I like your style when it comes to penning the action. It's not an easy thing to do by any means, and you manage to keep the scene flowing. (Ah, reminds me of the days I was a language major in college...) So, yes, very good. Action, humor, and really good descriptors of effects and just the general feeling of a power.
I wrote this story about my character. Just was wanting opinions:
Xeon Glow crouched behind a billboard on the roof of a two story
building, keeping an eye on the front door across the street. She had
a few moments still, and was grateful for the chance to rest. The
rain fell on her shiny black skin and sizzled from the heat.
Teleporting across a zone always took alot out of her. It had become
easier since she realized she had that ability. One of the few
advantages to her new, unusual body. And just one of many things she
had to become used to. She looked down at the green energy flowing
through her arms, the same color as the last thing she saw in her
former life, before an unstable Rikti device had destroyed everything
a month ago. The research lab she worked in, the warehouse it was
disguised in, several fellow Crey employees, and half a city block.
Not to mention her life.
She'd found a new life however. Hunting the bastards who did this to
her. One of her contacts had alerted her to another secret Crey
Industries lab in this area, and two hours later, she'd found it. She
could feel the same energy that coursed her coming from the building
across the stress. It seemed to send a hum through her bones. She
wondered if she even still had bones. Fifteen minutes ago she
contacted one of the few other heroes she had worked with since the
accident, a woman calling herself Multi-Vytamyn. Together, she hoped
they could take down this lab before any serious damage was done.
At this time of night the street was quiet, with only distant traffic
making any kind of sound over the rain. She could still hear
footsteps coming from around the corner down below however. She
slowly hovered down to meet her teammate, another advantage to her new
body.
Multi-Vytamyn, like Xeon, was another hero who wouldn't find it easy
to blend in with a crowd. Her skin had a light purple tint to it, and
she wore a fairly revealing purple outfit. Xeon suspected that her
odd coloring was natural, but hadn't inquired about it. A hero's
origin could be a private thing to some.
"Hey! Is this the place?"
"Across the street." Xeon said, pointing to the unassuming front door,
lit only by a yellow bulb above it.
"Is there a back way in?"
"I don't think so. They usually keep these places pretty secure. But
if their employee policies haven't changed there should only be a few
scientists and a couple guards. Nothing to worry about."
"Ahh...well ok. I'm ready if you are."
Even though they were going through the front door, they still kept
quiet and out of the light as they moved across the street, and along
the outerwall. Xeon tried the handle, but it was locked, of course.
She knew it would be. She reached down inside herself, to the energy
which was always fighting to be released, and let a little out, just
into her finger. With a snap and a bright blue flash the door handle
turned into a melted red mess and fell off.
"You'd make a great thief if you ever decided to stop helping people."
Multi-Vytamyn said with a wry smile.
"You'd make a pretty good doctor if you wanted to give up the hero
life, also." Xeon replied, while opening the door.
"Yeah but that wouldn't be nearly as interesting as sneaking into
buildings in the bad part of town at 2 a.m."
The inside contrasted sharply with the outside building. A bright,
well lit lobby greeted them. It matched standard security rooms that
Xeon had become accustomed to in her former life. No chairs, no
shadows. Just a plexiglass window with a small room for a security
guard to let you in. Tonight there was no guard though.
"Easy." Multi-Vytamyn said.
"Careful, Crey is not usually lax in their security measures."
"Maybe they figure that this place is too well hidden." Multi offered.
"Can you see anything past the door?"
Multi's eyes caught a green tint as she tried to see past the wall.
"Nothing. Either it's too well shielded or it's empty."
Xeon walked up to the door and placed a hand on it. The vibrations
from the Rikti energy inside was stronger here.
"Well let's find out."
Xeon let the energy flow into her arms and hands until bright red
globes of light surrounded her fists. She pulled back and slammed her
fist into the steel. It crumpled and collapsed with an ear shattering
bang. They ran in. No reason to sneak around now.
The white halls of the lab took Xeon back to her previous job. She
felt almost nostalgic. But she stayed focused on what she was here to
do. The layout was simple enough. A straight run down the hall, a
left turn, and they found the main research room. Inside were several
men in lab coats standing over a chrome table littered with tools.
Standing upright in the center was an object that made Xeon shake with
fear. It was a Rikti power core. And it was on.
"That's dangerous!" Xeon yelled. Running to shove the researchers out
of the way.
"Wait!" Multi shouted, trying to grab her.
"You would know wouldn't you?" A lab assistant said, turning to face
her. "Xeon Glow."
She recognized the face immediately. It was her former boss, the head
researched of Crey Industries. The two other lab assistants threw off
their coats to reveal blue armor underneath.
"It's a trap!" Xeon yelled. "Run!"
As the armored security guards rushed her she heard the main entrance
door slam down. She hoped Multi-Vytamyn got out. Drawing on her
energy again, Xeon let loose a power wave that knocked one of the
guards off his feet. The other stumbled but still was able to get to
her. He slammed a metal fist into the side of her face, knocking her
back. Before she could recover he grabbed her and spun her around,
twisting her arm up behind her back. Pain flooded through her
shoulder as she heard a loud crack. 'I guess that answers my bone
question.' she thought, trying to keep her mind working over the
pain.
The other guard got was still struggling to get up but Crey's lead
research scientist was already moving towards her with his fist
raised. Xeon saw he wore a heavy metal gauntlet that was humming with
energy.
"We can't have you messing up anymore of our operations." He said
with a grimace. Before the punch could land though, two green, pencil
thin beams of light hit him on the side of the face. He screamed and
covered his cheek where two smoking holes had appeared. Xeon used the
distraction to wheel around and face the guard, ignoring the pain in
her shoulder. She let the energy fly into her working arm and smashed
the guard holding her in the chest. Then turned and let the lead
researched have a much larger blast of the same energy she'd used to
open the front door. He flew across the room to land right in front of
Multi-Vytamyn standing at the doorway, her eyes glowing a bright
green.
"Behind you!" Multi shouted. Xeon spun around but the guard was
already too close. He tackled her and they both fell to the floor.
With only one arm Xeon wasn't able to hold him back. He pressed his
weight down on her broken shoulder, and Xeon's vision swam as she
struggled to hold onto consciousness. The room filled with a green
glow and Xeon realized the guard was weakening. Multi was filling the
room with radiation, sapping the guard's strength. She fought back
and was able to get her feet under him. Using the last bit of
strength she had she launched him off her and against the wall.
Hardly stunned, he started to get up, when a large green beam hit him
in the chest, knocking him back against the wall. He collapsed.
Xeon laid back down as Multi-Vytamin approached her and laid herhand
on her shoulder. With another green glow, she felt her shoulder set
back into place and the pain go away.
"See, I told you, a good doctor." She said, getting up and walking to
the lead researcher. She rolled him over and took his wallet out of
his back pocket, opening it she withdrew a handful of cash and dropped
it back onto his unconscious body.
"That's not very heroic!" Multi said, faking a shocked look.
"They owe me."
"Yeah I guess you can't really sue them for worker's compensation."
Multi said with a smile. Xeon had already shared her own origin
story. She walked over to the Rikti power core, flipped it off, and
picked it up.
"Come on, let's get out of here before more guards show up. I guess
I'm the one being hunter now."