My Agent [Poetry]




Hello? Yes, Maury Shupfeld please.


No the Superhero, not the magazine.

La ti da ti da ti da dity, the girl from Ipan-
Yes, hiya, just fine thanks.

Look Maury I don't know how to say this. I think I need a new agent.

Well so far you have only gotten me a contestant slot on Street Smarts,
and that was because you sold me as something I'm not.

Yes, it was very nice meeting Maya Angelou, surprising really.

No, she was not very happy to meet me. Something about being tricked by her agent.

Really. I didn't know that. When did you land her account?

Anyway it didn't work out well.

No I lost.


What does this have to do with anything Maury.

I dunno she's like five foot six, I'm five eleven

Yes I was in flats, I don't wear heeled boots. Are you sure you know who I am Maury.

On your desk? My Picture... Ok. Describe me.

No Male.

Of course I'm sure.

Yes, I've always been male and this has always been my voice.

I'm Thirty-two, Maury. You know this is not helping to change my mind about finding a new agent.


A party?

For the mayor's daughter, ok Maury you've impressed me.

So, then what... as a bodyguard for a high level attendee?

Maury I won't do it.

I'm mystical Maury not magical.

A big difference Maury! I Don't Do Kids Parties and I'm Not a Magician!

Listen to me Maury. Mist-tee-cal ... Maa-gee-cal. They sound very different.

No Maury, my powers don't work like that. Especially on rabbits. In fact the effect on rabbits would get me arrested and probably sued by the SPCA as well.

Maury you're not listening. There is nothing you can say that will make me do-

That much? For how long.

I mean what do I do, just stand around? What?

So what is this Circle of Thorns dance they want to do around me?

That's what she said? I just stand in the middle and they do the rest. That's it. That's all. You promise. Just that and signing a few autographs.

FINE! Just give me the address. But Maury, no more parties. None. I'll call you when I'm done.

I wrote this over the weekend and now I see that AscendAnt has been doing some wonderful similar work on the virtue server. I suggest looking some of it up. It's really great stuff.