiment 2.0's abilities. Now known as Mender Ballard, Experiment intended to go back to the time he opened the portal, and stop himself.
But, in the confusion of the escape, he had no idea when he had opened the portal, date and time-wise. And even if he did, he was hesitant to go back- Nobody had really ventured to go back and meet themselves before... What if that movie... Back to the Future, was right? What if some paradox occurred, ripping the universe in half?
This caused 2.0 to constantly stop trying to find out what time he had caused this, and try and find out, fruitlessly, what would happen. He always got himself in a timeless (excuse the pun) stalemate.
"Well, you'd better find out," the general said, his line almost rehearsed, "Paragon needs Steel Canyon."
The general exited, leaving Mender Ballard to his thoughts. He decided to think about that phrase rather than the timeline paradoxes and the like.
Why would Paragon NEED Steel? he asked himself, admiring his suit, It's not like anything extremely major happens there often- Boomtown and Atlas are far more famous.
But then, he didn't need to think these things- He KNEW what would happen, or had happened, or rather, had NOT happened- ...What would have happened had the Rikti Assault not taken place, causing structural damage to the major part of Steel. He knew for a fact that it needed to be rebuilt eventually.
...But then, why hurry? Time was, without doubt, on his side.