Villain story/bio ((Warning: A little disturbing))
By
Hermod,
Posted on: 2005-11-08 10:23 in Roleplaying
...Kids didn't smile, so he decided to kill them?
No history, no motivation, no statistics, no reason for doing such...all we get is a little bit of what he currently does, as well as a recap of some random thing he used to do. I see lots of place for improvement here, unless you're trying to keep him mysterious. Or something.
Also, the constant lack of breaks between actions and melding them within the text makes MY eyes water. Well, not water. Makes them spurt with blood.
I am working on flushing it out more....this was just what I have in his "In-Game" bio....not really a lot of room there to add more. As for a history, I don't think there will be one. I like the thought of people not knowing why he is the way he is....as for motivation, since when did a serial killer or sociopath need motivation? He is obviously insane in his fixation on the fact that people don't smile when he tries to cheer them...so he kills them instead.
[ QUOTE ]
Also, the constant lack of breaks between actions and melding them within the text...
[/ QUOTE ]
I hope not to sound ignorant but what do you mean by this?
Thanks for reading.
[ QUOTE ]
I am working on flushing it out more....this was just what I have in his "In-Game" bio....not really a lot of room there to add more.
[/ QUOTE ]
Understandable.
[ QUOTE ]
As for a history, I don't think there will be one. I like the thought of people not knowing why he is the way he is....as for motivation, since when did a serial killer or sociopath need motivation? He is obviously insane in his fixation on the fact that people don't smile when he tries to cheer them...so he kills them instead.
[/ QUOTE ]
Since always. Delve into the psychology of even the most twisted killer, and there's always a reason as to why. But, well, you've explained his motive right there.
[ QUOTE ]
I hope not to sound ignorant but what do you mean by this?
[/ QUOTE ]
Since it's his in-game bio, you'll likely not be able to fix it, but I'm referring to how the "flashbacks" are always in the same line as the text, which makes it a bit of an eyesore.
For example, "blah de blah de blah **FLASHBACK, OMGPWNTLOL** blah de blah de blah".
Normally, there are breaks in between those three things, so it sometimes comes out as
"blah de blah de blah
**FLASHBACK, OMGPWNTLOL**
blah de blah de blah"
...which, believe me, is far, far easier to read.
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks for reading.
[/ QUOTE ]
No problem. I always enjoy reading up on other peoples' chars. And I must say, it is an intriguing concept--the psychopathic clown angle isn't really original anymore, but the way you've created him into a unique branchoff of a necromancer really, really sets him apart from the others. Nice job.
OK.
Aside from this being some sort of blending of the Joker and Krusty the Clown...
I don't get it.
He poisons kids. Turns them into grinning zombies. Why? Cos he's nuts.
Eeenh.
Could it be that he used to be a clown, but sucked so badly at it that he never got a laugh once... and he snapped?
(Sorry... it's just that the Insane Clown From Hell theme gets done so often that it's not blowing my skirt up anymore.)
"City of Heroes. April 27, 2004 - August 31, 2012. Obliterated not with a weapon of mass destruction, not by an all-powerful supervillain... but by a cold-hearted and cowardly corporate suck-up."
[ QUOTE ]
Aside from this being some sort of blending of the Joker and Krusty the Clown...
[/ QUOTE ]
Actually I was thinking more of a cross between Bozo, Sweettooth and Pennywise. 
[ QUOTE ]
He poisons kids. Turns them into grinning zombies. Why? Cos he's nuts.
[/ QUOTE ]
Of course not! Isn't that what everyone is doing nowadays?
[ QUOTE ]
Could it be that he used to be a clown, but sucked so badly at it that he never got a laugh once... and he snapped?
[/ QUOTE ]
Well there is a lot more to it than that and it starts in his childhood but I haven't gotten around to writing it up yet.
[ QUOTE ]
(Sorry... it's just that the Insane Clown From Hell theme gets done so often that it's not blowing my skirt up anymore.)
[/ QUOTE ]
No need to apologize. I know it's not the most original idea in town but I always love a good ol' creepy circus/carnival villain.
Hey I could have always made a werewolf or the son/daughter of a demon...we never see any of those... 
Thanks for reading.
[ QUOTE ]
Hey I could have always made a werewolf or the son/daughter of a demon...we never see any of those...
[/ QUOTE ]
[sob]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hey I could have always made a werewolf or the son/daughter of a demon...we never see any of those...
[/ QUOTE ]
[sob]
[/ QUOTE ]
*Comforts Terminus*
Don't worry, that's never going to happen. If it does I'll personally track down the creator and kill him.
I made a clone of my hero; does that count as original? :P
Villain Name: Mr. Rictus
Powers: Necromancy & Poison
Bio:
**Soft carnival music plays** "Why hello boys and girls! It's me, Mr. R! Now you just sit down and let me tell you about a funny man who we'll call Petey. Now Petey was a nice man who only ever tried to make kiddies smile...you all like to smile don't you? **Flash to the evil, yellowed, crooked grin of the storyteller** Well so did Petey! In fact it was his job to make children smile! Especially the sad, sick kids where he worked.**Flash to the terminal childrens ward at a hospital** But the sick kids never really liked to smiled much and Petey was sad.**Flash to a grimacing Clown's face** So, Petey mixed up a magic potion that would make them all smile forever! **Flash to a Drug & Chemical storage room** And when he gave it to them they all shook with laughter and happiness! **Flash to children racked horrible by seizures, eyes watering, thick, viscous foam seeping between the huge grins frozen on their terrified faces** And together they all lived happily ever after! **Flash to a clown leading a small parade of shambling zombies with hideous grins frozen on their pallid faces** Now wasn't that a great story kids! Here now have some of Mr. R's oops! I mean Petey's magic potion! **Flash to kids drinking a glowing green liquid** Go on now smile kids! Smile forever! Smile you little brats...."