nice job man
OOO, nice!!! Just as a suggestion, unless you are using that for teaser ONLY, you should go back to the beggining and proofread for one or two spelling mistakes. Also when it says "He went to far" it should be "He went too far." Besides that, sounds VERY cool!
--BAS
Scarf_Girl�s Official Kid Brother!
NICE hope to see more to come.
Onibi---Fire/Fire/fire Blaster
I'm ready to burn it all.
Lets Fight!
ParadigmX City help the city.
Pretty good. Not an Evensecense (Spelling?) fan and there are a couple spelling errors but it is interesting.
End Of Man - Ill/emp Troller <- First 50.
Robosaurus - Robo/Dark <- Second 50
Urban Viking - BS/Regen <- Unplayed
*Altaholic*
I like it a lot. Cant wait to see more 
Its not a bad start, not at all!
I warn you >< I critique things kinda tough - but I'm taking the time to do this because you have a great start and I think this'll be really good <@_@> So bear that in mind <. .> ie: none of this is saying "you suck" this is all about "making this better"! K? >_<;
First question: Gift of Life Act - is this official CoH lore? (I don't know); if it is - nm. If not - and its something you made up; change the name. "Gift of Life" sounds like either mandatory organ donation, or forced hero-servitude for heroes with medically useful powers.
Remember - you aren't *giving* anyone life by not killing them - they're already quite alive. What you're doing is protecting that life; so, a better choice might be "Defense of Life" or perhaps something more abstract like "Official Adoption of the Heroic Code" - the code being whatever you want it to be.
Again - this depends on if this is official lore - I've never read about it and I think I know alot about CoH's history so I'm *betting* its not >.> If it is of course, you can't really change it <'x'> but if its something you made up - definitely work on the name.
Second: This is about sentence structure:
"On April 19th, 1967, a law was passed. The 'Gift of Life'."
Take those sentences, and combine them with the other one to make:
"On April 19th, 1967, the 'Gift of Life' act passed; barring registered heroes from resorting to lethal force in the prosecution of their duties."
Also on that third sentence, don't use present tense.
1967 is, in the context of your story - ancient history. As is this law; but you're using present tense which makes it sound... awkward.
Third: To go further with this - you then go on and tell us that the law's been repealed. But then that its brought back because of the actions of this guy.
The thing is this though - If he's being excessively forceful; then existant murder and exessive force laws that apply to police would also apply to this individual. So rather than go on with all this exposition of this law, how bout we ignore that and instead explain why he feels the need to eliminate criminals in a permanent manner. Explain his motivations a tad perhaps? ^^
Oh >< last bit; I swear I'll shuddup!
"A hero named CLASSIFIED" - Is that really his name, or is his name CLASSIFIED - (that being the name?)
If his name is CLASSIFIED as in government secret; then I recommend adding ** ** to each side. If his name happens to be "Classified" (that being his name) - use quotes!
Ok also - "Has been killing massive amounts of people breaking the law and government protected informants"
Wouldn't it be easier to say "**CLASSIFIED**, a hero of Paragon City, is out of control...
Then go on to your visuals (which are good); I recommend flashing things like this:
"No one is safe."
"Street thugs..." - near a Hellion, Skull, Freakshow - ie: ganger type
"White collar crooks..." - Family member, Crey in a suit, that sort
"Even those who've cut a deal with the system..." - another body, your choosing.
And then continue on like you have it.
Man sorry that was so much <;_;> Uhh... you see what I'm getting at? >_< You have a great start here <@_@> it just needs a little language alteration really. <. .>;;
<;_;> Yes I'm a horrible person.
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
It's Evanescence. (No, I didn't just look that up. 
)
Great movie, (Or rather a teaser FOR a movie 
) I agree with squirrel on the critiques, I was going to say something about spelling and grammar as well... But just work on the little things, that's a great movie coming, and cool text affects with the shattering glass thing. 
Thx. Kinda nub at movie maken got some peeps helpin me. All of your advice is VERY helpfull. And just in case u guys were wondering i do plan on makin a Full movie. Dont no how long, but already got 7 min of footage edited. Im thinking of puting a trailer on soon gunna keep all u guys posted! next time ill make shore to check every detail very carefully i want this to be GREAT after all. : )
C
Sounds like a winning plan!
--BAS
Scarf_Girl�s Official Kid Brother!
Gunna be my 1st movie soon. Here is a teaser hope u like it : ) ----> C Teaser